You can listen to it
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2013 Shanghai Intermediate Exam Full Score Essay:
Today I want to speak from the heart. Some people say, "We shouldn't live for others." I want to say: "We should not live just for ourselves either." Remember others, know how to be grateful, only then, the long road will not feel lonely and uncertainty. Today, I would like to say from the heart, "Sincerely thank you for the light and heat you have brought to me."
2013 Shanghai Intermediate School Exam: Today, I want to speak from my heart
+Shanghai Candidates
The sky is gradually turning dark, and the wind is blowing the dark clouds all over the place, and I am staring uneasily at the dark clouds above my head.
At that moment, you arrived, carrying a red cloth belt and wearing a thin jacket that was open, the snugly-fitting thermal undergarment inside showing up unobstructed in view. "It's still cold, so wear the singlet and be careful not to catch a cold." I wanted to remind you, in front of so many people, open clothes, this is not good. I did not expect you smiled and said: "Just rushed to give you food, happened to ring the bell, afraid you forget, all the way jogging up, relatively hot." At this time I noticed that around that neck has been covered with a layer of sweat stains, soaked in underwear, a piece of black looks so harsh.
All the way to the dormitory, you will be the family of large and small things to report the same with me, I should all the way, did not listen to much. You finally opened your mouth and asked me about my studies. I stammered a few sentences and buried my head to eat. You lit a cigarette, inhaled two deep and said: "If you're tired, rest more, don't wear out your body, eat more fruit. This is not, your mom specially instructed me to buy fresh apples, I give you to take to ......"
I looked up and looked out the window, thick clouds rolling in. You said you had to go to the bathroom, pulled some paper and went out, I said you stay in the dormitory on the line, no one is there, just lock the door when you leave. You turned around and said, "No, just go to the public restroom." The voice is low, and the pace. I can't understand your stubbornness. Locked the door, downstairs, glimpsed a red bag quietly lying in a corner, the heart shook, a wave of acidity surged to the heart. Vision gradually blurred, Dad's words floated in the ear: "No it, I'll just go to the public restroom." "I go to the public restroom on the line ......" like a needle piercing my heart, I finally understand my dad's heart, not for his own, but for me, and I am ...... Outside the window it's pouring with Pouring rain, as if to rinse what clean like, raindrops on the ground gently patted, as if caressing a frivolous heart. Raindrops in the wind a little line connected to the silk, at the moment to us together. My father was diagnosed with a disease years ago, and I heard that it was quite serious. I remember one time he said: "If I can let me see you have good results, I'm afraid of ......" At that time, his words had not yet spoken, was aside from the mother hastily stopped. The scene of Dad's coy smile seemed to be right in front of his eyes.
Some people say, "We should not live for others." I would like to say, "Nor should we live just for ourselves." Remembering others and being grateful is the only way to not feel lonely and uncertain on the long road. Today, I would like to say from my heart, "Sincerely thank you for the light and heat you have brought to me."
Analysis of the full-score essays in the 2013 Shanghai Intermediate School Certificate of Education Examination:
In front of the beautiful emotions, the more skillful ideas, the more gorgeous language, will be eclipsed. And this kind of emotion is the key to impress the teacher. The text of the "I", see the image of the father, the heart has a few upset, afraid of losing their face. But as the line advances, the author through the "father to the toilet" this detail, to help "I" to find the heart of the good feelings, know should learn to "remember others, know how to be grateful I know that I should learn to "remember others and be grateful". Character demeanor and clothing portrayal, delicate to the point, a "montage" a "dip", the deep love of the father expressed to the fullest. The words "just go to the public restroom" and the action of "going out" are very impressive.
2013 Shanghai Intermediate School Certificate of Composition: Today, I want to say what is in my heart (2)
+Shanghai candidates
I, dead.
Sitting on my own freezer, staring blankly at the black-and-white intertwined grief that densifies this hall, I didn't have the slightest sensation - no breath, no heartbeat, couldn't touch a thing. And the face, expressionless. "Expressionless?" I paused to think, despite the sound of cannons beginning to be heard outside. "Well, that would be the expression that has taken up almost half of my life. A dead face is probably the last thing anyone would say about me! I guess ......"
I saw people walking in one by one. It was my former classmates, from middle school, elementary school, and even a few kindergarten friends I hadn't seen in years. I jumped out of the freezer and approached my classmates who were kneeling on the mat, then sat down cross-legged with my hands on my face, trying to hear how I existed in other people's lives. But their mouths were firmly cuffed like shackles. It wasn't until someone left that I heard small sobs coming from the crowd ...... I gulped and scooted a little closer to see their faces. Expectedly, it was a friendly face. I heard some whispering, "Although his face is expressionless when he's serious, he amuses us when he's being silly ......" I looked up, trying to keep the tears in my eyes. Inadvertently glancing at the Buddha statue on the wall seemed to smile sweetly. So I stood up, tilted my head, leaned over and whispered in their ears, "I do!"
I saw the relatives walk slowly. The adults knelt down, and the little children looked on in bewilderment as they too were held down by the adults. After another unknown amount of time, only the parents, who were already sobbing, were left. My father's eyes were red, and my mother was at my side. This was the first time I saw my mother leaning on my father's shoulder after so many years. The scene made my heart bleed all of a sudden.
It just didn't occur to me that those black hairs that I would see every time my parents came to bring me food had accumulated into gray patches in my growing years. For time, I was so weak that I could not even share a second of aging for my parents. At this time, I brought my parents endless pain. More than ten years of affectionate ants built an anthill, finally let today's tears break through the dike. I fell to my knees, lower and lower, until my body was pressed to the ground. On weekdays they always laugh and teach me to learn to hold my head high, but I can only thank my parents by bowing my head. "Father and mother, please give me the chance, how I want to continue to be with you!" Tearing my heart to the soul ...... "
Child, get up." I heard the customary urging in my ear. I pinched myself hard before believing that I had been reborn from my dream. At this point, I really wanted to whisper in the ear of everyone I saw, "Hello and good morning."
Analysis of the full-score essays in the 2013 Shanghai Intermediate School Certificate of Education Examination:
The idea is strange and novel. The author started from the "death of the self", which is new and original. The first is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you want to do with your life. This is a proposition that can be solved by looking at it from the perspective of a "death". The article is constructed with a "dream", one for the dream, one for the feeling of waking up from the dream. The former spends a great deal of time writing about his feelings for his friends, parents and elders, and this leads to the true love he gained in the heartbreak.
The latter is a brief passage, with a "Hello, good morning" to wake up the dreamer. Who would have thought that a dream would make "me" go through such a bitter pain. This is a great idea, and it's a great way to make people laugh.
I hope to help you, hope to adopt