At this point, the beautiful MM along the pool side, found that there is a difference, and grabbed a sign to cover the key parts ...... at this point, the boys laughed!
Pretty MM feel strange, and later found that the sign says "men only", quickly change the face.
But when she changed her face, the men laughed even louder, and it turned out that the sign said "here two meters deep"!
The ants were walking in the forest when they suddenly came across an elephant, and the ants rushed into the soil and stretched out one leg.
The white rabbit was curious and asked: what are you doing?
The ants said quietly to it:
Shhh ...... don't make a sound, look at me to trip a heel ......
Commanding officer: good comrades! Soldier: Good day, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said: This muscle is well-trained! Soldier: Report to the chief, I am a female soldier
1. The rabbit said, "My mom called me Bunny Bunny, good to hear!"
Piggy said, "My mom calls me Piggy Piggy, and that's nice too!"
Puppy said, "My mommy calls me Puppy Dog, and that's nice too!"
The chick said, "You guys talk, I'll go first!"
The bunny said, "I was raised by a rabbit lady!"
The little pig said, "I was raised by a pig's mother!"
The chick said, "I was raised by the chicken lady!"
The puppy said, "You guys talk, I'll go first!"
The cat said to me, "I'm your grandma's cat, good to hear!"
The dog said to me, "I'm your grandmother's dog, good to hear too!"
The fish said to me, "I'm your grandma's fish, and it sounds good too!"
The bear said, "You guys talk, I'll go first!"
The ronin said, "People call me the ronin, and it's nice!"
The samurai said, "People call me the martial artist, and that's nice too!"
The master said, "People call me the High Man, and that's nice too!"
The swordsman said, "You guys talk, I'll go first!"
Lin says: "Fans who worship me say: my idol's name is Ying"
Lew says: "Fans who worship me say: my idol's name is Wah"
Xueyou Zhang says: "The fans who worship me all say: my idol is called Yau"
Chen Xiaochun says: "You guys chat, I'm leaving first!"
The higher mathematics teacher said: this semester I teach higher mathematics,
The university physics teacher said: this semester I teach big matter,
The information management teacher said: this semester I teach capital management,
The socio-economic teacher said: you guys chat, I'll go first.
The Peking University one said: I am from Peking University.
The one from Tianjin University said: I am from Tianta University.
Shanghai University's says: I'm from Shanghai University.
The one from Xiamen University said: You guys talk, I'll go first!
General Li Zongren said: I, for one, have benevolence!
General Fu Zuoyi said: I, this person, have righteousness!
General Yu Dawei said: I am a man of action!
General Huo Zuoyi said: You guys talk, I'll go first!
The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of logs, Lao Zhang said: my door is wooden
The door of Lao Li's house is made of plastic, Lao Li said: my door is plastic
The door of Lao Wang's house is made of stone, Lao Wang said: my door is stone
The door of Lao Liu's house is made of steel, Lao Liu said: you guys talk, I'll go first!
White Jade said: my name is White Jade.
The turquoise jade said, My name is Jasper.
The red jade says: My name is Red Jade.
The apricot-colored one said, You guys talk, I'll go first!
The student from the teacher's college said: I'm from the teacher's college
The student from the vocational college said: I'm from the vocational college
The student from the air college said: I'm from the air college
The student from the air college said: I'm from the air college
The student from the Technical College says: You guys talk, I'll go first!
2. The county party secretary: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No more pickles, pickles are too expensive!" (Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! No more speeches, we're in session!) After the county secretary has finished speaking, the host says: "Pickles please, sausages and pickles!" (Interpreter: The prefect will now speak!) The prefect says: "Rabbits, today's meal dogs eat, everyone is a big wanker!" (Interpreter: Comrades, today's meal is enough, everyone make big bowls!) (Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. -----) (Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. ------) (Translation: This is a dog shit that someone may have eaten) (Interpreter: This is a story someone might know.) Prefect: can't eat also don't be anxious (know can't also don't be anxious) Prefect: I'll pull for you now--
3. One day, the teacher walked into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!"
The teacher said indignantly, "Only good morning? What about my afternoon? Is that bad?"
