Urgently seeking humorous philosophical short story, 300-700 words or so!

Breaking the Precepts

The old monk was traveling with his young monk, and came across a river; a woman was trying to cross the river, but did not dare to do so. The old monk then took the initiative to carry the woman across the river, and then put down the woman, and the young monk to continue the journey. The little monk could not help but mutter all the way: Master how? Dare to carry a woman across the river? All the way, all the way to think, finally could not help, said: Master, you break the precepts? How did you carry a woman on your back? The old monk sighed: I have long put down, but you still can not let go!

**The gentleman is open and honest, the small man is always on the same side; broad-minded, open-minded, can afford to let go of things, in order to always maintain a healthy state of mind.

Gifts

Once upon a time, two hungry men were given a gift by an elder: a fishing rod and a basket of fresh, large fish. One of them asked for a basket of fish, and the other asked for a fishing rod, so they went their separate ways. The man who got the fish made a campfire with dry wood and cooked it on the spot. He gobbled it up, and before he could savor the aroma of the fresh fish, in a moment he had eaten all the fish with the soup, and soon he died of hunger beside the empty fish basket. Another person is carrying a fishing rod to continue to starve, step by step difficult to go to the sea, but when he has seen not far away from the azure sea, the last bit of his body's strength is also used up, he can only eye with endless regret on earth.

There were two hungry men who were also given a fishing rod and a basket of fish by the elders. Only they did not go their own way, but agreed to *** with the search for the sea, they both cook only one fish at a time, they after a long journey to the sea, from then on, the two began to fish for a living, a few years later, they built a house, have their own families, children, have their own construction of the fishing boat, live a happy and prosperous life.

** A person who only cares about the immediate interests, what he gets will eventually be a short-lived pleasure; a person who aims high, but also has to face the reality of life. Only by organically combining ideals and realities can one become a successful person. Sometimes, a simple truth, but enough to give people meaningful life revelation.

Accidental fortune

U.S. soldiers received a bounty order from their superiors: catching an Afghan guerrilla can be rewarded with 20,000 U.S. dollars.

Mick and Tom began to search the desert for Afghan guerrillas, and as long as they caught a few more, their respective dreams of a family would be fulfilled. But after several days of laboring without even a trace of the Afghan guerrillas, the two men drifted deeper into the mountains and away from the group. They leaned against a tree and went to sleep, exhausted.

In his sleep, Mick was disoriented when he heard loud noises, and when he fully awoke, he found the two of them surrounded by hundreds of gun-toting Afghan guerrillas.

Rubbing his eyes, Mick was so excited that he hurriedly shouted and nudged Tom awake: "Get up, get up, we're rich!"

Real bravery

Aboard a ship, the generals of England, France, and Germany were competing together to see whose soldiers were the bravest.

First, the British general called one of his soldiers and said to him, "You climb to the top of a 30-meter-high cabin and jump into the sea." The soldier did as he was told. The British general said triumphantly, "See, that's bravery!"

Then the German general also called a soldier and said, "You climb to the 60-meter-high watchtower and jump into the sea." The soldier did as he was told, and the German general said triumphantly to the other two generals, "See, that's bravery!"

It was the French general's turn, and he too called one of his soldiers and ordered, "You go on deck and go over the railing, then jump into the sea." Unexpectedly the soldier listened and said loudly to the general, "Are you crazy?" Then he walked away without looking back. At this point the French general laughed and said, "See, that's bravery!"

(Bravery is an ability that develops based on a sense of self-esteem - Napoleon)

What I'd like to say most

The job fair held at the Capital Stadium was packed with people, with college students handing out resumes and chatting with employers. Television reporters also made their way through the crowd to cover this year's employment situation.

In a corner of the hall, the reporter came across a girl who was busy preparing her resume, so she rushed over and pointed the camera at her, asking how the job application was going. The girl said that work experience is now emphasized, and it is difficult for freshmen to find jobs. After talking for a while, the TV reporter asked, "If you let you face the TV audience, what do you most want to say now?" The girl immediately pulled out a resume from her bag and said with anticipation, "Is your TV station still hiring this year?"

Fairy tale endings

Many people think that after a princess marries her prince, she lives happily ever after. I'm sure you wouldn't think so if you saw a blossoming Cinderella.

It is said that Cinderella was so happy every day after she became the beautiful bride of the prince. In the past, she had to carry water, collect firewood, cook food, do laundry every day, and often had a top meal without a bottom meal. Now there are hundreds of palace maids serving her alone, and the delicacies imported from all over the world and the gatherings and state banquets in the palace make her eat well! Every day, in addition to the three full meals refined by the imperial chef, there were also afternoon tea and late-night snacks, while her favorite cakes and chocolates were inexhaustible.

