In the early days when men and women get along, generally speaking, both sides will be very reserved and polite, but not very bold and reckless. However, when they get along to a certain stage, both sides' defenses are eliminated, and the problem comes.
The most typical performance is that your boyfriend will often mention the advantages of other women to you, for example, XX's clothes are fashionable and generous, and XX's makeup technology is really clever …
Wait, this is really the most harsh topic for you as the other person. Besides, why should he compare himself with other women? What a pity! But he ignored your anger and still talked about Kan Kan. ...
In fact, there is no need to attach too much importance to the words of these men. Why not listen to them? Never hurt each other's feelings because of this.
When a man talks about another woman, he just takes it as information for your conversation. He doesn't mean to criticize your clothes, temperament or makeup, nor does it mean that you should be a "she" type of woman. What he means is that I hope you can understand and confirm that your relationship is extraordinary. Maybe it's because he understands you and mistakenly thinks that what he provides is a topic suitable for women!
A man who doesn't know much about women's psychology, but is frank and straightforward, must have no malice. Perhaps being outspoken and honest is his loveliness. Compared with those playboys who see through women's psychology and say disgusting love words, but have no affection, this outspoken honest man is more worthy of your life.
Of course, if he deliberately talks about other women in front of you at the beginning of the relationship, then obviously, he is hinting at you: it is time for us to end. At this point, he does not treat each other with "courtesy". You can turn around and leave without bringing shame on yourself.
If he always wants to touch you on a date.
He wants to confirm your love for him.
Looking through newspapers and magazines, in those columns about life or emotion, I can always find some female readers asking, "Is it abnormal that he always wants to touch my body?" For these questions, I always feel puzzled: if I judge whether my boyfriend is sexually active or abnormal from these, isn't it a bit overkill?
Love experts say: "The greatest happiness brought by love is to hold the hand of the woman you love for the first time." Men always have the urge to touch their women's bodies, which is very normal behavior. To be exact, he wants to confirm her love for him. When he holds your hand and you gently hold him back, then he will have high confidence and belief in your love; On the other hand, if he reaches out and you throw it away, he will definitely take it as a sign of refusal.
Some girls are very sensitive and think that all men are perverts and all men are hungry ... I don't deny that some men don't respect themselves, but if you criticize their boyfriends' natural behavior from the perspective of moralists, then this love may never have a result. As long as both sides have the same will, you can accept it moderately when your boyfriend is in love.
If he emphasized the concept of "purity", it would have been out of date.
In fact, he sincerely hopes that his girlfriend is a virgin.
Many men confuse "masculinity" with philandering, and think that if they only touch their wives and women over half a year old, they will be ridiculed as "useless men".
However, they "only allow state officials to set fires". They ask a woman to keep absolute chastity before marriage, otherwise she will be criticized for "indiscretion", "easy virtue", "debauchery" or "frivolity". Even if the concept of sex is gradually opened, the relationship between the two sexes is not as conservative as before, but this concept of "female chastity" still exists.
Although the guardians who loudly call for "female chastity" have gradually lost power, ordinary men still have extremely conservative views on private life. If your boyfriend once emphasized to you that "that kind of nonsense about whether a girl is pure is out of date", you should never take it seriously.
Most men seem to have nothing to do when they know their girlfriends' "bad records", but in fact they are extremely disgusted and angry. Therefore, they must not treat this important event that concerns their happiness in life lightly. Even if he says "don't care" or "it doesn't matter", you should be vigilant and never tell your "innocent" past. Even if it is a clue, it is difficult to guarantee that the other party will not be upset. The destructive power of this matter can far exceed women's imagination.
Psychologically speaking, men attach too much importance to "female chastity", mainly because they are inherently uneasy and distrustful of women.
The same is true of those jealous xenophobic men. They are always worried that their lovers will "have an affair" or always suspect that they are easily tempted and slip.
The concept of "female chastity" has existed since ancient times and is deeply rooted. So it can't be solved by shouting "unfairness" and "inequality". You must not stay still for a moment and agree with his so-called fashionable "open" concept. Even if you find out later that he has a grudge, what can you do? !
If he often publishes "What do women know?"
He is seeking intense sexual stimulation.
