I opened a store in the commercial area of a park in my hometown for 10 years, and some aunts often came to sit in my store, some of them were mothers of mothers, some were mothers of mothers-in-law, and they had a **** the same mission, which was to watch the children. They often chat with each other about all sorts of things, all sorts of problems, and the one thing they have in common is that I will be liberated when this little grandchild goes to kindergarten. Why do most aunts say this, summarized in the following reasons.
One: Many mothers come to their children to look after their children out of necessity. Children have just started a family, there is a mortgage car loan to pay for the economic tension, with a child spending is even greater, must be two people to earn money at full throttle, the child no one to see how to do it? Hire a nanny spending a lot of money is not assured, the most economical is to ask the mother to look after the child, if the mother does not help in the heart, as if it is not responsible for, no way to help them. But mothers also have their own home their own things ah, some of the family has an old man hanging on, some are put down their own work to support the young people, some rural mothers have to plant in the spring and fall harvest it, the family is also raising poultry and livestock it, the husband is too busy for one person, often complaining, they really can not put both ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends of the two ends, not pleasing, after three to four years I have to go back to take care of their own homes.
Second: many mothers and young people do not agree. The main manifestation of parenting view, taste, consumerism, work and rest time, hygiene habits, and so on.
There is an aunt who said: "I said that this temperature is suitable for milk powder, my daughter said that the computer said how many degrees, I this is not scientific, you say that the computer know how to bring children? I don't know science, how did your siblings grow up, the wind blew them up? Sometimes I really want to give up and leave."
Here an aunt immediately pick up the mouth: "You that is okay, our family two young people, every day holding a cell phone does not let go, to the phone smile, on the contrary, it is rare for us to have a smile. You say are parents of people Saturday night to play to one or two o'clock before coming back, in the morning I do a good job of cooking a wait does not get up, the second wait does not get up, no way to go to knock on the door, get up is up, the daughter-in-law face pulled to the ground, said I noisy she slept, Sunday and do not work so early to get up for what, you say are nine o'clock, is still early, I get up at six o'clock, cleaned up all the things that were not going to wait for them to get up! I got up at six o'clock, cleaned up everything, was not going to wait for them to get up to take the child to the park, but you go back at twelve o'clock, they may not have gotten up, or else they just ate the dishes are waiting for you to go back to the collection, and sometimes said to get up and the food is cold are too lazy to heat up a little bit, and simply go to downstairs to eat the rice noodle, making me have to eat the leftovers, do not you think that I have to knock them up to finish eating with me so that I can clean up together, I do not care about whether you are high or not, the child on the kindergarten I would rush to withdraw, to see you I don't care if you're happy or not, the child is in kindergarten and I'm just going to get out of here and see what you do.
Here just finished, an aunt over there can not wait to hurry to pick up: "Yesterday my daughter-in-law to buy a skirt, thin, short on the cost of more than a thousand dollars, you say that this dozens of dollars a skirt full of streets, not the same to wear it? Even if you work to save face and buy a couple hundred or two hundred or three hundred is not bad, more than a thousand dollars a skirt, have so much money might as well hire a nanny also save me worry. Called her to take the money to buy food she also said, and run out ah, so fast, she thought I hid her money, honestly, I do not know how much of my own money into the sticker, hey! The child went to kindergarten I was liberated, out of sight, out of mind."
"Hey! It's like this, we are a group of people ah are here to suffer,." Next to an aunt and began to pour bitter water: "My son-in-law bar from childhood pampered, life is very demanding, I bar every day to change the pattern of cooking dishes he had to pick, sometimes said I chicken stewed too old, sometimes said the salt put too salty, sometimes said that the dish collocation unscientific, sometimes said that the rest of the dishes can not eat, oops! All kinds of faults, simply picking bones in the egg. I said I can not serve you, ask your mother to serve you, he also said I do not keep up with the times. Do you think I'm wrong? If I were a senior chef or nutritionist, could you afford to hire me? I'm still suffering to serve you this family, really fed up, next fall the little treasure will go to kindergarten, I will also be easy."
