2. Why didn't the white rabbit marry the zebra? ==>Because the rabbit's mother said tattoos are not good
3. When will X be unified? ==>When you buy instant noodles (Unified Instant Noodles)
4. What line does the monkey dislike? ==>Parallel lines (because they don't intersect)
5. Chocolate and tomato fight, why does chocolate win?
6. What happens when a shark eats a green bean? ==>It turns into mung bean paste
7. When a match burns and goes to the hospital, what does it turn into? ===>Cotton swabs
8. How did Lin Daiyu die? ==>Fell to her death (the sky fell a sister Lin)
9. A pig said: "Come on ah", playing a food? ==>Chocolate
10. potato stabbed the bun fatal knife, how? ==>Turned into a bean paste (kill) bag
11. What animal loves to stick on the wall? ==>Seals
12. Why do foxes often fall? ==> Because foxes are very cunning (slippery feet)
13. 4 people were playing mahjong in the house, the police came and took away 5 people ==> Because they were playing with people called "mahjong"
14. When do you like to drink soda? ==>When you're lonely (when you're lonely you think about soda)
15. What happened to an egg that went to a teahouse for tea?
16. There is a buck, it walks, walks faster and faster, finally how? ==>It became a highway
17. One day the green bean suicide jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood, how is it? ==>It turned into a red bean
18. Why don't airplanes fly so high and hit the stars? ==>Because the stars will flash ah
19. corn want to pursue fashion, go perm, how did it turn out?
20. What kind of mouse walks on two feet? ==>Mickey Mouse
21. What duck walks on two feet? ==>All ducks walk on two feet (is not trying to say Tang Lao Duck)
22. Miss business is not doing well now, why? ==>Bird flu
23. What kind of person can't work at a gas station? ==>The one who slips on the gas gun
24. Are dumplings for boys or girls? ==>Boys because dumplings have a wrapper
25.A man in a golden dress ==>A shocking (golden)man
26.A bee stung on a wall calendar ==>Wind (bee) and sunshine (calendar)
27.A bear came up to me ==>Prepared (with a BEAR to come)
28.Cell phones can't be dropped in the toilet ==>Cell phones can't be dropped in the toilet. You can't drop your cell phone in the toilet ==>You can't lose it."
29. There are ten sheep, nine of them squatting in the sheep pen ==>Iambic pentameter (one of them squats on the wrong side)
30. How do you make a sparrow quiet?
31. What is a transparent sword? ==>Invisible (sword)
32. African cannibal chiefs eat what, A: eat people, the chief to eat vegetarian? ==>Eating plants
33. Why are there no dinosaurs now? ==>Dinosaurs went to make movies
34. White is like his brother, know why?
35. How about an egg that went swimming in the Songhua River?
36. There was an egg that went to Shandong, how? ==> became Lu (brine) eggs
37. There is an egg homeless, how? ==> became a wild egg
38. There is an egg on the road accidentally fell a cross, fell to the ground, how?
39. An egg ran into the flowers, how? ==> turned into a flower girl
40. There is an egg to the Dead Sea swimming, how?
41. Xiaoming and Xiaohua went to the beach and competed in a joke-telling contest, and after they finished their jokes, they died, why? ==> Because the tsunami (laughs)
42. Why don't hans go out? ==>Because when you go out, you become a layman
43. Why can't you see God's penis?
44. Why is there only one tip of the iceberg? ==>Because the other corner was broken off by the Titanic
45. How do you keep a duck from flying away? ==>Stick a wing on it (a wing is hard to fly)
46. Who doesn't have a telephone? ==>Tianyi(seamless phone)
47. Magazhi once said to me privately: "The knife that is blunt to the extreme is the most lethal", why? ==>Because it is a hammer
48. Chang'e why rush to the moon? ==> Hou Yi shot nine days, even if the gods he can not stand ah
49. small black, small white, small yellow, small red four people on the plane, ask who will be dizzy opportunity to vomit? ==>White rabbit (vomit)
