funny funny classic text

1. Scum tinfoil hot, scum female big waves, and I do not 1, my mom does not allow hot!

2. I always heard the teacher say, you are a fly, the whole floor on your buzz. Then you say the flies like to surround what turn?

3. Yesterday, a male colleague and his wife had a fight, today's morning meeting, he is responsible for giving everyone a plan. He was in high spirits. Suit walked to the podium in the conference room, in front of all colleagues from the computer bag inside an induction cooker ......

4. The teacher asked the students to tell a short story, the story content should have three elements: horror, funny, tragedy. At this time Xiao Ming raised his hand and wanted to answer: once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died.

5. See there is a girl squatting on the ground, in front of the ground wrote a line of words: beg to give two dollars for a ride. I looked at the girl, helplessly sighed and turned his head to go, you go out two dollars do not bring, the pocket also put a chalk, fools?

6. Superior leaders to inspect, after dinner, the leader said: "Let's find a female friend more places? We go to relax relax!" It is worthy of the leadership, the combination of labor and leisure. So he led us to the square with the ladies square dancing.

7. The kitten and the dog looked at the owner who was freezing and shivering, and muttered in their hearts: human beings are really stupid, why don't they grow some hair when they have nothing to do?

8. One day pulled the fire canister to go swimming, a little girl saw crying and running, while running and shouting: Mom, Mom, you see the seven star ladybug! I turned around and wanted to defend, the girl scared: mom, or a seven-star ladybug essence!

9. The train to the station to close the toilet, a small child wants to pull the stink, can not hold it, its dad held him him in the window, buttocks to the window, pulling to the halfway point, the train is going to open, only to hear the staff on the platform shouted: "that big-faced fat man, don't eat the doughnuts, put your face back, the train is going to open! "

10. "Why is the surface of the moon uneven?" "Because Chang'e is learning to be a digger."

11. Driving down the road, I saw the rear of the car in front of the sticker: older women, chasing the tail must be married. Brother decisively hit the past, the results, Nima lost more than 3,000.

12. When I was a kid, I was often beaten by my dad, especially with slippers to shoot me in the face. One day in the classroom, a classmate saw me greeted me and said: your new slippers ah? I said, "How do you know? He said: the shoe prints on your face are not the same as yesterday!

13. The class president liked a girl, every day he would shout her name in the class, but unfortunately the girl never promised the class president, her name is - quiet.

14. I remember once, in the classroom, the teacher talked about the dialectical relationship between contradiction and unity, I was reading extracurricular books below the result of the teacher picked up: "Talk about the relationship between contradiction and unity!"" It doesn't matter."" Why?"" Mao Dun is a writer, unification is instant noodles, of course there is no relationship."

15. When I was sick as a child, my mom would always make a cup of coffee and say: foreigners love to drink this. I have always been more afraid of coffee, bitter and astringent. Growing up, I walked all over Starbucks. On the island, can not find the flavor that I drank as a child. Until one day, I drank the plate of ......

16. "Watch Korean dramas, the male lead!" "Watch Japanese dramas, female lead!" "And what's a domestic drama?" "Come right back after the commercials!"

17. One day Xiao Ming ran to his mom and asked, "Mom, what does it mean that failure is the mother of success?" Mom said, "It means failure is the mother of success." Xiaoming: "Oh, I see, mom, so you are failure, I am success ah!"

18. I remember when I was a child, there was a test only 8 points, in order not to be beaten I secretly added a 0, after I came home, mom looked at my test paper and asked me: "Are you changing the score?" I justified that there is no, mom beat me while scolding: "Let you take a 08 points, let you take a 08 points."

19. In ancient times, the robbery: this road is my open, this tree is my planting, want this road over, leave the money to buy the road. After thousands of years of baptism of civilization, to today's society robbery is this: 500 meters ahead of the toll booth, please slow down.

20. The girlfriend's family to propose marriage. I asked her father privately: uncle you see how much the bride price is appropriate? Her father waved his hand: not a penny, there are things to send you! I was overjoyed: What do you want to send me? Her father: home that piece of rubbing board you take away ...... so I'm liberated. I: ......

21. night just after dinner, my mom came to the spirit: young man, go, walk the dog with mom to go! I was confused: do we have a dog? My mom looked at me for five seconds! Instantaneous seconds to understand said: Mom, my father did not let you have a dog, you can not take me as a dog son to raise it!

22. Once and his wife argued, the two of us more and more ferocious, I reached out and grabbed the table on the teacup slammed hard on the ground. My wife also looked around, but did not find anything easy to fall. Coincidentally, my son came back from school, she rushed up and grabbed my son's bag and slammed it on the floor. The son hurriedly picked up the bag from the ground and pulled out the workbook, saying: Mom, to tear the workbook ah!

23. Starve this, do well called weight loss; pinch this, do well called massage; daze this, do well called deep; lazy this, do well called enjoyment; dead face this, do well called persistence; play dumb this, if you do well, it is called the great wisdom.

24. Five years ago, I talked about a girlfriend, her father did not like me, married her to the field. Today on the street suddenly ran into her father, although he hated him, but called uncle also handed a Chinese. Her father smoked two mouthfuls of cigarettes: you have today's success is I did not expect ah, uncle regret ah! At first I counted on you kid is a life of begging, afraid of daughter suffering, so she will not let her follow you. But never thought of is, now to rice will be so earn money!