I've accepted myself and reconciled with the inner me that wanted a say.
Back in '16, before I was even in a relationship, I posted this ticket circle.
When we begin to enjoy living alone, begin to know how to read, work, eat, watch a movie, or adhere to some small hobbies to fill their own lives, rather than a way to crowd out loneliness in another person, in order to truly feel the comfort and freedom of life, will not be in the face of the loved ones, trying to use the loneliness, pay to impress each other, binding each other, and should be each other! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Unfortunately, I was not able to do that. When it comes to relationships, my sense of trust is too heavy, my sense of need is too strong. I thought there was love, but it was not. Reality is so much stronger than love.
So I longed for possession, hogging all his time, spending all my time waiting for his messages and replying to his messages. But I neglected to realize that such love is too heavy for me to carry and too tiring.
Sometimes, the more we know about a person, the more we realize we don't know the person. Including ourselves.
In fact, in a relationship, it's four people getting along, me, the other person, the other person in my imagination and the other person in his or her imagination. Sometimes we project so much goodness onto the imaginary other person that we are disappointed when the real person doesn't deliver. But in fact, the other person will also be disappointed for those of us who do not fulfill his expectations.
When we continue to struggle with why we pay all the other side or not cherish, in fact, we ignore the question, we pay when it is to please each other or to meet their own? More often than not, it is to satisfy ourselves, to satisfy ourselves with a sense of control of the power to love others, so that we stand on the moral high ground, high and mighty, saying you see how selfless I am. Actually no, it's selfishness!
Many times, it is only appropriate to really see the other person's needs and respond to them. It's like not being able to have the other person want oranges and you're shoving all your apples down his throat and forcing him to be grateful. That's getting down on your knees and moving yourself!
Giving each other space is something that is easy to say but hard to do. I have a friend who is a national second-grade actress, a particularly good dancer and a beautiful person. I thought such a girl must have enjoyed all the tolerance and consideration in love, but I didn't know until yesterday that she was so neurotic that she used to hug her phone after work and stare at her boyfriend's WeChat steps, guessing what he was doing and why he wasn't replying to her messages through the number of steps.
I laughed when she said that, and I suddenly thought, she's as ridiculous as I am watching Antwerp.
But luckily, later they both felt unhappy in the relationship, so they had long talks all night and the conflicts and misunderstandings gradually cleared up.
Giving each other space is also giving yourself space, so that you can stop the endless self-motivated pay, go out with friends to see a movie and eat, or nest in bed on a rainy day to watch a movie, or, just cover up the blanket and get a good night's sleep. The best way to love yourself is to be yourself, and let yourself be enriched.
What do you have to say about the past? One highly-liked answer was enlightening.
I once brewed myself into a jug of wine, and the visitor knocked it over and spilled half of it, so I righted the jug and filled it up again. I'm looking forward to sharing it with another person, the half that spilled, to honor me once sizzling, but also wish me to sail away since then.
In fact, psychology also recognizes the reincarnation of fate, character determines the fate of this sentence is more than a chicken soup. Only by jumping out of the inertia of one's own thinking and tearing down the walls in one's thinking can one truly break down the old me and mold the new me.
What the injury taught me is nothing more than letting go of my high expectations of others and putting the right to be good to myself, to be happy and fulfilled back into my own hands. To give myself the power to explore the unknowns of the world and enjoy the beauty of life as well.
Destiny will really be fair, you think you pay, lost like water far away, but the river of destiny will eventually turn, energy conservation, there will be other people in the name of friends to keep beside you, ten years as one day to give you the longest confession, accompanied by you through every darkness, but never ask you to share the light a little bit to him. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty and get out of the way, and then you'll be able to get out of the way.
Those who have lost themselves and constantly compressed their silly girls ah, you have to know, you are the world's unique top good top good girl. Don't rush to give your heart to someone just because they're a little bit nicer to you, because you're really nice and don't need to beg to be loved.
But always keep in mind that it is worth it to pay, to pay without regret, to separate from the blessing. So far I told myself is also, do not because of a moment two people get along with the problem will no longer believe in love, think love is just so. In fact, as Shu Ting wrote in "Goddess Peak", "Instead of exhibiting on the cliff for a thousand years, I would rather cry bitterly on my lover's shoulder for one night."
May we all learn to grow in our hurt and pain, and meet all the beauty of the unknown with a better version of ourselves. Expect it like love will come tomorrow, and live like it will never come.
I'm Shishi, keep reflecting, keep growing, I'm off to practice~potato white~meow~