Recently, I read Ms. Lee Chung Ying's "Love Dance for Two", which is real, close to life and the big and small things that have been encountered or are happening in life, so that you can come out of the fog little by little, so that I was attracted to the book at the beginning, and I believe that I will be able to take it out from time to time in the future and read it a few more times.
1. Self-confidence, self-love and self-esteem
Self-confidence is the ability to trust oneself, the kind of ability that brings positive value to a person. Anything that brings a lot of value to oneself, one will love it. It is only when one has love and care for it that one will respect it for existing. So there is enough self-confidence before you can build enough self-love and self-esteem.
Have enough self-confidence, will be grateful for all they have, but also think that all they are worth having, and believe that they will have more, of course, the premise is to be grateful. Then in life will not always have to each other to prove that "he is in love with their own" phenomenon. For example, many women in the birthday, wedding anniversary and so on think special days, hope to receive special gifts, as a way to prove that the other party is to love themselves. In fact, this is the performance of self-confidence, there is a great insecurity, subconsciously believe that they do not deserve to get each other's love.
2. Trusted Psychology
From the ancient "three from the four virtues" to the son-in-law now mom and dad often say, "I'll give the woman to you ah, you must give her happiness," is a kind of trust psychology, I believe that now the vast majority of the people in the world, the most important thing is that they are not the only ones who have the right to know. A kind of entrusted psychology, I believe that now the vast majority of women's values are also the same, after marriage is to put their own lifelong happiness are entrusted to each other. With this kind of mentality, I feel that I belong to you and you have to be responsible for me. Your responsibility is to give me happiness and joy, and my responsibility is to wait for you to give me these, because after marriage and having children, it will be more and more difficult for you to do so, and you will not be able to kick your feet up with the pressure of the old people, the children, the work, and so on, and I will just keep complaining and feeling powerless because things cannot be improved. This is when women often come to a complete standstill as a result, and then there is no more growth and improvement, and the gap between the two sides grows wider and wider. Then the origin of all this is caused by the psychology of entrustment.
The right mindset: I am capable enough to take care of my own life, you are capable enough to take care of your own life, and the two of you together add that extra spark that produces some of the joy of success that you can't get alone.
3. Discuss your inner feelings with each other
Seeing this, in fact, I was very touched by myself, and when I encountered things before, I always like to be silent, thinking that it is not good to pass on negativity to the other side, and also thinking that even if I don't say anything, he should also have to understand what I think mentally, and my husband would always say. "What do you think not to say it how will I know it", everyone will have a different view of a thing, I always keep my own opinion, but in the psychological does not agree with the other side of the view, you can imagine, things will only get worse.
"Please take your emotions home with you!" When I saw this sentence, it truly said what I thought deep in my heart, we are ready to share the same sweet **** suffering, white head to old age, so I am willing to share or share your emotional feelings, because I know when I have emotions, I also want you to share.
I am grateful that I have the chance to read this book, and I believe that through my own continuous learning and hard work, my life "partner" will be more and more happy, and his happiness is also the greatest happiness of my life!
Just finished reading "Love Dance for Two", the heart is y touched. The author of this book is Li Zhongying, who is known as the "Chinese world's international NLP masters". He hopes that this book can help people know how to do something for themselves, and achieve greater success and happiness in their love life. This book introduces real-life concepts and techniques designed to help and guide people to actually and actively do better for themselves, their love life, and the people they care about.
When a man and a woman form a family, and then have children, the question of how to love each other, between husband and wife, and between parents and children, is a big issue that affects everyone's happiness, and Ms. Lee's book is the key to unlocking the door to a happy life for us.
