Principal: "Ladies and gentlemen!"
English teacher: "ladies and gentlemen!"
Principal: "Ladies and gentlemen!"
English teacher -_-! After thinking about it, she said, "Good morning!"
Principal: "Good morning!"
English teacher: ...... == "Khan
2 said there is a polar bear, because the snow is too blinding, you must wear sunglasses to see things, but he could not find the sunglasses, so he closed his eyes and crawled around the ground to look for them, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawling, crawl on his hands and feet are dirty! He found the sunglasses. Put on the sunglasses, a look in the mirror, which realized: Oh, so I am a panda
3 a polar bear stayed alone on the ice, really bored, began to pull their own hair to play, one, two, three, and finally pulled one of the remaining, and then he died of cold.
4Once upon a time there was a bird who passed by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield and all the corn turned to popcorn!!!! After the little bird flew past ...... thinking it was snowing, he died of cold.
5 Xiaoming new hair, the next day came to school, his classmates saw his new hairstyle, laughed: Xiaoming, your head shape seems like a kite oh! Xiao Ming felt so aggrieved that he ran outside and cried, and as he cried, he flew.
6The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it, the spider asked: why? This is why! Butterfly said: my mom said, all day in the network are not good people．
7 summer hot day, two bananas walking on the road. Walking in front of the banana suddenly feel so hot, he said, so hot oh, I want to take off the clothes. As a result he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind him fell down. Then the banana that had taken off his clothes became a dried banana.
8One day, the three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope", which was said to be full of things they wanted if they just stood at the edge of the valley and shouted out what they wanted in their hearts, and then jumped down into the valley. So the three of them decided to give it a try.
The first one was a lecher, so he shouted "Woman! Woman!" He jumped down and there was a pit full of beautiful women waiting for him
The second was a nerd, and shouted, "Book book book book book!" Then, he jumped into the valley and also got a pit full of books
The third one is an indecisive person, thinking left and right, always can't decide on his favorite, after an hour, he finally made up his mind, and felt that the banknotes were the most useful, so he walked towards the valley side and accidentally kicked a stone, and he cursed "shit!
9Xiao Ming it, on tomorrow's exam nest, but the night is watching TV
Xiao Ming's mother was worried and asked: books are finished? Tomorrow is the exam ah
Xiaoming quickly replied: Mom, I finished.
Xiaoming's mother praised him happily, saying: "Good boy, you'll do well in the exam tomorrow."
Xiaoming cried and said: "Mom, I mean, 'Mom, I'm finished.
10The panda was y in love with the deer and was rejected when he expressed his love. The panda yells ~ Why? What is all this for? Fawn said timidly: My mom said, those who wear sunglasses are delinquents
11One day Xiao Ming was walking on the road! As he walked he suddenly felt his feet were sore! Why is that? Because Xiao Ming stepped on a lemon!
12Which of the Chinese characters is the coolest? Thong (cool)
The word for "scarf" says to the word for "coin": "Son. If you wear a doctor's hat, you'll be worth a hundred times as much.
"Ruler" said to "exhaustion": sister, the results came out. You are pregnant with twins.
The "minister" said to the "giant": the same area as you. But I have three rooms and two bathrooms.
13One day, a college teacher asked a student how many birds were left in a tree when he shot one of them?
The student asked back: is it a silent pistol? Not how loud is the gun?80-100 decibels. Is it illegal to shoot birds in this town? No. Are you sure the bird was actually killed? Yes, I'm sure. By this time, the teacher was getting impatient: ", just tell me how many birds are left, OK. Are there any deaf birds in the tree? No. Are there any caged birds hanging in the tree? No. Are there any other trees on the side of the tree, and are there any other birds on the tree? No. If a bird is pregnant, does that count as a baby in the belly? No. Did the bird hunter's eyes glaze over? No flowers, just ten. The teacher is already sweating and the bell is ringing, but the students continue to ask: Are there any birds that are so stupid that they are not afraid to die? All of them are afraid of death. Will you kill two birds with one shot? No. The student said confidently: "If your answer is not a lie," killed the bird if it hangs in the tree and does not fall, then there is one left, if it falls, there is no one left. The teacher immediately fell to the ground foaming at the mouth!
14One day, someone passed by the intersection, found a super scary thing, he found Kakashi and the Monkey King actually laughing!
