<1>...
Midnight on the streets, streetlights, weaving cars and fog shrouded streets. It was a day at the end of November, and again she was the last one to leave the office. It was windy, the gale force winds of a northern winter, pouring right down her neck through her scarf. She felt cold, but even more bored, so she took out a cigarette from her bag, turned her back on her face, and lit it. At that moment, a voice behind her called out to her, "Mary,it's really you."
Mary turned her head in the direction of the voice, and looked at the street lamps pulling away a long shadow, because the street lamps are dim, it is difficult to see the face of the favor, but this figure is Mary can not forget for the rest of her life. Tears instantly with the corner of the eye trickled down, combined with the wind, cold seeped into the neck, she was even colder 。。。。。。
She didn't want to move forward, but she couldn't turn around. She had tried to imagine countless stories of reunion, but she hadn't expected to meet on a night like this, because her disheveledness, her tiredness, her weakness, she didn't want to show it in a reunion like this.
She thought that she could dust off her youth and say goodbye to her weak self. She worked hard to change the past, even from the far south of the county, she ran to the center of the city in the north. She tried to use the 360-degree environment and work to forge a perfect and strong self.
But this one voice, brutal and rude, came back to prey on her emotions, and she couldn't bring herself to wrap the trench coat around her, letting the collar cover most of her face. A large portion of the cigarette in her hand was blown away by the wind, leaving half of it glowing faintly in the night air.
"Write you a letter A go no news, even the phone You also turned off the phone, I can not find you Where in the end you
Long time no news of you Your voice, all the planes have long since landed, I thought you were waiting for your baggage
Check the name of the travelers did not have your registration, sitting in the home of the TEXI Along the way to look for you. Write your name on a cigarette and inhale it into my lungs. Keeping you the closest distance from my heart never having to worry about being disconnected from you for the rest of my life 。。。。。。" At this point Mary's mind was haunted by this song she had been listening to day and night for five years.
"Mary, is that you?" The long shadows gradually closed the distance, but not fast enough to close in on Mary's body, instead it was a low question that seemed distant and ethereal with the night wind.
Mary stirred, dropping the cigarette in her hand, brushing the tears from the corners of her eyes, and straightening her short hair to make herself look as clean, neat, and refreshed as she wanted to be.Mary's hair had never been grown long again after she had cut it off that night five years ago. While a short head of hair complimented Mary's face more favorably, her family and friends knew how much she loved her long dark hair.
"Mary, is that you?" The voice was getting closer and clearer, but it was getting stranger.
Mary finally stared head on at the shadow that was moving towards her, familiar yet slightly unfamiliar.
Five years, five three hundred and sixty-five days and nights, Mary knew how much she had been looking forward to the day when she would be able to embrace him again, smell his special blend of tobacco and men's cologne-scented toiletries, pamper herself in front of him, and caress every inch of his body with her sensual body. 。。。。。。
But these five three hundred and sixty-five days and nights, are she a person a pot of wine, the wind to the waves to drift, water and fire like running. Without him later, she is more to work herself into a stronger, in the work she is a woman, in life, she is still a woman. Her leadership and colleagues have seen her before the scenery and smile, but no one knows that her cabin, the most is a packet of green "love and cherish" cigarettes, mixed with the music accompanied by her deep loneliness 。。。。。。 No one can understand the confusion behind her madness, the tears behind her smile.
<2>
"Mary, Mary, you come down" outside the third-floor girls' dormitory stood a boy wearing a white shirt, leather jacket, jeans, in the sunshine looks extraordinarily clean and moving. As the voice shouted, it drew a number of male and female students towards the direction of the downstairs.
"Mary, someone's calling you!" Xiao Li from the same dormitory pushed Mary, who was looking at a book by San Mao, with a slight sense of urgency. "Hey, do you know who this is? Some of our teachers know him. He's a tiny celebrity in our district!" "Who?" Mary couldn't think of any famous person who would be looking for her. She shifted and slowly peered over the ledge, and at that moment, she already knew that in this life, she had to be with him. It was that one glance, that one glance that had doomed her forever.
"Mary, Mary, you come down" the man below was still calling.Mary walked downstairs with a red face, she didn't know why she was nervous, according to the fact that she was a handful in the school corps and did so many school positions, she would not look rushed in this kind of thing. But she couldn't hold down that deer in the headlights feeling inside of her, mind and body united showing up on her face and in her heart.