50. There is a fat man jumped from a high building, what happened?
51. There are two people fell into the trap, the dead people called dead people, the living people called what? ==>Help
52. rubber, tiger skin, lion skin which one is the worst? ==>Eraser (eraser poor)
53. cloth and paper afraid of what? ==> not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only (paper) afraid of the eventuality
54. The following appearance of the guest is the pride of our Chinese men, is a singer, you guess who?
55. Which song has "Coco Lee" in the lyrics? ==>The Moon Represents My Heart (Coco Lee How Deeply I Love You)
56. Why does Harry Potter live in a light bulb? ==>Because Harry Potter is a wizard(tungsten)
57. What unicorn is the most delicious? ==>Ice cream
58. What unicorn is the fastest runner? ==The cause of constipation ==>Stallone
60.Which place has the fastest river, the city or the country? ==>The countryside, because the countryside river is too fast (each other too fast)
61. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, C, D, E, F, G, C, which one is the coolest word? ==>D(thong)
62.There's a room where pigeons will hide ==>I'm hiding your song on the roof(pigeon)
63.What's the one thing to do at 12 o'clock sharp at night? ==>Clasp your hands, because it's time to clasp your hands
64. Police, hooligans, soldiers, which one is the skinniest? ==>Hooligans (Professor Hooligan - thinner)
65.There is a moron on the plane, the toilet on the plane removed to throw, guess why? ==>Because he was an idiot
66. How many brothers does Aladdin have? ==> Three (Ara A, Ara B, Ara C)
67. A group of eunuchs chatting, Guess an idiom ==> Nonsense (无鸡之谈)
68. How much is a heart worth? ==> One hundred million (one heart one mind)
69. Which of the sun, moon and stars is dumb? ==>Star(Stars in the sky don't talk - Rubin flower)
69. What is the last name of the pencil? ==>Xiao, Sharpen (Xiao) pencil
70. What color is the best imitation? Red mimic
71. Who will help you add to your meal when you're full? ==>Flying dragons, because they are in the sky
72. A puppy was traveling in the desert and died, how did he die?
72. A small dog traveling in the desert died, how did he die?
A puppy traveling in the desert found a utility pole with nothing on it and died, why?
A puppy traveling in the desert found a utility pole with nothing on it and lined up, but still suffocated, why? ==>Because behind are two beautiful dog MM, he was embarrassed
73. wolf, tiger and lion who play the game will be eliminated? ==> Wolf, because - Momotaro (eliminating the wolf)
74. Which historical figure is the most unpopular? ==>Suwu shepherds the sheep on the northern seashore
75. Which historical figure was the fastest runner? ==>Cao Cao
76. Cars can fly, guess a drink ==>Coffee (Car fly)
77. Before there is a steamed bun, ate a meatball, how is it?
78. Who gave you the Water of Forgetfulness? ==>Aha ("Aha, give me a cup of forgetfulness")
79. There was a white cat and a black cat, the white cat fell into the water, the black cat saved it, the white cat said something to the black cat? ==>Meow
80. Xiao Ming's grandfather sang while brushing his teeth. ==>He was brushing his false teeth
81. How much does a star weigh in the sky? ==>Eight grams (starbucks)
82. X is part of China (playing a name of a Chinese herb)==>Angelica sinensis
83. Jade Emperor sneeze (playing a name of a city)==>Tianjin
84. Why do the geese fly to the south in the fall? ==>If you walk, it's too slow
85. The farmer had 10 cows and only 19 horns, why? ==>There is a rhinoceros
86. Chubby is a famous diving athlete, but one day he stood on the diving board, but did not dare to jump down, this is why? ==> because there is no water below
87. A cab on the highway driving normally, and did not violate any traffic rules, but was a police officer to stop, why? ==>The policeman wanted to take the taxi
88. What kind of chicken has no wings? ==>A field hen
89. What's the most comfortable way to beat something that doesn't take much effort? ==>Dozing
90.What is a product whose manufacturing date and expiration date are the same day? ==>Newspaper
91.What book can't you buy in a bookstore? ==>Posthumous books
92. The best-selling book? ==>Women Secretaries
93.The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it, why? ==>My mom said that people who hang out on the internet all day long are not good people
94. The panda was in love with the deer, but when he expressed his love, he was rejected, why? ==>The deer timidly said: my mom said, wearing sunglasses are bad boys
95. zoo meeting who did not go to participate? ==>Lion (because the lion "lost" to contact)
96.Fat man sitting in a sedan chair (playing a place name)==>Yugoslavia
97.Going to the toilet (playing the name of a Hong Kong female artist)==>Karen Mok (Reason: Mok smell smell)
98.Grandpa, Dad, brother who listen to the words of the mother will be in tears? ==>Grandpa (night and day) remembers his mother's words, flashing tears