15 Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there were three shrimp in a pond one night, and hahaha, a female ghost farted to death.
16 A female alien who was engaged in biological research came to Earth, and after going around, she felt that there was a lot to learn from human genes, so she captured a man and wanted to bring him back together with text information about human genes. But the ship is too small to take him with her, and the data is too large to be carried all at once. Anxious, the ship's computer help system said: "This man has a small stick on him that can solve all your problems ......" At this point she realized, smiling and drooling on the man said: "。。。。。 Give me the flash drive!" .
17 There is a trap is crossing the road, the result is accidentally deflated by the truck, he was dying when he looked at his own body, he said, "It turns out that I'm a bean paste filling, not meat filling"
18 Big brother, you do not in touch! You touched the top and touched the bottom, the hairs are letting you touch off, so tender skin, were you touching the water! I don't know how I'm going to be able to sell them in the future. This peach is fresh, you don't buy it, forget it!
19Once upon a time, there was a little sheep, one day he went out to play, and ran into the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf said: I'm going to eat you! The little lamb was shocked! Guess what happened? The big bad wolf ate the lamb.
20Once upon a time, there was a swordsman who was very cold, and his heart was very cold, and his sword was very cold, and he died of cold
21Once upon a time, there was a tiger chasing a deer on the road! The deer was so frightened that it ran faster and faster, and finally it became a highway
22There was a tomato that was tossed by a stone and barfed and broke, and another tomato barfed and broke, and another tomato barfed and broke, and another tomato barfed and broke, and countless tomatoes barfed and broke and the last tomato fell ah-ta-yeah! Yay for tomato sauce!
23Soldier asked the company commander: what should I do if I step on a mine in combat? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Damn, what can be done? I'll pay for it if I step on it.
24One day, the three little pigs built three huts to hide from the big bad wolf. The Big Bad Wolf had no trouble blowing up the grass hut, the wooden hut, and the brick hut, and the three little pigs ran as hard as they could, but they were still being chased by the Big Bad Wolf. The three little pigs said in despair, "You do as you please. We give up, as you how. At this time, the big bad wolf smiled wickedly, leaving saliva, said: then quickly tell me where the little red hat?
25 Elephant defecated in the middle of the road, an ant just passing by, it looked up at the cloudy summit, can not help but sing: yalasuo, this is the Tibetan plateau! ~~~~
26When you're tuba by the railroad but don't have any paper, don't worry, the train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! When you're tuba by the river but don't have paper, don't worry, the frogs will tell you: stick-scrape, stick-scrape, stick-scrape!
27There are two counterfeiting bills accidentally made face value of 15 yuan of fake bills, the two decided to take to the remote mountainous areas to spend, when they took a 15 yuan to buy a 1 yuan sugar gourd good, they cried, the farmer found them two 7 yuan.
28Someone newly installed phone just happens to be the cinema retired, so often people call to ask about the screening of the film, at first, he was always good words to explain that this phone is no longer the cinema, is now already his, please do not call again, the days a long time, he also felt good annoyance, and so received this type of phone call on the brief, "You're hitting the wrong one! " This also saves some breath. One day a familiar voice came from the other side: "May I ask what movie is now in theaters?" As usual, he said, "You have the wrong number!" After a moment of silence, the other party replied, "Is it a domestic or foreign movie?
29One person climbed the wall out of the school, was caught by the principal, the principal asked: why not go through the school gate? Answer: Metersbonwe, do not go out of the way. The principal also asked: how to go over such a high wall ah? He pointed to his pants and said: Li Ning, anything is possible.
The principal asked again: what does it feel like to go over the wall? He pointed to his shoes and said: TB, the feeling of flying. On the 2nd day he entered the school from the main entrance, the principal asked: how not over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like. On the 3rd day he wore mixed clothes, the principal said: can not wear mixed clothes! He said: Wear what you want, Samma Clothing. Day 4 he wore an undershirt to school, and the principal said, No undershirts to school. He said, man, simple is good, love Stirrup Castle clothing. The principal says, "I'm going to have to give you a hard time. He said, "Why? The principal said, the dynamic zone, my place I make the decision.
30 life is really no fun, last month one of my buddies borrowed 4,000 dollars from me, said to go to do a plastic surgery, the results are now completely unaware of what he has become, Oh4000.
31NOTE TO ROBBERS: Our staff only speaks Spanish, so please be patient and bring an interpreter with you when you rob them.