Three: Many daughters-in-law or sons-in-law look down on their spouse's mother. There is an aunt to speak up to cry: "My daughter-in-law, graduate of a prestigious university, her parents do business, there are a few money, she is the only daughter, a princess disease, every day like a proud little hen, eyes do not want to look at me more. My son is not bad! We both face to the soil back to the sky also put the son to the university, or a book it! They got married and bought a house we put together a pot of money to give them a down payment, and now my old man is still working as a plasterer in the countryside to pay off the bills! What makes her look down on me? She said that I didn't wash the dishes cleanly and soak them in salt, and then she said that I didn't wash my clothes by hand and didn't separate the colors, and then she said that I didn't dress well, and that I didn't have the right level of language, and that I didn't have any face when I went out with her, as if she was married off to my son, and that he was at a great disadvantage, and that made it difficult for him to find excuses for not coming home. What do you think I'm doing? My old man has to work as a plasterer at home, cook and wash his own food, and find time to grow vegetables, and I have to work so hard here and look at my face to be angry, so I'm the one who is at a disadvantage! You do not know, to me is cold but to her puppy can be affectionate, and is hugged and kissed, often give the puppy a bath, blowing hair, a variety of toys and clothes, dog food, their own children do not seem to have been so concerned, always feel that the child is my thing. I also want the baby on the kindergarten to hurry back home, the golden nest is not as good as my own kennel!"
Four: There are even older people to take care of at home.
Next to a more gentle-looking aunt said, "Hey, it's like this, the young people and our generation have a different view of things, which is what they call the generation gap. Our family situation is different, I used to be a high school teacher, my daughter-in-law is one of my students, watching her grow up we are still relatively compatible, even if there is something different opinions can be mutual understanding, tolerance. I still have an old mother to support, she has almost eighty, my husband is not very good at cooking, the old man sometimes have to cook for her son to eat, I'm also in the heart of ah, in case of a fall bump bump, how can I explain to a few sisters. Originally I wanted to bring the little treasure back home to the kindergarten, son in law and can not afford, I also wait for the little treasure on the kindergarten to go back home."
Fifth: Watching children is too hard. Nowadays, the child is so precious, unlike the first time to bring their own children, but not only to see this small child, but also to serve the two big children, inside and outside of a hand, exhausting work has not been recognized by the young people, most of the young people feel that they work hard, the mother with a child is not hard, think that the mother with a child is a natural right. Some mothers are even exhausted and sick, just want to escape quickly back to their hometown, where there is a sense of belonging, there is my land I am the master of the pride of ownership. Isn't it true that distance creates beauty? Keep a distance from the young people, in order to live in peace.
Let's all say "Mom, you've worked hard, thank you!" to the old folks watching the kids.
Hello, I am the lotus hoe planting fragrance people. I'm happy to answer your question.
First of all, the mother's come to the children to see the children, both heartbroken children, but also the arrival of grandchildren full of joy, seems to have taken on another must bear the responsibility. During this time, the mother was busy, happy, watching the little life grow day by day. Finally, one day, the little one from babbling, to run all the way into the kindergarten, and stepped into the elementary school.
From then on, the mother's burden is unloaded, idle mind, suddenly felt that they are in the children's home, the heart does not feel down-to-earth. It is not that the children are not filial, but in their own living environment is used to, change an environment in the heart seems to have no root.
Then again, in the son's home, how good the daughter-in-law, after all, is not a daughter, the heart is always separated from the veil. In the daughter's home, the son-in-law how filial, after all, is not a son, talking about will inevitably think about the points. The first time, the mother is also tired.
There are also young couples, it is inevitable that sometimes for the life of the lock thing to mix a few words. The mother will also be anxious to hear.
So my mother still wants to go back to her old house, on the one hand, fewer people quiet, on the other hand, they do their own master, free.
My mother once said to me that the home of the children is not the home of the parents. The home of the parents is always the home of the children. Then respect the old man's idea and come home often.
A lot of parents to the children in the city to the children to see the child up, back home, I summarize the reasons for the following:
1, longing to breathe fresh air, longing for the rural free and easy life.
