Mr. Feng Zikai's cartoon "Open Mind" with a small poem has these two lines:
Since there is no place to hide, it is better to be silly and happy; since there is no place to escape, it is better to be joyful.
This is not the spiritual triumph of AQ, but a smart philosophy of life. It allows us to understand that success or failure, right and wrong, is not the meaning of life, joy is.
Think about it, the human life, full of counting but more than 30,000 days. During the period, to face the pressure of the school, the competition in the workplace, the responsibility of the family, there are many unexpected difficulties and setbacks, to be able to go all the way down, it has not been easy, and then self-seeking trouble, worry too much, it is really more than worth it.
Life is not easy, we have to learn to coax themselves happy.
Instead of waiting for others to coax you to be happy as well as coax yourself
Many years ago, in a well-known female writer's microblogging, I have seen a dialogue between her and a young lady -
The lady asked the female writer: "In the past when we were in love, he always loved to buy me flowers, similar to Valentine's Day, Women's Day, Memorial Day and other festivals he has never stopped, but now we have been married for only three years, he often forgets to think about it, think about it and make people angry, what do you think about it?"
"Then buy them yourself!" The writer replied briskly.
Yes, buy yourself flowers! Why didn't I think of that? The writer's words enlightened me.
Buy your own flowers and wear them yourself.
When we were young, we always unconsciously put the key to our happiness in other people's hands. Not to mention a bouquet of flowers, is a complimentary action, a look of encouragement, and even an unintentional sentence of praise, will make us happy half a day.
But as I grow older, I gradually understand that life in the world, everyone has their own homework to do, have their own face problems and pressure:
Children, to face the pressure of school, every step forward, are highly competitive;
Partners, to face the pressure of the workplace, a variety of careful and afraid of their own mistakes were replaced by others;
Everyone's own things have not been sorted out, there is no time and energy to take into account the joys and sorrows of others.
So, instead of waiting for others to coax you to be happy, it would be better to coax yourself; instead of waiting for others to love you, it would be better to put the power of happiness firmly in their own hands and learn to love themselves.
As the saying goes:
To try to be your own sun, no need to rely on who's light.
That way you will warm yourself and shine for yourself on cloudy days, in moments when no one else has time for you.
First coax yourself to be happy life will make you happy
This year, when I went to the beach house to live, I met the neighborhood a solitary aunt Zhang.
Auntie Zhang is 73 years old this year, will play tai chi, but also love to dance, is a happy old lady.
Time slowly know, Auntie Zhang young husband, a person to bring up his son. I didn't realize that my son had preceded her, leaving her with the sadness of being sent to the dark side, and left her with no one to turn to.
In the beginning, she could not figure out why fate would be so unfair to her.
One time, she was walking on the road, a little girl accidentally touched her, the little girl cried out in fear, looked up at her, and then backed up two steps and ran away.
She went home and looked in the mirror, and realized that she was dressed all in black, with a pale, cold face that was indeed chilling. No wonder the world had treated her coldly from morning to night, and no one had given her a good face. How sad it would be if her son knew!
After that, she started to pull herself together.
She paid attention to the three meals a day, tried to participate in community activities, and made herself healthy and healthy.
She had more friends, and her life became more lively, and even the people on the road didn't give her the cold shoulder anymore.
The days became less difficult.
Whether it's the cold shoulder of others or the injustice of fate, if life goes on, pain doesn't help.
If you can't make yourself happy, then you won't be able to make the people around you happy, and the happiness that life gives you will be much less.
To break this vicious circle, you have to start by making yourself happy.
We can only love the world by ourselves if we are happy with ourselves first.
It's hard to ask the world to be gentle with someone who can't even love themselves or their family!
So, first of all, please yourself, make yourself happy. Only when you are happy, you will be able to spread this happiness to the people around you, and you will be able to gain more happiness.
Coaxing yourself to be happy is a kind of ability, but also a choice
When it comes to being happy, a lot of people may think of money.
I remember a popular phrase called "what to solve the problem, only rich", said the current mentality of many people.
Is it really true that only a lot of money is happy? I don't think so.
A while ago, the hit TV show "Thirty Only", at the end of each episode, there will be a pancake stall couple of shots.
In a big city like Shanghai, they are like a drop of water in the sea, so ordinary that there is no echo. But it illustrates another kind of full and warm life, and makes the audience reap the benefits of being touched.
In their eyes, happiness is actually very simple, selling one more scallion pancake every day is satisfying.
The mother makes a scallion pancake and occasionally watches her son do his homework;
The husband goes to his wife's pancake stand at the end of the day to help her close up the stand, and then the family returns home;
The child puts together a home with a band-aid and uses his mother's woolen ball as a toy, entertaining himself for half a day.
Perhaps to the rich, the pancake-stand family of three had a pitiful life, getting up early and working hard, but they were happier than any of the show's protagonists.
Yes, money can determine the quality and height of a family's life, but it can't solve the temperature of a family. It's good to have money, but you can make yourself happy without it, and you can live an ordinary life, and that's what makes you really rich.
It's true that being happy has a lot to do with many external factors, but sometimes, when external conditions can't be changed, we have to learn to look inward and change our state of mind.
It is said: "The heart wide since the wide, worry less happy since more."
The heart is wide, the world is naturally wide; worry less, happy naturally more.
Coax yourself to be happy, is a kind of ability, but also a choice.
The rest of our lives are not long, we have to learn to coax ourselves to be happy
There is a classic line in the TVB drama:
"To be a human being, the most important thing is to be happy."
Humans are lonely by nature, so learn to amuse yourself.
To amuse yourself is actually very simple. Tasting a cup of tea, buy a bouquet of flowers, listen to a song, to a trip ...... will make the original gloomy mood become bright, to their boring life add some surprises.
If you feel that the days are boring, let yourself become interesting; if you feel that life is too bitter, add some sugar to it yourself.
The joy of adulthood is given by oneself.
For the rest of your life, may you:
Strive hard and pursue your dreams; also be happy and joyful, and be your own ferryman.
Author's introduction: Yunshu, a writer, likes to fly in the text, and strive to cultivate, just to meet a better self.