32 Are you blind? You can't see a shield this big and you're throwing rocks at my head!
33 I think I should go on a diet, the last time I gave blood, I actually bled out a hundred milliliters of lard.
34Tourist: Master, may I ask if that straw house over there is a toilet? Monk: Apart from that straw house, the rest of the place is a toilet.
35 Hair goes without a trace, and dandruff stands out even more!
36The poop and the pee are good brothers, one day the poop crossed the road and got hit by a car, the pee said: I want to poop so much...
37Yesterday I signed up for a weight loss training class, and they wanted me to wear loose clothes during the training, outrageous? If there's still baggy clothes, then why did I sign up?
38 My wife and I haven't spoken in 18 months and I don't get to interrupt her.
39Thief A: Count how much money a **** robbed today? Thief B: No, just read the paper tomorrow.
40Stand taller, piss farther
41Go your own way, let others take a taxi.
42Wear other people's shoes, go your own way, let them find it.
43Late one night, a young woman was walking past a mental hospital when suddenly there was a "wow" from behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man coming after her. The woman was so scared that she ran, but the man behind her was in hot pursuit. Not good, the front is a dead end, the woman all thoughts, kneeling on the ground, crying and begging: "You are willing to do what you want to do, just please do not kill me." The man smiled wryly and said: "Really? Then now you start chasing me."
44 a cultural evening, the host on stage to report: the following please enjoy: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! The whole audience is silent, creepy!!!! Chill~~~
45The tiger does not send a cat, you think I am sick ah!
46One of us in the dormitory drank too much to go pee and then brought out a cold saying: urine drink too much, the wine is special.
47 and my sister went to Li-Ning to buy shoes, my sister opened her mouth: "Miss, how much is a pound of this shoe?"
48 before others came to my aunt's house as a guest, just entered the door of. It just so happened that my aunt had to go to the toilet. She hurriedly greeted the guests and said, "You sit ha sit ha, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!"
49University, a classmate and I argued the issue, a moment in the wind, in the heat of the moment, a slap on the table to get up and shouted: you nonsense, I'm not not stupid! I spit in your face shit
50 childhood popsicle ice cream are generally pushing a bicycle hawking, once, in the house to hear an aunt shouted: new to the ice cream, hot. (Estimated that the aunt used to sell oil cakes and doughnuts)
51My colleague argued with someone, anxious mouth came to the sentence "You think I eat grow up?" I always wondered what he grew up eating."
52Once the KTV song, a MM shouted: give me a point a week cut stick "double Jay".
53 The big forest one day, the fox is smoking marijuana, then the little rabbit ran from a distance, saw this, came over and said: fox fox, how can you smoke marijuana, it is not good for the body, see, the air is so fresh ah, come and run with me. The fox thought it was right, so he ran with the bunny, running, they saw the elephant was smoking heroin, the bunny ran over to the elephant and said: elephant ah elephant, why are you doing drugs, see how fresh the air, run with me. The elephant thought it was a good idea, so he ran with the two of them. Running, saw the lion rolled up his sleeves, was about to inject heroin, the little rabbit far from the lion shouted: lion ah lion, drug use is not good for the body ah, see the air is so fresh, and I run with me See the lion put down the syringe rushed over to the little rabbit wildly flattened, elephants trembling to the lion said: why do you hit the little rabbit ah, he did not want us to hurt the body how good ah! The lion said: since the rabbit ate ecstasy, he asked me to run with him every day!
54In the summer, a giraffe met a rabbit, to whom she proudly showed off her neck: Ah, little rabbit, do you know how nice it is to have a long neck? Do you know how sweet and fresh those highest leaves are? Do you know how it feels to drink water in summer? As the refreshing water slowly passed through her neck, the rabbit looked at her and simply said, "Have you tried throwing up yet?"
55One time my brother beat me and hit me so hard I got a bump on my head. Then my brother had to pack something and didn't find a bag, so he took the bag on my head to hold something.
56Once upon a time there was a marshmallow who went and played ball for a long time, and he said, I'm so tired, I feel like my whole body is going limp.
57Once upon a time there were two snowmen, and one snowman said, I'm so cold, and the other said, I'm cold too, and the other said, Then let's both cuddle together, and so the two of them cuddled together. And guess what happened? Then they died of cold.