The old man in the countryside living a life of idleness, in order to children have to make sacrifices, all the way to the city to bring children, rural and city the most important difference is that there is no communication between neighbors, the countryside is the love of folks strung out, this less onions, that the garden on the plucking, the city is the neighbors just nodded, the old man is not adapted.
City traffic, factory stores, so the air is not good, rural air is fresh, natural oxygen bar.
2, living habits are different, the gold nest, silver nest is not as good as their own nest.
The elderly and young people first of all, the concept of time is different, the elderly late to bed early, young people stay up late at night.
Eating habits are different, the elderly like soft, young people love to eat hard food.
The elderly to help look after the children, some of the old partner thrown in the old home, the children do not know to sympathize with the children, household chores all dumped on the elderly, and tired but also stick money.
The grandchildren are big, finally free, back to the earth nest as the head of the family.
3, mother-in-law or son-in-law, mother-in-law can not get along.
The daughter-in-law is clean, not accustomed to the mother-in-law's slovenliness; or the mother-in-law is clean, not accustomed to the daughter-in-law's things thrown away, work is not done, bullying their own son.
The son-in-law is not accustomed to the mother-in-law doting on the child, protect the daughter; mother-in-law is not accustomed to the son-in-law lazy, do not take care of household chores and so on.
For the grandchildren can endure, grandchildren grow up, out of sight, out of mind, hurry home.
I'm a pot of autumn color @ a pot of autumn color Put the time over into a poem, daily broken.
Why do some parents go back home after watching their children? What are all the reasons?
Now a lot, if the couple are both dual-income, then the care of children must have a party of the elderly or to hire a nanny to solve the problem, in China, this national situation, the vast majority of the elderly to replace the role of the caregiver in general care, the child from the birth of the beginning of the kindergarten, elementary school, high school, and finally the vast majority of the elderly still have to go home, why? The first thing that you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The old home is the place where he has lived all his life, where there are people he is familiar with, things, lifestyles, habits, etc., and where he is more comfortable, and in old age, with his own peer group together is also talking and laughing, and participate in the square dance is also more relaxed.
The children have grown up, and feel that their contribution to the family has been less, because when the children on the middle school after the vast majority of children can take care of themselves, even if the parents go to work, as long as the noon to the children to arrange a good lunch, or their own back can be solved, so this time the elderly feel that it is still back to their own, the circle of life is more comfortable.
A situation is to take care of the child is, the woman one to the city to help take care of the child, and then the other party is stranded in the old home, and then when the child grows up, the old man still want to return to their homes and old age with their partners *** with the pension, every day there is a companion is also good. Reasonable, children have to work, children have to go to school, every day the elderly accompanied by time is not a lot, rather than their own home at ease.
There are also old people are always nostalgic, the so-called falling leaves return to their roots, falling leaves return to their roots is the meaning of this, the older the more nostalgic the person is the place where they initially live, so many old people when the child has slowly grown up, they are still willing to return to their original life circle.
In fact, in China until the 1990s, there were no in-laws, or parents-in-law to help their children with their children's habits. It was usually the men who went out to make money, and the women who stayed home to do the housework.
Because, for a long time, the Chinese men, is able to make, one person work, to support a family of several people.
But in the 1990s, the situation changed, and only when two people went to work were they able to support a family of three or four, and when one person went to work, the family, I'm afraid, couldn't even eat a full meal.
So, as a last resort, the younger generation asked the parents to take the baby, and, this kind of take the baby, into the marriage before, will certainly talk about the conditions. Otherwise, on the class no one with children, home with children and do not earn money.
Why, now the parents of the relationship, generally with the son daughter-in-law, daughter son-in-law is very poor it:
First, 50% of the in-laws, parents-in-law, is a clear indication, do not help children with children, and do not provide any monetary help. In a word, you do not help you bring, old age, you do not have to care about my old age. But the fact is, when you get old, you still have to come to rely on your children.
Secondly, the remaining 50% to bring, in fact, is not willing, they are not easy to retire, go to help their children with children, how to travel, square dancing, chatting and playing mahjong, and even go to the University of the Elderly ah.