Calculating Cinderella married into the palace is only two years, the prince's attitude towards her but more and more cold, and often see him looking at the palace outside of the beauty of the young girl long pouting and sighing. Cinderella is puzzled, until one day she had a whim to take out the glass shoes to wear, I did not expect "clang" a sound, the shoes should be sound and broken. Cinderella rushed to find the fairy mother, the fairy mother saw her can not help but shake his head: "Alas, I forgot to remind you, the glass shoes can not be more than one hundred kilograms of weight, you are also too fat!

Originally, Cinderella was still unimpressed by the fact that she was getting fat, but then the prince's plan to take her two sisters as concubines finally made her determined to lose weight. So Cinderella went to a bodybuilding center.

After paying the enrollment fee, the service lady instructed her to go inside and exercise on her own for a while first. When Cinderella entered the center, she found that there were already two women who were even more bloated than herself sighing, so Cinderella introduced herself: "Hello, I am Cinderella. Who are you two?" "I'm Sleeping Beauty." "I'm Snow White." The two fat women replied.

The Lesson of the Story

An elementary school teacher told each student in her class to tell a story and then explained the lesson of the story.

Jenri was the first to say, "My father had a farm, and every week we put our eggs in a basket to take to market, and one day, because of a bump in the road, the basket fell out of the cart onto the ground, and all the eggs broke. The lesson of the story is, don't put all your eggs in one basket."

The second person to tell the story was Jack: "My dad also had a farm, and one day we put 12 eggs in the incubator, but only 8 hatched chicks. The lesson of the story is, don't count your chickens before the eggs hatch, as it is often unreliable."

The last one is Peter, "My uncle was flying an airplane in the war, and when he was shot down by the enemy, he jumped by parachute to a remote island with nothing but a bottle of medicinal whisky with him. My uncle was surrounded by 12 enemies, he drank that bottle of whiskey and then beat them all to death with his bare hands."

"That's marvelous," said the teacher, "but what is the lesson of the story?"

Billy said, "Never disturb your uncle when he is drinking."

The Old Man's Lesson

One afternoon a young man was on the golf course getting ready to tee off, when an older gentleman came over and asked if he could join him for a few shots.

Because the young man was alone, he readily agreed. After teeing off, the old man did not play badly at all, and although the ball was not hit very far, it was a solid advance, and little time was wasted. When they came to the front of the ninth hole, the young man saw a large, leafy tree blocking the path of the ball. The young man watched the measurements over and over again, trying to figure out a way to avoid the big tree. After a few minutes, the old man opened his mouth, "You know what, young man? When I was your age, I hit the ball over the top of the tree with a vicious blow."

Inflamed by the old man, the young man took a playful swing at the ball. Unfortunately, the ball flew straight into the canopy of the tree, then dropped to the ground and rolled back into view. At this point, the old man added, "Of course, when I was your age, this tree was only about two meters tall."

High-tech watches

There was a man catching an airplane and he forgot his watch, so he tried to find someone to ask. That's when he saw a man straining with two huge suitcases, and on the man's wrist was an unusually beautiful watch.

"Excuse me, what time is it?" He asked.

"What country's time?" The man asked back.

"Oh?" The man was surprised, "What countries' time do you know?"

"All the countries." The man replied.

"Wow! That's a great watch!"

"And that's not all, this watch also has a GPS satellite system, you can send and receive emails and faxes at any time, and this colorful screen can watch NTSC TV programs!" The man gave him a demonstration, and it was true!

"Ah! It's amazing, I really want to own a watch like this, can you sell it to me?" The man was filled with boundless expectations.

"Honestly, I'm sick of this watch, how about this, 900 dollars?"

The man thought it was a bit pricey, but he liked the watch so much he immediately pulled out cash and gave the man $900, "Deal!"

"Okay, now, it's yours." The man was relieved and handed him the watch, "This is your watch." After he had joyfully put on the amazing watch, the man pointed to the two large boxes on the floor and said. "These two are batteries!"

Real Estate Advertisement

A person retired in an old mansion. He wanted to sell it and buy another better house, but after a long time, he had not been able to do so. Then he decided to ask a realtor for help.

The realtor immediately advertised the old house. A few days later, the homeowner saw an attractive picture in a beautifully printed magazine. It was his old house that had been photographed.

