Refusing my parents' offer to send me to college and sending out my luggage, I came alone to the city that I loved thousands of miles away from home and a little bit of Yegong. Lanzhou station's underground passage, plastered with tourism advertisements of the Northwest style, I looked at the desert's vastness, looked at the overflowing colors of the Danxia, looked at the vicissitudes of the grottoes, grinning: it turns out that the Northwest you like, in addition to the scorching sun and sandy winds, and there is so much compelling power.
In fact, the initial impression of Lanzhou in my head, but also geography textbooks on the inland transportation hub and history textbooks on the Silk Road, is a Yellow River, a bowl of beef noodles and a book of "Reader". But then I realized that Lanzhou is where all of Shen Shishu's beliefs lie, where there is his northwest dream, his ballads, and his soul's hometown and hotbed.
And I, because of a person, yearning for a city.
When I arrived, it was eight o'clock in the morning, Lanzhou's morning came later, I took the liberty of intruding into the lazy morning light, with an unnamed mood into the city. Looked at an unknown street with authentic beef noodles; looked at a long rushing river, a mother river praised in essays since childhood; looked at an iron bridge leaping from north to south, guarding its hundred years of history ......
I hurriedly surveyed this strange land, as if begging for something, but also as if there is nothing. The headphones echoed with the same "Lanzhou, Lanzhou" that I've been listening to for more than two years, but in a flurry of familiar melodies, today and yesterday, juxtaposed and staggered, a dizzy spell.
Two
The year I entered my second year of high school, the school held a welcome party for the freshmen. At that time, "Nan Shan Nan" had not yet come out of nowhere, and the ballad was not as widely sung as it is today. But that night, after the lively rock and handsome street dance, Shen Shishu quietly sang a song "Lanzhou, Lanzhou", which has been sung to my heart.
Probably only at that age, we can easily enough to fall in love with someone because of a song.
That year, Shen Shishu senior.
It is a very good idea to have a good time.
I followed all of his social media platforms, although almost all of them were about ballads, about traveling and distant places. But I still try to collect all kinds of fragments related to him, trying to put together a more complete Shen Shishu. Gradually, I learned that he not only loved ballads and traveling, but also loved reading and calligraphy, and wrote beautiful essays and handsome lowercase; he loved the thickness and breadth of the Northwest, and decided to go to Lanzhou since he was in high school; he had a clean face and a good-looking guitar ...... In a grade where boys were addicted to basketball and online games, and girls were eager to dress up and fantasize, Shen Shishu appeared on the scene. The year of dress up and fantasy, appeared in my life Shen Shishu, even the name is full of romanticism color.
Near the college entrance exam, the school carried out a "help the college entrance exam" activities, each sophomore class docking a senior class, the younger generation for the older generation to write some blessings and encouragement. When I saw the class of Shen Shishu written behind my own class, I didn't hesitate to take up this formalized and wasteful job. And in order to give a few words exclusive to Shen Shishu without being able to know my own little heart, I actually spent a whole week's evening to write a letter to each of the forty-five people in their class.
At that time, I finally understood what it was like to have a thousand words but not to be able to say them, and after thinking for a long time, I finally wrote with one stroke: When you are tired of preparing for the exam, tell me about your Lanzhou.
In order not to let my week's effort bye bye wasted, I just thought hard to think of such a story that will have a sequel. Those days were like going through a huge gamble, betting hard on my entire mood.
He wrote me back, of course, many of their class wrote back, and when the class president handed me a stack of various colored pieces of paper, I literally shook my hand and pulled out the light green stationery from a pile of "thank yous":
I don't know what appealed to me, the heroism of the old days or the slow pace of today's life.
I don't know what attracts me to it, the heroism of ancient times, the slow pace of today, the easy-going way of life or the straightforward character of the West, anyway, every time I listen to Lanzhou, Lanzhou, I always feel that I belong to Lanzhou, so I have to go back to it, either sooner or later.
After watching it, I changed my high school goal in the upper right corner of my desk from my seaside to his inland.
