Half a life, a lot of words are hidden in white hair.
Feet in memory, meaty mouth.
Give him love all his life just for his parents.
Where has all the time gone? You get old without feeling it.
Having children, children cry and laugh all their lives.
Where is the time? I spent it before I could see your eyes clearly
Every day's rice, oil and salt will only wrinkle into a ball in the blink of an eye.
I remember singing this song in the 20 15 "Little Mom" series. Look at the story inside. It was the year my mother died. I forgot a lot of the plot in the film, except that the heroine's mother died and I played this song. I cried when I listened, and I was very sad. Just like the lyrics, I gave birth to a child and raised my daughter all my life. Everyone is still thinking about their children and their future life. I remember my mother was ill for more than four years until she died. Although I know that she has advanced lung cancer, I also know that she will leave me sooner or later, and I am psychologically prepared. But that day, I couldn't accept it in my heart. Facing this fact, I thought about how I would live in my next life after my mother died, but every time I remembered it, I would be interrupted and really wanted a miracle. But my mother left me anyway.
After the earthquake in 2008, my mother was in poor health. The first symptom is repeated cold and cough for a month, and it has not improved. I said it was not good. I have to go to the hospital to do a CT scan of her lungs to see if there is inflammation in her lungs. I ended up in a community hospital. I said there was a shadow, but I couldn't say what it was. I went to a bigger hospital and went to Huaxi, but I didn't find out why. The second time, I spent money and coughed as usual. Finally, I went to the cancer hospital and met an expert. Apart from cysts, I suggest surgery, but my mother doesn't want to do it. First, she has been in poor health and is afraid of accidents during the operation. Second, I just got married and didn't have children. She has not yet become a grandmother. The older generation thinks that life will be perfect if they can see their children's next generation. Later, experts said that my mother chose not to have surgery.
20 10, the daughter will be rechecked when she is born, saying that the shadow is a little enlarged. I told my mother, why don't you have an operation, rest for about 1 year, and take good care of your granddaughter, and my mother agreed. The result is far from the reality. I took it for a biopsy after the operation. The doctor said it was in the middle and late stage of lung cancer, and one side was removed. I couldn't believe it when I heard the news. I thought it was a cyst. How did it become lung cancer? When I hear the word cancer, I will associate it with the countdown to life, which is mental torture for cancer patients, fear of death, and the same for relatives. But my mother was optimistic and said my life was worth it. My mother has changed in the past two years. Playing mahjong, traveling with the old association, spending money on clothes, enriching myself every day and learning to wear light makeup. My mother described these two years as the happiest. She put it down and lived the life she wanted.
From 20 10 to 20 15, my mother experienced radiotherapy and chemotherapy for more than four years, and her condition recurred, and she was treated with radiotherapy and chemotherapy again and again. At the end of cancer, she lost all her hair, bought a wig, and said optimistically that she finally didn't have to comb her hair. This hospital is hospitalized two or three times a year. The attending doctor joked that you were still alive, her mother said with a smile. More than 65,438+00 people had surgery with their mothers at the same time. Some died in half a year, and some 1 died for many years but not more than two years, leaving her alone. Finally, cancer cells spread all over the body, and life entered the countdown. My mother said that people are doomed to die, just the difference between early death and late death. These four years have also been earned, but sometimes my mother will complain that heaven is unfair, especially when radiotherapy and chemotherapy are used. I feel uncomfortable and can't sleep well, but I will be fine when I can eat. At that time, my mother often said, I don't know what health is better than not getting sick.
Looking back on my mother's life, I worked hard for most of my life and married a husband who didn't love me, which was a bit male chauvinistic. I always want to give my husband enough face and worry about everything. I lived for this family, for my husband and children, until I was ill for several years. Living a life I like, I have done many things I dare not try, such as making up, dancing, wearing skirts and traveling. I have not been defeated by the disease, but I have been struggling. Even at the end of my life, I made a brave choice, took photos and took a cemetery, including the clothes I wore after my death, how to wear them and so on. I met the person I wanted to see, ate the roast duck I wanted, and said what I wanted to say. Although I was tortured by illness, I was always optimistic. I wrote so much today as a souvenir, mom.