After fifteen years of marriage, what should I do?

I am 54 years old, my children have graduated from graduate school, and I have found a job. Can I get a divorce?

I was introduced when I got married, and I haven't met several times. My parents thought it was appropriate, and I was dissatisfied and got married.

His family was in good condition, but he was separated from his parents soon after marriage. After separation, our new home has nothing but three rooms, separated from his parents by a wall. On the 30th anniversary of our first marriage, there was no oil at home, only noodles. I remember clearly that laughter came from the other side of the wall, and the smell of food floated, well, it smelled of Chinese New Year. It was getting dark, and my father sent me a pot of oil by bike. The Chinese New Year is coming, and there is oil in the dish. Yes, he ate at the wall and came back to eat my cooking. He said, "You are not as delicious as my mother's cooking."

He started his own small business, followed his parents, and after separation, we worked together. I didn't learn to do it until I got married with him, and the business downturn led to the dilemma of the first Chinese New Year.

Later, perhaps by God's blessing, our business got better and better, and we became a little rich.

Later, I got pregnant, probably in poor health, but I was very uncomfortable throughout the pregnancy, so I didn't care much about my business.

Later, when his daughter was born, he and his parents were very unhappy and lost money. If only they were boys.

When his daughter is sick and takes medicine by infusion, he never cares: "Take care of your children."

My daughter has a bad temper and can't take it away. Every time I give medicine, I either throw up or I can't get in. I can only go to my grandmother's house and ask her to get my medicine.

One night, my daughter had a fever of 38.6. I told him to get up quickly and go to the health center. He said he wanted to sleep, either tomorrow or by himself. Then, I walked with my daughter for nearly an hour, went to the clinic, took the medicine, walked with my daughter for more than half an hour, and went to my grandmother's house. I am too incompetent to support myself.

I used to be afraid of the dark, but this night, I forgot to be afraid.

Two years later, my son was born. He was nicer to me and finally realized that he had a daughter.

My son is very popular with his grandparents.

Both children are still young, so I take care of them at home. His business is getting worse and worse, so he opened a canteen, but he often invited people to drink in it. Finally, the canteen was closed, and it didn't sell as much as he ate.

The son is 6 years old and the daughter is 8 years old. We bought a house in the county for our children to go to school. Children need living expenses to send them to school. I borrowed some money from my parents and started my business again. Every day after school, I go home to cook. When I finished cooking, I hurried to the store. Go home at night, wash clothes for two children, mop the floor and finish housework, and the day is over.

What is he doing? Life with wine and meat. I'm afraid I've spent all my savings by now.

I sent my child to school in the county, and he didn't think it was necessary. I insist on buying a house in the county and letting my children go to school. He said I wasted money, he wanted to live a good life, but I delayed him.

My business is just so-so, but it's enough for our mother.

In this way, when my daughter and son are all in college, I will go to the nearby county to do business. Besides the Chinese New Year, we celebrate the Chinese New Year together. At other times, I may forget that I have a husband.

My son also worked after graduation. He came to live in the county.

I put on a mask, he said, over 50. Who are you hooking up with?

I dance square dance, he said, if I dance again, that's it.

I mopped the floor cleanly. When he got home, he never put his shoes on the shoe rack, but took them off wherever he sat. I said many times, he said, that's your business, it's been decades.

Dirty socks are always everywhere. . . .

I hesitated for a long time. It was most comfortable to live alone when I was a child in college.

At this age, I am not a great person, just an ordinary person, how much saliva I have to suffer from divorce.

Since I got married, I have thought about leaving countless times. One is that I can't let go of my children, and the other is that I feel humiliated.

This time, I made up my mind. I hope I can live the rest of my life in my own way in my fifties.