"Lanzhou, always out in the early morning; Lanzhou, the night warm drunkenness; Lanzhou, flowing endless Yellow River water to the east; Lanzhou, the end of the dream is the entrance to the sea ......" Some people say, the best way to ruin a song is to use it as an alarm clock. But no one knows, in the year of senior high school preparation, in each sleepless morning, as long as the song "Lanzhou, Lanzhou" low ringing, will be enough to give me the strength and heart to light up the whole day.
In those days, I didn't dare to be cocky and arrogant, but I also couldn't help but feel sorry for myself, and I kept denying myself and reassuring myself, and every day I stared blankly at the corner of the table for a while, and then I kept on pumping my fists and singing.
That year, I was like spending all my heroism in this life.
At the end of the examination, students around the good or bad results, most of the swarm of volunteers to fill in the north of Guangzhou, in the admissions list, the school more than a thousand graduates, only I chose the northwest, chose the Lanzhou.
At that time, my grades were good enough to go to the best schools in Lanzhou, but like an oath, with the "Lan" school filled all the spaces on the volunteer list, from one to three.
"Lanzhou Lanzhou, all Lanzhou. Are you crazy? Beef noodles are so attractive? Or is your heirloom buried in Lanzhou? Or your ancestral enemy lives in Lanzhou?" Tablemate Bai Ze had to send me a screenshot of my own volunteer, read it and threw over several question marks in the raw.
Yes, even the table with two years of Bai Ze, do not know you Shen Shishu is my taboo heart.
I just want to travel to a land that is nowhere to be seen, to pay the bill for my long crush.
Three
Probably because of the young, so there can be unlimited possibilities, our dreams always have a large number of opportunities can be realized. 2013, Shen Shishu graduated from high school, backpack stuffed with an acoustic guitar to Lanzhou; 2014, I graduated from high school, the heart of the heart of the stuffed with a Shen Shishu, to arrive at his university.
The first day I arrived, I hiked several streets of a city, so I was looking forward to it. I looked at this completely new land, looked at the people coming and going, here is the purest sun and the most sincere smile, as well as, I spent my youth to heart.
But in some moments, I was a little confused, fell in love with this city, in the end is the love of the house, or can not help but heart fit.
That ordinary can no longer be ordinary afternoon, I sat in the dormitory for a whole afternoon, I do not know if I can not find an excuse to contact Shen Shishu, or a moment of nervousness and panic.
The day is very late in the northwest, just when the darkness descends, the cell phone ringtone unexpectedly rang, still "Lanzhou, Lanzhou" -
Hello, I'm Shen Shishu, I heard that you have come to Lanzhou, meet.
The voice is still gentle and pure, but I was surprised enough to be at a loss for words.
Under the ambiguous streetlight, the boy I had looked up to and fantasized about countless times walked slowly, and the girl beside him was warm and beautiful. He stopped in front of me, enough enthusiasm and enough detachment, said: "small hometown, our class teacher called me, said you are the whole grade is the only one to come to Lanzhou it. I'm not sure if I can help you, but I'm sure you'll be able to help me.
I would like to ask you who the girl next to you is, I would like to ask you if you remember before the college entrance exams to your class wrote forty letters to me, I would like to ask you in Lanzhou whether or not the heart, I would like to ask you whether the ballad is on the road,......, but a "small hometown", shattered all of my desire to ask. The first thing I want to do is to ask you about your own personal life.
Yes, I was the only one in my grade who came to Lanzhou.
That night, I sat on a bench by the Yellow River, behind the street with the lights on, in front of the Yellow River going east, the left side of the imposing Zhongshan Bridge, and the right side of the bench, which was half empty.
I don't listen to "Miss Dong", and no stranger gave me a "Lanzhou". I only bought two cans of Yellow River beer, because I believe that even if three people become tigers, there must be some reason to drink to their sorrows.
The ear is still that song, oh, it turns out that I have always been in the self-deception not to pay attention to the other two lines of that song: no longer see the wind like a teenager plaid shirt corner raised, from the lonesome of the White Pagoda behind the mountain quietly fall rain tonight, the Yellow River is not east to go to the ripples hit on the moment, thousands of miles away from the high building of your sleepless nights ... ...
