Baby Xiaoni:
On Monday morning, the alarm clock woke my mother up from her sleep, and it was time to get up and write again. But mom doesn’t know what to write, so let’s talk to you here.
You should still be sleeping. Like your mother, you always sleep a little late these days. This is not a good habit. Whenever she sees you fail to go to bed at the appointed time, your mother will be a little irritated, and she will be more urging and angry with you, and sometimes even hurt you a little.
In fact, mom understands that the real cause of some anxiety is not you, but the mom herself. Some feel that she is ineffective because she did not complete the plan, some blame herself for not managing time well, and some because she has never been able to The dissatisfaction caused by achieving the peaceful and gentle state that one desires. Those unpleasant emotions are all your mother's own, but they were thrown at you because she didn't regulate them well. And sometimes you feel extremely wronged, but you still work hard to do well, and you are always able to let go and forgive so quickly, and still happily play with your parents. These are things that we adults are far behind, and this is what mothers need to express their gratitude to. You learn.
Baby Xiaoni, time flies so fast. In the blink of an eye, you are in fourth grade. The pressure of transitioning from junior high school to junior high school is approaching. It is difficult for your mother to ignore this pressure and nag you more about your studies. . Regarding the extracurricular supplementary learning added this year, my mother is not sure whether it is suitable for you, and she is very hesitant to sign up for these courses, but I think we can try hard first and adjust based on the test results, just like you, Nini As we often say, "How will you know if you don't try?"
Last night we studied math problems together and we had some arguments. I'm glad that you are a child who is "neither obedient nor obedient". "Disobedient" is You have your own thoughts and dare to express and defend your own opinions. "Being obedient" means that you are willing to accept some suggestions and learn different communication methods. Whether you are "disobedient" or "obedient", my mother believes that you will slowly find the most suitable way of survival and development for you.
A few days ago, my mother read an article by He Caitou called "Self-preservation" and liked it very much. The article talked about changing oneself and preserving oneself. The core point is that instead of changing oneself, it is better to You should know your true appearance and uniqueness and work hard to preserve it. I had a lot of feelings while reading, some about my own growth, and some about how to better cultivate you.
"Everyone is born unique." But when asked about your uniqueness, my mother couldn't describe it clearly. What I know about you is unique, such as the hobbies I saw. , expertise, personality, habits are really your uniqueness? And whether what I think is unique is consistent with your own, I don’t have a clear answer. Whether we have given you the most appropriate education according to your uniqueness, or whether we have carefully helped you preserve your own uniqueness, these questions are worthy of reflection by the mother.
"Remove other people's vision, remove other people's expectations, remove all elements of performance (catering to others), what is the difference between you and others?" This question of He Caitou, I want to give myself , also given to you, and the "others" in the question also include parents, because parents are always the ones young children most hope to cater to and satisfy, so when you answer this question, please be sure to remove the words from us Look at yourself quietly with expectations and eyes. Maybe we still can’t figure it out for a while, but we still have to think carefully and find some answers that are infinitely close to the truth, so that we can become clearer, more practical and more powerful.
My mother believes that preservation and change are not contradictory, but she feels that "preserve and grow yourself" is more appropriate. From birth to growing up, it is impossible for us not to change, because we do not live alone in the world, we will have inextricable relationships with nature and other people, so we have been slowly adjusting our cognition, Behavior and rules of dealing with things in order to better adapt to life and develop oneself. "Survival of the fittest" is a rule of nature. This is true for animals and so for humans.
Just changing and adapting does not mean losing yourself. On the road of growth, you can stop and take a look from time to time and think, "Is your beauty and uniqueness still there?" "Do I like myself now?" No matter No matter what kind of change, the first thing is to smile and love yourself.
I remember one time, you told me that you didn’t seem to have any special hobbies or talents. When I said it, I was a little frustrated. I can feel that you hope that you can be unique or outstanding. In fact, my mother, or many people, have this wish. It's just that some of the uniqueness is innate, and some of it is discovered and cultivated after countless preferences or experiences. If we haven’t discovered our own uniqueness, then we should try more, get in touch, learn, and think.
Also, if there are some hobbies that you really like and feel happy about, it doesn’t matter if you are the same as others or weaker than others, they are still your unique hobbies. Square dancing may be a bit vulgar, and it may not be danceable well, but if what is dancing in it is energy and joy, even if the steps, movements and rhythms are the same, the emotion and joy will still be unique and belong to you. So, Xiaoni, don’t be afraid to be the same as others, and don’t worry about being different from others. Whether it's because you need to adapt to make changes, or you want to keep your own uniqueness, mom hopes that you will be happy, accepting and thoughtful.
Although many points in this article arouse mom’s cries, moms still have to remind themselves not to let self-preservation become a self-comfort to stop growing. It is still a concept that requires continuous efforts. Try your best to discover and develop yourself. But this investment is not for others, but for your own heart. Don't forget your original intention and grow into what you want and not what others want.
There was a rustling sound outside, and the lovely Xiao Ni got up. You are still a very perseverant child. Many mornings the alarm clock rings, you get up by yourself, boil water, wash yourself, and read for a while. Your movements in the morning are gentle, and you often say to us, "Mom and Dad, please sleep a little longer, you are too late at night." Looking at your smiling face and soft words, the cold morning instantly becomes warm.
The 21-day writing training camp is almost over. During this period, although I haven’t been able to update an article every day, writing in the morning has become a new habit. Sometimes it’s really difficult for me to get up early because I don’t sleep well. Sometimes I open a document but don’t know how to start writing. But I still get up at 6 o’clock on time every day. If I can’t think of what to write, I just read a book for a while, which is also a quiet time. And wonderful time. Today, my mother found a new way to write. It is also a good try to write a letter to Xiaoni, have a casual chat with you, and leave my mother's thoughts.
Xiaoni, today we talked about "self-preservation". What do you think?
Love you, mother
2017.2.27