"Mary, you are Mary. Hehe, a man asked me to hand over a letter to you." The big boy in front of her pulled out a kraft envelope thing from his pants pocket and handed it to Mary. but there was no intention to leave, just looked at Mary with unblinking eyes, as if he wanted Mary to read it and go back to hand it over. Mary opened the envelope, and the two sprawling, steel and powerful words on the white and red-lined letterhead were especially handsome. As soon as she saw the words, she had a few favorites. But also curious about who wrote it, did not look at the front, directly flipped to the back of the place to leave money "your sea", how is he? Mary does not believe that it is this person, because this sea is her class in the class of poor grades classmates, read the university, there is no serious reading. He has been working outside and is no different from those outside society. In accordance with common sense, such a word is by no means out to this sea handwriting.
"Who are you? What is your name? Why do you have this letter?" Mary showed no mercy, for her indignation was written on her face.
"I, I, handed it in for my brother"
"Your brother? He's in our class, why is he your brother"?
"We play soccer, he likes you and can't write a letter, so he let me do it for him and asked me to hand it to you"
"What's wrong with you? Do people your age still do this stuff? Don't you think it's super boring! What's your name?" Mary didn't know where he got the courage that he would ask the other man his name. In fact, he wasn't even afraid of this letter from this sea, she was afraid of breaking the connection with the boy in front of her because of a misunderstanding.
"My name is XuanXuan 。。。。。。" The boy finished with a nod of his head, wanting to leave
"Hey, where do you live?" Mary asked in a very irrational continuation. She was afraid that just by turning around, she would miss the future.
The boy looked at Mary with wide eyes, pointed his finger at a red brick building outside the school, and said timidly, "Second floor, just overlooking the playground."。。。。。
In fact, the boy didn't tell the truth, this second floor was just his personal little dormitory. And his real home is downtown in the riverside of a set of three-story plus roof garden villa.
Mary listened to the letter and believed it, nodded, turned around with a smile and ran back to the dormitory. Taking the letter carefully one word by one word look, she read the letter behind the shadow is this wearing a white shirt, leather jacket jeans called "XuanXuan" big boy 。。。。。。.
And every day after that, the playground was Mary's favorite place to come.
<3>
"Mary, come here 。。。。。。"
"What? Wait, I'm writing 。。。。。"
"Come over here, come help me!"
With the sound, Mary ran across the tiny kitchen of the studio apartment, looking at the scene before her a little flustered and a little overwhelmed. Little XuanXuan was covering the index finger of his left hand, drops of blood dripping down the finger onto the kitchen floor that was only two or three square feet in size.
"What's wrong with you? If you don't know how to do it, don't do it, look at what you've done to yourself, wait for me" Mary ran to the medicine cabinet in the living room, took out a band-aid and ran to the kitchen.
"Reach out, come on, I'll put it on you." The small band-aid didn't seem to cover the wound. Looking at the sharp knife sitting on the shore board, Mary shivered a little for a moment, the man's long, white fingers and long nails were very neatly shaped and nice. But now a cut across the index finger between the fingernail and the belly of the finger, Mary and instantly from the head of a hair tie a small white handkerchief, on top of a few small flowers. The small white handkerchief was wrapped around the man's hand, and the blood seeped out, accentuating the beauty of the small flowers.
"Come on, come and rest. How can you run off and do this mess of chores when you're not even the one doing them" Mary growled heartily. The man looked at Mary's nervousness and wouldn't feel the pain in his hands at all, but looked dully at Mary's white face and giggled.
Mary calmed the man and put down the paper she was finishing in her hands again, Mary put on her apron and dug into the kitchen. About forty minutes later, the ginger frog, pickled pepper pork loin, and stir-fried baby bok choy were obediently staying on the table waiting for the young couple to savor them.
Harmonious warmth of the light, an ordinary but destined to be extraordinary feelings, extended. Clusters of moonflowers and honeysuckle on the balcony lined with the evening moonlight, dancing in the wind with a hint of joy 。。。。。。
This XuanXuan's small dormitory is a forty-square-meter hut, which is their temporary love nest. The house is small, but the home is full of their laughter. Warm, touched, joyful, sad, this small space are all inclusive of them. The flowers on the balcony were planted by Mary from the farmer's market. She knew that XuanXuan liked flowers and plants, but she didn't know how to grow them herself. So Mary also learned to plant some flowers and plants, the balcony as a crop base, in addition to favorite flowers, there are one or two pots of green onions, Monday to Friday, Mary has to live in the campus dormitory according to the school regulations, there is no Mary's life to take care of, "XuanXuan" in the dormitory by himself the biggest part is to cook the noodles to eat.
