This is a true story of mine, more than three months ago. Now I can only blame myself for being too willful. I have no contact with him and I took the initiative to delete his mobile phone number and QQ number. I wrote this story to commemorate that past. I am very grateful to him for giving me such happy days, but at the same time, I regret going further and further down this road. Forgive me for my vanity and willfulness. I hope that in the days to come, I will cherish the people I love and the people who love me even more. . .
I remember that at noon that day, I had a quarrel with the people in the dormitory, and I was in a very bad mood. . . I was really sad at that time! There were classes in the afternoon, but I didn’t want to go and see them again, so I skipped class and went to the Internet cafe. I felt so embarrassed. This was the only place I could go. I cried secretly in that Internet cafe. There were only a few people online. In order to vent, I told all my friends online, whether they were friends or strangers. I told them all, and they all comforted me, but I wanted to die so much. I felt like I was such a failure in living! I wanted to die and no longer care about anything and everything.
Later I had no idea. I started chatting with someone, and I don’t remember how we started chatting. Anyway, I started chatting with him. I forgot that there were still people waiting for my reply, and I didn’t want to pay attention to them. I didn’t know how I could still treat them. say what. He seems to be named Han (pseudonym). We met two years ago, and we didn’t talk much after that. When we first chatted with him at that time, my first chat with him lasted a long time. It was the first time I met a netizen through video. I didn’t know what to do. I saw him, but he didn’t see me. Generally speaking, he looks very good, with a rebellious temperament. I think he looks like He was living outside, and his identity made me afraid to approach him as a simple person. However, my upbringing was quite strict and I longed for freedom at that time. He was more or less the type of person I aspired to.
I have talked with him a lot now, and I can’t remember what we talked about. It was just plain and simple, and it felt very real. He said that his experience was much more complicated than mine, and he had also thought about death. But he still brought me a lot of comfort. It was very late, and I had to go offline. I returned to school helplessly. I didn’t know how to face it, so I had to find my mother in Zhengzhou. I was afraid I can't support it, that's how I am. Maybe in your eyes I'm just like a child, but I really don't know what to do. John told me to go back and figure out how to deal with them. He also said that if he were in my school If that were the case, he would have been a boss long ago and would make them so scared that they begged for mercy. But I don’t want to do that. I just want help from others. I don’t know what else I can do. I’m like a helpless child. I was looking for a way home, and later I realized that I had my faults too. I felt like I was a failure as a human being. That was all~
Later I went online again, and he left me a message. , I remember him saying that he went to bed very late that night, and he told his ex-girlfriend that I would rather fall in love with a girl who can't hear, than love someone who never cares about himself or loves himself, (my ears can't hear) that I really wanted to cry after watching it. I cried for the first time in an Internet cafe. He has never said this to me before. I said John, in fact, this matter is also my fault. I am proud and have a bad temper. I hurt everyone's concern for me, but I did not mean it, but I was making a mistake. He made a mistake that I never knew about, do you believe me? I also left him my mobile phone number. I will not go online often in the future.
I don’t remember what day it was, but I suddenly received a text message from a stranger. He said that you must be strong and believe in yourself! I'm very surprised that anyone knows about me and my mobile phone number. I suspect it was sent by Han. Should I send it out and say it's Han? He said he was from the same school as me, which was a bit unexpected. I knew very few boys in school, not to mention knowing my mobile phone number. I asked him vigorously, but he didn’t tell me. I got angry, and he said he liked me and would support me silently. I asked him his name, and he said his name was Feng. I asked him about his class, but he didn’t say anything again. I got angry, and I said I was in a bad mood today and didn’t have time. Playing with you, what's wrong with you? Who bullied you, I'll help you kill him, haha! . . . Kill yourself! . . .
It's strange that he didn't reply to me anymore. That's good, no one will bother me anymore.
Later I went to the Internet cafe and he was online, there he was! Well, how about that? good. He said that actually it was me who sent you the maple yesterday.
