The other day on Mother's Day, just as the country, regardless of whether it is a small cotton jacket or a big leather pants scramble to buy a gift for their mothers, mothers rejoice in the holiday time. But the aunty contacted my mom in tears saying that her daughter had bought her mother-in-law a cell phone, a new dress, and flowers, but not a dime of anything for her. Normally people must buy for their own mom first, then their mother-in-law, or both at the same time, but the cousin did the opposite. And of course her husband was satisfied with his daughter-in-law's behavior, and he didn't show any half-heartedness towards his mother-in-law. Thinking about it is also, your own mother you do not miss, I miss what kind of it?
Then from the couple's performance, is the aunt of this biological daughter is not good, or the only son-in-law pick and choose. I think it should not be, it should be too good. Originally cousin couple married for many years without children, the real mother is anxious, leading her daughter around to seek medical advice, traveled around the neighborhood famous treatment of infertility doctor, who is good at what kind of disease can be said to be familiar with the road. If there are people around who are having trouble getting a child, they can just say that they are looking for their aunt because she knows who is more suitable, kind of like the initial diagnosis in a hospital, diagnosing the disease and giving the right doctor.
And what was the cousin's mother-in-law busy with at this point? Finding alternatives for her son, in her words four-legged toads are hard to find, two-legged live ones are all over the place. Why fall in love with a single flower, and it is a dry flower that does not spread its leaves. Every day and his son said, early departure, early child early to remember, and then delay the age will be older. Fortunately, her son at this time stand firm, did not listen to fuck.
Later, after a lot of hard work, burning incense, visiting famous doctors, cousin pregnant, and gave birth to a big fat boy.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman with a baby in her arms, and I've never seen her with a baby in her arms.
And after the birth of the child, the cousin's day did not change much, is still starry-eyed to see and send short videos, to say that there is no change is not all right, she is now sending video content more of her son. In the words of the aunt: "This son is a prop, need to take out and shoot a shot, shoot a good send back to her."
And auntie's days have changed a lot, there was still time to go to a square dance with her little sister at night and work a shift during the day. But since the beginning of the day to take care of the grandson, her whole body is almost glued to the grandson, one is truly love this baby, two is afraid that she neglected the child has any fault, daughter and son-in-law blame with her. As for the expenses, the aunt's husband can earn about 100,000 yuan a year, are used to subsidize the daughter of this family.
It's a good thing that you're not a big fan of the newest and most popular brands in the world, but it's a good thing that you're not a big fan of the newest and most popular brands. The first thing you need to do is to buy your mother-in-law a gift on Mother's Day, and then buy a gift for your father-in-law on Father's Day. But return home contentedly enjoying the services and money provided by their own parents. Auntie said, "In a previous life, the two people may have been enemies, she owes her daughter."
02 own mother to help take care of the child, sick daughter did not half care
In the old family, my oldest cousin, last year, is also helping her daughter with the baby. And Mother's Day is nothing to confiscate, but this is her daughter to do more average, whether it is the mother-in-law or the real mother did not buy anything. She did think of herself as a mother, in order to reward herself for her hard work in giving birth to a child, and bought a fruit phone to treat herself. The mother-in-law is speechless, the cousin is even more speechless, but she did not criticize her own daughter, saying that she is still small, is small ah, only 30 years old, only become a mother, how to raise to fifty or sixty years old to be considered an adult.
Recently, Auntie's legs hurt so much that she couldn't walk, so she talked to her daughter. The daughter complained about her at this time: "Why did not you say earlier, on your condition to take care of the child, are worried about the child fell down."
The mother-in-law called her and asked her to take care of the child. The mother-in-law is willing to take care of the grandchildren, not willing to look at her lazy look, but forced to cousin legs are really not good, but also can only be hard to come. She came in to chat with her cousin first, and then took a look at her swollen legs like big buns, suddenly angry, picking up his son's collar and began to scold: "Have you long heart? Your mother in law for you to take care of the child, the leg is swollen like this, are in pain and grimace, you still do not send to the hospital, what are you waiting for."
Her son stammered, "My daughter-in-law said, that's all minor, in a few days it will be fine."