From this book, I learned that couples want to have a happy and fulfilling married life, and constantly improve the communication between the two and the relationship is very important, but also to pay attention to some of the methods of communication and skills, such as when communication is better, do not choose to communicate in the two sides of any one of the two parties in the mood to communicate, but in the mood of two people are in a good mood, the environment is quiet, comfortable, mainly There should be a harmonious atmosphere, so that communication is more effective. Another example is the expression of communication also has some skills, if the other party said and their own position does not match, do not speak directly to the other party is not satisfied with the place, but to design a few "with" sentences, each of which should be the other party to have a "yes" response, and then come from their own views, so that the other party Instead, you should first design a few "follow" sentences, each of which requires a "yes" response from the other party, and then say what you think. Of course, the two most important prerequisites for communication are: first, both parties should have the sincerity to communicate; second, both parties should treat each other equally. In addition, from this book, I also learned some skills to deal with emotions, including when I have emotions and when others have emotions, how to deal with these two situations. In addition, there are, from learning that couples can establish some problems between the conflict of discussion processing mode, etc., in order to be able to solve problems and conflicts well. The couple to establish some **** the same goals and future vision, to establish some "golden time" "space time" to optimize the relationship between the two.
From this book, I've elevated my mind and grown in my ability to run a marriage. The ability of family relationships, my home is increasingly becoming a瓢泼一天的船只归来时的温馨安全的港湾, but also become the crew regained the strength to once again sail sail out to sea refueling station.
"Marriage can't really eliminate loneliness, but he's not useless - he can replace it with worry." Love-marriage relationships in today's changing society are indeed problematic and crisis-ridden.
Falling in Love with a Duo is a timely book.
Falling in Love with a Duo is a light-hearted and fun book, close to life and easy to learn, and good luck is still evident. In addition, the book learning new beyond is also refreshing. First of all, the book reflects the distinctive nature of the times; secondly, the newly occurred positive and negative examples of love and marriage. Anatomy of the negative examples, so that the book has a better persuasive power: and then, the book puts forward a number of practical skills, based on constructivism Rilen. Emotional Intelligence Rilen. The support of phenomenology as the philosophical background of the family system arrangement of Liren and so on, so that the book embodies the practice and theory of the new fusion, the richness of its content to make my concept of the impact of all aspects.
This book shows the way for us to seek true love on the long road of life. This book shows the way to happiness. Love only gives you the motivation to do something for another person, it does not give you the power to control that person.
In the summer, by the same teacher's old classmates recommended, I had the honor to read the Hong Kong psychology writer and counselor, Ms. Lee Chung Ying's work, "Love Dance", from which I benefited greatly.
Love Dance for Two is a book about the psychological aspects of love, marriage, and family, which introduces some examples of how to solve problems in these three areas and practical skills. After reading this book, I found concrete ways on how to build a harmonious marriage and family. At the same time, also understand the problems encountered in the work of education, but also understand why the life of the students of divorced families are prone to problems and more difficult to educate, which has to do with the environment in which the students grew up and the family education, the problems in the students are not formed in a day.
A person's mental health determines whether he can have a successful and happy life, and also determines whether he can contribute to society and the country. Therefore, it is very important to cultivate children's healthy psychology from childhood. However, in real life, many parents do not realize this. They think that the most important thing is to work hard to make money, earn a lot of money, and leave money to their children. It is these ideas that prevent their children from really growing up, resulting in children who only know how to spend money and don't know how hard and difficult it is to earn money. Therefore, all the problems are not the problem of the children themselves, but the problem of the parents.
People need to grow. But nowadays, people tend to be physically mature, but psychologically they are still in the child stage, not really growing up. Those who have not fully grown psychologically, if they become parents, can hardly educate their children in a mature way, so it is even more difficult for the children to fully grow. The main difference between those who have grown and those who have not grown is that those who have grown are able to take care of themselves and others, while those who have not grown need to be taken care of by others. Growing up is a process in which children need to develop independent thinking and decision-making skills, develop good behavior, and accumulate growth experience, which includes both successes and failures.
