The years are a killing knife, relentless urge people old. Time passes too quickly, unknowingly, China entered the stage of aging. 2020, China's elderly population will reach 248 million, the aging level will be 17.17%.
Looking at these alarming figures, the heart can not help but feel a little panic. Just like the song "a shake will be old" sung in the song, "how to just learn to understand things will be old, how to just learn to tolerate will be old, how to still know the road should go which way will be old, how to still walk to be old."
Listening to the familiar melody, you will lament the relentlessness of the years. Of course, no matter how we hurt spring and autumn, everyone will get old, this is an unchangeable fact and indisputable fact. When a person is really old, he or she will become lonely, helpless, and even sigh. No matter what, there is no stopping getting old. Then when we are old, we must have a clear understanding and plan for our own life, do not have a wind, we are powerless. When you are old, you must be on their own these three "soft underbelly" defense, very realistic and very helpless.
01. Loneliness
Kahlil Gibran said:
"Loneliness is the companion of sorrow, but also a close friend of spiritual activities."
But many women seem to only ever be able to experience the former, unable to consume the latter, so she always feels the need to have a marriage, to have a man with her, even if the marriage is bad and the man is scummy, that's better than nothing.
My mom's an old girlfriend Wang Auntie, when she was young, married to a man with a very poor family, the man's family has three brothers, penniless, but Wang Auntie just like him, the family how to persuade her can not be, then the wedding bride price, but she did not ask for a penny, and then married.
Married, has been very smooth, but since her husband is responsible for the village power station, the day began to quietly change. The power station is a fat, husband and good research, and soon the technology is getting better and better, private work to take more, husband's wallet is also bulging. Men with money become bad, this is not true at all, her husband soon had an affair, Wang Auntie is not unaware of, but she pretended not to know, she character cowardly, do not want to quarrel also dare not make trouble, she thought her husband tired of playing, sooner or later will come back, and then again, they have a child with a daughter of the people, so she is willing to wait. But the husband could not argue with the newcomer's fuss, so he and Wang Auntie showdown, and finally left, but Wang Auntie is very reluctant.
After the divorce, Auntie Wang was much better than before, and we all felt that she was right to leave the marriage, but Auntie Wang told my mom that she was still afraid to be alone, and that she always felt lonely without anyone to keep her company, and she said that she had no talent, and that she was right, because Auntie Wang's husband had been dumped by his mistress, and then he wanted to go back to his family.
And Auntie Wang completely accepted him, which really surprised all of us. Choosing to be with someone who consumes you because you're afraid to be alone? But Auntie Wang clearly didn't understand this, she was so happy to have her husband back that she felt the family was together again.
It is said that Auntie Wang's husband is now all sick, and the aunt is basically every day either accompanying her husband on his way to the doctor's office or serving her sick husband at home. The other day, her husband seemed to have a sudden cerebral thrombosis, but fortunately, he was rescued in time and cured, but his hands and feet are more or less unsteady, Auntie Wang is now at the bedside every day to her husband to serve tea and water, have lost weight a few times.
"Teenage husband and wife old to companion", if the husband is young to treat you very well, the two people in the late years of mutual help is also no harm, but Wang Auntie's encounter is obviously not so, it is said that the man is still often to Wang Auntie shouting, and did not return to her after the return of any apology, then Wang Auntie in order not to be lonely, must be this tired of the burden, but also to the wife's husband. be alone, having to have this tiredness is really too hard for people to understand.
People in their old age, can not be too afraid of loneliness, sometimes, loneliness is the gift of life, when you can enjoy it, is really strong and mature, and if you are afraid of it, then you can only be accompanied by misery.
02. Children
Buddha said: "Husband and wife are destiny, children are debt, no destiny is not gathered, no debt does not come." The phrase "children are debts" is one that Meiniang feels very strongly about.
Because when you raise sons and daughters, and you do your best to raise them, you don't know who will be able to make it in the end, and who won't be able to make it. Some of your sons and daughters may not even become adults, and they will end up being a burden to you for the rest of your life, so what is this if not a debt?
This is the time to be a parent, you have to be open-minded, do not in the child after adulthood, but also continue to go to the burden of his life, because the more you are burdened, the more he can not stand on his own, and then you may also be dragged down.
This was the case with Grandma Li in my hometown. She was widowed a long time ago, and she worked hard to bring up her two children, not being able to afford food and clothing, and giving all the good things to her two children, and not being able to buy any new clothes for herself from the beginning of the year to the end of the year.
