Mom I miss you
--Mid-Autumn Memories of My Mother
By Yu Liping
Another year of failed leaves and withered vines, a new coolness in the blue sky. The pool is gone, but there is still an unfinished business in the mud.
The past is like the wind and the thoughts are dreams, and the gold is like water and the memories are boundless. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Whenever the Mid-Autumn Festival comes, it evokes infinite thoughts of loved ones and memories of the past! In the past, every time the Mid-Autumn Festival, will pick the fluffy moon cake to send to the mother. Life is short, the years are relentless, and in the blink of an eye, our mother has left us for more than two years!
The following text is a collection of essays and poems written during my mother's illness when she was hospitalized for treatment and cared for at home and after her death.
Mother was born on June 24, 1935 and passed away on February 21, 2018 at 1:50 am at the age of 83 years.
Jiangchengzi - Memory of Mother
At first, mother and daughter are separated by yin and yang, unforgettable, and the tears become lines. The color of the sky is so dark that it's hard to see what's going on in the world. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman with a heart of gold, and I've never seen one. The first time I saw this was when I was a kid. The first time I saw this was when I was a kid, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a kid in the world. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it.
November 17, 2017, I said on WeChat with the second sister, mom two days only ate a small bowl of rice, I'm a little afraid. 18 afternoon about 4:00 or so, as usual, go to the mother to do dinner, I rode a motorized bicycle almost to the mother downstairs, the second sister called me to say to pick up the old mother to go to her home for a few days, I asked her to receive her home already? The second sister said just get on the car just to the double treasure near the supermarket, I also happened to be in the vicinity, look at the time 16:18 minutes, hurry to turn the direction to catch up with them, then it happened to be a lot of vehicles, in the vicinity of the sixteen elementary school to catch up with them, and the mother and the second sister, they said hello and went home.
November 21, 2017, 12:32 pm, suddenly received a phone call from the second sister's home, said that the mother's physical condition is very bad, let me notify the eldest sister to quickly go to the second sister's home, to send the mother to the hospital to see a doctor. The second brother-in-law drove, we siblings and sister-in-law will mother to the hospital, the checkups let the hospitalization procedures. The doctor informed us that the patient needed 24-hour care. In the evening, my elder brother stayed behind to take care of my mother, and we all went home to rest. At 8:39 that night, I received a phone call from the attending doctor, saying that my mother was critically ill and asked me to go to the hospital quickly, we siblings to the hospital, the attending doctor told us about my mother's condition, so that we all signed the critical notice. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night.
On November 27th, around 7pm, the attending doctor asked me to go to the nurse's station to find her, and told me about my mother's condition, saying that there was no need for the patient to continue her treatment at this hospital, and that all the methods and medications that they had used had already been used. If the treatment was continued in this hospital, there was a possibility that the condition would deteriorate further and the patient might pass away at any time. In the event of an emergency, the medical staff might use measures such as tracheotomy, ventilator-assisted respiration, electric defibrillation, cardiac massage, installation of temporary pacemaker, etc. I said that these resuscitation measures could be used. I said that I could not decide whether to use these resuscitation measures and that I had to listen to my siblings' opinions! That night, the attending doctor asked me to notify my siblings to come to the hospital and tell them about my mother's condition again, and asked us to sign the critical care notice again. He said that if we wanted to continue the treatment, we would have to have a heart bypass surgery, and that there might still be a ray of hope. Said the hospital does not have the conditions to do this kind of surgery, to seek our views, whether we agree to transfer to the hospital to continue treatment, to go to the heart bypass surgery, we asked the doctor, for an 83-year-old man, edema all over the body stayed in the hospital for half a month. There is no improvement in the situation, do heart bypass surgery, will it be life-threatening? That is, if the operation is successful, is there any possibility that the condition will improve? The doctor replied, this she can not answer us, we have to listen to the operating hospital doctor's answer!
Back in the hospital room, we asked my mother if she would agree to be transferred to the hospital for the heart bypass surgery, and she replied that she would not do it! She also said that one of her neighbors, an old man, died not long after the heart bypass surgery. Although my mother is over 80 years old, she has always been thinking clearly, speaking fluently, and her mind is not confused at all. Her eyes don't blur, her ears don't go back, and her memory is strong.
In the hospital this half month, whenever I see my mother's hands in a bottle, but also several times a day to eat a lot of pills, each time to swallow the pills are very difficult, always caused by non-stop vomiting, the whole body trembling, my tears will be in the circle of the eyes in the whirlpool! I wish I could swallow those hard-to-swallow pills for her!
Mother is very strong, like neat and tidy, it is difficult to see the extra clutter at home, the room is always clean and organized. When I was hospitalized, the doctor said that I had to be absolutely bedridden, and that I had to solve all my problems in bed. However, every time she urinated or defecated, my mother insisted on carrying a syringe in her hand, so that we could hold the bottle and help her to the bathroom in the ward. Even the pumping days, she refused to solve the problem in bed, because the pumping can not be unplugged, in the hospital bed, despite wearing adult diapers, she was determined not to urinate and defecate, the older brother had to buy a simple toilet, one hand with the bottle, the other hand is still in the pumping of medication, difficult to sit on the bed in our support, easy to sit on the toilet to urinate and defecate! Several times the nurse saw the tachycardia on the screen and ran into the ward, and once she saw her mother relieving herself, she criticized us severely! There was hardly a day during the hospitalization when she didn't argue to be discharged!
