In old age, people can hold hands with their wives and watch the sunrise and sunset together. When they are lonely, someone will nag in your ear. When they are sick, someone will miss you and send you medicine and water. This is the greatest happiness in the world.
However, no matter how beautiful the ideal is, the reality is always cruel. When you are old, you will find that there are too many disappointments in your later life. Maybe my wife's physical condition is worse than yours, and you still need to take care of and worry about it? Maybe the relationship between husband and wife is lukewarm for most of their lives, so why talk about romantic love? probably ...
However, whatever the reason, what people who have had personal experience say is the most credible, and it is worth learning to choose the closest person in later life.
Let's listen to the truth of these old people together, which will be of great help to our future life.
0 1.
The closest person in his later years is not his wife and children, but himself. Only he is the one who can accompany him to his old age, and only he is the one who treats himself wholeheartedly.
Uncle Zhang is 68 years old this year. He thought he could really get along with his wife after retirement. However, an illness turned his wife into an old man who couldn't take care of herself at all. From then on, Uncle Zhang always has to take care of his wife, help her when walking, stand in front of her when eating, and be careful when speaking, because his wife has become very sensitive. If you are not careful, your wife will lose her temper, and even break the basin and chopsticks, so that even if two people have a particularly good relationship, the days of getting along like this every day will slowly destroy the good memories. Therefore, Uncle Zhang Can only takes care of his wife every day and even accepts her inexplicable temper.
I thought that when I wanted to travel, or when I wanted to take a few days off, I could let my wife stay with my children for the time being. However, children are unable to take good care of their wives because of their busy work and heavy family pressure. The so-called "the heart is willing, but the strength is insufficient". Even if the wife is sent to the child's home, the child can only help to take care of it for a few days, once the time is long. The children feel that they are helping Zhang take care of their mother. This idea makes Zhang feel very uncomfortable. But Uncle Zhang Can understands the children because they are really busy. It is better to take care of your body, adjust your mentality and be a positive person.
In this way, after several years, Uncle Zhang realized that only he is the most reliable person, the closest person, the person who can understand his true inner thoughts and his hard work, and the person who has been with him for the longest time. Therefore, Uncle Zhang often reads "The Three of us" written by Mr. Zhang, because he wants his wife and daughter to leave him early, and then he can accompany the old man according to his own wishes.
02.
As the saying goes, "save grain for hunger and raise children for old age." Therefore, the closest person in his later life is his own child.
Aunt Dong, 60 years old. I have been married to my wife for more than forty years, and I once put up with her laziness for the sake of my children. Later, when I faced my wife, I did nothing all day but ask her for money. The marriage of two people seems to be tied together for the sake of children. Even if it exists in name only, at least children have a home where both parents exist, and grandchildren have grandparents. Therefore, Aunt Dong never expected to rely on her wife to provide for the elderly, and even felt that if her wife didn't ask her for money, she would be happiest in her later years.
But even though the two sides have lost their feelings and even spent most of their lives for each other, Aunt Dong still crustily accepted the marriage. Since neither of them really loved each other and supported each other, what is there to rely on?
Although many people say that raising children is the biggest lie in the world. It is also said that children are people who come to ask for debts in this life, and they don't need to count on them except their parents' selfless efforts.
But Aunt Dong doesn't think so. She thinks children are her spiritual food, she thinks children are her best support, and she also thinks children are invisible crutches. At least when I am sad, I can forget all my troubles when I hear the child say "Mom". I am very happy to hear the child call to ask about her physical condition.
Therefore, the child is not only the sustenance of Aunt Dong, but also the strong backing of her wife when she bullies her. Even if it has nothing to do with his wife, he can only make a living for his children. When the wife is old, she will also have the help and support of her children, which is what Aunt Dong looks forward to most. Therefore, children are not only the pride of Aunt Dong, but also the spiritual food of Aunt Dong and the most sincere supporter when Aunt Dong asks for help.
Therefore, Aunt Dong thinks that when people are old, their closest relatives are their own children.
03.
As the saying goes, a distant relative is not as good as a close neighbor. At a critical moment, helping your neighbor is actually very close.
Aunt Chen, 73, died of illness three years ago. She stayed at home moping and talking very little, so her life was lonely. The children looked worried, so they decided to take her to live in the city. I thought it would be very happy to have children and grandchildren named grandma every day. But when I really arrived at the children's house, I found that they didn't have time to sit down and talk to her for a few hours every day, and the children were very noisy, which made Aunt Chen particularly uncomfortable.
Finally, Aunt Chen decided to go back to the countryside again.