<4>
"Mary, hey, are you out of class? I'll take you to Shasha to sing this weekend" Shasha is a relatively upscale KTV in the local area, and it's the best pastime in Jiangcheng to have a group of friends sing on weekends.
The voice on the other end of the phone rang out as it always does, and Mary had no defense against it, no resistance.
The city of Jiangcheng at night, with the neon accompaniment, the stars look beautiful and more seductive.
"You stood alone on the street corner, the scars on your face didn't go away, you cried and smiled at me. The image was like a knife, I knelt and prayed to heaven, give me the courage to face everything, ok? Instead, I cowardly let you turn and walk away, missing you, everything no longer matters. Let go to the near, do not escape, love is not want to get can get, who wins and who loses is no longer important, can be painful a good 。。。。。。
The XuanXuan on the stage is calcined life in interpretation, and Mary under the stage to listen with the whole body and mind.
The world is in a state of flux, and the sound of the waves is like a macro 。。。。。。
All outside sounds are silent, only the song and the kind of life moving, in the ticking of the clock hand slow not alarmed by its steps.
Mary's life and emotions had fallen inside this beautiful sound and could not be extricated.
XuanXuan also left behind the eyes and disdain of the world and the family to love this woman who did not have the power of a sunken fish and the appearance of a closed eye.
Whether it is spring, summer, fall, winter, wind, snow and sunshine, the district library, the riverside meadow, the bridge have left their youthful sweat and figure.
They thought that this would be a lifetime, this could be a lifetime! They loved each other so passionately, so unreservedly.
He wrote: "I would like to be your tree, accompanying you in spring, summer, fall and winter."
She wrote: "I would like to be your shadow, with you day and night black and white" 。。。。。。
<5>
Mary knew that XuanXuan's father was a minor official in the local city, and had some power and face in the area. Since the family is rich, exactly how much, Mary does not care. Because, she knows, she loves him as a person, but she forgets that love is related to the individual, but marriage is related to the family.
The three years of university time is like a shuttle, the beautiful days of love can only grow in this ivory tower. But when it comes to the wind and rain, the shaky foundation of love will be withered by the wind and rain.
Graduated from the university, read the liberal arts, she entered the city of a magazine, and smoothly became a I series, living a nine-to-five life, with a pitifully small amount of a salary, living a like a quiet but stormy days.
And reading science, he must go to overseas graduate school with the arrangement of his family. His mother had left his father years ago to take his brother to live overseas, and Mary didn't even know his entire family background. She only knows that he is multi-talented, handsome, sunny, and knows a few musical instruments. She's foolishly in love with him, with no extra thoughts.
The day he left, he took her to the Jiangcheng Fangcaodi, where they often dated, and held her hand and said to her: "You wait for me, I will definitely come back, **** with to create our company. Don't forget, I'm the tree for you, don't get entangled in the wrong one". He smiled and planted a deep kiss on her forehead.
Mary y believed that he would come back and live a happy and warm life for them in the near future.
Holding him in her arms, she hesitated to let go, inhaling y the faint scent of cologne coming from the inside of his neck. She knew that this parting could be a year or three. She wasn't ready to live without him. But she had to be prepared to live through such lonely days without him.
She mentally counted the days when she would see him, and she made sure to build their own warm home on those days.
She writes poems for him, he for her 。。。。。。
<6>
"Quickly, quickly, doctor, doctor," a white, handsome boy pushed open the door of the hospital and shouted for the doctor. This is St. Anthony's Hospital in Washington, D.C., USA. The hospital quickly came to the doctors and nurses to pick up the back door of the surgery of the emergency ambulance, from which launched a head full of blood, in the emergency vehicle with oxygen in the other man. It was impossible to recognize his face favor because it was covered in blood.
