I believe many people will be like Peopeo, subconsciously dodge and reject.
Dodging, maintaining a safe physical distance.
Dodging maintains the physical safety distance, while rejecting ensures the psychological safety distance.
This is the social norm for most people.
In the face of strangers, we are accustomed to using indifference as a bullet to isolate all unsafe factors.
But then, someone tries to break the mold.
Not only do they want to talk to you, but they also want to follow you back to your house to talk.
Said a recently launched documentary -
Can I Follow You Home
(hereafter referred to as "Follow You Home")
The setup of "Follow You Home" is frugal.
The crew searches the streets for passersby who are ready to go home, and pays their fare in exchange for the opportunity to go home together to pick up footage and film.
The setup also sounds dangerous.
It's not enough to talk to people, you have to step into their private space to talk to them.
And sure enough, the program had a tough time finding people to interview.
The mere mention of a few questions couldn't keep passersby at bay.
Not to mention getting to the point and asking, "Can I go home with you?
One by one, there is a lot of resistance.
Sometimes it takes more than two hours on the street to find someone willing to open their door.
The first interview was with a girl who had just come out of a game hall after playing a game.
The girl just heard the program team with the request to go home, face written: this is afraid not crazy, right?
Shocked, subconsciously refused.
Later, the girl could not resist the repeated discussions of the program team, called to seek the views of the family, the program team brought back.
On the way home, the program team asked about the girl's parents, the girl is very indifferent: Dad is not in the country.
When she was very young, her mother died of illness, and her father had already reorganized his family, so the girl grew up with her grandparents from the age of seven.
Mentioning the dad also has little impression, usually has not been around, and almost no communication.
The girl's birthday, the father did not say anything, directly send a red envelope.
Hearing these, the program team "fuel", asked, you will feel a little poor?
The girl did not fall into sadness, but said: more happy place.
(Because of) the best grandmother in the world
In this grandchildren, there seems to be no conventional "intergenerational parenting" problems we see.
Grandma is hip.
She doesn't like to watch TV dramas, and when she's not busy, she watches spy movies.
She is used to going to bed late, and loves to listen to Gao Xiaosong's "Xiaoshan" before going to sleep.
The program team was surprised to hear this, "Grandma can ah".
When the mood is bad, it is not like the usual old generation rely on square dancing and playing mahjong to solve, but like to read novels.
The two grandchildren also have no generation gap in the process of getting along, said the grandchildren, in fact, more like girlfriends.
The girl loves to play games, the grandmother never stop. The only thing is that it's not safe for girls to go to Internet cafes at night, so I called my son and asked him to buy a computer for my granddaughter and put it in the house.
The grandmother's nagging complaints, the girl has listened patiently.
Grandma and Grandpa met in the army and got married, mentioning that year, Grandma could not help but mention the problem of the house:
75 years of transfer to the house has not been resolved yet
The girl listened to the side of the heated laugh, the topic of Grandma every day to talk to her once again.
Look down and realize that the girl's good listening should be influenced by the grandmother.
Grandma is also a very good listener, she never take a lot of the old generation of those old views on marriage to ask her granddaughter.
The girl's emotional experience, the grandmother also know exactly.
Even the ambiguous boy sent a microblogging, the girl will ask the grandmother for advice: this kind of how to reply.
The failure of the relationship experience in the grandmother's view is just not yet met the right reliable people.
(Ex-boyfriend) four have伐?
What happened every day fresh, fun things, and what interesting paragraph two people before going to bed to get together to talk about it.
The girl's optimism and cheerfulness comes from the open and tolerant love given by her grandmother.
Do not suffer, because the grandmother gave enough security.
And the other finance lady interviewed in the first program, she moves forward, mostly on her own.
The program team asked if they could follow home, the girl first hesitated, and ultimately, because of sympathy for the rainy day has been squatting for two hours of the program team and faltered.
On the way there, she was still full of haste, wringing her hands and saying, "The main thing is that the place to live is not very good.
The young lady's family is from Jiangsu, and she came to Shanghai to work alone.
In Shanghai, where land is scarce, the budget for renting a room is only 3,000, so if you want to ensure enough personal space, you have to sacrifice the quality of the house to a certain extent.