But it is not clear that the children are not going to be able to do what she expects them to do. The son on the junior high school, do not study well, with a group of social misfits mixing together, Li grandmother patiently persuasion is useless, finally is a grown-up, also willing to work a class, but always three days fish, two days sun net, often because of absenteeism and deductions, almost fired, no less than let Li grandmother worry.
The daughter is considered to be a good result, and eventually went to the nursing school, but who knows she graduated from work, and a young man in love with a foreign country, was love overwhelmed her, do not listen to discouragement, must be married to a far away, Wang Da Niang to the death of the forced, but also failed to change the idea of her far away from the idea of marriage, ah, the daughter is not counting on it.
Since the child may not be able to count on it, Grandma Li has to keep some of her own money in her hand, but she doesn't think so, she thinks the child is more difficult than she is.
She has a small retirement salary, but she is particularly frugal, as long as enough to make a whole number, she is either supporting her son, or subsidizing her daughter, and she never has any money left in her hand.
It was only when she was hospitalized that she realized that she was short of money. The son did come, a son did not, the daughter also just carry a little fruit to come, money on the money is also not a dime. In the end, a relative of Grandma Li's who is a doctor helped her to advance the money, which gave her a pretty big blow.
Lying in her hospital bed, she finally realized that she could not count on her children. The company's website is a great place to find out more about the company's products and services, as well as to find out more about the company's products and services. A clinical lady also said to her, don't care so much, children and grandchildren have their own blessings. If you want to rely on yourself in your old age, you have to have two dollars in your hand. The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers," he said, adding that the company has been working on a number of projects in the past few years.
All of us would like to have a filial child in our old age, but the reality is that a lot of young people are not chewing on the old man, so we have to be thankful for that. So, don't think about their lives, don't let them become your weakness, you should have let go, as the saying goes, "love to the depths is to let go", you have to be willing to let the people you love to suffer a little.
From the long-term point of view, the children have hands and feet, let them go to the bar, so they will know more about self-reliance, but also know more about your hard work. You need to think more about yourself, because without children, you at least have money in hand, so that you can be prepared in later years.
03. Body
As the saying goes, it is a blessing to have a healthy body when one grows old. Health is the body's capital, in human life, the most precious is also health. Health is the source of happiness in life, is the root of life. Although health can not replace everything, but without health, it is the same as no everything. To have a healthy body and mind, you have to eat well and not treat yourself badly.
My dad is now helping me with my kids with my mom on one side and taking care of my brother's kids on the other. He stays at my house at night, but he has to go to my brother's place early in the morning the next day to take my brother's kids to kindergarten.
So, in the morning he always eats a couple of bites in a hurry and goes to wait for the bus, then in the evening after he picks up the kids, he casually takes a few bites of food at my brother's place and comes over to take care of my kids together with my mom, and I always try to ask him to have dinner with us, but he always says it's a hassle. So, it resulted in him having three meals a day, crude and un-nutritious, and then running around and overworking for a long time. It wasn't long before his old problem of herniated lumbar discs came back, and then woe be unto him, he suddenly had a fever again the other day.
Many diseases are cumulative, not overnight work, the elderly do not have to eat too greasy, but also can not be all the time no nutrition ah, was already running around hard enough, eat and did not eat well, the body can not collapse? After this robbery, my father is considered to open up, also willing to drink a glass of milk every night. Of course, in order to have a healthy body and mind, you have to maintain an optimistic mood and a positive attitude towards life.
My mom is more than my dad think openly, she is particularly good at life, I bought the fruit during the day, she will eat a little bit of everything, and then go out at night to dance a square dance music, usually see what good clothes, direct cell phone to shoot down, and then turn to me, so that I give her to buy, last year's birthday, I must send her a gold bracelet, and then a return home, she will be a variety of show off dejected.
My father said she is vulgar, but I tend to think that she has a good heart and lives every day with vitality. As my mom always says, "In our old age, one day is less than a day, so of course we have to treat every day as if it were our last." My mom is not highly educated, but I think she is simply a philosopher with the wisdom of life.
When you get old, your body will always be your soft underbelly, so you must treat it well and guard it tightly against health and happiness, so that it may be easier to maintain a strong body and be happier and more joyful in your later years. In fact, each of us has its own soft underbelly, it may break you at any time, anywhere, so when you are old, you must be on your own these three soft underbelly of strict defense, very realistic and helpless.
But when you do the "guard", than those who do not pay attention to the quality of life will let you live a little better, is not it? When you are old, let your old age miserable, often these three "soft underbelly", please be sure to be vigilant.