The doctor pushed the injured man into theemergency room, the door with a squeak, the sound disappeared
Then, outside the boy as if he had lost his soul, dull eyes looking at the ceiling, crouched down obediently slid to sit on the cold floor. Pulled out the phone, a long time, with a cry out "Mom, brother he crashed the car, now in St. Anthony's Hospital Emergency Center"
Well 。。。。。。。 The sound of the phone subsided for a while, and the boy was the only one left sitting in the long hallway of the hospital. For a long, long time, there was dead silence 。。。。。。
"Son, son 。。。。。" A woman with long dark red curly hair barged in, screaming tearfully.
"I'm here mom"
"No I'm not calling you, I'm calling your brother, where is he, I need to see him"
"He's in there, no, no, not coming out "
The woman flung herself to the ground, holding onto the cold door, looking at the red words INTRAOPERATIVE, and wowed and cried. For so many years, her expectation was that she could have a mother and son reunion, that the family could be together. No matter what the reason for leaving his father back then, but these two sons, is how she could not let go of the pain in her heart. She has always wanted to come to the United States in the eldest son, to give him compensation for so many years owed the debt of love, but this has just come to a year, this kind of thing. Let her unexpected, terrified, afraid to let her whole face in a flash like wax paper, colorless.
The phone call to China, the father at home has cried old tears, but said to the other end of the phone: "You must find a way to use the best medical skills, the best doctors resources to save the son. The caller is obviously his former wife, so many years, although the old man also has a new wife, but in his heart, always still only recognize the mother who brought him two sons. However, the old master could not leave the country due to some sweeping rights and wrongs in China. Therefore, this time is a strong torment and a real test for him. The only thing he can do at this point is to call various connections, trying to find people who can do things in the United States through this network of connections.
One goodbye is forever!
The best doctors in the U.S. can't save the soul of a man who has been summoned by the King of Hell.
Inside the operating room, the sound of a long cardiac arrestor rang out.
Outside the operating room, over and over again lost voice crying
Foreign stood this pair of mother and son, domestic, kneeling down an old man.
December was a snowy American winter. The clock hand stayed at that moment, 13 a.m. 。。。。。。
The sunshine boy returned home, a room prepared for his brother with his own hands. On the wall hangs a birthday gift he gave his brother, a beautiful electric guitar. There were also a couple of pictures with his brother, with that handsome smile. The two hadn't lived together for years, but the twins' ****iness was in them, much the same.
Both liked musical instruments, both liked soccer, both liked to write long letters in Imelda, and even, they liked the same type of girls.
He opened his brother's locker, his drawers, put on his clothes and silently missed his brother. If he hadn't asked his brother to go to a bar with him on the weekend, if he hadn't let his brother drink Long Island Iced Tea with alcohol, if he hadn't deliberately tried to get his brother to test-drive his new Ferrari, this situation would be warm at home right now, looking at a book, writing e-mails, playing a game, making fun of each other, and telling the story of the girl he loves in his heart. 。。。。。
If, but there is no if
Everything will not be never! He stood forever in heaven as a tree, but she didn't know about it. She still waited for him in the far eastern towns, and she believed that one day he would come back to China wearing a doctor's hat to marry her.
<7>
"Dear Mary, I miss you! It was a happy time in America. The people in America are very independent, they love their families and enjoy free love. The teachers in their classes are super funny and every lesson is very meaningful. I'm still working part-time to earn money. I'm really happy that I'm earning 2,500 dollars every month now. From this month onwards, I'll pay this money I earn for your household, remember to be kind to yourself, love yourself and eat well 。。。。。。" XuanXuan's brother tapped the keyboard word by word, familiar with using English, he wrote a few lines, has taken two hours. But he knew how meaningful it all was to his brother's spirit in heaven.
He insisted on writing letters for his brother for three years 。。。。。
He insisted for three years on loving her for his brother 。。。。。。。
Persisted for three years sending her money, not a penny less 。。。。。。
For a time he lived in schizophrenia, tangled, unrelieved. He was a younger brother by day and an older brother by night.
His mother pulled him not to allow him to go on like this, finally one day, the mother used the most inhumane means, on behalf of her son to write the last letter to Mary, the letter was to the effect that, "the United States has the most advanced concept of education, there is the best wealth of knowledge, I need to have all this, I have decided not to go back to China, you own your own life, do not think of me. 。。。。。" . And then canceled all the e-mail, broke all communication links.