Though single-family, it still suffers when it comes to bad weather.
The bad thing is that sometimes it leaks a bit
The accommodation is average, though, and there's no way to improve it as a whole, and in your heart of hearts you care about this.
But also did not make do, but still running their own life with care.
Some of the walls of the house are peeling, so she bought paint and painted the walls herself.
Home prepared a toolbox, even hot melt glue gun have, what is broken at home, on their own hands to repair.
When the computer has a problem, the CPU and the graphics card, the girl sounds like a big problem, and she can solve it.
Talking about the last relationship experience, the young lady eyes red a little.
When it came time to talk about marriage, both parents got together to talk, and the result was not happy.
The man's parents because the girl is not local, think the girl is a high climber; the girl's parents because the man's family attitude is really too bad, also not satisfied.
The frustration of falling in love, on the contrary, let her see clearly, in order to settle down and decide to get married itself is the cart before the horse.
She began to rethink what kind of life she should lead.
She bought a lot of outdoor sports equipment, and on weekends, she would go to various outdoor sports with her donkey friends.
She has participated in many competitions, and there are many medals on the wall.
Participating in an outdoor sports program in Hong Kong, more than 100 kilometers, lasted 28 hours, she also gritted her teeth and walked down.
Although life is not perfect, she has been groping her way forward.
Give yourself the life you want within your means and try to live your best life.
Although the show has just appeared in the country, the format is actually nothing new.
Back in 2014, Japan's TV Tokyo started doing this program, with a 9.5 Douban rating.
(Hereafter referred to as "Going to Your House")
The Japanese version also had an observational guest to observe the visit.
Back in February, the show also had Kim Jae-jung as an observing guest.
The guest was brought in and didn't get much footage, mostly appearing in a small box in the upper left and right corners of the screen.
The camera is trained on the passers-by who are being interviewed.
There's Miku, a sweet-smiling teacher of disabled children who's slightly drunk.
Loves to smile because her brother says she smiles brightly and cutely.
Because of her brother's praise, Mihisa smiles every day to cheer herself up for work.
But behind the smile lies a heartbreaking story.
Mihisa's brother is disabled.
He was kind and attentive, always putting others before himself, but he died of the flu shortly after Mihisa's birthday party.
After her brother's death, Mihisa is devastated and often blames herself.
"Because I was always loved by my brother, I want to love others well in the future", and with this thought in mind, Mihisa chose to become a teacher of children with disabilities.
By going to help children who were once like her brother, to try to get herself out slowly.
And then there's 60-year-old Ito, who adjusts the position of his hand-me-downs as the seasons change.
Ito has lived alone in a ramshackle apartment for ten years.
He receives a salary of 250,000 yen per month, his rent is 75,000 yen (about 4,500 RMB) per month, and the rest of his money is spent on drinking and eating, living from day to day.
It seems to be a decadent and unmotivated, but in fact, it is only because of the pleasure.
Ito has changed jobs many times in his life, and has worked in a variety of fields. Sound engineer, celebrity agent, bar owner, bartender, insurance salesman, Kanto cook master, Korean cook ......
Changing jobs is not because of how much money can be earned, but simply because of the interest in the unknown field, the unknown world.
If you don't do it, you don't know do you
There is also Rio, a 20-year-old college student and escort.
Rio is very eloquent and a bit of a people pleaser, and she's the only one who talks to the cameraman the most after watching so many episodes of the show.
When we talked about plastic surgery, the cameraman said, "It's totally fine if you don't do plastic surgery.
Rio's finger pointed: you know it very well.
The photographer said, "It's totally fine if you don't have plastic surgery," and Rio pointed his finger.
But Rio made a choice that many people might not understand.
The reason for choosing to be an escort is that you can make money and drink, and most importantly, have fun. The most important thing is that it's fun. She didn't study seriously in college, and she got into college just to reassure her parents.
What university that is to achieve the goal
The goal is accomplished, but also have a happier job, so almost have not entered the campus, and do not want to graduate.
But the camera pans out and the cameraman finds a lot of hospital-related stuff in her house.
It turns out that Rio, who doesn't appear to have any abnormalities on the surface, was diagnosed with uterine cancer a year ago.