One is not to bring, the second is reluctant to come, of course, there are also like this with their children and grandchildren together with the elderly, but too little, I am afraid that one-third are less than.
So, the results appeared, barely help the children to bring children 3 years old to kindergarten, up to 7 years old in elementary school, in-laws and parents-in-law, they hurried to walk, enjoy the old age to go.
I have to say, 1960 and after the birth of all, in fact, are self-centered people, are generally selfish, will not have for the sake of the family heart. We 8090s, naturally, are the same.
This is a direct result of the fact that two children are now rare and one child is common, and quite a few of them are rising in number year by year.
Ten years ago, my mom also came to Shenzhen to my brother with a few years of children.
My mom had no choice but to go to work with my brother and sister-in-law, and the children were not taken care of. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Originally, I wanted to put the child in the countryside and let my mom take care of it, so that my parents wouldn't have to be separated. But the mother is old (70 years old), the child is small (just one year old), the hygiene conditions in the countryside are not good, the mother day and night with the unbearable, the child left the parents are not good. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a long journey, and I was able to get to Shenzhen with my father (who refused to leave because he wanted to farm).
Mom stayed in Shenzhen for more than 3 years, her brother's child can go to kindergarten, mom went back to her hometown.
Mom went back to her hometown not only because her father was in her hometown, but also because it was the place where she had lived all her life, where she was familiar with everything, where her feelings were, where her roots were, and where it was impossible for her to leave. The fact is that it's not possible to leave.
What's more, children have children's lives, and mothers have mothers' belongings. By bringing up the children, the mother feels that her mission is accomplished and it is time to return to her old life.
Parents look after their children, relieve their children of the burden of the family, so that they can devote themselves to their own careers and work, and at the same time enjoy the happiness of the family. When the child goes to kindergarten or elementary school, most parents go back to their hometowns, and only a small part of them continue to stay with their children in old age. The reasons are as follows:
First, the children's home is not their own home
After the marriage of the children, as parents should withdraw from the identity of the head of the family, because the small family is not their own home, the son in law is the head of the family, all the relationship between parents and children to the small couples as the core of the relationship, the son in law relationship is the basis of the whole family relationship harmony.
After the young people in the field or the city have children, due to economic reasons or other reasons have to let their parents to help look after the children, the general mother to look after the children for their children more. The mother of the child to see the child, the old partner left alone at home, sometimes is three years and five years.
It's hard to wait for the grandchildren to grow up, so of course they have to go back to their own homes. There is a saying that the old man's home is a place where he can't get away from, where he is familiar with all the trees and grass, and where he is familiar with his relatives and friends.
Second, the two generations live together with a generation gap
The elderly and young people live together or a generation gap, living habits and work and rest time can not be synchronized. There are also some ideas that are very different from each other, and they can't get along and communicate with each other in a coherent way. For example, young people like to go to bed late and get up late, but the elderly like to go to bed early and get up early. Elderly people believe that we should live within our means and not be wasteful, but young people believe that we should pay attention to the quality of life, and that life is too short to be sorry for ourselves, so we often go to restaurants to improve our food as a matter of course. At the same time, the concept of education of children is very different, the elderly are close to the next generation, that the tree nature straight, can vigorously pampered; and young people believe that the scientific education of children, people do not learn to be a talent, jade is not cut into a tool.
Three, in the city life is not accustomed to
Older people in the old home life is free and easy, the countryside has a broad vision, the neighborhood is relatively close, a go out, the whole village can talk to people. In the city, the door to meet do not greet, not to mention chatting. Besides, the old man in the old family life, there are always three friends, often can gossip together, play. But in the city, apart from the son's family, there is no way to socialize with other people, life is more stifling.
When my mother-in-law was in poor health, my father-in-law came to help us with our children for two and a half years. I'm not sure if I've ever seen this before, but I'm sure I've seen it before, and I'm sure I've never seen it before. And all day long feel unwell, we are also very worried, a hospital check, what is wrong with nothing, in fact, it is the mood of stifling. Later, when the second baby is two and a half years old, will send kindergarten, let the father-in-law back to his hometown. As soon as my father-in-law returned to his hometown, he was immediately refreshed and no longer had any illnesses. My mother-in-law said that my father-in-law was as happy as a child all day long, playing all over the village. The family farm work is especially vigorous, now will soon be 80 years old, but the body is still very strong, do not let him planting will not be willing.