Mary didn't believe it was real at first, but when she didn't receive any more letters, she began to believe. The freedom and openness of America, the advancement of the United States, was a weight of life that she, a small town girl, could not bear. She was aching inside, she couldn't believe those three years of youth, three long years of waiting, where was the tree of long love? Said to protect her from the wind and rain, said to together *** cross the end of the world, see the wind rise and fall, the clouds rolled over it? But he just so mercilessly destroy everything they built. Aren't those moonflowers still blooming with fragrant flowers? Why did it all just change 。。。。。
Angry at it all, she cut her long hair short for him, and she smoked the cigarettes she always said were bad for him to smoke. She quit her job in a small town and resolutely went to Xi'an, the most culturally rich city in the north. She threw away the comfort and chose to be a woman. Behind every work achievement, who does not know that behind this good strength and stubbornness, is a deep despondency.
She wants to smoke cigarettes into her lungs and abuse that seemingly beautiful love and youth with a self-inflicted kind of psychology.
Dare to ask where the end of the world is , a person with a pot of wine , the wind and waves drift , water and fire run away , the sky and the earth let me swim.
How many sorrows in the world have been said to be gathered and dispersed, said not enough, after a prosperous, the story of people after the event, how many feelings in the heart.
<8>
"Mary, is it you?" The memories were pulled back by the voice in front of her, and Mary's fluttering heart instantly returned to the present. She looked carefully at the man in front of her who was both familiar and unfamiliar, in his eyes she couldn't read the warmth and fervor of the past, there was only a hint of melancholy and uneasiness.
"You are 。。。。。"
"Mary, allow me to call you that. Can we find a cafe to sit in? I brought you so many of your belongings."
"My belongings?" Mary had doubt and fear written in both of her eyes at the same time. She was beginning to suspect that the man in front of her was not the man she had been haunted by and missed day and night. But why were these eyes, this high, straight nose, this great, broad body so familiar?
She began to frantically search for him in her mind. She thought it was her forgetfulness, all those years of working like a madman that had made her fool of herself. Or maybe it was the fact that life in America was born to be the best tool to change a person, and it was him who had changed.
She nodded as her body involuntarily followed him.
The steaming coffee warmed the atmosphere in the coffee house.
A few small couples dotted the landscape, free of the chill that had been present on the streets earlier.
"Mary, here's your little white handkerchief, your hairpin, lipstick and your diary. This is what I'm going to hand back to you for my brother."
"Brother?" Mary thought she heard wrong and couldn't help but ask again .
"Yes, my brother. I'm his identical brother. Been in America all this time, so, you've never met me. There is one thing that I have to take responsibility for what I did, and I shouldn't have lied to you, five years ago 。。。。。。。。。。 So, this time I came back, I came to atone for my sins to accept your punishment 。。。。" When he said this, a handsome face was all covered with tears.
"Cigarettes, my cigarettes 。。。。" Mary frantically searched for the cigarettes in her bag, a heart aching to every nerve ending, every cell filled with sadness, until the first puff of smoke seemed to exhale from her mouth.
She couldn't accept it, didn't dare to imagine how many three hundred and sixty-five days and nights she had waited for only a line between life and death.
She couldn't accept that life had come to an end before it had a chance to begin properly, to a grinding halt, like an alarm clock that stops when you press it.
She couldn't accept that he had gone to a foreign paradise alone, and that there was no girl like her who would love to follow him around, cursing him and loving him at the same time. She preferred to accept that he was in the United States, new and old, with a new love, rather than hear that he left alone, leaving behind a large group of people who loved him and the people he loved.
Right now, who else could love him more than her?
The tears left madly, outside the wind blowing sycamore trees lined with street lamps, mottled shadows along the glass window shadow on Mary's face, can not distinguish where is the light, where is the tears.
"Mary, I don't know what to say, when my mom wanted me to face a new job and new people, I knew that I could only accept the reality of life that can't be changed and change the reality that can be changed. That's why I came back to China to see you, I think my brother in heaven would like to see you have a bright future because you are so lovely and kind.Mary I'll send you back, it's late at night, be good 。。。。。。"
Inside the taxi, was the air of silence.Mary rolled down the window and took a long breath of the cold air, letting that cold reach her lungs through her throat, the cold air sobering her up 。。。。。。
Outside the gates of the neighborhood, the handsome, slender figure embraced the petite form.
The silhouette under the old hibiscus tree holding the pair of figures framed into an eternal picture 。。。。。。