Husband often does not come home at night, is it normal

Men who do not come home, most of the women will encounter this problem. Before the marriage like glue, but after the marriage began to slowly become the most familiar strangers. They don't come home for dinner. They are out there with countless parties, dinners, countless can't-get-out-of-the-way-can't-not-go occasions, and it seems like every time the reason is so justified because you need him, the backbone of the family, to be out there fighting. You trust him, rely on him, but unconsciously feel that he is getting farther and farther away from him, why? Girls who are not married will also think about this question. When two people are together every day, will they get so bored that they want to run away? Home is a place where there is no distance, and if two people live so close, so close that they suffocate, their hearts will grow farther and farther apart. No one wants to face this kind of problem. But doesn't know what to do. I don't want to live like this anymore, she said Siqin from Shanghai said, "I've been in love with my husband for 3 years, married for 4 years and have a 2-year-old daughter. I feel like I'm leading an abnormal life. My husband never eats at home and doesn't come home until after 10pm every night. He says he eats and hangs out with friends every day after work and doesn't want to come home, and he doesn't know why. With my husband's lesser company, I am afraid it will be detrimental to my daughter's physical and mental development, and I don't want to live like this." Falling in love with a person who does not come home In the psychological counseling studio is often contacted with similar topics, why the other side will be such a choice, why the husband will have an affair and derailment, yesterday received a consulting phone call, said that her husband often does not come home at night, and there is no topic of communication with each other, and they do not have the heart to take care of it, and would like to consult on the question of what is wrong with her husband, and each other and whether there is any possibility of salvaging the situation, and in the past, the two have always been In the past, the two have been in love, each other very care, especially their own very enjoy the husband's pampering and care, they do not want to give up, but also how can not understand, promised to love their own life husband in the marriage soon do not want to go home. I remember there is a song "Love a man who does not come home", is there really such a thing in life? I would like to know when did your husband become like this? If the relationship was distant when you fell in love, then you can't blame him alone, who knows if it's just your innate need for distance that made you choose such a man. Sometimes thinking about why such a man would happen to you might lead to some unexpected self-awareness. The original you didn't like clingy men, so you looked at him. After having a daughter, due to the depth of attachment with your daughter, so that your ability to intimate attachment with others has been enhanced, the early years in the relationship with parents in the sense of isolation is repaired, but the man did not change, as if the dance you change the steps he is still the original rhythm, the problem should be *** with the same to bear. If the husband's behavior occurs after marriage, especially after having a child, then the main problem may be that he can not adapt to such a change in role. On the one hand, pregnancy changes your body shape, and some sensitive men may develop a psychosexual tendency to be "castrated" (psychoanalytic term). Many psychologically fragile men do not rekindle their love and fascination for their wife's body until 2-3 years after she stops breastfeeding completely. Another possibility is that your husband had a traumatic experience of forced separation from his mother's attachment in his early years. Your childbearing and breastfeeding may have awakened unprocessed feelings in him, and a childlike defense may have resurfaced in his relationship with you. To deal with the former situation you need to work hard to improve your body, grooming your appearance, so that youth and vitality from every pore of your radiation, to stimulate his desire for you will be able to cure his "psychological impotence". The latter situation requires you to remind him that you need him, active attachment may help him slowly repair the early trauma. You need to find a good aunt to replace you, when he comes home to focus on with him to attach together, so that men feel that he is your dearest person, not a child. Of course, even if this is done you can not eagerly desire the man to change soon, the reason is that people are very complex, human behavior once more will have inertia, this man does not home maybe there are those men and women colleagues appreciate and support, so in quite a while you also have to learn to gently insist.