After reading "Love Duo Dance" 5As I covered up the book, I thought, in this era of too many encounters, too much temptation, and high hopes for love and easy to be disappointed, this book deserves to be read by all those who genuinely expect to have a solid love. --Title
After reading the two books recommended by my teacher, "Finding Your Unexpected Self" and "Dancing in Love with a Duo", I feel that I am just like a bamboo bamboo shoots, shedding a layer of old clothes, reaching a new height, feeling myself sublimating and growing up, becoming calm, self-confident, and powerful, and of course, the past is inevitable, but it is possible to get rid of the past regret. Inevitably, but from the past experience to learn from the experience, to learn the growth of nutrients, it has been the greatest harvest.
Let's talk about how I feel after reading "Dancing with Two Men". The biggest feeling is that I have grown in the intimacy of love.
First, about the effective management of emotions. I used to be aware of the importance of emotional management, but the effect is very low, or moving to force the other party to contact themselves, once the other party does not agree to resort to other extreme means: for example, to marry someone else, and other people to go on a date ...... before I never realized that this is a kind of behavior to hurt the other party, and do not realize that was forcing the other person, not paying attention to the other person's feelings in favor of my own. After reading the idea of causing emotions as stated in this book: it is one's own heart that determines emotions, and one's heart is determined by beliefs, values, and rules and regulations. Therefore, if you want things to bring about an improvement in your emotions, you must first change your own set of beliefs, values, and rules about things. And this is the deadliest flaw I need to change. I also learned the "step-by-step" method, for example, for negative emotions such as he doesn't want to get back together, I did a lot of wrong things in the past, I can feel how big this emotion is in my body, and withdraw from the emotional me and say to her, "Thank you for taking care of me so often. You are in charge of the emotion and I am in charge of figuring it out. When you take the emotion all the way back, I'll figure out a better way. Maybe you want to use this emotion to remind me that this is important, to tell me to think of something, to do something. I already know that, and I will figure it out without this reminder. Please take the emotion back, I need your cooperation, can you?" Generally after saying this, I suddenly became strong inside and focused on figuring things out and doing things, and even if I would still be a little down occasionally, I would continue to think that no matter what, that past experience had shown me what I lacked the ability to do and what I was doing wrong in my relationship, and that I would take it as a lesson to learn from it, and fully assimilate and digest and learn from the meaning of values that could make the future better, so that I could grow up in relationships
The first thing I'm going to do is to learn from my mistakes.
Second, a clear understanding of the problem. In the concept of a healthy psyche, I compared myself and found that I am basically healthy, except for three points: First, the ability to change the beliefs that hinder their growth. Two, understanding that emotions actually come from my belief system. And three, expressing myself effectively. The three fatal flaws of a marriage partner are: unwillingness to change; trusting mentality; and unwillingness to share inner feelings. And my most fatal flaw in a relationship is precisely my unwillingness to change. Because I felt that I was willing to give myself completely to the other person, to be completely loyal and loving to the other person, I used to have a very stubborn idea that "if you love me, you have to accept me the way I am now, if you can't accept me, but want me to change, then you don't love me anymore! ". Because of this, it caused a lot of conflicts and contradictions, and made me have a lot of emotional fluctuations, but I didn't know how to express it, so I resorted to other things, which made the situation worse and worse until I fell into the abyss. He told me several times before, "Let's change each other, get along, get along well, and get married." But I have been stubbornly think he this is not love me, if love me will tolerate my everything, will immediately marry me, will not be so say me, how stupid I am ah!
Finally, for the right way to change. I've been guilty of many of the wrong practices talked about in this book, and have to change my belief system. A belief system consists of beliefs, values, and rules. Beliefs are how one thinks things should be in the world. Values are what one cares about in events, i.e. what is most important, what one wants ......, etc. The rules and regulations are how things should be done. I think I used to have some false belief systems that seriously affected our relationship. For example, I thought that to love someone you had to accept them as they were or you didn't love them. For example, I thought that sex had to happen after marriage, that if it did it had to be marriage, that if we had sex he had to be nice to me, that if he was nice to me he had to be willing to spend money and time for me, that if he decided I was good he should take me to meet his friends, and that the two of us had to be honest with each other about everything, including our exes ...... and so on. I don't know, it is these stubborn belief system triggered my emotions, let me become like an out-of-control beast, can't listen to a little bit of his opinion, always think it's his fault, because he said the words, do the things that make me emotionally out of control, in fact, it's precisely because of my let him uncomfortable practice to let him say those words to do those things, I'm always the cause and effect is reversed, the responsibility is shifted to him, think it's all his fault, it's because he I always put the blame on him, thinking it's all his fault, because he doesn't love me, he doesn't recognize me, and that's why I'm like this. In fact, it is my all kinds of bad performance, only let him away from me more and more far.