January 1, 2018, in the morning, I went to the hospital to change the big brother to go home to rest, as soon as I left the elevator entrance, just ran into the attending doctor, she once again told me about my mother's condition. Said that just like this further treatment is not much good, the condition will still worsen day by day! Let's get out of the hospital as soon as possible, and take good care of it at home! On the afternoon of January 3, after hanging the last bottle of human albumin, we took my mother out of the hospital and went home!
Back at home, my older brother looked after me for a few days, and asked me to replace him for a day, and go home to get some change of daily necessities. Later, my brother, my second sister and I, the three began to take turns living in the mother's all-day care. Because my elder sister was not in good health and could not stay up all night, we didn't let her participate in the care, and when we needed to do something, we would call her to come over. During the day, it was fine, but at night, it was hard for my mother to lie down and sleep, she always just lay down and had to sit up again, and she could not sleep for three hours during the day and night, so my elder brother could not rest at night, and he was very tired during the day, which made it very difficult for him to take care of her! Later, my brother and sister-in-law took care of him for three days, and my second sister and I took care of him for two days. After insisting on this for half a month, my mother's condition worsened again, because she could not urinate, and her whole body was edematous, and all the medicines she took did not work, especially the edema of the feet and the knees, which was even worse, and then the skin of the lower legs started to break in several places in a few days, and a lot of viscous clear-colored liquid continued to come out from the broken places. We change the medicine every day, wrapped in gauze, not long after, even the trouser legs are soaked, and then change the medicine, not even bothering to wrap it in gauze, the medicine will be washed away by the outflow of liquid! ...... In such a situation, the next big brother alone will be more difficult to care for! We changed to a two-day rotation, the eldest sister saw that the three of us are already exhausted, have lost more than eight pounds in weight, so she insisted on participating in the care of mother with the three of us. The second sister was already in a weak physical condition, and her weight of less than 70 pounds was reduced to 60 pounds! Sometimes see the second sister lying in bed to rest a little, mother to urinate and defecate, I really can not bear to wake her, but! I can't help my mother's particularly heavy body, and I hate myself for being so weak! One day, when I was helping my mother to sit up, after a period of gasping and vomiting, my second sister and I sat down next to my mother to support her, and I put my arm around my mother's shoulders so that she could lean on my arms. My mother told my second sister and I that she would die after the New Year, and my second sister and I knew that my mother was feeling that she didn't have much time left and wanted her children to be happy after the Spring Festival!
My second sister and I cared for, at first, two people can still change at night to rest, and then my mother urinated and defecated when the two of us to help are feeling very hard! On the last day of my mother's care with my second sister, at 5:00 a.m. when I was helping her to urinate and defecate, I was dizzy and fell headlong onto my second sister, and if it wasn't for my second sister's pair of skinny shoulders that I was holding onto, I would have fallen down. After helping my mother to urinate and defecate on a simple toilet, my second sister went to rest for a while, and I sat next to my mother, who looked into the air, as if talking to herself, but also as if saying to me, "How can God be so unfair to me, if you want me to die, hurry up, and if you want to live, let me live well, and don't torment my sons and daughters like this!
On February 20, 2018, at 1:50 pm, my elder brother called me and said that my mother was not working and asked me to go over quickly. When I arrived, I saw my mother half lying on the back of the quilt, her speech was not very clear, I took her hand and shouted "mom", she slightly opened her eyes, and told me to live well, do not hold grudges! Then she closed her eyes and never spoke again. Later, when my brother and sister-in-law came to visit, she took their hands and said the same thing once. Finally, my elder sister's son called from out of town, and my elder sister asked her son to talk to my grandma, and when she heard the voice on the phone, my mother said two sentences in an inaudible voice, and these were the last words my mother said to us. The last two words she said to us were the last words she said to us. The next two words she said were when she was on her deathbed, a few hours before she passed away, she told her big sister that she had to take a dump, and when we told her to do it on the bed, she couldn't even keep her eyes open, but she still wanted to get off the floor and sit on the toilet seat. It took the three of us, my brother, sister and I, a great deal of effort to get her on the toilet seat next to the bed. Eldest sister said that maybe this was the last time she would have to go down to the floor to pee or poop, and then we took diapers and put them on the bed for my mother, and told her that the next time she wanted to pee or poop, she should do it on the bed, and don't worry that we would do it properly, and that we wouldn't dirty the bed. After about two hours or so, my sister heard my mother say "poop, poop" twice. I and my second brother rushed over, a look is really poop, cleaned up, big sister with hot water to mother clean, cover the quilt, from this point on mother did not say another word.February 21, 2018 1:50 am, mother stopped breathing, and left us forever!