"Are you doctors?"
The old man made the call and sent his cousin to the hospital. The doctor took a look and said, "The old man is really good, fracture must be much pain, actually can hold out for a week."
And when talking cousin's daughter was seriously brushing the video, the corners of her mouth showing a smile. The doctor then said, "Nowadays, we can't afford to have a lot of money to spend on the business," he said. The doctor went on to say, "Young people nowadays do not love the elderly at all, but you have to love yourselves."
Cousin heard a fire and said: "Look at your disease, do not talk about anything else, just you filial piety, I sent my mom to your home you raise ah, the future does not still have to raise me."
"I don't need you to raise, I can move now, you are to me like this, I still expect the future how you treat me."
Since then the cousin went home, and her husband two people go out to work together, to give people do home nanny, a month income of more than 10,000 yuan. In her words: "Now I am living to understand, no one can rely on, can only rely on themselves. The old man counted on who old age, the most reliable is their own."
03 Parents who are too spoiled a child, they do not quite know how to be grateful
Looking at the experience of the aunt and cousin, it reminds me of a story about a mom who is usually very busy at work, she also has to scramble to get to and from work to pick up her daughter, and go home to take care of all the chores, in order not to delay her daughter's study time, cut the fruit into bite-sized, lest her daughter complain about the need to bite. And after a few things, she realized that she can no longer spoil her daughter like this, or else she will be an ungrateful person in the future, a person who does not know how to be grateful.
The first thing is that her daughter took the longan and said to her own mother, "Mom today's lychee is very tasty, buy more tomorrow."
"Gosh, this is longan where is lychee." Also blame yourself for managing too comprehensive to do too much, every time the lychee and longan she peeled off the skin, remove the core, and then put on the exquisite fruit plate served to the daughter to eat. Now it's good that her daughter has become a person who can't distinguish between the five grains.
The second thing is that once she was late from work, she said to her daughter beforehand that she would let her take a taxi back, but her daughter preferred her to come to pick her up. In fact, the mother had an accident that day, her foot was smashed by a flowerpot, wrapped in thick gauze on her left foot, she could only barely put on a pair of men's big slippers to pick up her daughter. As a result, the daughter saw her half a word of concern are not, specifically say half a word are not. From the car began to give her a variety of face, she was cold ah.
After that, the mom let her daughter do her chores, and she no longer went to school. One time it was pouring with rain, she thought about either going to pick up her daughter, today's work is not busy. As a result, the daughter saw her and hugged and hugged, and said: "Mom is so good, to pick me up, hard."
See, if this mom has been all-around nannying her daughter, can change her daughter's change today?
04 Learn to love, not "spoil"
Both the aunt and the cousin, they are spoiled their own children, and it is from the childhood spoiled to the big, to they have their own sons and daughters. With the old saying that spoiled children are unfortunate and delicate children are hard to make, even if it is for the sake of your children, you should not spoil them anymore. So what is normal love and what is spoiled?
The book "Positive Psychology of Children" points out that spoiling and love, in essence, are two completely different things.
Spoiled: the starting point is "control, arranged, criticism" love: the starting point is "tolerance, freedom, appreciation" more specifically, spoiled the most important sign is "instead of the child to do what he should have done himself". The most important sign of spoiling is to "replace the child to do what he should have done by himself", we can think back to your surroundings there must be such a phenomenon. Some children are already in the third or fourth grade of elementary school, and their parents are still dressing them. Some children can already eat by themselves, especially those who have already started elementary school. Every day after school, parents still feed their children while letting them play.
Normal love gives the child three rights in life, (1) the right to choose (2) the right to try (3) the right to make mistakes.
Auntie and cousin's spoiling, so that their children lost these three rights, in the home, specifically in the side of their parents, can be completely free of brain do not have to act. But this kind of all-round care, this kind of spoiling in exchange for and normal love is completely different from the child, was given the normal love of the child, they know to give back to their parents, to take care of their parents. And the spoiled children do not know filial piety, do not know how to be grateful, feel that everything their parents do is deserved. If you don't want to raise unfilial children, stop spoiling.
La quinoa: Record what you feel on a daily basis!