So for some of the aphorisms in this book, I will reread them from time to time, so that those correct concepts and practices are internalized in the heart and externalized in the line. I'll be able to make a new me, one that can deal with relationships in a mature way, one that can understand and love a person in the most appropriate way.
A successful marriage is like a well-coordinated duo dance
Reading this book is also considered to give me the right understanding and answer to love. It was like a door opened in front of my eyes. Inside the door was an open mind and a realistic and positive state of life, as well as a true adherence to the ancestral forces and the laws of nature. The book talks about the three winning states that have become the guidelines for us to act as human beings, a keen sense of self clarification and a unique perspective, I feel my own sublimation and growth, I feel the change in my life. I am like the bamboo that breaks through the bamboo shoots, shedding a layer of old clothes and reaching a new height, and more importantly, my understanding of life and the breakthrough of the ego, and the inheritance of the love and power of life. I became humble and peaceful, while being more confident and powerful.
Reading this book made me realize that "love" only gives you the motivation to do something for someone, it doesn't give you the power to control that person. Wanting to be nice to someone, or doing something for someone, does not make you own that person, because no one can "own" another person. One person cannot control another person or change another person. The only person who can change is himself. Perhaps this change will induce the other person to change. When the other person agrees with you and does something in line with your wishes, it is easy to create the illusion that the other person is under your control. Just like when you drive down the road, the cars behind you are not under your control, they just happen to need to go down the road.
Because I love him, I may think that I have the right to demand that his thoughts and behavior follow my wishes. This is to use love as a tool to control others. So, after the initial intoxication, we want to escape from this control - not because we no longer love each other, but because we don't want to feel that kind of control.
Love was originally a beautiful and romantic thing, but it seems to never be able to withstand the baptism of time, do not dare to fall in love is to avoid the pain of the future to face, after reading this book really let me know how to grasp a good love, a happy family, with a correct understanding of the family, I believe that the happiness is not far away.
After reading this book, I realized where my problems are. All the problems come from my own psychology, a person's mental health or not, determines whether he himself can have a successful and happy life, but also determines whether he has no contribution to society and the country. The continuous progress of science and technology has made the material life of human beings more and more abundant, and there are a lot of choices in all things. These choices create a great deal of psychological pressure, such as "what should I choose" and so on. This makes us less and less aware of our own inner feelings and true needs, less and less aware of our relationship status with others and their feelings, and thus more and more alienated from each other. Plus business me, all in business, unconsciously put a lot of experience and time are given to the cause, ignoring the family communication, coupled with my emotional ` will not deal with, too rational thinking often do not know each other in the end to be what, too similar personality often by the rational words provoke each other's anti-reactionary psychology, the small problem of the backlog of the results that led to my current, although it is a failure of the experience, however, but let me know more than, but also to make me know more than, but also to make me know more than. But let me know more over, also through this course this book to understand what is love, what is the family, say a very vulgar words, if heaven give me back a chance, I will try very hard to grasp, so that the happiness is always around ......
"Love duo" after reading 7When I got this book, see the cover of the word on the
When I got the book, I saw the words on the cover and knew there was a good book. I haven't read it yet because of work, but I can't help but read the thoughts of my classmates on the blog.
I - a at home, big man. Now it seems, too a little self-righteous, everything is me, according to me, I'm right, you are all mine, I'm for your own good, you should be how so and so. This is not going to work!!! Love, marriage, family and relationships are a "two-person dance". No matter what or who, you have to maintain a three-win heart, in order to raise a new height, only humility, peace. Don't try to control people all the time.
