(a) the origin
17 years old, on the second year of high school they secretly went to the town of the photo studio to take a group photo, a person a photo of her thin face covered with a sweet smile, just shoulder black hair naturally scattered, large almond eyes shyly looking ahead, lips pursed, upward cocked, a broken flowery Blue cloth dress, more and more set off her clean, bright. And he shaved very short hair, so that his bright face more clear eyebrows up, a cultural shirt worn on his well-developed body, not dried up and down, but seem a few minutes of casual teenager's wind hair intention.
He was a full head taller than her, and she leaned her head slightly on his shoulder, while he put his right hand behind her, not over her waist, but just behind her, as if blocking everything.
Memory is like a frame on this photo, they did not say love to each other, just in the heart are aware that no one can replace each other in the heart of the position.
His name is Gu Jing Cheng, her name is Xia Xiaoyu, she lives in the town, and he lives not far from the village.
From when we began to recognize, probably from that one rainy day. That day, autumn quiet afternoon school suddenly panicked, a junior high school girl suddenly foaming at the mouth lying on the ground, most of the students scattered, there are bold, flexible quickly run to find the teacher, the other is far away from the watch, with a hand to cover the nose, only Gu Jingcheng ran over quickly, pulling on the sleeve wrapped fingers hastily stuffed into her mouth, close to the people seem to hear that the girls are tightly Biting, like the sound of chewing bones, and Xia Xiaoyu is a student in the neighboring class, that day because of the rain, so did not go home to eat, but caught up with this scene.
The school doctor rushed to the emergency treatment, a group of adults took away the girl, a group of stunned students three to five, four to five a bunch of discussion, the campus is back to calm, but Xia Xiaoyu stood outside the window of Gu Jingcheng's classroom, and saw Gu Jingcheng's hands deep blood marks.
Xia Xiaoyu took out the band-aid she had brought with her, and put it on the table in front of Gu Jingcheng, without saying a word, looked y at him, and left, and Gu Jingcheng, who had just come to his senses, only glanced hurriedly at the girl who had brought the band-aid with her, with a refreshing ponytail, and a pair of almond-shaped eyes mildly under a shy face.
Xia Xiaoyu always carries band-aids with her, because she always has a rescue object, kitten ah, puppy and so on, because her father who is a doctor sometimes gives others a visit, she is always positively playing the hand, maybe these became habits. Gu Jingcheng reason why the face of a girl with a crohn's seizure so calm, but brave, that is because he has a mother with the same symptoms, he has long been accustomed to face life.
He and she just met, everything seems to have begun, but how can predict the future?
Just, there is no such beginning, then how can the story happen later?
(2) Getting Together
"Mom, you eat meat." Looking at her five-year-old son's lovely and understanding face, Xia Xiaoyu's tears swallowed hard before not flowing out, since she resolved to give birth to him, she secretly swore in her heart, no matter what, she has to be strong and smile in front of the child, because it is she who brought him to this world, all the wrong or right should be borne by herself.
"Good Beibei, mom thank you, come on, let's eat together, eat this green bok choy, my little Beibei must grow stronger." The mother and son were in a forty-square meter bungalow on the corner of an alley.
The house is divided into two large rooms, the living room inside is divided into two small rooms, and outside there is a large cupboard full of medical drugs and utensils, this is where Xia Xiaoyu lives with her son Beibei, and where she survives, a small clinic.
Today is her thirtieth birthday, deliberately closed the door early, fried two more of her son's favorite dishes, Beibei is very happy, knowing that a birthday is a day to celebrate, Xia Xiaoyu and her son together ready to blow out the candles.
"Mom, you haven't made a wish yet!" You have to make a wish on your birthday, and Bei Bei knows that, "Yes, mom has forgotten, so Bei Bei make a wish for mom, it will come true."
"Daddy will definitely come to pick us up!" Bei Bei's little face looked pious and certain, Xia Xiaoyu held her son tightly in her arms, not wanting him to see her in tears and not wanting her son's little heart to bear the disappointment because of the lies she had told.