The guests and cameramen were shocked, but Rio was not downcast and the atmosphere did not get heavy after she revealed her illness.
Rio still smiled as she talked about her plan to not have her uterus removed because she still wants the chance to have children.
Nor has she quit her job as an escort, which is instead a way for her to vent her stress.
In the face of these diverse stories of interviewees, the guests and journalists appeared calm and did not preconceive their interviewees.
What it is is what it is, without whitewashing.
And thus some netizens commented -
This is really the best interpretation of existentialism.
Ten minutes of time, showing the interviewee's eating, drinking, chicken hair, waves ......
The camera pans around, presenting in front of the eyes, is the back of the brightly-lit society, the inner world of every small and ordinary people without whitewash and cover up.
As an observational program, Going to Your House showcases a wide variety of lifestyles.
So this is how you can live.
In the corners you and I don't see, in the uncharted world, everyone has their own choices and trajectories.
It is also showing an attitude to life -
It turns out that there are people living like this.
The program once filmed a mother and son who owned a ramen store. The owner rented a place and set up a stall to sell ramen every night.
The ramen stall was small, but he made it fancy.
He would bring his homemade gadgets with him to give the customers a small question in between the chit-chat, and if he got it right, he would give them an egg.
Sometimes the riddle is the title of the song, and the song, his own.
The owner, who doesn't seem to have anything to do with lyrics, has his own lyrics book, called "Dream Notes".
He wrote the lyrics because he wanted to sing himself, a hobby he's kept up since high school (at age 37).
In high school, he wrote a song called "Trail of Dreams", which he always liked, and the lyrics are a reflection of him today.
I left home for my dream
The cold evening wind makes me lonely
I won't stop myself until I can see the light
The boss's dream was to open his own ramen store.
At first he worked at another ramen store and was a pure novice.
When he made fried dumplings, he fried them backwards every time
Wanting to be independent on his own, he quit his part-time job at a ramen store and started selling ramen at a stall.
I started selling ramen at night and arrived home in the early hours of the morning, all year round.
But even so, with a monthly turnover of 1.2 million yen, the net income is only 200,000 (about 12,620RMB).
It's still a long way from opening your own store.
But, in a very touching move, in September 2018, after a year and a half, the crew visited the ramen stall owner again.
By this time he had saved up to open his own ramen store.
The ramen store is still doing a fun job, not only with a larger variety of ramen, but also with a hidden menu.
After opening the ramen store, the owner didn't stop setting up stalls.
The ramen store was open from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. After the store closed, the owner would drive to the stall until 4 a.m. again.
In March 2019, the crew visited the ramen store owner again after six months.
By this time, the owner had decided to open a new store, and the ramen stand made it until the end of March.
This is also a very attractive point to Peopeo.
It's a record of ordinary people's lives, and what we see and hear are random events that are not pre-determined by the program organizers, and are uncontrollable.
Each interviewer is a small point in the trajectory of their own lives.
The program team then re-visited to connect the dots and tell us that, look, he didn't stop moving forward.
Seeing ordinary people get rewarded for their efforts in life is a great encouragement to ordinary people who are still struggling.
But Going to Your House is more than that.
Previously Peopeo had written about a program - Talking to Strangers.
The magic of this real world story is presented by talking to strangers.
The program's interviewees are all "extraordinary" - murderers, alcoholics, killer godfathers, plastic surgery women, goddesses, PUA students ......
Seemingly Much like "Going to Your House", it's all about opening up the psychological defenses of the interviewees. But, it is actually more of a directed communication with prior preparation.
If we say, in "Talking to Strangers", the process of strangers gradually revealing the secrets of their hearts in the interview, let us see, is human nature.
And what Going to Your House shows us is human nature.
In the program, there is an old man in his sixties who has not thrown away garbage for twenty years.
There are also loving couples who have no children and have traveled all their lives.
There is the ordinary life of ordinary people, and there is also the dramatic life under the surface of ordinary people, and there is also the life story of the marginalized people that we have never been in contact with.
And in the midst of all this earthly diversity, the show always remains a dispassionate bystander.
Without interrupting, without interfering, without judging.
Every lifestyle is an attitude to life.
After all, walking in this world, no matter how, there is a cause and effect, not right or wrong.