So the students shouted again in unison, "Good afternoon teacher!"
The teacher said indignantly again, "What about my evening?"
The students again shouted in unison, "Good evening teacher!"
The teacher nodded and said, "That's better, now shout it again!"
The students shouted in unison, "Good morning teacher, good afternoon, and good evening!"
The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we're going to review antonyms, and we'll practice like this, I'll say a sentence and you'll say the antonym out loud. Now begin."
The teacher: "It's a beautiful day."
Student: "It's a bad day."
Teacher: "The sun is shining everywhere."
Student: "It's cloudy everywhere."
Teacher: "The roads are crowded."
Student: "The road was empty."
Teacher: "Young."
Student: "Old."
Teacher: "Stand up."
Student: "Lay down."
Teacher: "There was a young man standing on the road."
Student: "There was an old man lying down on the road."
Teacher: "I found a dollar bill."
Student: "I lost a dollar."
Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."
Student: "I lost a dollar and went to steal it from the teacher."
Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!"
Student: "Correct, you should say that!"
Teacher: "Wrong."
Student: "Correct."
Teacher: "That's not okay, it's illegal!"
Student: "That's OK, it's legal behavior!"
Teacher: "I said wrong."
Student: "We say right."
Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher says is correct!"
Student: "Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong!"
Teacher: "You guys are stupid."
Student: "We're smart."
Teacher: "Stop!"
Student: "Continue!"
Teacher: "You stop now! Stop talking!"
Student: "We continue now! And talk!"
Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!"
Student: "We're all geniuses, we say continue!"
Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!"
Student: "The teacher listens to us!"
Teacher: "All students must listen to the teacher!"
Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!"
Teacher: "Now you stop practicing!"
Student: "Now we'll keep practicing!"
Teacher: "Are you guys not finished?"
Student: "We have a beginning and an end!"
Teacher: "Then you guys stop! Stupid pigs!"
Student: "Then we should continue! Genius!" ...... After that the teacher angrily hugs his books for the rest of the day .
4.--Aries
Mom often admonished Sheep, "No swinging while wearing a skirt; otherwise, little boys will see the little panties inside!" One day, the sheep was happy to say to his mother: "Today I and Xiaoming race swinging, I won!" Mom said angrily, "Didn't I tell you? Don't swing when you wear a skirt!" Sheep said proudly, "But I'm so smart! I took my little panties off inside so he couldn't see my little panties!"
--Taurus
Melon vendor: "Come and eat watermelon, don't pay if it's not sweet!"
Hungry Bull: "Wow! Great, boss, have one that's not sweet!"
--Gemini
Mom told Shuangshuang to get up, "Hurry up! The rooster has crowed several times!"
Shuang Shuang said, "What does a rooster crowing have to do with me? I'm not a hen!"
--Cancer
On the bus, Crab said, "I want to sleep with my mom tonight!" Mom asked, "Will you also sleep with mom when you get married in the future?" Crabby didn't think twice: "Uh-huh!" Mom asked again, "What about your daughter-in-law?" Crabby thought for half a day and said, "Good idea, let her sleep with daddy!" Mom: "! @#$%^&*(......-"
Looking at dad again, he was already in tears!
--Leo
Lion went to his grandmother's birthday banquet. When it was time to eat the birthday buns, Lion-Lion asked, "Why are we eating these birthday buns that look like asses?" The crowd turned pale at this. Then Lion Lion opened the birthday bun, looked at the bean paste inside, and said, "Grandma, look! There's poop inside!" The crowd fainted and vomited.
--Virgo
Virgo was curious about the bellybutton and asked his father about it. Dad briefly explained the reasoning behind the umbilical cord connecting the fetus to the mother's body, saying, "After the baby leaves the mother's body, the doctor decreases the umbilical cord and ties it in a knot, which later becomes the bellybutton." Branch: "Then why didn't the doctor tie a bow?"
--Libra
The father said to Tin-Tin, "Don't go to school today, but last night... your mom gave you two brothers. Your mom gave you two brothers. Just tell your teacher."
Tian Tian replied, "Dad, I only said I gave birth to one; I want to save the other one for next week!"
