Looking at the neon flashing on both sides of the street, a little bit of empty space, there are big mothers dancing in the square dance, the old body dances out of the most powerful pulse of this small town. There was no shortage of young people joining in, but keeping their eyes on the leader. Children on roller skates weave through the crowd like they are on wind turbines. Cars are passing by, all in a hurry to get to dinner or home at this hour. It's such a beautiful night.
On the way, I pondered the question of what role in-laws play in our marriage. It seemed like a very lineal question. An evening listening to the discordant voices of two families. It made me glad that I had been living with my parents after marriage and didn't have to deal with the cut-throat, messy relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Friends Z is the mother of two children, but also and I grew up with friends, the child's in-laws, husband and wife work in Beijing, the income in this small town is very generous, it should be happy and carefree ah.The phone caller was crying and the ground shook. Listening to her with the most vicious language curse in-laws, and even their own husbands, because I know her many experiences, and did not interrupt her, let her vent her chest of anger.
If I say she is afraid of the in-laws, the inner sense of fear is very deep, people who know her must not believe that the school is very powerful is very famous how to be afraid of the in-laws.
If I say that she was often scolded by her in-laws, probably more no one believes that this year's evil daughter-in-law more, evil in-laws is very rare. But it is a few thousandths, a few ten thousandths of the evil was also met by her. If I continue, on the second day of the Lunar New Year, when the girl was supposed to go back to her mother's home, she was not allowed to go home because her father-in-law said that if Z went back to her mother's home, there would be no one to cook for him. Because the mother-in-law also went back to her mother's house. You'd think I'm telling a travel story, what dynasty is this traveling to!
This is all really happening to Z. He's at home on New Year's Eve, and it's a total child's playground. She was at home on New Year's Eve, with the face of a child bride, a free babysitter, waking up at 5:00 a.m. to cook for a large family, and being criticized for cooking food that was not to her liking. I've seen her hands in the winter, and I've seen frostbite on the backs of her rough hands.
Every time I received a phone call from her hiding in the room crying because she was scolded, I hated her teeth: where did the skill of scolding go when I was in school? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. And then I tried all sorts of things, but none of them worked. The first thing you need to do is to get rid of all the stuff you've been doing.
Yes, respect for the elderly is rooted in our hearts, because it is the elders, because the old, we do the younger generation must be respected from the bottom of the heart, love and care. However, when it comes to unintelligent, do not understand the human warmth of the people, even if the elders should also have to deal with. People have the need to be respected, the elderly need, young people also need. And respect is mutual. Otherwise this will not be soaked in tears later.
The other day, because the child went to school, just arrived at the new house was put into the renovation, to buy a house is that I pulled Z one by one building to run, renovation is again her own one person to run, come to the city early in the morning, their own to buy sand, cement, contact to change the plumbing and electricity .... The only thing I can do is to eat one meal a day and then rush back to my mother's house in the evening for fear of the unholy accent of my in-laws.
is wherever you have bought a house renovated know the period of hard work, these hard work on the back of Z a person, a little more than one meter five small woman. After all the preparatory work is done, Z asked the father-in-law to take care of it, the workers installed on the good, and then continue to go back to Beijing to prepare for the work, just to 2 days, the father-in-law called to complain about how much how hard and the tone of voice is very tough to ask for the Z back to take care of their own.
So I got the call and cried for more than half an hour: only after 2 days of looking at it, I shouted hard, my hard who saw it, a considerate words are not .... My suggestion is to come back to renovate and bring up your own children. 2,000 dollars a month for the in-laws to use to bring up their own children is not bad. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, far away from the fragrance, close to the stink. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get away with this.
z Husband came back and hung up the phone. The first time I saw this was when I was a student at the University of California at Berkeley. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it," he said. The reason for this is that my mother-in-law called my son and told him that she was a bad influence on him. She was yelling for a divorce. Seeing that I couldn't put out her fire, I reminded her that she could find that whoever wrote the divorce papers. I also throw an extra stone when I see the well is deep.
Recently, I met with a few close friends, and there were only two topics on the table: children and mothers-in-law. Mother-in-law is not as good as her own mother at raising kids, mother-in-law's cooking is not as good as her own mother's... These things are just a matter of talking about them. But when it comes to a mother-in-law like the Z's and the father-in-law's, I have no choice but to stay away from them. I have no choice but to stay away from them. I don't want to fight with the old man, and I can't listen to their egg-marrow bone-like scolding, of course, I can only hide as far away as possible like a deserter.
The next afternoon, I received a message from Z, saying that my father-in-law was willing to continue to take care of the renovation of the house. And he himself put the word over that he doesn't intend to bully her in the future. The reason for all this change is that Z was on the phone with her in-laws and scolded them. Sometimes, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really either the east wind overpowering the west wind or the west wind overpowering the east wind. Suddenly, I felt that Z's image was taller all of a sudden. Although it's not a change of heart, but at least the situation of being scolded will be reduced, right?
Two days ago, I read an article that said: "The future of mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship is all about your style and education. However, I would like to say: when you meet the old in-laws, you can't even open the big pattern, and you can't even educate yourself well enough to face the in-laws who want to suppress you and fight with you to the end of the aggrieved and gnashing of teeth.
The mother-in-law dispute has been going on for thousands of years, and we all expect to have a reasonable and understanding mother-in-law. The in-laws, while they are still in good health, can help their children and then live in harmony and enjoy each other's company.
Now a lot of mothers-in-law although and daughter-in-law is between the appearance of separation, even if the appearance of harmony is also good, at least will not make the family atmosphere tense, see a friend in the circle of friends in the sun mother-in-law to buy her black fish. I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea. I'm not sure if you've ever met a loving, heartfelt mother-in-law is really a blessing, to be more loving, heartfelt to be good.
If it is really unfortunate to meet an old not more in-laws, it is considered to be the life of the experience you have more than others to practice. The journey of life, we have to play a lot of roles, and the role of the daughter-in-law of the role-playing good or bad, seems to affect their own close to the people of it. In order to these close to the people, we only try our best to play.
I say to myself: read more, practice more, and be a good mother-in-law in the future.