I had already thought it was him, who else could it be besides him! I just can't figure out why he would do this? ! He said he found that I have a bad temper. Have you ever thought about it? If he was really Feng, you would have really missed it! I was speechless. I couldn't think of any excuse to refute him. Later, he and I chatted more and more, and I began to find that I gradually fell in love with him. It was really fun to chat with him. I had never been like that before. Yes, he suddenly said something to me. I knew a little bit about what he meant, but I still asked him deliberately what he meant. He said, "Oh, that's it. Oh, dear, pig!" Haha, I laughed, and he said he used to be in Dance Dance. When we were playing, a lot of girls said mo mo to him. He didn’t know what it meant, but later he understood. He also said that I was the first person he said mo mo. I was surprised, and at the same time I felt very honored. To be honest, I don’t have my first love yet! Real or fake! ? Well, it’s true. Oh, let me think about whether I want to take away your first kiss. You have to think carefully about it. This is a major matter for girls! Then come again, I laughed, I also replied~
I was offline. I was excited and moved indescribably. I was immersed in happiness the whole afternoon. I thought They are all named after him. I think I really like him. I didn't know if it was a joke, but I ended up taking it seriously.
That day I sent him a text message saying that I fell in love with you. Was he telling the truth? How well do you know me? I'm serious, I love you now, not your past! But he didn't reply. I felt a little scared. I was afraid that he would laugh at me as a fool. I was afraid that he would reject me. I have never been as serious as now. . .
That day he suddenly told me that he was very annoyed today. His father’s company had closed down and his father was sick again. Now he really hates his father for not living up to expectations! He said that he was caught in the rain on the roof of his house, and the weather there was light rain at that time. I felt very sad after seeing it. I said don't be sad, okay? You will get through it. He said he really didn’t know what to do now! I said that if I had the ability, I would definitely help him get through this difficult time. You have helped me, will you be my woman? Do you want to? After I saw it, I felt indescribable excitement and excitement, and I said I think I would! good! Let's work hard together! . . . Oh yeah, when did you say these words? You have to be good! Go to sleep obediently. . .
Later I was studying in the evening, and I received a text message from Han. He said that he told everyone that he fell in love with me, and they all said that I was crazy! But I said that I fell in love with her simplicity and kindness, and her ability to understand people's hearts~
I was almost moved by her at that moment. This was really beyond my expectation. I giggled, my The look made the people next to me look at me curiously, and I kept laughing. Of course I went to bed very late that night.
I have been immersed in the happiness of being a little woman for the past half month, but I still often wonder how long we can last. Now that I think about it, I feel that I was very selfish. It was me who broke up with him first. . .
John always said that he was sad about something happening around him, but I couldn't run over to comfort him because we were not in the same city and we had never really met each other. .Saturday night, I was bored in the dormitory and decided to go out for a walk. This was Han's suggestion to let me go out. From Jinshui River to Greentown Square, I slowed down my pace just to consume more time. I saw a lot of intimate couples, and I thought of John. Thinking that he is no longer with me now, I feel a little sad. I am very soft-hearted, afraid of dragging him down. I have my studies, he has his work, and I I'm afraid that if I'm not with him, I feel that the distance between me and him is getting farther and farther, and I want to find a boyfriend who can stay with me. I texted him and I left him with these reasons.
I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, I don’t know what else I can say. We didn't have a long relationship, and I didn't feel sad. I didn't know what I would lose, but this time I gave up on my own initiative.
This matter is over now, nothing lost can be brought back!
Now I have no contact with him. He already has a girlfriend and is going to go out to work. When I see them together, I am also very jealous, but the focus of my life is not Ai Qing. Only now do I realize that what I love is just his concern for me. This is my first love. Any couple who loves each other will not care about any reason. There is no reason to leave, but that doesn't matter to me anymore. Now I look down on anyone, and I will never meet anyone like him. ． ． ．
I learned how to love from it. When I regretted it and wanted to get it back, he said: You still have a long way to go in the future. You need to walk alone, others will not accompany you. For life~! "I still cried and decided to let go.
Thinking about it, I am very selfish. I think this is a choice I will regret in my life. I don't know if he will read this article. But I hope he can live a happier life than me.