The text of the advertisement was followed by a paragraph about Powers and Simplicity, which was written on the basis of a 6-page article about the house, and about how the house had been built in the past. The four doorkeepers are honestly the same as the old ones, and they are also the same as the old ones. They are the ones who have been working for the sake of the people, and they have been working for the sake of the people, and they have been working for the sake of the people.

Three questions to ask

The town organized a movie show, and the young and old from several villages went to the threshing floor to take up space, carrying benches and shaking bushels.

The old man Wang managed to find a place to sit down. A moment later, a young man came in front of him. Suddenly, Old Man Wang patted the lad and said to him, "Are you a township cadre?"

"No!" The lad replied. "Then do any of your siblings work as cadres in the township?" "No!" The lad answered. "Are any of your relatives acquaintances with the township cadres?" "No!" The boy answered strangely.

Wang Lao asked and stopped talking, after a while, Wang Lao was uneasy, and asked the young man in front of him, "Do you have any neighbors or friends who know the township cadres?" "No! I have nothing to do with the township cadres!" The young man replied cheerfully. After hearing this, Old Man Wang suddenly put away his smiling face and cursed angrily, "Kid, your fucking stool has been pressing on my feet for a long time! Bastard!"

The story of the job application

A man without a job went to Microsoft to get a job as a janitor. After an interview and a practical exercise (sweeping toilets), the HR department told him he was accepted, asking him for his e-mailaddress to send the acceptance notice and other documents.

He said, "I don't have a computer, let alone e-mail." The HR department told him, "To Microsoft, someone without e-mail is the same as someone who doesn't exist, so Microsoft can't use it."

He left Microsoft disappointed, with only $10 in his pocket. He had to go to a convenience store and buy 10 kilograms of potatoes, which he resold door-to-door. Two hours later he sold all the potatoes and doubled his profit.

He did this several more times, doubling his capital. He realized that he could make money to support himself this way. So he got serious about this kind of business, and with some luck and hard work, he got bigger and bigger, and bought a car and hired new people.

Within five years, he had built up a large "door-to-door" selling company, offering people the chance to buy fresh fruit and vegetables right on their doorstep.

He thought about planning for his family's future and planned to buy an insurance policy. When he signed up, the salesman asked him for his e-mailaddress. once again, he said, "I don't have a computer, let alone an e-mailaddress."

The salesman was surprised: "You have such a big company but no e-mail. think how much more work you could do if you had a computer and e-mail? How much more business could be developed?"

He said, "And become a janitor at Microsoft."

Last wishes

At the gates of heaven, three men were waiting in line to enter. St. Peter asked them, "Before you enter heaven, what would you like to hear the people attending your funeral say? This is probably your last dying wish."

The first man said, "I'm a doctor, and I would like someone to say, 'He was a great doctor who saved countless lives!'"

The second person said, "I'm a businessman, and I want someone to say, 'He's so successful, his business made the Fortune 500 again this year!'"

The third person said, "I was very moved by what the first two people said. However, I wish someone had yelled, 'Look! He's moving!'"

Mosquitoes

Once upon a time, there were three mosquitoes from Britain, China and the United States, and they got together to show off their flying skills, and after much bickering and arguing, and never being able to distinguish between a winner and a loser, they decided to show each other a bit.

The British mosquito first attack, only to see it fly to a frog, in its vicinity around a few times, back, only to see the frog's tongue tied a live knot, it proudly said: "Tell you! In my old country, if you don't have this kind of skill, you'll be finished in no time!"

The American mosquito saw this and sneered twice: "Hmph! A small skill, not enough to worry about!" So it flew to the two frogs in front of it, flew back and forth between them a few times, and came back with the two frogs' tongues knotted in a dead knot, after which it said triumphantly, "Hmph! That's what it takes to survive in my old country!"

The Chinese mosquito looked at them and replied disdainfully, "Just kidding! I've never seen such poor technology in our old country!" The British and American mosquitoes said defiantly, "What makes you say that? How capable do you think you are?"

So the Chinese mosquitoes flew to a group of frogs and made several trips among them, and when they came back, they saw the frogs' tongues pulling together and tying a "Chinese knot".

Fascinating Bubbles

The statistics teacher asked each student to carry out a survey. It's a boring job, so Charlie chooses to investigate how people are entertained.

He first went to a very large apartment near the school and knocked on the door of the first room, which was opened by a man. Charlie said, "I'm a college student doing a statistical survey right now to find out what kind of entertainment you like." Charlie introduced himself. The man thought for a moment and replied, "Watching the bubbles in the bath." Charlie found his answer interesting, made a note of it, and moved on.