So the parents gave their children to look after their children, and after the children got older, most of them went back to their hometowns. The reason is not that the children are not filial, and the old man likes the freedom of life in the old country, even if the work is a little tired, at least the spirit of relaxation, freedom. So as the children's not only to filial piety, at the same time also have to be obedient, older, they like to live what kind of life, try to meet them.
The elderly to children after watching the children do not go back to their hometowns can go back to where, since it is to help watch the children, that after watching the children naturally go back to their hometowns ah, and not to move to the children to live together, which is the meaning of the two different things. Of course, if the elderly do not return home, the children will not really want the elderly to go back, will respect the views of the elderly.
As for why the elderly to help their children to look after the children back home, I probably summarized the reasons:
1. live not accustomed to
With the filial children live together, there will be contradictions over time, after all, it is now the age of electronics, the elderly a lot of things will not be able to use, to do something or like to use the original method, in the process, may be the There are some health and other problems, children do not say once, not twice, the third time will certainly say.
2. The other half of the old family
Some elderly people are not married to two help bring up the child, usually the grandmother or grandmother to go to the city of the children's home, the grandfather stayed at home to look after the house or work. Then the old man brought up the child, naturally returned home to accompany his partner.
3. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relations
This is the main reason, even if the elderly no matter how much they want to follow the son, daughter-in-law to live together, but a house to live in two women, more or less there will be conflicts. Some elderly people will feel that it is better to go back to their hometown to be free than to be angry in their son's house.
4. Going back to the roots
This is the idea of the vast majority of the elderly, completed the task of bringing up children, naturally, back to their hometowns to live, that is their hometowns, where they live in the circle of life, friends, relatives, etc.
This is also the idea of the elderly to go back to their hometowns to live, and to live with their friends.
Summary: In any case, I think it's better to go back to my hometown for comfort. When I'm old and my kids want me to help with the kids, I'll be looking forward to going back to my hometown, and I don't like the idea of living with my children, it's too unfree.
Why do some mothers go back to their hometowns after babysitting their children, and what are the reasons?
I think as a mother to leave her hometown, for their children to see the children, that is also a matter of necessity, no mother is willing to leave their own life for decades of home, and go to an unfamiliar place, life is not accustomed to the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems, the generation of relatives is true, but to leave their hometown is really a matter of necessity.
Sometimes I feel that with the grandchildren, it is not the joy of heaven, but the pain of heaven, this habit of China, the mother-in-law will be busy for the next generation for life, and not fall well. The child born of their own hard work to bring up and have to bring grandchildren and busy, age day by day, the health condition is deteriorating, the children do not understand, bitter death, only their hearts understand, this does not pay for the nanny is often still picking four, said a variety of problems, no matter how dedicated, not necessarily get grateful.
So when the child is a little bit older, in kindergarten or elementary school, son in law do not need you, quickly leave it! The age is getting older every year, save people from getting bored, and live a few years of comfortable days, is the most important.
Most of the mothers to the city or to the field to the children to see the children after the children have to go back home for the following reasons: First, because most of the mothers to the children to see the children are separated from their partners, so once the children do not need to take care of when they must return to take care of their partners around the old partner, because their land and houses in the countryside, the old man is talking about the roots of the old man.
Second, most of the elderly are not willing to live with the elderly, because the old man's habits and dietary tastes and the younger generation are not the same, and a lifetime of living in the countryside, so they are not accustomed to city life, in the countryside can go to the East strung a village are familiar with nothing. But in the city is the door to the people almost did not come and go, especially the elderly feel like being locked into a cage, so they are willing to go back to the countryside home, which is called the native land is difficult to leave.
Third, is the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is not good, in the use of the mother-in-law to see the children have no choice but to tolerate living together, once the children can leave the hands of both sides who are not willing to be exempted from the strong together, only to be separated in order to be able to live with each other is also a helpless move.