Almost all men want to show their superiority to women, especially those men who lack self-belief. Some people say that this is the end of the road for men. Because they have actually lost their previous superior position, they are more willing to use every possible opportunity to express their long-hidden wishes.
I once knew a company boss who was very strict with his subordinates, but when he got home, he became a "model husband" who obeyed his wife.
Men who often threaten "what women know" and "women are fools" are mostly members of PTT (wife-fearing) clubs. This is not surprising.
So do men in love. If your man frequently mentions "what all women know", his heart is more full of love for you than contempt. Most men who make such remarks have no in-depth communication experience with women, so it is inevitable that they are a little flustered and timid about women, but subconsciously, he expects women to like him and get close to him.
This strong desire made him in a dilemma and timid. This often leads to his inability to make satisfactory progress after long-term contact with women. In order to vent the grievances and contradictions in his heart, he often says things like "what do women know" to balance his disappointment, which is probably a kind of "sour grapes" psychology.
In psychology, it is very normal to call men's psychology "rationalization" and "defensive motivation". If women don't understand the mystery and take their words seriously, it will definitely cause unnecessary misunderstanding. In fact, this kind of man is very dependent. Once you are allowed to enter his world, he will regard you as the center of life, and he will pour all his repressed emotions into you.
So is sexual desire. If men go against nature and deliberately stay away from women, they will accumulate too many desires in a very unnatural state, which can only be satisfied after strong stimulation.
If he often talks to you about sex,
-He hasn't turned on you yet.
There seems to be no man who doesn't like to talk about sex. Men are always interested in swearing. As long as a few men get together to chat in different places, the topic will naturally turn to this aspect.
From a psychological point of view, most men who like swearing can't really satisfy their sexual desire, but make up for their lack of desire through oral venting. Swearing is also the "lubricating oil" for men to communicate with men. However, when a man swears with the opposite sex, the meaning is very different.
A friend of mine once said to me, "That guy is really annoying. He always catches me and says disgusting things. I know he just wants to sleep with me! " "I don't know what is the relationship between her and her boyfriend, but I must point out that what she said' he has deep feelings for me' is just wishful thinking. Maybe he really wants to have sex with her, but if she considers getting married or further affirms her boyfriend's love for her. ...
Men get together to talk about the Yellow Sutra, which is probably caused by the desire for sexual desire, but if this is aimed at a woman, it is likely that they have no "sexual" ambition for that woman and just regard her as an ordinary friend.
In other words, in his eyes, this woman is no different from other same-sex friends. If he really loves her, or really has the idea of sexual desire, he usually tries to suppress it so as not to let the other person know. Even if there is a request, he will wrap a layer of sugar coating first and ask it politely.
Due to the gradual opening up of sexual concepts, many women are also very open and generous about sexual topics. Although they don't think much of men's dirty words on the surface, there are also many people who find them very interesting. Men, on the other hand, see through women's minds and speak without scruple. He doesn't think it's strange, and he would never want to have a super-friendship relationship with this woman.
However, if your boyfriend used to be informal and love to tell dirty jokes, he suddenly turned into a gentle man, which is the turning point from "friend" to "lover" and can also be said to be a symbol of budding desire.
If he calls you often
-his desire for sex is not satisfied.
With the development of modern communication equipment, telephone has become an important tool for lovers to express their feelings. Because it gives both parties a lot of freedom-for example, they can't see each other's embarrassed expressions, and girls can't see their boyfriends shaking their legs, sweating and smoking-the telephone is simply a savior for introverted men.
However, there is another situation, that is, if a man who used to talk on the phone rarely suddenly becomes diligent and keeps calling you, then he must have what psychology calls "urgent need". In the relationship between men and women, the "urgent need" that happens to men mostly refers to sexual desire. In other words, his sexual desire for you is obviously rising rapidly.
Most men will avoid showing strong desires, and they absolutely don't want the relationship they have worked so hard to build to be destroyed, especially introverted men, who are more cautious.
If you are in a state of high sexual dissatisfaction, even if you are on the phone, you dare not say "I want to talk to you …", but you can't find a euphemistic expression. In this way, you have to taste the pain of anxiety and desire alone. He subconsciously wants to talk to you and satisfy your desire, but after calling you, he can't tell you why, leaving you with the fact that he calls frequently, which makes you puzzled.
