Text | vilen
"In April, the world is full of flowers, and the mountain temple is full of peach blossoms." Somehow, I thought of this poem. Perhaps, it can't be said that it is inexplicable, because April did come to an end, and I also noticed it. Even if the flowers are affectionately called out in spring, the wheat straw will not go far with the back of the spring girl: the pink rose in May, the white gardenia on the tree, the honeysuckle on the vine and the potted rose are all lined up and ready to go. Every season has its own unique fragrance, just like our life, and every age group has its own charm.
Spring ~
I often recall the past, but I feel melancholy.
Flowers bloom and fall like love. Once you miss it, it's not the same flower. It is for this reason that Rene Liu's "Later, There was Milk Tea" came into being.
"Then I finally learned how to love.
It's a pity that you have already disappeared into the sea of people.
Finally, I understood in tears.
Some people are gone once they miss it.
……"
The first time I heard about it was in high school. When I was eighteen or nineteen, I had nothing to worry about, but later I liked to moan and listen.
Which girl doesn't love spring? The girl with a white skirt and a long shawl looks like autumn water, and only the vigorous figure galloping on the basketball court is reflected. A little acacia, like apricot flowers, is silent and affectionate, like spring rain.
After three years as a classmate, I finally became a memorable girl, but in the first half of someone's confession, I had withdrawn my pure love for him, so it was not me who regretted it after all! So, what reason is there to force yourself to borrow a song to pretend to be drunk?
The taste of first love, whether unrequited love or unrequited love, is it really unforgettable because of this initial word?
I suddenly remembered some poems.
"You gave birth to me, I gave birth to you.
You hate me for being late, and I hate you for being early.
You were born before I was born, and I was old when I was born.
Hate is not born at the same time. Hello every day.
Live before you are born, and be old when you are born.
I am far away from you, and you are far away from me.
Live before you are born, and be old when you are born.
Become a butterfly, look for flowers every night and live in the grass. "
The poem reveals the regret of being born in different times, but even if you are born at the same time, if you can't fall in love at the same time, the ending may be regrettable.
Then what happened? Later, we lost contact and disappeared into the vast sea of people. Later, I happened to see his recent photo. He is no longer a handsome and sunny boy in my mind, and I am no longer young and beautiful. The spring breeze is a little gentle, so later, we have no future.
Summer ~
After studying hard at the cold window for ten years, I finally spread my wings and flew high. I think that if I realize my dream of making money freely when I grow up, I can do a great job in the vast world; I thought that the society would be full of vitality everywhere, full of vitality everywhere, would release goodwill without stint, and would warmly extend its arms to comfort the rookie who just entered the workplace; I think that this weed in my hometown can bloom the warmest summer flowers in the bustling city; I think ...
No, the reality is not exactly what I imagined.
Although I have the opportunity to earn money freely, I still can't buy whatever I want, because I have to send the bulk of my salary home; Although I have the opportunity to make money freely, it is not easy to make money. As a grass-roots employee, the normal working hours are from 8 am to 8 pm, and I am in the workshop all day, rotating like a machine. How can I have leisure to light the colorful sparks of life? Although this society encourages vitality, it also exudes discomfort. Those who are addicted to slot machines, landlords and golden flowers all day long regard their hard-earned tickets as running water. Even though there are many virtuous and friendly people in this society, there are also people who cheat or profiteer for their own selfish interests, and there are also people who practice the dignity of their subordinates arbitrarily because of the power of sesame seeds.
In the early summer of my life, I was not as gorgeous as a flower. Slow personality, inarticulate, always curled up in the social corner, watching colleagues laugh and get together. I am so lost and unfriendly to myself: I have no goal in life and can't read my heart.
I don't know how many detours I've taken and how much I've tasted, but I'm a little closer to what I once hoped. The world is still the same, and so are people. The reason why I feel different is because my cognition is different. We are treated differently because we are different from others.
If you want it, fight for it yourself. The road of life needs to be explored.
Life is not all beautiful, everyone's life is doomed to trudge and taste the ups and downs. My heart yearned for a gorgeous rose, but I got a slightly bitter wild rose.
Autumn ~
Stumbling all the way to middle age, at this moment, Dashan, who is burdened with mortgage education, thinks of the old and the young, afraid to relax, afraid of any accidents, so he works hard and finds time to exercise.
When people reach middle age, they have long recognized a truth-no matter what happens and what problems they face, they will eventually break through the barriers to blame, only themselves.
Therefore, they no longer expect anyone, make themselves like Iron Man, and at the same time close the window in their hearts, no longer expose their true injuries to others at will, and learn to pretend to be strong. Accustomed to hiding in the corner of the night, crying and licking silently? Wound, remove carrion bit by bit, slowly heal and regenerate in pain. ...
Middle-aged you, who are working hard for your life, have grasped everything that fate throws at you, whether it is warm spring or cold winter, whether it is gentle wind and drizzle, whether it is blooming or falling. When you are happy, you hug with your hands; Those who are in pain will not escape. You may be confused about the road ahead, but you always have a general direction in your heart, which becomes clearer and clearer as time goes by.
Middle-aged you, lonely you!
Middle-aged you, firm you!
When you reach middle age, you always try to find a bright you!
Middle age is the most lonely, tiring and stressful stage in life; Middle age is also the most reflective, precipitating and enlightening stage in a person's life.