"Duk Duk", someone is knocking on the door, Xia Xiaoyu thought someone came to the emergency room, "Who is it, where is not comfortable." Since she gave birth to Bei Bei, she had hired a local solitary older woman to live with her, one to help look after her, and two for safety, the clinic inevitably does not have an emergency at night, she is a woman is really a bit scared, today the older woman has something to do is not in, so she also closed the door early.
"May I ask if Xia Xiaoyu lives here?" Deja vu voice trance, "Who are you?"
"I am Xia Xiaoyu's friend, my name is Gu Jingcheng, may I ask if she lives here?"
As if a star from a distant planet, the impact of Xia Xiaoyu's heart trembled into a ground of overwhelm, this in the heart called countless times, familiar and strange name, miss and afraid to see the person, how did not expect at this time will appear here.
"Who did you say you were?" , she asked trembling, "Xiao Yu, is it you? I'm Gu Jing Cheng', since I saw that photo and the words you wrote, I rushed here, Xiao Yu, no matter what, we should be brave, we can't afford to miss out anymore."
"Is Daddy coming to get us?" Bei Bei was happy, dragging Xia Xiaoyu's hand to open the door.
The door opened, rolled up the roll-up door, bright light shone on this man who pushed open the glass door, dusty exhaustion could not hide the joy on his face, his tall body a navy blue trench coat, mature and introspective expression under the handsome eyebrows, is staring at Xia Xiaoyu's stunned eyes.
Finally, Xia Xiaoyu's tears flowed down, like a raging and dike-breaking sea, all the memories with this open door, breaking the dusty past, rows of mountains and seas came ......
(C) Acacia
This child is Xia Xiaoyu The child is the result of Xia Xiaoyu's indulgence, which has nothing to do with love and affection, but is related to the pain of Acacia, and has nothing to do with the man who made life, but is related to her love and her life. Therefore, all along, Xia Xiaoyu, like all the mothers who are both happy and troubled, has lived her life wholeheartedly and earnestly, and poured out as much as she could into the love of this son.
Since Xia Xiaoyu and Gu Jingcheng got to know each other like that, Xia Xiaoyu could not help but pay attention to him secretly, watching the way he hurried past the window in the morning, and the way he flew away when he got out of school.
She insisted on eating lunch at school, telling her parents that she could save time at school to read, but in fact, she just wanted to be able to have a little more opportunity to see Gu Jingcheng.
The school's cafeteria is always full of people, and the three or five of them are all together, and Gu Jingcheng always seems to be at the back of the pack. Xia Xiaoyu paid attention to the cafeteria a few times, and then realized that he didn't go to the cafeteria at all, but ate steamed buns with a cup of boiled water in the classroom, which made Xia Xiaoyu's heart ache for no apparent reason.
Gu Jing Cheng knows that every now and then by Xia Xiaoyu request to help eat food, is she deliberately taking care of himself, originally he should be refused, because he never felt what he had a hard time, just he can not say, since that time her gentle eyes that penetrating kindness printed in his mind, he remembered her.
So, a tacit understanding between them to generate, sometimes on weekends the two will meet together to play, the countryside of the fields is the most beautiful scenery, and the first love do not understand the love they belong to the same kind of goodness. Love, from the most beautiful belonging to the goodness, may not be the thought of the same must be smooth, but because there is each other and warm, comfortable, assured, and then pleasantly happy, such a thing, right.
Gu Jing Cheng and Xia Xiaoyu from junior high school to high school, has been so not blatant, but not slow to attract each other, each other, no one noticed what is abnormal, but was a boy named Gu Tao secretly see in the eyes. Gu Tao is from the same village as Gu Jingcheng, the son of the village head, a person who knows how to read people's minds.
Although she knew that her parents might not approve of her relationship with Gu Jing Cheng, Xia Xiaoyu had already promised her life to Gu Jing Cheng in her heart.