He always changes places.
-Making friends with the opposite sex because of sexual curiosity.
Can your boyfriend have a leisurely chat with you in the coffee shop or restaurant and enjoy every moment of you? Or take you somewhere else in a hurry before you finish a cup of coffee?
Many girls don't pay attention to these. In fact, it's as simple as that. You can easily understand his real intention to associate with you. Men who don't want to stay in one place for a long time are unstable men, mostly because of sexual desire.
People often say: don't guess a woman's mind, you never know what she is thinking at the moment. In fact, the same is true of men's minds.
Many friends talked about their confusion: "I really don't understand why he is like that?" "Is he telling the truth or joking?" ..... I think they are puzzled because they are at a loss and blind to their boyfriends and even the whole male psychology.
Men, like women, are used to hiding their thoughts and desires, and the positioning of social roles makes them even better than women in this respect. They are just experts in disguise. It is no exaggeration to describe them with "duplicity" or "duplicity".
Do you know his thoughts and wishes? What does he think of you and the world around him?
"Get to the bottom of it", and after understanding his desires, you will say, "Yes, that's it!" At that time, you will definitely win and be calm.
When he eagerly asked about your past
He wants to take everything for himself.
I remember Zhao Chuanzeng singing "I don't care about the past, I will wait for you here at any time ..."
Can you believe it? In fact, I think this is more like a "female manifesto"-since you love a man, why care about his past? The burning fire of love is the most important thing at the moment. However, a man's heart is not so simple. Once a man likes a woman, even if it is the past history of the other person, he must find out.
Men's strong possessiveness determines this. He loves that woman, so he wants to possess her completely and alone, and even ask her about her past in detail, otherwise he will not be satisfied.
Men's pursuit of each other's past love affairs will often arouse their antipathy, but for those conservative men, they will never give up until they reach their goals.
If your boyfriend is suddenly interested in your past and keeps asking questions, there are generally three motives: first, he wants to enjoy all your secrets and privacy, which can be called a "declaration of marriage proposal"; The second possibility is that he has confirmed his love for you and hopes to deepen the relationship between them, which can be regarded as a "declaration of courtship"; The third motive may be that he has doubts about you, and there is a gap between the two. If your past is not enough to dispel his doubts, it will become a "farewell declaration" to break up with you.
As for the boyfriend's motivation, it depends on the specific situation.
If your relationship has always been strong and close, then he suddenly expressed curiosity about your past, then congratulations, your situation comes first.
A man's strong desire for exclusivity will even affect his marriage. He will never let go unless he knows your past like the back of his hand. In fact, his original intention is just to know more about the woman he loves and get rid of his doubts and curiosity. So, you might as well relax and tell the original story that you can "publish" in the past to comfort his heart. Only in this way can the sky between them be clear again.
Some people may insist that men have no right to ask about my past. In fact, this is unreasonably biased towards women. Nowadays, men don't care about anything but love, but care about everything because of love. In this regard, women should have a brand-new cognition, and must not be angry at the moment and ruin their immediate happiness.
Promote communication with women.
Psychologically, there is an "emotional variant personality". They are changeable and can't concentrate on something and stay in a certain place. He often flies into a rage for a little thing; I laughed my head off just now, and now I'm furious ... because the man with emotional variation has poor self-control, I can't control my feelings. Their biggest shortcoming is that they are not good at speculating other people's moods and seldom care about others. Therefore, they often do whatever they want, such as suddenly interrupting a job before it is finished and doing another irrelevant thing; I asked you a question, but before you answered, he started talking about other topics himself. ...
From a woman's point of view, I think this is the most difficult type to grasp. No matter who he is, it is impossible to predict what fallacies or shocking actions he will make in an instant. But on the whole, such people are very smart and artistic, so they can often coax women into losing their heads.
In terms of sexual performance, men with emotional variation are also very different. They frankly express their "sexual desire" to any woman, and often satisfy their sexual desire without considering the time and place at all, because they can't control their feelings and desires. At the same time, they are particularly curious about sex.
So there are many examples of them interacting with women in order to satisfy their sexual desire. They often use beautiful words and sentences to whitewash their original intentions, while women often give in to his ingenious skills.