99. There are two bees who love each other very much, and then the female bee marries a spider why?
100. The day is good, the night is difficult (playing a building) ==> one-wood bridge
2. I not only have a car, or self!
3. If you like it, I'll buy it for you... (After realizing the other person's anger) No, it's "I'll buy it for you, brother!"
4. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?
5. I won't say anything even if I'm dead, but you haven't done it yet!
6. I'm not only good with my hands, I'm also good with my feet!
7. The mirror will always reflect!
8. What's the point of being handsome? You'll probably be eaten by a pawn!
9. You don't have to worry about me, there's nothing I can't do!
10. Don't be nervous, I'm not a good person ......
11. Don't worry about your girlfriend following me in trouble ---- As long as she has a life egg, we will immediately step on the egg broken, never let the principal and parents know!
12. Don't thank you, thank you how to collect money from you ah!
13. Don't tell me to come here ---- I am Avanti!
14. You are ignoring me, then I become a dog!
15. When will the moon come out, go ask the EZT!
16. If you can't reach it, try stepping on the right foot with the left
17. Some people live, he should have died long ago!
18.You said... You like me? Actually... I started out... In fact, I also... Well, I'll tell you what, I kinda like myself, too.
19. Are you drinking water, or water, or water? You can take your pick!
20. The green hills are still there, just a little red.
21. Hey should be said to say, should not be said in a whisper.
22. Readers of the matter, can say steal
23. Hate it, don't ask single men such questions!
24. The son once said: Do not take my tolerance of you as the capital of your shamelessness!
25. Don't think I look handsome think I'm unattainable, in fact, I'm a sea of ah.
26. Today's weather is good, and windy and rainy.
27. As a typical failure, you are too successful!
28. I really want to destroy this little worm, but my tongue is not long enough...
29.Three tanner's feet stink to death of a Zhu Geliang.
30.In this red leaf maple in the golden fall ......
31. One cuts the thyroid hormone, one does not.
32. I'll tie you to a straw boat to borrow arrows if you're annoying me again!
33. The wind and the water are cold, and the money is owed to you!
34. A: Where to eat? I have no money.
B: down the restaurant, I please ---- hose.
35. See if there's anything that should be left behind?
36. I left the blue dragon right **, waist tattoo a Mickey Mouse. 38. A: It's hard not to take this revenge.
B: How can I get you to swallow your anger?
40. She's so fat that I can't even twist her arm with my leg.
41.The book is the first to dry, the sea of eight treasures for porridge.
42. The world is ours and our sons', but ultimately it's the grandkids'.
43. I'll write the homework!
44. A: Did you do your homework?
B: Sit down! Here, under the P-share, it's still warm... You want it? Here you go.
45. Who is sitting in the bank today, even the blackboard is not wiped!
46. How much is this shoe?
1. A buck, it walks, walks faster and faster, and finally it becomes a highway (deer)!!!!
2.Two tomatoes crossing the road, a car sped by, one of them dodged and was flattened, the other tomato pointed to the flattened tomato and laughed: dig hahahaha, tomato sauce...