The third year of high school has just begun, and one morning Gu Jingcheng called out to Xia Xiaoyu to have something to do in spite of the crowd's astonishment. Outside the school gate next to the highway is a large field, rice is just about to harvest, yellow, accompanied by rows of deep green trees, originally such a time, even a small stay for a while, let the two people feel very beautiful, today, Gu Jingcheng, however, look gloomy, heavy hearted.
His sick mother has been unable to, in favor of the construction site to do the work of his father broke his back, originally he wanted to be again bitter, tired to hold out on the past, but, now can not be by his own. His aunt, the border settlement in Xinjiang, because of the opposition to the sister married Gu Jing Cheng's father, has been refusing to recognize each other for many years, and now this situation, his father for his son even put down his self-esteem to beg, and worried about so many years of aunt in any case, they have to be received by a family of three to live in Xinjiang, the main reason is that the examination can be over there scores of concessions, Gu Jing Cheng is the shaky home, the only! hope, can only win and can not lose.
"I will write to you, when we go to college and meet again, believe me, must wait for me." "I will!" Such an agreement like the autumn wind drenched the heart, planting the thoughts of acacia, waiting for the harvest season, who could have expected the cold winds at the beginning of the future?
(4) Waiting
When Xia Xiaoyu fainted while working at the hospital and was found to be pregnant by her colleagues, the whole hospital was no less than a bomb.
When Xia Xiaoyu fainted at work and was found pregnant by her coworkers, the whole hospital was like an explosion.
When the news reached Xia's father's ears, he was so angry that he was unsteady on his feet and almost passed out.
Yes, as the director of a department of a municipal first-class hospital, a subject leader, Xia's father is respected and respected, and has always been Xia Xiaoyu also quite let him worry.
In fact, shortly after Gu Jingcheng left, Xia Xiaoyu also left the town, because her father's job change, the family moved into the city.
And the fact is that, Gu Jingcheng arrived in Xinjiang on a letter to Xia Xiaoyu, gave his new contact address, but he cared too much, afraid to write to the school in case the janitor sends Xia Xiaoyu hands, in order to insure that he sent to the Gu Tao's home, a thousand urged, ten thousand call to please Gu Tao. But he did not expect, Gu Tao is always secretly in love with Xia Xiaoyu's people, secretly in love like crazy grass, can not bloom flowers but enough to desert the garden of a person's heart.
Gu Tao said to Xia Xiaoyu while Gu Jingcheng's nowhere to be found, while Gu Jingcheng reported Xia Xiaoyu's life, her grades are still very good, she grows more and more beautiful, she and the principal's son close to the possibility of being guaranteed admission to a certain school, I heard that the leadership of her father's hospital also joked with her father to climb in-laws, in short, Xia Xia Xiaoyu's life has been very colorful.
Gu Jing Cheng's cold life is not because of the move to Xinjiang and change the pattern, on the contrary, because of the familiar environment, his mother's condition aggravated even left at once, and his father's illness is not good paralyzed in bed, although there is still a semester, but Gu Jing Cheng decisively left the door of the school, he can not be in order to their own future and threw his father, defected to his aunt's door.
From then on, in Gu Jingcheng's heart, Xia Xiaoyu is like a jasmine flower with a faint fragrance, often appearing in the dream, thinking in the heart, but not dare to touch it with their hands.
Only, Xia Xiaoyu did not know, she thought it was her own departure that Gu Jingcheng could not find, she firmly believed that he would come back, he said that he let himself wait for him, and he never lied to himself.
So Xia Xiaoyu, who was convinced that she couldn't contact Gu Jingcheng for some reason, always returned to the fields where they had walked, stood under the trees, and laughed at the bridge to breathe in the memories when the nostalgia lingered so much that she couldn't breathe.
Perhaps the saddest love in the world is not a person's love or lack of love, but a kind of lovesickness, a kind of obvious bone, seemingly touchable but unattainable and can not let go of the waiting, so the thoughts will be more and more soaked in lovesickness thicker and thicker, thicker to the need for a heart strong enough to be able to resist that burst of pain.