Charlie came to the second door and asked the same question to the second gentleman he encountered, "I'm doing a statistical survey and would like to know what kind of entertainment you like?" The man thought for a moment and replied, "Watching the bubbles in the bath."

Charlie was so amused and perplexed that he continued the survey, and all the men he met answered, "Watching the bubbles in the bathtub".

Charlie left the apartment perplexed, and the question haunted him for a long time.

Until one day, when he came to the last house to investigate, he knocked on the door, and this time, a very pretty girl opened it.

Charlie asked, "What's your name, miss?" The girl replied, "Bubbles."

The Benefits of a Foreign Language

One day, an old rat was wandering around the room with a group of young rats, wandering around, when suddenly a cat appeared in front of them. So the rats began to run around, the cat chased after them, and when they were at the end of their tether, the old rat, who was running in front of them, suddenly turned back to the cat and yelled, "Woof, woof!" The cat didn't understand the situation, and was scared by these two sudden barks, so it turned around and ran away.

The rats finally got out of danger, and the little rats wiped off their sweat while looking at the old rat with adoring eyes. At this time, the old rat patted the little rats on the shoulder and said in a long-winded manner, "Boys, you see, how important it is to master a foreign language!"

Counting sheep the hard way

There was a couple who ran a ranch, and due to overwork, the husband suffered from insomnia and often couldn't sleep through the night, which was very distressing. So his wife told him that when he could not sleep, he would lie on the bed and silently count the sheep, and he would slowly fall asleep. He tried it according to the law, but it still didn't work. The wife knew that her husband was an acute, maybe a few counts of impatience, so she comforted her husband: "You are too anxious, you must concentrate on counting, and counted to 10,000 to be effective. Try again tonight."

The next morning, the wife asked her husband if he had fallen asleep last night counting sheep. The husband said hatefully, "Still haven't slept all night! I finished counting 10,000 sheep, and sheared wool, combed properly, spun into cloth, sewn into clothes, shipped to the United States, all sold, the whole deal made 3 million yuan! By the time the money was made, it was already dawn."

The Depressed Frog

Once upon a time, there was an old man rowing a boat in a lake, when suddenly a frog swam toward him, and the frog could be heard shouting to the old man, "Sir! Sir! I am a beautiful princess. If you give me a kiss, I can immediately change back into a princess, and then we can live happily together!"

The old man picked up the frog and, instead of kissing it, just put it in his pocket and continued rowing. The frog was a bit puzzled and called out again, "Sir! I really am a beautiful princess. If you just kiss me, I can change back into a princess right away, and then we can live happily ever after!"

The old man still didn't say anything and continued to row forward. The frog was angry and said, "Why don't you kiss me? I told you I am indeed a beautiful princess."

"Listen, ma'am," the old man replied, "I am 90 years old. At that age, I'd rather have a talking frog."

The strategy of the underdog

The two men were exploring the primeval forest when, suddenly, a huge tiger appeared in front of them.

Seeing that the tiger was about to come, one man hurriedly kicked off the leather shoes on his feet and took out a pair of lighter running shoes from his backpack to change into. The other man saw that he still had the heart to change his shoes at the critical moment and said, "You're really stupid, you can't run away from the tiger even if you change your shoes again!" The man shook his head and said, "I don't need to outrun the tiger, just run faster than you."

Engineers skipping tickets

There were three engineers and three accountants going to an out-of-town meeting together, when they got on the train, the three accountants bought three tickets while the three engineers only bought one ticket, the accountants were puzzled and asked the engineers why they only bought one ticket, the engineers said, "You'll know when you get on the train."

As soon as the train started the three engineers squeezed into a restroom and the conductor started checking the tickets and finally went to the outside of the restroom and she knocked on the door and said, "Check your tickets." Then the door opened a small crack and a ticket was handed out from inside.

When they returned from the meeting in the field, the accountants thought that the engineers' method was very good, so they also bought only one ticket, and this time the engineers didn't buy a single ticket, and the accountants were again puzzled, and the engineers still said, "Get on the bus and you'll understand."

After getting on the train, the three accountants immediately squeezed into a restroom while the three engineers squeezed into a restroom on the other side of the car, and shortly after the train started, an engineer came out of the restroom to the outside of the restroom where the accountants were, knocked on the door, and said, "Check your tickets."

The Amazing Ant

A man was sentenced to 12 years in prison and was quite bored. One day, he noticed an ant that actually understood him and started training it.