The Yellow River is the only place in the world where you can buy a beer, but it is also the only place in the world that you can buy a beer. ...
Lanzhou night is very beautiful, but also very lively, I originally thought I walked into the city, but at the moment, but also pretentious feel that they are just a worthless bystander. The heart is not twisted, I do not know is lost in the heart of the person, or lost like the person's own, every northwest of the evening wind blowing through, are empty echo.
The temperature difference in Lanzhou is very large, obviously at lunchtime or blazing sun, the night wind is a little cool. I think if there are no two cans of Yellow River beer, it must be refreshing. But at the moment, it was just dizziness, and cold. I clicked on my cell phone map, looking for a more lively place to warm up in Lanzhou.
And the book said almost, Lanzhou is a "no alcohol is not a seat, no alcohol is not rivers and lakes" place, I think what I saw that day must be the Yellow River Beer Plaza, thousands of plastic tables gathered, rowing boxing and drinking, loudly chatting and bragging, sparring is like comparing swords, shaking hands is to be worshipped, the city of the Northwest in the late summer of this alcohol-rendered summer. This city of northwest China, in this alcohol rendered late summer night, full of a kind of bold romanticism.
The first time I drank, probably the whole person followed the rhythm of bold up, suddenly feel that he is also a horse and dust of chivalry, just let go of a section of the old story of the fast and furious rivers and lakes.
Four
That day I sat from the square until late at night, and then returned to my campus, because I, and belong to my campus. Regularly, I went to class, got out of class, called my mom, and stayed in the library for hours at a time.
After I saw Gone with the Wind, I read a passage: I sewed a beautiful suit and fell in love with it, and then Ashley came riding up on his horse, and he looked so beautiful and so different, and I put that suit on him, and didn't care if it fit him or not, and I didn't want to see how it really looked. I had been in love with that beautiful suit, not with him as a person at all.
The fit was so good that I nearly shed a tear.
Maybe it's the same as what many books say, that what I like is just the self that I like. Playing the role of director in a windy fantasy, always trying to write a beautiful script, mold a beautiful protagonist, and all kinds of picturesque stories. It happened that he came at this time, and so all the stories had a logical reason to start. Later, knowing the crappiness of the story, I still chose to deceive myself and others, not because the drama is not him, but just used to him and their dreams together.
At that moment, hiding a few years of small emotions suddenly released, I took out the corner hidden in the cabinet, for him to write the last diary, although only two sentences, but from now on to say goodbye to their past selves -
Why make the mistake of meeting in plain sight, as destiny.
Five
Probably, Lanzhou is just like the Yellow River that passes through the city, never knowing whether the seemingly calm river is underneath the mud, undercurrent or whirlpool. So probably the story that is loaded into it will always be a hundred turns, full of mystery and compulsion.
At 15:08 on April 15, 2015, a 4.5-magnitude earthquake occurred in Lintao County, Dingxi City, Gansu Province, and at 15:39, a 5.8-magnitude earthquake occurred in Alashan League, Alashan Left Banner, Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region. I still can still time the two news I saw on April 15 specific to each hour and minute, because Lanzhou, between these two places.
The campus where we are located is some distance from the center of Lanzhou city, so we felt a stronger tremor than in the city, when I was in the dormitory hugging the computer dizzily knocking out the simultaneous sound of a special interview, the plank bed above my head suddenly shook, I reflexively glanced at my roommate who likes to play pranks, and found that she was also looking at me with the same consternation, ruled out the roommate in the trouble, ruled out the car crashed into the building, we realized the earthquake and hurriedly ran downstairs.
Or big or small aftershocks from time to time shake our school building, the earthquake is not very big, but in the circle of friends, microblogging, space instantly brush the screen. Just as I was bored to worship the earthquake shaped the paragraph player, the phone suddenly rang. How could I not expect, but it was the old deskmate Bai Ze, who had not been contacted for nearly a year in college.
"Hello? Where are you now? Earthquake you have an impact on your place? How is it now?" He still has the habit of opening the door and throwing out a few questions.
