Zero One
I saw a plea for help on the Internet that said: "My husband and I were introduced to each other and got married, and my husband after marriage is a very addicted gambler.
Once he played, he would turn off the phone, and nothing could affect him.
Even our family's living expenses and expenses, are I went out to struggle to earn, my husband simply do not care about these.
At that time, the child is still small, do not want to give her an incomplete home, has been enduring so live on.
The reason for our divorce is that my husband cheated on me for the second time with a woman who was four years older than him and had a child.
I am a traditional person, I do not want to share the love of the same man with another woman.
The night after the divorce was finalized, my husband moved in with the woman. I was in this house, lying alone on the big bed, feeling lonely and sad.
Thinking that I am already fifty years old, if it goes on like this, when I am old, I don't even have a person to accompany me, I can't help but feel a burst of sadness in my heart.
So in the divorce twenty days later, I live with my husband again, he promised me on the surface with each other to cut off the clean, but privately he is still with each other to contact.
On the one hand, I want to get back with him, but also to the unmarried children to create a family reunion phenomenon, on the other hand, I am sick and tired of him from the heart and the fact that other women have sex.
Now I am really torn in my mind, I don't know what to do.
Zero two, immature thinking: want to break, reason is still messy
After reading your story, my first impression is that you live to nearly fifty years old, have not lived this life to understand, too sad!
Now that you've divorced him, your first discomfort is that your ex-husband is contacting another woman you're uncomfortable with.
To realize that you have been divorced, he has other women have what kind of communication or relationship, that is also very common things, you have no right to interfere, he also has nothing to do with you.
Women mostly belong to the emotional animal, they no matter what they do, all like to rely on their own feelings.
As has been living together for many years of couples, whether it is their habits, or ideas, or people, have been familiar with each other, accustomed to.
Maybe they are sweet and harmonious, maybe they are quarrelsome, or maybe they are gambling and cheating into sex.
As long as there was no decisive divorce, then later in life, will slowly erase each other's thoughts on the angles and character of the sharp, become slowly adapted to, and accepted the existence of the other side of the body of all that should not be.
Suddenly, one day, he realized that the wrong party is really too much, and in the heat of the moment decided to divorce.
After the divorce she is again in pain and does not adapt to all this life. There is a language on the Internet called: divorced women who do not leave home.
That is to say, the kind of behavior has been divorced, but from the mind, but also still consider each other as their other half.
But the truth is that once the other half gets the divorce papers, he feels that he has no relationship with you.
If you fall too deep from the thought, you will ultimately lose yourself.
So women must think clearly why you want to divorce. Must be away from the dry and crisp, thorough, to ensure that there is not a little too much entanglement with each other, otherwise your divorce is meaningless.
Zero Three is too dependent on the man, always wanting to find happiness in others.
Such a bet on the fight, on the two ears do not hear outside the window, life are dependent on you to go out to fight to feed the people, after half a lifetime, he is how you, you still do not understand?
Now also refers to rely on you to live that, which also from time to time to get you some things to disgust you. He is so "companion" you, wait until your old age, he can still clean up, conscience, do a good man?
In the face of such a real scum, you still want him to stay, but also with her to play the phenomenon of the family integrity, you are looking for abuse? Or are you just teasing us?
It is true that stupid people, regardless of age. Wise people do things basically with a clear mind; ignorant people always give expectations on those minuscule ones.
Zero Four, wanting to give your child the phenomenon of a superficially intact family.
The last reason you don't want to get divorced is that you want to create an appearance of family integrity, for your son.
Then have you ever thought: you can't live well yourself, and you expect your child to learn from you. Do you want your child to do as his father did? Or do you want your child to worry about you all day long because you're not doing well?
Your child is already a child who is about to get married, at least in his twenties, he is already an adult, he should be a thoughtful, responsible man, you think that you and your ex-husband this kind of acting can deceive his eyes?
On the contrary, you are this kind of cowardice and ignorance, as well as not dare to face the reality, bravely go out and live their own lives, only know the compromise, tolerate the compromise, let the child from the bottom of the heart to look down on you.
You think not divorcing is for the good of the child? But what kind of marital state are you presenting to your children? This state will mislead the child to think that all marriages under the sky, maybe it should be like this!
Because of your lack of confidence and bravery, the child has a wrong perception of marriage, and in the future, he will have his own girlfriend, get married and get along with his other half, and in the invisible will be subconsciously, according to the way you go.
Do you want your children to be like you in the future, and the family can not get real happiness?
Nowadays, using children as an excuse not to divorce abounds. When the child is small, said the child is too poor, not a complete home, can not bear to divorce.
When the child grows up a little, and said, afraid of delaying the child's learning, do not want to distract the child, and not divorce.
Now the child is about to get married, and said, want to give the child to create a complete home atmosphere.
So is it that you want to not divorce for the sake of your child, or is it that you are simply ignorant and can't stay away from this scum?
You have a job that earns you money, and your child is an adult, so what do you have to worry about?
You have a job, you can earn money, the child is a man, what do you have to worry about?
Are you looking for abuse?
Your child has become a man, let him fight for his own life. You just don't mess it up for him.
You can earn money to spend on yourself, and after work, you can find a few of your old sisters to go out and drink tea and chat, shopping and consumption.
Otherwise, the evening square dance about up, go to the square dance together, both fitness, but also physical and mental pleasure, do not mention how free and easy.
As long as you go out, maybe you will also meet their favorite people, talk about a twilight love, feel the feeling of real love.
A person's view of things lies entirely in their own perception of the whole thing. In the body of the person, is sad or happy, is sad or lucky, in fact, all in your mind.
As long as the cognition is achieved, your heart will be released. Your life will also change with your cognition, the change of your mind.
Do you want to be the sad one who binds himself for the rest of his life and live in a state of resignation?
Or do you want to look forward, believe in yourself, and even if you're wrong, you'll be brave enough to get up, walk out of the wrong circle, and walk towards a better tomorrow? In fact, all by your cognition to decide.
As long as you use positive thinking to see things, timely self-reflection, there are mistakes to change, not to add encouragement, you will get better and better, the more you live the more confident.
Original is not easy, please hand to stay, point a praise praise, thank you!