3.The big bad wolf said, "I'm going to eat you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Guess what?
The big bad wolf ended up eating the lamb.
4. The stone and the rice cake fought, the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea ............
Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private promise of marriage, but the boy needed to serve in the army, so he made a vow with the girl and gave her a diamond ring, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a diamond ring and promise that you will meet the girl three years from today, and then that ring will be your wedding ring. After three years, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but has not been able to wait, she was too sad, desperate she threw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. However, the boy in fact has been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, so it will be forever a regret. The boy was heartbroken... After a few years, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?
Rice cakes!!!!
5. Are dumplings for boys or girls
Answer Boys because dumplings have a wrapper
6. There was a duck named Little Yellow, and one day he was hit by a car, and he cried out, "Quack!" And he's been a little cucumber ever since!!!!
7. Matchstick suddenly felt an itch on his head, so he reached out to scratch it, and as he did so, he burned himself to death...
8. Once upon a time, once upon a time, there was a bird
who passed by a field of corn every day
but unfortunately
one day there was a fire in that field
and all the corn all turned into popcorn
After the bird flew past ......
Thinking it was snowing, it got cold...
9. When will Taiwan want to unify?
Buying instant noodles
10. Ah Song and Ah Pak were chatting with each other over nothing and said that the years are not forgiving.
Ah Song: "When I remember my childhood, the happiest time I had was Children's Day."
Apai: "After ten years, it's Youth Day."
Azon: "After ten more years it's Father's Day."
Arbor: "In a couple decades it will be Old Man's Day."
Ah Song: "Another couple more decades ."
Apai: "Qingming Festival."
11. Soldiers: "Thirsty ...... Thirsty ......"
Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on a little longer! I've been to this place before, and I remember there's a plum forest nearby, so if we walk a little further, we might be there"
Soldiers: "Oh ￣￣￣￣ there's plums to eat ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣"
Half an hour later -Cao Ren: "My Lord! The expedition has found a large amount of water!"
Cao Cao: "Hahahahaha, did you hear that? Finally have water to drink"
The soldiers: "Do not go ...... must find the plum ...... "12. A girl fell out of love, I advised her: "two-legged toad is not good to find, three-legged men have plenty of ah!"
13. One day Xiao Qiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"
14. A rare steak and a medium rare steak met on the street, why didn't they say hello? (Assuming they could talk.)
Because ....................
Because ........................
Because they're not familiar with each other! ~~~~~~
15. Q: How do you quiet a sparrow?
Answer: press it a little.
Reason: crows are silent (press the sparrow).
16. A college student was unfortunately captured by the enemy, who tied him to a telephone pole and then asked him, "Say, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I'll electrocute you!!!" This college student said something back to the enemy and ended up being electrocuted ......
He said, "I'm from the University of Electricity!"
17. A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras."
B: "Really? Where? Take me there!"
A: "It's right next door to the kindergarten!"
18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of the Happy Dictionary program, interviewed a viewer of the program and asked, "Which female host do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said: "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked, "Why do you say that?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"
19. Do you know what color Spiderman is?
Red, wrong!
It's white.
If you don't believe me, read Spiderman's English: spider man (是白的人)
20.Why did Ming fall down?
Please think twice ........................... .....
Because the floor is slippery
21. A group of animals rushed into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something after a party, and because it was too noisy, they were all beaten out by the clerk, but the sheep was left alone in the store.
Convenience stores do not close 24 hours ah .........
22. Glasses and coffee cups together across the street, suddenly someone shouted: the car is coming!
The glass was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was fine.
The coffee cup has ears!
23. A horse said, "My company is proud to introduce a new product, Horse Fart No. 3, or MP3 for short...
24. I hate two kinds of people:
One is racist;
The second one is black;
The third one is not able to read and write!