--Scorpio
Scorpion had just fallen asleep when a mosquito stung him. He got up to chase the mosquitoes away, but he couldn't get rid of them. So he pointed at the mosquito and said, "Okay, if you don't go out, I'll go out!" Side by side out of the room, shut the door firmly and said triumphantly: "Humph! I do not enter the house tonight, must starve you to death!"
--Sagittarius
Sagittarius: "Dad, why do you have so many gray hairs?" Dad: "Because you misbehaved, that's why dad has so many gray hairs ah." Shot: ...... (puzzled) Shot: "Then why does grandpa have all gray hair?" Dad:! @#$%^&* (......
--CAPRICORN
One day, Capricorn went to the street with his mom; while walking on the road, it suddenly started to rain.
Mom took Capricorn's little hand and said, "It's raining, run forward ah!"
Capricorn asked slowly, "Then it's not raining in front of you!"
(Capricorn who understands the reality and is too lazy to change)
--Aquarius
Bottle asked her mother, "Why do you call Mr. Chiang 'ancestor'?"
Mom said, "Because 'forefathers' is a term of endearment for the dead."
Bottle said, "And isn't a dead grandmother to be called 'Fresh Milk'?"
(The natural alternative, brain thinking is always different from normal people's water bottle)
--Pisces
Dad told Fish about how he used to starve when he was a child.
After hearing this, Fish, with tears in both eyes, asked very sympathetically, "Oh, Dad, did you come to our
home because you didn't have any food to eat?"
5.
[turn]Joke 2 (turn)
A language teacher of Shandong origin read aloud to his students an old poem by Lu You titled "Crouching Spring" and asked them to dictate it.
The language teacher read aloud as follows A student dictated as follows
"Crouching Spring" "I'm stupid"
Dark plums and flowers, I'm uneducated
Crouching branches hurt the bottom of the hate, I'm very low IQ,
Remote lying like the water, ask me who I am,
Easy to penetrate the spring green. A big dumb ass.
The shore is green, I'm a donkey,
The shore is green, I'm a donkey,
The shore is green, I'm a donkey,
The shore is green, I'm a donkey,
The shore is green.
Lying in the spring, I am stupid,
Lying in the plum and smelling the flowers, I have no culture
Tent weaving and painting in the middle of the sky. I only know how to farm.
The fish kissed the water of the rock, and asked who I was,
and the rock answered with the green of spring. I am a big stupid donkey
6.
[Turn]Funny
1. Title: While ...... While ...... The child wrote: He took off his shirt while putting on his pants. (Teacher's comment: Is he going to take off or put on?)
2. Topic: textbooks
The child writes: Classes are supposed to be boring. (Teacher's comment: You have to pay attention in class.)
3. Topic: Innocence
Children wrote: It's so hot today. (Teacher's comment: You are so naive.)
4. Topic: One of them
Children write: One of my left feet is hurt. (Teacher's comment: You are a centipede?)
5. Topic: You see
Kids write: What are you looking at! I haven't seen it! (Teacher's comment: Don't be too arrogant!)
6. Sentence-making as usual Example: You (sing) and I (dance)
Children write: You (good) and I (very good) (Teacher's comment: Are you writing an English translation?)
7. Make sentences as usual Example: People praise me (), but in fact I ()
Kids write: People praise me (very handsome), but in fact I (am wearing a mask). (Teacher's comment: What mask works so well?)
8. Topic: One after another
Kids write: After work, dad came back one after another. (Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?)
9. Topic: first ...... and then ...... Example: Eat first and then take a bath.
Kids write: goodbye, sir!
10. skin open
Kids write: the night of the blackout, everywhere is very dark, I was so scared that my skin was open! (Teacher's comment: When I saw this, I admired you.)
11. Title: Thriving - a metaphor for growing beautifully.
Children write: My brother is thriving. (Teacher's comment: Child, is your brother a vegetable?)
There is an even better one. Children write: thriving glory glory confession. (Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many serials.)
12. Title: Fruitful
Kids write: Yesterday I ate fruit and then drank cold water. (Teacher's comment: This is a phrase and cannot be separated to make a sentence.) The child added: Teacher I haven't finished yet, and sure enough at night I had diarrhea! (Teacher .........)