After a few years, the ant not only did handstands and somersaults, but also danced, much to his amusement. When he finally got out of jail, the first thing he did was run to a bar, ready to show off his amazing ant.

He first ordered a glass of beer from the bartender, then took the ant out of his pocket and put it on the table, and said loudly to the bartender, "Look at this ant ......" The bartender came over and immediately slapped the ant to death with one hand, and then apologized and said to him: "I'm sorry, I'll get you a new glass right away!"

Churchill hit

One day, Churchill to hold a speech, before the speech forgot to bring a very important information, so he took a taxi home to get, the car to the door of the house, he called the cab driver to wait outside for a while, and then send him out. Who knew that the driver replied firmly, "No, I have to go back and listen to Churchill's speech."

Churchill was secretly delighted, and then gave him a sizable tip. Overjoyed, the driver took the money and immediately changed his tune, "Sir, I think I'll wait here for you and to hell with Churchill and his speech!

The Effort

A well-known writer traveled to a small city that had only one bookstore. The owner of this bookstore hears that this writer is going to patronize his bookstore, and in order to please the writer, he removes all the other books from his shelves and replaces them with the writer's works, as a sign of how much he values the writer.

On this day, the writer came to the bookstore, and saw his own book at a glance, and was very happy, but he looked around the bookstore, and found that the bookstore only had his books, and was a bit confused, so he asked the owner: "Where are the books of other writers?"

The owner of the store did not expect the writer to ask this question, so he did not know how to answer, and stammered for half a day before saying, "All the other books are sold out!"

The Nun and the Priest

A priest was driving along the road when he saw a nun by the side of the road, so he stopped and offered her a ride.

The nun entered the car and crossed her legs, letting her lovely legs peek out of her robe. The priest looked so happy that he almost let the car get into an accident. After taking control of the car he sneakily moved his hand towards the beautiful leg.

The nun looked at him and said, "Father, remember Hymn 129?" The priest blushed and hastily apologized, and was forced to move his hand away. But his eyes didn't leave her beautiful legs. After a couple of shifts, his hand slid down to the beautiful leg once again.

The nun added, "Father, remember Hymn 129?" Again the priest apologized, "I'm sorry, you must know that the flesh is weak." Upon arriving at the convent, the nun got out of the car and gave the priest a moralizing look and left.

When the priest returned to the church, he hurriedly pulled out his Bible to try to find out what exactly was written in verse 129 of the hymn. He turned to verse 129, which reads, "Go forth and seek, go a little deeper and you will find glory."

Decent approach

The company was holding a staff meeting in the evening when the power suddenly went out, the conference room was dark, everyone waited in peace and quiet, and a moment later after the call came in, the manager suddenly called out, "The watch I put on the conference table is gone!"

"Someone must have stolen it." "Who could have done it?" The following began to discuss.

The chairman looked at everyone seated, then shrugged his shoulders and said to everyone, "Gentlemen, I'll solve this problem in a decent way. Lights out now for five minutes, everyone walks out one by one, and will the person with the watch, please place that watch on the table with the desk clock by the door."

Five minutes later, the lights came on. The manager walked out of the conference room to get the watch, only to find: there was no watch on the table, and the desk clock was gone.

God's help

On one occasion it rained very heavily and floods began to inundate the city. A priest was praying in his church. He saw that the flood was up to his waist, when suddenly a lifeguard in a dinghy said to the priest, "Father! Come up quickly! Or the flood will drown you!" And the priest said, "No! I'm going to keep my temple! I have no doubt that God will come to my rescue!" So the lifeguard left quite helplessly.

Soon the flood was over the priest's head. The priest had to barely stand on the table, when a policeman came by in a dinghy and said to the priest, "Come up quickly! Or the flood will drown you." The priest said, "No! I'm going to keep my temple! I am convinced that God will come to my rescue!" So the policeman left helplessly.

A little while later, the flood had submerged the church, and the priest had to grab the cross. At that moment, a helicopter drove by, and after dropping the rope ladder, the flight crew yelled, "Father! Quickly pull the rope ladder and climb up! Or the flood will drown you!" The priest willfully said, "No! I'm going to keep my temple! I have no doubt that God will come to my rescue!" And so the helicopter left helplessly.

But still, the flood waters kept rising and rising, and the priest finally drowned. When the priest got to heaven, he met God and asked angrily, "What's gotten into you! Will your people still believe in you this way?" God said, "What do you want? I've already sent two dinghies and a helicopter to rescue you! Do you want an aircraft carrier?"