Looking back at the road, I can't help laughing at myself. I used to regard wealth as the only factor that determines happiness, so I went round and round. I lost my way and mistakenly took the wrong road as the right one. Perhaps this is the only way for ordinary people to wake up. The so-called practice is inseparable from life, which is probably the case.
When people reach middle age, they gradually realize that happiness is not only related to wealth, but also related to mentality, family harmony, good health, sincere friendship and pure emotions. Of course, our survival is inseparable from the necessary material conditions, but after the basic survival is solved, right? Grasping more money means grasping more happiness.
Money can buy top skin care products, but it can't buy old faces; Money can buy medicine, but not health; Money can buy happiness, but it cannot buy happiness.
Money is not everything!
After the concept was revised, I began to reflect and began to "break away". Flashy socializing, staying away; Bad habits, abandon; Wrong idea, cut off. Always look inward and connect with your heart.
Teacher Lin Qingxuan read these two sentences in the Upanishads:
"When a person reaches the age of 30, he should spend all his time on consciousness."
"At the age of 30, if you don't spend all your time on enlightenment, you will step on the road to death!"
At the moment, Mr. Lin was surprised. Later, he put down his existing fame and fortune, gave up his secular pursuit and turned to practice in the mountains. Go for ten years.
I, the mother of a young child, can't be as bold as Mr. Lin, and I don't have his courage. I can only walk in the world of mortals in Zaixi. Reading books from time to time, attending book clubs from time to time, every concentration, every * * * reading, all help to clear your mind and see nature clearly. The washed heart is light, soft and clear, just like a soft cloud floating in the sky and a dandelion floating in Yuan Ye.
If you can settle down in practice, you will definitely make qualitative progress in cognition and cultivation. However, after all, he is an ignorant ordinary person, and his heart is always vacillating, just like the rows of waves, sometimes slipping on the beach and sometimes retreating into the sea, unable to live in a specific environment. Nevertheless, I am glad that I can be pulled out after 30 years. Although I will still be confused, I will not blindly pursue fame and fortune. I learned to vent myself, learn to precipitate myself, learn to be close to my heart, and no longer live in the eyes of others. Sometimes I can't help laughing when I think of my previous ambitions (fame and fortune). I'm going to let go of myself, let go and redefine my priorities. From now on, I will try to clean the dirt in my heart and try to taste the tranquility and beauty brought by "useless" things, instead of blindly pursuing "useful".
I didn't understand before that colorful chrysanthemums are colorful and the leaves are colorful. Why elegant? Today and tomorrow, chrysanthemum is elegant, not because it is not beautiful, but because it is indisputable that indifference is the beauty of elegance.
All laws are born of reason, and all laws are destroyed by reason. The realization of dreams depends not only on the main cause, but also on the secondary cause.
Winter ~
"There are flowers in spring, months in autumn, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. If you don't mind your own business, this is a good time in life. This poem by Zen master Huikai of Wumen reveals the correct view that the environment is born of the mind. If we can relax, no matter how the seasons alternate, no matter how the years change, we should be able to experience the beauty of ordinary days.
The world of mortals, misty rain, life, come to this world, everyone shoulders their own responsibilities, there are bumps to trudge. When I was a student, students were tired of learning and were not deeply involved in the world, so although they had leisure occasionally, they could not enjoy it well, and children who were not familiar with the world could not understand what leisure was. In youth and middle age, people are busy making a living, satisfying material desires and having little leisure. The only people who know how to enjoy leisure and have the conditions to enjoy leisure are the old people who have experienced Qian Fan. Even though time and tide wait for no man, the body has added problems, the appearance has wrinkled, and the children have grown up, the parents who have worked hard for most of their lives can finally unload the heavy responsibility on their shoulders. At this moment, if we can uphold the mentality that children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, we can naturally savor this leisure.
Living in the city, reading and practicing calligraphy in my spare time, waiting for flowers and grass, dancing in square dance and hiking; Living in the countryside, I raised a group of chickens and ducks, planted several ridges of miscellaneous vegetables and planted several fruit trees. Flowers bloom in front of the courtyard in spring, frogs croak in summer, rice and fruit in autumn and relatives and friends in winter.
Days, very happy!
If you can't see through it, you always regard your child and yourself as one. You are worried about your child's marriage, your child's children and your future, so you should continue to undertake and give up this leisure.
Same situation, different heart, different situation.
When people are old, it is inevitable to talk about life and death. Death, like impermanence, is a neutral word, so you don't have to smell it and avoid it. Life is death, and from the moment we come into this world, it is decided that we will eventually face it. Since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to face it calmly. Moreover, if you can leave quietly at the right time, it will not involve your family and bring pain, and it will not be a bad thing.
In the long river of life without a beginning, we need to know that the end of one life is actually the beginning of another life, with origin, destiny, emptiness and no self. Don't be greedy.
When people get old, they will go through many vicissitudes. At that time, you will eat most of the bitterness you have eaten and most of the robbery you have eaten. Because you know the bitter taste, you will cherish the sweetness more and be good at discovering sweetness from trivial days. Because I have experienced a lot of wind and rain, my mind has been precipitated in the polishing of the years. I know how to love, let go, be open-minded, not afraid of frost and snow, just like plum blossoms blooming in the cold.
As far as I am concerned, winter is still early, so the idea of winter can be described as an armchair strategist. I only hope that after experiencing lush spring, lost summer and introspective autumn, I can step into the clear winter step by step through awareness, reflection, correction and understanding. At that time, I hoped that mountains would still be mountains and water would still be water.
Drafted in late April 2022.
Vilen's prose