13. Title: Yummy
Kids write: Yummy my ass. (Teacher's comment: ......)
14.Topic: Besides
Kids write: a train passes by, besides, besides, besides, besides ...... (Teacher ......
7. A man went to the public **** restroom, the person next to him happened to be on the phone, said: "You came?" The man felt very strange, thought: this person how ah, on the toilet also asked me to come. So he said, "Yes, I'm here." The guy next to him says, "What are you doing here?" The guy thinks, "What are you doing in the bathroom? He says, "Of course I came to take a dump." The guy next to him says, "When are you leaving?" He said, "Of course I'm leaving after I'm done pooping." "Are you coming to see me afterward?" Are you crazy? I'm going to visit you after I take a dump?"" Or I'll come and see you!" The man said: "You're crazy, I'm going to visit you after I'm done with my poop, and you're coming to see me, what kind of person is that?" The person next to me finally couldn't help it, so he said to the other side: "I hang up first ah, I have a psycho next to me, I say a sentence, he has to answer a sentence, really! Alas!"
8. One day, the teacher asked Ming: "1 + 1 =?" The teacher asked him to go back and ask his parents. Xiaoming first went to ask his father, who was speculating in the stock market, and said, "Up, up!" Then he asked his mother, who was arguing with a neighbor and said, "Don't worry about it." Ming asked his grandfather, who was singing, "Forward, forward!" Ming asked his sister, who was in love. First she said, "Honey, where are we going?" Then she said, "Let's go, honey!" Xiaoming had no choice but to ask his brother, who was playing with a toy and said, "I'm Donkey Kong!"
The next day, the teacher asked Ming 1+1=?
The next day, the teacher asked Ming, "1+1=?" and Ming said, "Up, up!" The teacher said: "What are you talking about?" Xiao Ming said: "None of your business!" The teacher said, "Go to the back of the classroom!" Ming said, "Forward, forward!" After class, the teacher said, "Come with me!" Ming said, "Honey, where are we going?" The teacher said, "To my office!" Ming said, "Let's go, honey!" The teacher got mad and said, "Who do you think you are?" Ming replied, "I'm Donkey Kong!" After saying that,the teacher was furious!!!!
9. One day, Xiaoming's grandfather was sick, and his mother asked Xiaoming to write a letter to him.
The letter should have read as follows:
Grandpa:
You are sick, you need to eat more, eat more nutritious food, uncle, aunt, father, mother to send things should not be wasted, so that your health will be better.
Grandson: Xiao Ming
And Xiao Ming wrote:
00:
You birth 0, you have to eat more 0, eat nutritious 0 uncles, 0 aunts, dads, moms sent 00 more not to waste, so that your 0 body will be good.
0 son: Xiaoming
This letter was received by the grandfather, he read:
Eggs:
You have eggs, you should eat more eggs, eat more nutritious eggs, uncles, aunts, dads, moms sent to the eggs should not be wasted, so that your eggs will be good.
Eggs:Xiaoming
Grandpa read, thought one day, it rained, Dad said to his son: "Son, if someone comes to borrow an umbrella, you reject him, I first hide in the room!" As soon as Dad hid in his room, a man came to borrow an umbrella, and his son said, "No, if you borrow one and he borrows another, we won't have any umbrellas in our house!" And the man left. Dad came out and said, "This is what you should say: 'There is an umbrella, but the bones are broken and the skin is torn, so I would have thrown it away long ago.'" Dad said and went back inside. At that time, the neighbor came to borrow a cat, and the son said, "There is a cat, but its bones are broken and its skin is torn, so I threw it away a long time ago!" The neighbor left. Dad came out again and said, "You should have said, 'Recently the cat is weak and is going to have kittens and is tied up in the storehouse.'" After that, Dad went back into his room. At this time, the father's colleague came to look for the father, the son said: "Recently, the father's health is weak, to have a baby, is in the warehouse chained it!" The coworker laughed and left, and dad was furious and fainted in his room!!!! Xiao Ming was scolding him, then angry