Now the elderly in society, in fact, live a very hard, young people for their children to work hard for most of their lives, it is not easy to wait until retirement, but also can not fall idle, they can not be idle for a moment to start to the children with children, with the rest of their lives to continue to "shine".
However, these elderly people who work hard to help their children with their babies, have they ever thought about when to quit?
Auntie Fu retired a few years ago, they took on the task of helping their sons and daughters-in-law with their children, this with is ten years, completely tethered to the auntie Fu, a little of their own life and leisure are not.
On one occasion, Auntie Fu saw Auntie Xu going to a square dance alone and asked curiously, "How do you still have time to dance? You don't give your daughter a child?"
Auntie Xu replied, "My nephew is 4 years old and in kindergarten, where do I need to bring ah, his parents are responsible for transportation, If you are too busy to do so, I'll give you a hand, always give them a child when it is the end of the day ah!
These words are very surprising to Auntie Fu, her nephew just went to kindergarten in Xu Amma let go, people now live more comfortable and happy, and their grandchildren have been in elementary school for several years, and every day is still a grandmother.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in a position of power, and I'm sure it's been a long time since I've been in a position of power. When the parent-teacher conference, the whole class is almost all the parents present, each time only pay aunt a hair white old lady; pay aunt with children for a long time, the son and daughter-in-law will have developed inertia, think what things have to do her ......
Later, pay aunt figured out: take grandchildren to be willing to let go, they should be The first thing you need to do is to get out of the way.
The problem of intergenerational education
In the early days of infancy, the old man and the young parents just had a deviation from the concept of nurturing, the child as long as the day to eat and drink enough to sleep on it, even if the old man's concept is outdated, but not so much as to harm the child.
However, the child's age and mind is gradually maturing, some of the old man's way of being in the world, really not suitable for modern society, the old man to help children with children but do not know how to quit, intergenerational education may affect the child's outlook on the three.
Imbalanced parent-child relationship
As we all know, children grow up with whom the longer they spend time with, the more intimate they are with whom, and the old man helps his children to take care of their children if they don't know how to get out of the way, which can lead to an imbalance in the relationship between the parents and the children.
Young parents are used to the old man's "big bag", in the child's business as a "hands off", the child will also rely on the old man, over time, lead to the child and the parents of the feelings are not deep.
The first "key point": around 3 years old
From birth to 3 years old, it can be said that the baby is the most difficult period of time.
Young babies have no ability to take care of themselves, and need to be taken care of by their parents around the clock, while most young parents today are busy with their work, and the elderly have already had the experience of taking care of their children, so most of the children are taken care of by their grandmothers or grandmothers.
When the child grows up to be about 3 years old, it is time to go to kindergarten, and there is no need to accompany the person around day and night, this is the first "key point" for the elderly to quit.
If the parents are in a position to transport the child, if it is not convenient, the old man can occasionally give a hand, but do not have to do everything as in the original.
Children from the age of 3, will gradually appear self-conscious, then the development of behavioral habits should be put on the agenda, just as the old saying "three years old to see the big", the age of the child's future development is very important. After all, the old man's idea of parenting is a bit old-fashioned, for the child's growth and education, or the parents themselves to more secure.
The second "key point": around 7 years old
7-year-old children have basically entered the elementary school, which is a new beginning of their life, this is the second old man with children to withdraw from the "critical point".
First of all, from the point of view of the elderly, to help their children with children for so many years, it is time to take a break.
To say that the kindergarten pick-up and parents commute to and from work, then the elementary school commute time, parents can basically meet, and when the child on the upper grades will not have to pick up and drop off, then don't bother the old man, so they also enjoy a little more of the old age.
Secondly, from a child's point of view, it is important that the parents themselves take care of the child, and that the elderly do not intervene.
The children of this age, in the period of rapid growth, but also extremely rebellious period, lying, fighting, tantrums are common, they simply do not put the old man's words in their eyes, the old man for the grandchildren will lose the binding force. And this time, the child's learning task began to become heavy, many uneducated old man is difficult to cope with, more need to parents care and education.
The elderly to help their children with children is a good thing, but also know when to "appropriate exit", the child 3 years old when you can try to exit, the latest not more than 7 years old.
Otherwise, a long time, the elderly themselves do not have the leisure time in their twilight years, not to mention the growth of the child is not much good, and will make the parent-child relationship is imbalanced, and even because of the problem of child care caused by the family conflict.
Discussion topic: Your family is the old man to help bring children? How many years old did they quit?
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