Since Little B gave birth to a daughter, whenever she talks about children, everyone suggests that Little B should have a second child soon. Little B shook her head, smiled and didn't say a word. Not only is Little B like this, even his in-laws don't want Little B to have another child. Everyone was confused. Logically, older people like to have more children and have more happiness, and since Little B's first child was a daughter, if older people like grandchildren, then older people would definitely want to have another one. But Little B's in-laws don't think so. Their views represent those of many grandparents in the 1950s and 1960s.
First of all, old people don't want to go away
If a grandmother leaves home to help look after her grandchildren, she has to eat and live at her son's house. Often, the grandfather will not come with her. After all, housing is limited and inconvenient. As a result, the young couple sacrificed everyone of their parents for their small family and kept the older couple apart from each other for a long time. The grandfather lives alone in his home town. It was difficult to ensure the quality of his daily diet, not to mention how lonely he was. The older a person gets, the more they love their family and the more they want their old partner around, but they have to be separated for a while for the sake of their children.
Secondly, the concept of parenting between the elderly and their sons and daughters-in-law is completely different
An older woman once said, "I'm only responsible for the children's transportation, food and bathing. The child's education can only be controlled by the parents themselves." This leads to inconsistent parenting in the family. Mothers don't allow their children to eat candy. The grandmother desperately wants to give the child candy. This leads to conflict, and gradually evolves into "the mother-in-law is afraid to control, the mother is uneasy".
Thirdly, the elderly suffer financially
A young couple can't bring up their children because they have to go to work, so they have to ask the elderly to help them. But now, 60 is not old. Even if he is retired, he can still use his spare time to do part-time jobs, even odd jobs, as long as he doesn't bring up the kids. For example, as a waiter, a security guard and a highly educated grandmother, he can continue to work as a line accountant, a teacher and so on.
Fourth, the spirit of the elderly is damaged
Likewise, if the elderly help the baby, then the plan of regular outings will be undermined, and the square dance at 7:30 pm every night will not be able to go on normally. He has to be around the baby every day, has to "take care" of his son and daughter-in-law, and works as a cook. Even when he had time for himself, it was very little. When he arrives in an unfamiliar city, he needs to reacquaint himself with a new group of people, and the old man is not well adjusted psychologically. It is fundamental to quickly bring the older children back to their familiar hometown. It is due to these factors that the traditional concept of "many children and more happiness" has changed.