25. I would like to thank Ozawa Yuan, Asahi Ran, Nagase Ai, Mitsutake Ryoko, Takagi Maria, Kawamoto Mai, Sadagi Hitomi, Natsuki Miyuki, Serizushi Naomi, Shiraishi, Kudo Aoi, Koyamauchi Mayu, Kishikawa Miho, Nishida Tomoki, Sawai Aya, Fujisaki Aihana, Yezan Mizuki-chan, Inoue Chihiro, Matsumura, Yuki, and Izumi Shizuka for their work and for all the other people that I know and don't know, who have been in my computer and now have been lost. I know the names of these exotic friends who used to be in my computer and whose names have now been deleted or are still in my computer: they were the ones who accompanied me through lonely nights; they comforted me when I was in the worst of my spirit; they made me feel the pleasure of smoothness when I was exhausted from playing CS; they made me feel high when I was in a state of depression and didn't have a feeling for the game.
26. Now the accuracy of earthquake prediction has really improved a lot, this time there are only two words short of the prediction in the "Heilongjiang", but the result is in the "Jiujiang"!
27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Ying"
He Jie said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Jie"
He Jie said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Jie. -Idol's idol is called Jie"
Zhou Penchang said: "Fans who worship me say -Idol's idol is called Chang"
Li Yuchun said: "You guys chat, I'm leaving first!"
28. Five Fuwa got together to chat.
Beibei suggested: Let's give ourselves a nickname, I'll be called "Beiwa"!
Jingjing: I'll be called Jingwa!
Huanhuan: I'll call her "Huanwa"!
NiNi: I'll be called "NiWa"!
YingYing stood up and said: you guys talk, I have something to do, I'm leaving first ......
That is to say, in the year 2058, the five FuWa got together again to chat.
Beibei: Let's talk about our nicknames, people respect me and call me "Master Bei"!
Huanhuan: People call me "Master Huan"!
Nini: People call me "Master Nini"!
YingYing: People call me "Master YingYing"!
JingJing stood up and said: "You guys talk, I have something to do, I'm going to go first. ......
29. Winter is here, I decided to keep the habit of taking a cold shower, but as I washed, I realized that I had returned to my childhood!
30. Celery walking, suddenly felt a pain in the stomach, and then he "blah" sound, you say he pulled out what ~~? That is the celery dung (diligence)! What color is celery dung?
Answer:yellow
Because : Qin Shi Huang (celery shit yellow)
31.There is a fat man ....
Jumped from the top of the 20th floor ....
The result was .....
Dead fat guy!!!!
32. Once upon a time there was a loaf of bread, and when it felt hungry, it ate itself.
Once upon a time there was a glass of beer, and when it felt thirsty, it drank itself....
Once upon a time there was a virgin, she felt tired and put herself to sleep ....
33.Who is the ancestor of man
It's a peanut because Peanut kernel~~~
34.Which of the ancient characters is considered white collar?
Mengmu Sanqian (Thousand)
35.Zhang Fei: "Old thief stop!"
Yan Yan: "Ring-eyed thief! Dismount and suffer death!"
Police car: "Listen two thieves~~~You have been surrounded~~~put down your weapons ......"
36.How did the ants die after falling from the Himalayan mountain?
Answer: starved to death. It takes a long time to float down because it's so light~...
37.The World's Most KB Diary
The old bear was about to write his diary when he realized that he had run out of journals, and he wanted to go out and buy another one to come back and write in, but it was already twelve o'clock at night. But he got on his bicycle and looked for it in the dark streets, and after a long time he finally found a bookstore that was still open and went in. There was a diary he liked very much, so he asked the owner how much it cost.
The owner said in a very low voice, "It's imported and priced at 70 yuan ......"
The old bear said, "That's expensive, but I only have 50 yuan to bring out. "
The boss said, "It's okay, I'll give you 50 yuan."
The old bear said happily, "Thank you, boss."