This book is a tool to teach us how to deal with all kinds of relationships, is to bring to use, very realistic, from family to love to marriage, from children to lovers to the elderly, all aspects of teaching us to lead to create a beautiful life, is a book full of wisdom and insight, a lot of things in the middle of the daily life is confusing or at a loss, but can not be said, a reading of this book. It is a book full of wisdom and insights, in which many things are confusing in daily life or can't help but say, once you read this book, you will realize that you understand a lot of truths and ways to solve the problem.
Thank you for this book, and even more thank you for letting us read this book, which condenses many life experiences and wisdom, and points out to us how to find a happy life on the road of life.
"Love Duo Dance" after reading 8
Not yet got the book, I listened to Zhongyi said he experienced very deep, only read about 30 pages have a lot of feelings, which makes me full of anticipation, when I got the book at first glance to see the author's photo, I feel that this is a very gentle, very upright people. At the same time from his temperament can also feel that he is a very happy person, the content of the book is even more excited.
Just saw the first preface of the recommendation on the inside of the sentence has a great sense of agreement, "you can never find a couple can really completely 'completely honest', because even if they are willing to, in fact, is very difficult to do" against my life, it is really the case. Although we love each other y, we all know that we have a lot of secrets at the same time, but these secrets will not have a negative impact on our love, family, because when the love is really rooted and grow into a big tree, we have a heart of mutual trust in support of us.
The time to read the book is very short, just read a few pages, but I have y felt the book's energy is powerful, there are too many words in my heart produced **** Ming, are I have ever had thoughts and feelings. "No one person can 'own' another person; one person cannot control another person or change another person. The only person each person can change is himself; it is easy to create the illusion that the other person is already under your control; the cars behind you are not under your control and following you, they just happen to need to go that way too." Same as the years of marriage, really is not accustomed to some things on my wife, or behavior, or the way of speaking, always trying to find ways to change her, and in the end found that it is completely wrong, this will only make her pain, I also suffer, when I feel her from her point of view, the previous those who are not accustomed to, and slowly accepted, and even found that those not accustomed to the place is a kind of advantage, and I instead have to I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it," he said.
I want to read this book earlier, I believe it will bring me more harvest.
I have just finished reading Falling in Love with Dancing Pairs, and I am y touched by it. The author of this book is Li Zhongying, who is known as the "Chinese world international NLP master". He hopes that this book can help people know how to do something for themselves, and achieve greater success and happiness in their love life. This book introduces some real and effective concepts and techniques to help and guide people to be able to actually and actively do better for themselves, their love life, and more importantly, for the people they care about.
When a man and a woman form a family, and then have children, the question of how to love each other, between husband and wife, and between parents and children, is a big issue that affects everyone's happiness, and Ms. Lee's book is the key to unlocking the door to a happy life for us.
From this book, I learned that couples want to have a happy and fulfilling married life, it is very important to constantly improve the communication and relationship between the two, and also to pay attention to some communication methods and skills, such as when communication is better, do not choose to communicate in the two sides of any one of the two parties in the mood to communicate, but rather in the mood of the two people are in a good mood, the environment is quiet, comfortable, mainly There should be a harmonious atmosphere, so that communication is more effective. Another example is the expression of communication also has some skills, if the other party said and their own position does not match, do not speak directly to the other party is not satisfied with the place, but to design a few "with" the sentence, each of which should be the other party to have a "yes" response (). Then you can say what you think, so that the other party is more likely to accept your opinion. Of course, the two most important prerequisites for communication are: first, both parties must have the sincerity to communicate; second, both parties must treat each other as equals. In addition, from this book, I also learned some skills to deal with emotions, including when I have emotions and when others have emotions, how to deal with these two situations. In addition, there are, from learning that couples can establish some problems between the conflict of discussion processing mode, etc., in order to be able to solve problems and conflicts well. Couples to establish some **** the same goals and future vision, to establish some "golden time" "space time" to optimize the relationship between the two.