From friends to lovers (how to upgrade from friends to lovers)

I don't know if you who are facing relationship troubles at this time have such an experience.

Once a good friend, or when the name of a friend close to the girl, in the hush-hush after half a year, she may rely on you, but you do not know how to upgrade the relationship, sometimes slightly show a little ambiguity, she was scared of flowers:

Friends and lovers have what **** the same point, probably, each other is certainly like the ingredients.

Do not like each other, that certainly can not do friends, but also because like is not so strong, so can not become a couple.

So, friendship upgraded to love, has a natural advantage, you must have a lot of couples around, must be from friends gradually developed.

So what is the reason why friends don't become couples.

In the final analysis, there are two reasons: The intersection of each other is too shallow, and each other **** the same experience is too boring.

People and people know each other, no matter how much they know and experience each other.

From classmates, coworkers, to the owner of the store you often go to, all may become your friends. But some people can go beyond friends and become a couple not just because they know each other, but also in enhancing the relationship and enhancing each other's **** same experiences.

Relationships between men and women are basically related to their intersections and experiences, which generally speaking fall into four categories.

If your interactions and experiences are shallow, neither of which is up to standard one - then it's a normal nodding acquaintance.

You are quite deep, but the experience of both sides is rather bland.

Many childhood friends are like this, grew up together, but did not *** with the experience of the storm. So usually, the girl will show, "I only take you as a brother" attitude.

The experience is deep, but the intersection has no depth.

Such as a few years ago, I sat in the subway that time, wearing headphones are high, suddenly next to a big brother shouted, scared me a jolt, headphones are almost off, turn your head and look, my own bag was pulled open half, the wallet has been behind a thin man in the hands of a smooth, and now he's standing there in the eyes of the angry big brother.

Big brother is very righteous, said the little girl you do not fear, we are so many people in. The thief was twisted by the masses to the subway security office, I and my brother and each other have no intersection.

If the intersection is very deep, the experience of each other is also thrilling.

This is an American blockbuster.

This is an American blockbuster. The male and female protagonists have been through a catastrophe, and they have embraced each other in such a way that it is easier for them to make love to each other.

Couples are more than friends, there are two kinds of emotions:

One is a deeper level of trust, which comes from the high frequency of interaction with each other.

The second is romance, which stems from the sexual attraction that is activated by ****ing the same experience.

So if you want to turn a friendship into love, you have to do two things.

Heterosexual friends are not usually sexually attracted. If you have "impure" thoughts about each other, you are in love with her.

We call love intimacy because intimacy is the trigger for love.

For us, you may be happy with a lot of friends of the opposite sex, but do not desire intimacy with TA.

Many friends, even if they do not see each other for many years, can still talk about wine when they meet again.

But have you ever seen a couple who didn't see each other for more than ten years, but were still very much in love?

I've never seen it.

The reason why long-distance relationship is a big challenge for love is that the distance cuts off the "intimate contact" between the two sides.

Once you've realized that your former friend is sexually attracted to you, it's a good sign that you're ready to take it to the next level. But it's important to remember that you want to have sexual contact with the other person, but they don't necessarily think so, right? In many cases, this can lead to a downward spiral, and not only will you not be able to turn her into a girlfriend, but you won't even be able to be friends.

But no matter what, activating sexual attraction between friends can help a friendship turn into love.

Another is strong exclusivity. Friendship usually doesn't have exclusivity, but love does. Often, people immersed in friendship pursue a "crowded" environment, fighting the landlord is three people, playing mahjong is four people, playing basketball is five people, playing soccer is eleven people, dancing square dance is a group of people.

However, couples dating dinner and watching movies in the park to live, usually two people.

If you see a girl on the street at the same time holding the hands of two boys, will not think it is unthinkable?

Exclusivity also doesn't just refer to the exclusivity of intimacy, it also refers to the exclusivity that results from intimacy and is directed toward other emotions, such as friendship and so on.

That's why being a "lightbulb" is such a bad experience, as the two people who are "in love" with each other are so inundated that they don't have time to think about you.

In many cases, love is "blind", and exclusion is a typical manifestation of blindness.

So, from friendship to love, the second threshold is exclusivity. If in the process of cultivating friendship, more and more feel that another person's participation makes you feel incongruous, uncomfortable and even unpleasant, it is likely that you are unconsciously, the emergence of love.

How does exclusivity come into play? The easiest way is to create opportunities to be alone at the right point in time.

The first step to becoming a couple is to emphasize consistency from behavioral manifestations to mental states more than being friends.

Prof. Charlene, a clinical psychologist at the University of Kansas, led her team in this study.

Charlene showed a series of videos to assembled college students. The videos consisted of footage of a young man and woman interacting in some public ****ing situation. They ranged from the beach, where they were both dressed in swimsuits, to a coffee shop, where they were dressed casually, to a high-end cocktail party, where they were dressed in formal attire, and the conversations were varied. After watching the video, the college students were asked to rate the level of intimacy between the talking duo by giving them a score.

The results of the study showed that the intimacy value was independent of the content of the conversation, providing a clue to the level of intimacy displayed. Whatever people talk about, or in which settings, or who talks more or less, is not even remotely related to the performance of intimacy. What is talked about, what and how much of the so-called "****-same language" is used, does not differentiate friends from lovers.

"Non-verbal messages" became the central indicator of breaking the boundaries of friendship.

Couples have a multitude of facial expressions and physical contact that friends wouldn't normally choose.

In this experiment, the gestures that had the most positive effect on the observer's assessment of the closeness of the relationship were: being within 45 centimeters of each other; laughing while making physical contact; and, most impressively, making physical contact while not laughing, such as holding hands for an extended period of time or one person ruffling the other's hair inadvertently.

As you can imagine, "hands on" doesn't hold up in intimate relationships, and to break through the friend zone, "hands on" non-verbal messages are important.

What Charlene really valued in her research was a type of behavioral synchronicity, a type of non-verbal messaging that occurs in couples with a strong emotional foundation.

behavioral synchronization, a type of "nonverbal messaging" that is often found in couples with a strong emotional foundation.

Couples subconsciously mimic each other's behavior to achieve a greater degree of behavioral homogeneity than friends. At the same time, couples also seek to express and emphasize their relationship through consistency in everything from the smallest to the largest details.

When one person leans forward in conversation, the other leans forward; when one person stretches, the other relaxes their muscles; and when one person reaches out their hand, the other doesn't immediately pull it away.

Speaking in unison and smiling are also typical of "behavioral synchronization". While this can happen between friends, it's more prevalent in intimate relationships.

But there's more to this behavioral synchronicity. Sometimes, the "couple look" is one of them. In addition to resemblance in looks, conjugal looks can also be expressed through a high degree of consistency in behavior, attitude, and temperament.

In addition, in order to appear more intimate and affectionate, couples will also deliberately pursue synchronization of behavior, emphasizing the homogeneity of each other, "couple dress" is such.

The principle of transition from friends to couples should be: heart to heart, in step. The so-called heart, is to deal with, less self, more **** Ming, find more only you two can get to the point. The so-called pace, is to develop more consistent behavior, similar style of doing things and expression habits. You can create such a feeling before determining the relationship, and she will slowly come closer to you.