The boss said again in a very low and eerie voice, "When you buy it back, don't turn the last page, or something very KB will happen, don't blame me for not reminding you then!"
The old bear said, "Well, I know."
Old Bear got his diary home, he took the wrapping off and put it on the table in front of the window in his room. At this time he wanted to take a shower before coming out to write the diary ......
After the shower, the old bear found that the window in front of the desk was opened, and the wind blew the diary page by page open ...... almost to the last page, the old bear went up to stop, but it was already It was too late, the last page was still blown open by the wind
KB thing happened ...... only to see the old bear screamed, because he saw the last page wrote:
(Please scroll down)
.
................. Pull again...
.
.
.
.
Keep pulling ....
.
.
.
. Almost there, pull a little more...
.
.
.
.
.
That's it, a little bit of pull at the end...
.
.
.
.
The last page says - Pricing: $3
38. A peach was walking along the road and suddenly said!
A walnut was walking on the road, walking and suddenly said, my face is so thick!
A Coke can walks along the road, feels bored while walking, and suddenly says, "I'm so Coke!
A warmer walks along the road, helping passers-by in passing, and suddenly says as he walks along, I'm so warm!
A key walks on the road, walks and suddenly says, I am Qu Yuan ah! I will go up and down and seek locks ah!
A meter walks along the road and suddenly says, "I am a man of letters! I'm a man of letters," he said!
A tadpole walking on the road, walking met another tadpole, walking suddenly said, we are not QQ ah!
A hawthorn married walking on the road, walking suddenly said, my face is so red ah!
A hawthorn divorced walking on the road, walking suddenly said, my heart is so sour ah!
A hawthorn remarried walking on the road, walking and suddenly said, I have a son in my stomach ah!
A tea bag walking on the road, walking suddenly said, I want to be soaked ah!
A dumpling stuffing walks along the road and suddenly says, "I want to be wrapped up so badly!
A lighter was walking along the road and suddenly said, "My stomach is full of gas, I want to be angry!
A cockroach was walking along the road and suddenly said, "I'm strong"!
A thimble walks along the road and suddenly says, "I'm a thimble"!
An ice-cream walks down the road and suddenly says, "I'm cold"!
A spider walks down the road and suddenly says, "I still want to get down on the web"!
A fish walks along the road and suddenly says, "I like to dive every day"!
A Guan Yu walking on the road, walking suddenly said, I walk a thousand miles a single rider ah!
An eagle walking on the road, walking met the bear, walking suddenly said, we play eagle bear ah!
A compass walking on the road, walking suddenly said, how can I not find the north ah?
A worm was walking along the road and suddenly said, "Why can't I find my legs?
39. Once upon a time, there was a Simmons in the closed eyes, suddenly feel as if something is missing,
Thinking of hearing the doorbell ringing, open the door to see that it was the electric blanket has just returned from the appointment,
Simmons embraced the electric blanket and said:
Brother ~ ~ ~ you can come back, I am cold ~ ~ ~ ~
40. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in a mine.
The boss, an American, said to the German, "You're in good shape, you're in charge of the hard labor."
To the Frenchman, he said, "You say you're an engineer, and you're in charge of the plans for the mine."
And to the Japanese he said, "You are small. You are in charge of supplies."
Then every other week they started work.
A few days later the Germans and the French realized that the Japanese had disappeared, and after searching for them for a long time they decided to go back to work.
As the Germans began to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and
shouted:
"Surprise!"
41. There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together, and the penguin pulled the hairs off his body one by one, and when he was done, he told the polar bear, "It's so cold! "
The polar bear heard this, and also pulled the hairs off his body one by one, and turned to the penguin and said, "It sure is cold!"
42.There is a hide-and-seek society, their head of the group is still not found .........
43.Xiaohong asked: you stir the coffee with the right hand or the left hand
Small beauty said: the right hand
Small red said: oh, you're good oh, all You're not afraid of scalding, like me, I use a spoon.
44. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?
Because it's colder there. .....