"Brother, only four or five magnitude earthquake, you are more excited than me ah. As for it ......" I silently rolled my eyes in my mind.
"The first call did not get through, I thought ......" Perhaps the surrounding sound is a little noisy, perhaps just a little nervous out of the hallucination, Bai Ze's voice came to my ears actually a little choked.
"You don't think I'm shipwrecked." I on this end just put the white eyes Ctrl + C + V.
"If I am also in Lanzhou will be good, really afraid of you this pig earthquake is still in the nest sleep." Bai Ze ignored my flirting and said to himself, "But let me tell you, the college entrance examination volunteering is like playing tricks on me, the first three are Lanzhou, and the first three are not admitted. Is not very pit?!"
After the college entrance examination, he only told me that he went to Jinan, and nothing more. This is still considered the first mention of it. "Pit what pit ah, anyway, you do not like the Northwest much."
"But I like you."
More than a semester gone, weekdays every day to tear each other down, the old desk suddenly came up with such a sentence, I stood frozen in the Northwest under the sun, surprisingly a moment at a loss for words ...... hung up the phone.
SMS soon came over, a series of several:
Do you know that hanging up the phone in the middle of the day is very rude.
I followed the QQ, microblogging and microblogging of almost everyone around you, and the whole world knows that I am looking at you.
In fact, what I am afraid of is not the size of the earthquake, just afraid that even if the earthquake is not big, but I am far away from you.
......
How could I not have imagined that such poetry and warmth came from Bai Ze, the fragments of the past stumbling towards me, perhaps, is the eyes looking at the distant mountains of the people, have no time to take into account the shelter of the trees in the near. Just, just like when I was a child, the hard work of writing down the composition was torn out by the teacher, even if I remember the beginning and the process, but no longer have the mood and strength to rewrite an ending.
"I ...... am sorry."
"I, for one, can afford to wait."
Six
"Lanzhou, always out in the early morning; Lanzhou, warm drunkenness at night; Lanzhou, trickling endless Yellow River water to the east; Lanzhou, the end of the dream is the entrance to the sea ......" ear is still the song, but only their own actually It took two years for the meaning of the last line to dawn on me. Probably every meeting in this world is a story that varies from person to person, I used two spring and fall to weave out the beautiful dream in this city to the end, but also here, a long love of the sea said to me, he is always waiting for my entrance.
I'm not sure if it was touching or emotional, and I'm not sure if it was another new dream. Many times, I look at the map a few words on the Yellow River, looking at one end of Lanzhou and one end of Jinan, and I do not know what the mother river can be tied out, what will be. Just, in this slow-paced land, some habitually think, and so on.
Unconsciously, has been infiltrated by the rhythm of the city.
Shen Jiayin once wrote in an article: "Lanzhou since ancient times is a stagecoach station, constantly being passed by: Huo Zaodong westward march, poking out the five springs of the mountain; Xuanzang sat on a sheepskin raft to get the scriptures, interpretation of the white horse wave; Genghis Khan crashed and buried in Xinglong Mountain, the clothes and crown mound ...... "
Lanzhou, which has been used as a stagecoach stop by generations of people, has become my second home. Once, what I arrived at was Shen Shishu's Lanzhou, it is in me, but it is just a stubborn run; and now, it seems to have become a rhyme with my **** vibration, so that I am at peace with the love, live down.
Not for the trend and lively, not for the remote and lonely, not for catering and carving, not for the promotion and conservative, there is lively and quiet, there is exquisite and spontaneous ...... This is my Lanzhou ah, and in its company, as if for a moment, those minutiae about youth are also vivid and lovely, and even for the world! That porridge a meal of Hongmeng **** degree, have some yearning and obsession.
Since then, I have been in Lanzhou, I am for me.
I have dreamed of driving once tears, with the Yellow River running all the way. Passing through Lanzhou, passing through Jinan, stopped at the mouth of the Yellow River. There, Bai Ze giggled and said to me, a sailor waited here for a long, long time, as long as the captain came, together across the ocean.
When I woke up in Lanzhou, the sun is still sleepy, I learned him to giggle and said, the next dawn, I will sail again may be.