What's it like to not dream for ten years? The quality of sleep is too good.
I know a sister in a poetry group who has been going to Japan for more than twenty years.
I know a sister in the Poetry Group who has been going to Japan for more than twenty years. This time we went to Japan, and she was the tour guide, and even though it was our first time to meet each other, we didn't have any unfamiliar feeling.
My sister was divorced at the age of 35, and was hurt badly. Since then, she has lost her confidence in Chinese men, and she either doesn't look for them, or she looks for foreign men. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time before I realized that I was in the middle of a long journey.
A friend introduced her to a 61-year-old Japanese man, who traveled to China to see her, felt more satisfied, and agreed to marry. She then quit her job and went to Japan. I don't know why, but later the Japanese man backed out, saying he was too old to be suitable. At that time, she stayed at a friend's house, three-month tourist visa, can not go out to work, no financial resources, relatives and friends know that she came to Japan to get married, not to mention that she cut off all the back roads, how to go back? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that.
At that time, the situation, in any case, have to find someone to marry, otherwise it will not stay. The first time I saw this, I was introduced to a single Japanese man who was four years older than her, and I married him within a week of meeting him. This man was opening a small restaurant, in urgent need of labor, plus busy all year round to open the store, there is no time to fall in love, and now in one fell swoop, labor, wife are solved.
After the marriage, she has been in the store to help, no salary, only pocket money, buy things by invoice reimbursement. For such a marriage, each other's hearts understand that there is no emotional foundation, in the end, how far can go ...... So, the man has always been wary, until ten years later, for him to give birth to two children, she was 48 years old, he promised to help her apply for Japanese citizenship.
Later, because of the economic downturn in Japan, their family failed to invest in a new store, owed a large amount of debt, and the mortgage, plus the pressure of raising two children, an elderly, she had to start a long working life.
She has been working two jobs for many years, and the journey to work is far, and she has to transfer several times, spending more than two hours. During the day, a worker works for five hours, and after taking a shower and lying on the table to sleep for a while, she then goes to another part-time job, where she works night shifts, and she can rest for one and a half hours for the whole night, and works for five days in a week, and this is the way she rotates, and she can't go to bed for five days. Weekend to home, fell asleep, woke up, often found in the hands of the pinch a piece of meat did not finish, a cup of wine on the table did not finish drinking ...... twelve years, she is either working, or on the way to work. However, the family economic "deficit" has not yet turned "blue", she said, soon, and then insist on a little.
People feel strange, sister so tired, often stay up late at night physical work, and did not let her look how haggard, and no resentment, very plain. She said, life is so, life has no assumptions, shooting arrows without turning back, one step wrong step wrong, I pay the price for their own choices, do not want to, eat, work, tired to sleep.
Most Chinese old ladies of this age are dancing in the square, or at home with their children, enjoying a stable old age. Of course, the atmosphere of Japanese society is such that many old people are working, but partly to prove their usefulness, and partly still forced by life. How can my sister live without a part-time job when she can only get a retirement salary equivalent to RMB 500 now because she has never paid into a pension? That home is also just a foster home for her, paying money to go home every month. Although her children have become self-supporting, she can't seem to find a reason to stop, and no one has ever said to her, "You can cut back on some of your workload. She's getting older and weaker. What if she can't do it anymore? When the night shift comes out, she often finds a seat in the public **** area of the mall, buys a bit of cooked food, plus a can of beer, and quietly takes a sip, and at that moment, she feels exceptionally satisfied.
Last night after the breakup, to her message, did not receive a reply, today at noon replied: "Good morning, last night after arriving at home after the bath that is asleep, to you to send a message, look at it, only to write a word: to ..... There is no following, too sleepy, just fell asleep ......" She talked to me about a detail, she said, "I can't lie down to sleep now, because once I lie down, I can't get up the next day, my body is like falling apart, I have to spin around on the bed, let myself curl up first, then slowly sit up.... and then slowly sit up...at the very least toss and turn for ten minutes, and from then on, I don't lie down to sleep, I always recline, so that it's easy to get up."
Night shift out of her, carrying a large backpack, can not see how much fatigue, white skin color, look stable, appearance has completely become a Japanese woman. She speaks like a little girl, heartless and frank, facing the reality, not complaining, not anxious, resigned to fate!
I don't know who talked about dreams, she suddenly said, "I haven't dreamed for ten years." I looked at her in shock, ten years without dreaming, what concept is this? Even the strength to dream is gone, how tired it should be! She couldn't see the flowers blooming in the yard, she couldn't see how her children grew up, she couldn't communicate freely with her family, and she didn't have the time to look at the outside world, in her spare time she would write poems, and the woman who doesn't dream, finds her dreams in her poems.
She said calmly, at least I can still earn my own living, at least I have freedom, which is also a kind of happiness! What else can I do? I've thought it through, be kind to yourself, anyway, I have a place to live, a bite to eat, won't starve to death on the streets, that's good.
In the night, looking at her far away back, I did not give birth to sympathy, nor pity, just a slight sense of sadness. Everyone alive is not easy, just people have a variety of living methods, and then bitter days can find fun, such as today's encounter, this is life.