Gu Jing Cheng is like this, Xia Xiaoyu is also like this, only that Xia Xiaoyu mistakenly approached Gu Tao.
There is a kind of proximity in this world that is only close to another person because of love, just like Xia Xiaoyu contacting Gu Tao from time to time, she just felt that being with his hairdresser was like being closer to Gu Jingcheng.
So, until she graduated from college, Xia Xiaoyu had been in contact with Gu Tao, albeit in a salty way.
Xia Xiaoyu, who originally wanted to go to the College of Arts and Letters, was good enough to listen to her father's advice and went to medical school, and her mind was made up because Gu Jingcheng had said he wanted to enroll in medical school. However, until she graduated, Xia Xiaoyu was never able to meet Gu Jingcheng.
On the contrary, but in the second year of work because of the same city to do business with the invitation of Gu Tao, in her birthday, was Gu Tao drunk to occupy the high point of the love he thought, he did not pay attention to her just a friend of the speech, he did not pay attention to her since the beginning of the heart belongs to the Gu Jingcheng of the love of the heart, he only knew that the love is to get, even though the consequences of Xia Xiaoyu disappeared in his world.
Xia Xiaoyu hated his own indulgence, destroying his own waiting for Gu Jingcheng to thirty years of age vow, if Gu Jingcheng if also miss, will not be more than thirty years old to look for her, if after thirty still do not see, then she will smile and put it down, and then look for a man in the clouds and the wind, the world is safe and sound.
Just, they are confused to give themselves to a person who does not love, so the intestines are remorseful Xia Xiaoyu simply do not care to think about, once the consequences of indulgence will bring.
Stormy Xia's father forced Xia Xiaoyu to hand over the man, get the news of Gu Tao with a thick gift to the door to propose marriage, people before and after the finger pointing comments, so Xia Xiaoyu suffocated, packed the bag, she away from everything, and came to this simple town, regularly send a letter to his parents without an address, but there is a picture of the letter.
Whenever the missing heart, the confused heart, the helpless heart, the pain, she will write the mood in the community's own nest, until one day uploaded on that photo, and her story, her love of a person who insists and waits. Until one day, someone saw another person, another photo of the same.
Gu Jingcheng, who did not go to medical school, after a hard life and burying his head in the sand, became a businessman, a Confucian businessman who loved to read and dealt in medical goods. At first he wanted to come back, at least to give an account of the promise at the beginning, just from Gu Tao mouth to get the news that Xia Xiaoyu has already married and lived a good life, he put her into the bottom of his heart, she, living happily, should be the best.
He got married, but divorced, no reason, just both sides feel not that feeling, so while there is no child, it is natural to break up. He also has a faint sadness, but only together with those pain itchy . The years together, with words to take out and put into the network, along with thoughts resting in that photo, with the flow of the mood.
Xia Xiaoyu and Gu Jingcheng tightly embraced body strange, just that has never left the acacia familiar as their own, and how need to distinguish?
"Are you daddy?" , "Baby, yes, Daddy is back from a business trip." Gu Jing Cheng and Xia Xiaoyu said in unison while picking up Bei Bei, laughter flowing out uncontrollably along with tears.
The night finally returned to its rightful serenity, and love, if the heart is in love, will never be lost.
The years are like water
Wuzhen, a water town, old, clean, quiet and quiet, where there are high eaves, black window panes, long green stone road, narrow streets, quiet water lanes, thin boat, smoke, fog, clouds, long grass, blossoms and falls, the years are like water. It is very small, so small that you can not find it on the map, but it is very suitable for love and lyricism.
There is a man who used to love me y, he is quiet, silent, holding my hand, standing in Wuzhen winter quiet ancient ferry, watching the year long like water.