Night Lyric
A few wisps of streaming clouds to the west of the sun, the pale twilight birds mournfully cry. The wind is blowing the fallen leaves of the mountains, and the rain is drizzling the flowers, and they are lost.
I'm covered with scabies and sadness, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get away with it. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world.
Sisters hand in hand
Cold sky blue fog cold wind rushing, the end of the year time shallow and thick. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The first time I saw this was when I was a kid, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a kid. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Untitled
The wind and rain are bleak, and the sadness and sorrow are real. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Chi - mother of the night
Nai days, the end of the year snow cold silver river. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products in the world, and you'll be able to do it in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. The more you worry about it, the more sad you are, the more you have to pay for it, and the more you have to pay for it. The oldest old man holding a stick, withered wind and lonely candle, tired of listening to the outdoor chirping noise. I've been working on this for a while now, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it work.
The miserable days are like years. The darkness of the quiet, dark contempt of the morning and evening, bamboo rain colorful spots. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The bottom of the pen knows the level of narrowness, starlight and moon shadow, rain temples and wind. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money to pay for the services you need. The day without a sundial shuttle, this night is frustrated, so the ghost of a sad sigh. I am not afraid of the power, the love of hand and foot is infinite. I will do my best to fulfill my filial piety and to serve my children with me. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it to my bedside. I am sorry that the roots of the cypress tree are broken at night. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it.
Partridge Sky
A song
The night is quiet and deep, looking at the moon strings, a partridge sky for my mother. The time is limited, the memory is like a stream of bubbling noise.
We welcome the rain and snow, the clouds and smoke, and walk around the globe. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it!
The second song
The years have been hard on the road, a partridge day for my mother. The world is not a place where you can get a good deal on your own.
I think about the past, and I think about the fate of the past, and I think about how I spent my childhood under the fence. The sun is now shining, and we have a long history of love and affection.
Three songs
The rabbit has been flying away, and I've been giving my mother a partridge in the sky. The sky is hot, the eyes are full of gold stars, the footsteps are difficult.
After the bitter and spicy, savor the salty and sour, toil and toil for the home. The road to the red dust, a few degrees of wind and frost, a few changes.
Four songs
Memories are haunted by a hundred senses, and four partridge days are assigned to my mother. The family is warm and loving, and they have suffered a lot to eat all of them.
The heart is vigilant, the intention is pious, long-term depression did not open face. The time is like a brush with sad clouds, and the carving marks of the years are pressing on the thin shoulders.
Five songs
Dreams are often left in the memory of the article, for my mother five partridge sky. The teeth of the grooves are diminishing, and the skin color is yellow with purple spots.
The people are lonely, they are hobbling, leaning on the window and looking at the cold moonlight. The first time I saw this was when I was a little girl, and I was so happy to see you.
Six songs
Tears in the eyes of the night sigh, for my mother six partridge day. I'm not sure if I've ever had a good time, but I'm sure I've had a good time.
Piling up barricades and tying up love affairs, I have been working hard to make sure that I don't have a lot of time on my hands. The first time I saw this was when I was in the middle of the night, when I was in the middle of the night.
Seven songs
It's hard to find a doctor, so I'm going to give a partridge day for my mom. The clinical treatment of many portals, the preparation of the formula a few hurdles.
Cutting the grass, cutting the elixir, astragalus yellow into the medicine to beg for peace. The silver needle pricked meat salt bottle hanging, synthesized Chinese and Western all over the bill.
Eight songs
Cui reduced red declining leaves spinning, for the mother eight Fu partridge sky. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The heart is in a state of anxiety, tears are in the air, and the brow is locked in a tormented position. The first thing I want to do is to make sure that I have a good understanding of what is going on in the world and what is going on in the world.
Nine songs
My daughter was at the bedside of her mother, and I gave her a partridge in the sky. I'm exhausted, I'm short of breath, I'm short of breath, I'm short of breath, I'm short of breath, and I'm short of breath.
The heart has knots, the mouth is hard to pronounce, sadness without tears shattered Dan Tian. The first time I saw this was when I was a kid, and it was the first time I had ever seen a kid.
Ten songs
Hand in hand with the sad chapter of a thousand feelings, for my mother ten partridge sky. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm going to be able to do it.
The love and affection of the people is very strong, and they are not afraid to protect their home. The spirit of the hero has been blessed by the children and grandchildren, and his virtues have been passed down through the generations.
Butterfly Lovers' Flower
Unlimited sadness can't stop, tearful eyes, looking at the end of the road. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
The cemetery is surrounded by green trees, and the birds are still in the nest. The first time I saw this was when I was in the middle of the night, when I was in the middle of the night, when I was in the middle of the night!
The Butterfly Lovers
The past has gone, and it's early spring. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a pair of shoes or boots that you want to wear to your wedding. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products in the world, and you'll be able to do it all in one place.
Butterfly Lovers - Thinking of Parents
The time is far away, and it is hard to keep it, and it is hard to travel on a cloudy road. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world!
The age of the voice of the misty go, separated from the yin and yang, dream often look at each other. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world!
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world.