Maybe in the city, in the same unit, the two families are separated by a wall and rarely meet each other. Nodding and smiling when they meet, or even saying nothing, reveals too much indifference and ruthlessness.
But in the countryside, Aunt Chen Can can always feel the help and care of her neighbors. When she gets sick and catches a cold, her neighbors will take the initiative to send a bowl of rice, and she will visit from time to time for fear that something will happen to her because of illness. When it snows in winter, the neighbors will get up early to shovel and sweep the snow for Aunt Chen, lest Aunt Chen slip. Even when she is bored, Aunt Chen will chat with her neighbors and become very close.
To some extent, neighbors know Aunt Chen's daily life and physical condition better than their children. It is not that children are unfilial, but that they are too far away to always pay attention to each other's lives and behaviors. But the neighbors are different. As long as you can give some help, the neighbors can reciprocate accordingly.
As a result, the neighbor's daughter was going to college. Because she couldn't afford the tuition, she took out 5000 yuan from Aunt Chen and gave it directly to her neighbor. Even if the neighbor later wanted to give it back to Aunt Chen, Aunt Chen insisted not to. In the eyes of children, Aunt Chen was very confused. Instead of giving it to relatives, she gave her neighbors 5,000 yuan.
But Aunt Chen knows that at some point, neighbors are also their closest relatives. If you really help your neighbors within your power, they will become relatives and friends. In the future, when you need to take care of yourself, your neighbor is the timely rain, your neighbor is your own flower, and your neighbor is the person you can rely on.
04.
In real life, there is a very controversial question: brothers and sisters or partners? Many people say that brothers and sisters are their closest relatives.
Uncle Liu, 58, decided to divorce his original wife after his children got married, because he had been at odds with his original wife. After living with the original wife for so many years, the two people are constantly in conflict. Sometimes the original wife doesn't cook for him or wash his clothes, let alone communicate with him calmly. So when his life lost faith and motivation, his brothers and sisters always cared for him, supported him and silently guarded him.
After the divorce, Uncle Liu found a new partner. He thinks he knows this wife very well. After all, they don't live far away and often meet each other. But after the marriage, Uncle Liu found that the reorganized family made people more worried, which not only caused great economic differences, but also created more family conflicts. At the time of marriage, 10,000 of Uncle Liu's children disagreed, but Uncle Liu thought that all the children were developing in the city, far away from themselves, and their life consumption concepts were completely different. Why don't you find a new wife and spend your old age happily together?
But the ideal is beautiful and the reality is cruel. The second wife not only thinks about Uncle Liu's savings all the time, but also keeps anything delicious at home for her children, even for the reunion festival. In the end, Uncle Liu not only lost a deposit, but also lost the thoughtfulness of his children. The whole person loses confidence in life, loses confidence in himself and is listless every day. At this time, my brothers and sisters often come to Uncle Liu's house to explain, cook and wash clothes to help him through the most difficult times.
These are brothers and sisters, perhaps for the sake of their family and their usual life, and they seldom visit them. But at the critical moment, brothers and sisters are very United and will try their best to help each other through the difficulties. Let's think of each other, chat and solve problems together. The so-called blood connection, broken bones, connected with tendons.
Although a person can't completely rely on his brothers and sisters, on the basis of relying on himself, let his brothers and sisters become his own dependence, his spiritual sustenance and his closest relatives. Although husband and wife are a family, brothers and sisters are relatives, but at any time, no matter how the relationship between husband and wife, we can not lose the feelings of brothers and sisters. When I am old, looking back at my brothers and sisters who grew up with me, my inner comfort and joy are irreplaceable.
Summary:
Your wife is very close, but not necessarily someone who can accompany you to your old age, and not necessarily someone who can serve you. Of course, having a wife is the happiest thing. We help each other, warm each other, live together and move towards the middle.
However, in a person's life, life circle, social circle and other emotional sustenance are indispensable. Therefore, only by maintaining a good relationship with children and promoting family harmony can we feel the warmth of home; Caring for and understanding with your brothers and sisters, and recalling childhood memories and beautiful things together can keep your memory intact; Being best friends with yourself, adjusting mentality and living actively can usher in a truly happy and elegant old age; Cherish each other and accompany each other with your wife, and the emotional bond in your heart can really settle down.
So everyone's life is different, the family environment is different, the way to deal with emotions is different, and people closest to them will feel different. However, when we try to get close to ourselves, our partners, our brothers and sisters and our children, you will find that there are many people in your life who need to rely on, need kindness and are closest to you.
I hope all the old people in the world are not just one person, but many people, so that their hearts can be stable and their lives can be happy!