Early January in Wuzhen is like a beauty, elegant, delicate, gentle, dignified, exquisite and transparent, in full compliance with the "reed reed, white dew for the frost" of the classical rhyme; Wuzhen in January is also similar to poetry, fine and long, sweet and fragrant, flowers and moonlight, all day long intoxicated in the small bridges and water, the depths of the setting sun and smoke, as a big dream! A ......
He is my legacy in Jiangnan a straw raincoat smoke and rain dream, warm, mengmeng, with a little bit of slightly wet sadness and warmth, so lingering in my memory. Walked into, always so quiet, a thousand years of unchanged ancient and eternal. That a calm and affectionate young man, all the love is only hidden in the heart, you do not say, he will always hold back. Young and clear love, calm and intense, all melted into the watery years of the town of Jiangnan.
He has never been silent and introverted, and most of the time we are together, we are quiet and speechless. He was quietly by my side, walking with me in the countryside in the field, looking up to see the clear sky.
At that time, I was very busy with my homework, and the only time I saw him every day was during the 10 minutes after the evening study session. The first time I saw him was when he was in the car, and he was in the car, and he was in the car, and he was in the car, and he was in the car, and he was in the car.
This is the first time I've ever seen a man in the world who has been in a position to do something like this, and I don't know if I've ever been in a position to do it.
Almost always a walk in the playground, early June when the fireflies began. One brightly flying in the crazy grass, like a small lantern flying in the sky, that kind of scene beautiful like a dream, let a person marvel. He stretched out his closed hand and put a firefly in my hand. He always like to put in my heart, winter rain-soaked plum, dark fragrance; Wuzhen hand-woven concentric knots; Nanxun golden brilliant small scented pouch, and my favorite Dove and Crystal Love.
Most of the places we have been to are water towns in the south of the Yangtze River, Nanxun, Henshan or Wuzhen, ancient and quiet places. Jiangnan's small bridges and flowing homes, suitable for growing love. Sometimes walk too tired, in the car back to the faint sleep, dazed and confused feel his eyes burning focus, take a tissue carefully wipe my face constantly seeping sweat.
At that time, I just ended my first relationship, and a person who does not love each other together, boredom. I met him by chance at a school party. He sat behind me, silent as a plant. Walking on the way home, suddenly realized that the May rose is already in full bloom, the fragrance is overflowing.
He is a silent and introverted person, seldom talk, and even less communication. In the silence, misunderstandings and doubts are entangled together, the more they accumulate, the heavier and heavier, slowly lifted. He smiled at me more and more sparsely, and my eyes looked away when I talked to him. Until one day when he smiled easily at a common friend instead, my heart gradually welled up chills.
Finally, the pain of that trip to Shanghai was out of control. That was the first time I felt hate for him, and the last. Later he talked about how my gaze at him then was as harsh as if I wanted to kill, making him fearful and painfully remorseful. That was the first time he cried in my ear, and I refused to forgive, and then he fell ill. Why does regret always have to come after loss?
We drifted farther and farther apart, and there was no turning back.
And yet, he really loved me, like Zhu Lockliao's cousin in "The Golden Years".
A long time later, when we faced the past finally can be calm, only to realize that all his silence is because of the fear of losing me. I think of a long time ago, I accidentally saw him write the sentence: "I do not want anyone to give me comfort, hurt and tears in the dawn before the retreat." We were in love at the time, so naturally such a sentence was not written about me. The first time I saw this, I heard him talking about his former girlfriend's hurt, and I realized that his worries were caused by it.
At that time, we have been separated, my side is my deep love. Even knowing that he was still behind me was irreversible.
The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a conversation with a man who was in the middle of a conversation with a woman who was in the middle of a conversation.
We were young, wandering in the gentle and quiet time of the water town. The group was lost in a long and cold alley, he casually pushed open a wooden door, and saw the tall courtyard, hung with beautiful blue prints, hanging down from the tall bamboo poles, swaying in the cold wind, simple and moving. That winter day, we decided to stay together.
We were drunk in the water village, let the years like water.
Years also like water, a go can not return ......