2. It is said that on the first day of the New Year call your wife kneeling at the door to help you get shoes. A whole year will be good luck, because "women kneeling at the door" (rich and powerful), do not want to live, you can try!
Three. Walking on the road with my husband, fighting, angry, cursing. In front of the two men look back, I immediately installed birdie. Hubby said, "Don't pretend, they didn't look at you, they are looking at which man is such a wimp."
4. Ads on the subway: squeeze it? Buy a car! Ads on cabs: jammed? Take the subway! Are you kidding me?
5. "To determine whether the air quality is good or not you can pick your nose, black is bad air quality." "What about red?" "You're picking hard!"
VI. One day, the pig gave the donkey a problem, asked the word "stupid" under the two worms which is the male, which is the female. The donkey racked his brains and still couldn't answer. The pig scolded: you really a stupid donkey, male left female right!
7. "What's the use of a divorce certificate?" "One more license . Whether you are applying for a job or interviewing for a job, you can always bring a little bit of confidence and self-confidence!
VIII. A friend of her husband is a lawyer, specializing in divorce cases. Asked: "Husband, you do not want to fight the divorce lawsuit in the future, the family is broken up, a little lack of morality." Husband: "Tear down a pair to make two pairs, good virtue and good deeds.
9. Yesterday after dinner, my husband was watching TV in the back room. I was scrubbing the dishes, one of the bowls open a mouth did not pay attention to, and all of a sudden cut my hand. I held up the injured bleeding fingers into the house to the husband to see. The guy took one look at it, and while looking for a band-aid for me, he muttered, "What the hell, didn't you use detergent that didn't hurt your hand?"
1 husband: the doctor said I have arthritis! Wife: Did you ask how it was caused? Hubby: Why ask? It's not that you let me kneel on the scrubboard every day!
Xi. Recently, I like to listen to Little Apple, in the company, go to the bathroom to smoke, suddenly rang the music of Little Apple, could not help but jump up. After about thirty seconds, the back of the weak came a sentence: buddy, jumping finished did not, jumping finished I good answer the phone ......
twelve. The girl friend said to lose weight, let me supervise her. The first day, I did braised pork ribs. The second day, I did stewed chicken pieces. On the third day, I made braised fish. Today, I bought big crabs. Finally, my girlfriend beat me up and started to eat a lot. Just kidding, lose weight, if you lose weight, your seven brothers can spare me ......
13. Since I got married years ago my mom never nagged me again. Every day in addition to watching TV dramas is to jump square dance, look obviously better than before too much, this is what people often say "marry a daughter-in-law, Wang's mother" it!
Fourteen. Yesterday afternoon, my husband went on a business trip, he just left a moment I feel empty, so I sent a circle of friends said: "Alas! Hubby is gone again." Half an hour later, my husband suddenly came back, entered the house without a word, and asked me after looking through every room, "Who are you trying to tell by sending a friend circle?"
15. The wife complained to her husband, "Every morning when you get up you say 'sleepy'. Ask you to do some housework you say 'tired', cooking late you say 'hungry', take the public **** car to and from work you say 'crowded', let you call you say 'expensive'. 'expensive death', riding a bicycle you say 'cold death' ...... how many times you have to die this day and night ah?" Hubby said: "Bored to death!"
Sixteen. After driving you will understand the truth: you can run across the road, not because you run fast, but over the car are stepping on the brakes.
XVII. My writing skills have finally been recognized by my language teacher. Three years ago, his comment to me was "no disease". Three years later, I brought my new writing to him again, and after reading it he said to me with concern, "You're sick."
Eighteen. A client who runs a health center often talks about the benefits of vegetarianism in her circle of friends. Today I invited her to dinner, she asked me: you dry decoration, go home from work will often install here . Repair there?" I smiled: No, decorating is just my job. She: Yeah, vegetarian is just my job, big fish and meat is my life, you do not just point green vegetables, okay?
19. A small girl in the bag loaded with a perfume samples lid fell off, the public transport in the aroma. The little girl took a tissue and began to wipe their own bags, everyone began to look at the joke. Suddenly, sitting next to the little girl uncle face changed, pointing at the little girl, said: "You, you, you, you let people how to go home?"
Twenty. My wife and I from elementary school to university are classmates, her history class learns exceptionally well, can clearly remember when what events happened, every test she scored full marks, we are married these 10 years, she put this specialty to play, whenever she criticized and scolded me, will not fall one thing to turn over from elementary school to the present every thing I do wrong.
Twenty-one. The other day and my husband shopping, passing by a fashion store, see inside the clothes are really good, suddenly have the desire to buy. I said to my husband: "This clothes are really beautiful, we go in to shop." Husband: "What shopping, this kind of store inside the clothes are super expensive, you bring money no?" I looked at my wallet not much money, said: "No." Hubby: "Then go, go in and shop."
22. A young couple, the husband said: "Honey, after I go out to work, you have to say goodbye to my husband, come home from work you have to say my concubine kowtowed to my husband, I wish my husband all the blessings of the golden peace!" The wife was disdainful and said, "You think you're beautiful, every day I kneel down to give you peace, then how are you going to repay me?" Hubby frowned and thought for half a day, then said in a serious manner, "I promise to turn over only you in the future."
23. There's a pretty young lady who runs an animal clinic in her neighborhood. A brother and I couldn't help but walk over: Excuse me, is this for specializing in animals? She smiled and replied: well, yes! So my buddy laid down directly on the bed: check me out then, I'm a programmer! I followed suit and laid down next to him: please check me out too, I'm a single dog!
Twenty-four. My wife cooked lamb for me to watch the fire, she went to do her hair. Later, my sister-in-law came to the door, non-me to take her to play the game, playing and smelling a paste, running to turn off the fire was too late. I said anxiously: "Your sister cook this pounding for a long time, back to the surely angry, we do?" My sister-in-law said, "What do we do, I have not even come." Then walked away.