58Even when I was not honest, an old farmer in order to educate me, said to me: 60 years of suffering ah, no food, picking out the boogers never thrown
59There is a tycoon looking for servants, the interview is the topic of the toilet, the first few on the end of the first few did not wash their hands on the way out, the tycoon so they sent them away, only one washed his hands, and so the tycoon stayed with him But one day, the tycoon but found that he did not wash his hands on the toilet, and then he washed his hands. But one day, the rich man realized that he had come out without washing his hands, and the rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought hand towels with me today."
60A man saw a store having a big sale and went in. "What are you buying?" "I'd like to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove you have a dog." "Where is there such a rule?" "That's the way it is with reduced-price items." The man rubbed shoulders with the salesman for half a day, but the salesman still didn't agree to sell it to him There was no way out, so the man had to go home and bring his dog with him before he could buy the dog food. After a few days, the man went to the store again to buy cat food "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove you have cats." The same saleswoman was there, and the man dawdled with her for half a day, but he had to go home and bring his cat before he could buy the cat food. A few days later, the man came to the store holding a large cardboard box with a hole in it, and approached the saleswoman, "What can I get for you?" "You'll know if you stick your hand in." The salesman stuck his hand in, "What is it, sticky." "I'd like to buy two rolls of hand towels."
61A man went to take a friend to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friend started eating the peanuts that were sitting on the coffee table, and finished them all When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts," to which she responded "Wow! Uh-huh! LOL! Ever since I lost all my teeth, all I can do is suck off the outer layer of chocolate. Getting old, ahem.
62Some people love the dish "Spicy Vermicelli Casserole". Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" he asked, disappointed. "Sir, it's really sold out. You see, the last portion was sold to the gentleman at that table." The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's pointing and saw a very decent gentleman sitting at the neighboring table. The gentleman had already eaten almost all of his meal, but the "Spicy Vermicelli Casserole" was still full. The man felt that the gentleman was wasting his food, so he walked up to the gentleman, pointed to the "Spicy Vermicelli Casserole" and asked politely, "Sir, do you want more?" The gentleman shook his head in a dignified manner. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and gobbled it up. The wind rolled up, a moment half of the stomach, suddenly he realized that in the bottom of the casserole lying a very small, very small, but the fur has grown full of mice. With a wave of nausea, the man spat all the vermicelli he had eaten back into the casserole. When he turned his stomach there, the gentleman looked at him with a very sympathetic eye and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it? Just now I did the same thing ......"
63This day, the hotel owner was making his rounds in the lobby. Came a beggar went up and said, "Boss give a toothpick okay?" The boss gave him one and sent him away. A moment later, another beggar also came to ask for toothpicks. Boss thought now this beggar how do not want to rice to change the toothpick? Also give him the same one sent away, did not pass much old, and came to a beggar. The boss said to him, "you are also to ask for toothpicks?" The beggar said: "there is a person vomited, but I was a step late, has been in front of the two beggars to eat all the food, now only the soup is left. Can you give me a straw?
64 The oldest, the oldest two take an airplane, the oldest airsickness, non-stop vomiting. A bag full of vomit, the boss had to go to fetch the bag, and when he came back, he found that the whole plane people are constantly vomiting. When he came back, he found that all the people on the plane were vomiting. The boss asked him why, and he said, "I saw that this bag was full, so I had to drink half of it, and then they all vomited."
65A priest was playing golf and a nun was watching. The first shot was off and the priest cursed, "Damn, it's off!" Another shot, and the priest curses again, "Damn, missed again!" The nun said, "God will punish you for swearing as a priest." As soon as the words left his mouth, a thunderbolt struck the nun dead. The priest wondered: why was I the one who cursed and why did it strike the nun dead? At this time only heard God's voice from the sky: "Damn, I missed too!"
66 China, Japan and South Korea soccer team head coaches came to heaven together and asked God when their respective soccer teams would win the World Cup, and God said: South Korea needs 50 years. The Korean coach cried out: I am not going to see it. God also said: Japan needs 100 years. The Japanese coach cried out: I won't be able to see it. The Chinese coach quickly asked: What about us? God cried out: I am not going to see it.
67Three white rabbits picked a mushroom
The two big ones let the small ones go to get some wild vegetables to eat together
The small ones said I don't want to go, I'm going, and you'll eat my mushrooms
The two big ones said they wouldn't, don't worry about it and went to eat, so the little rabbits went to eat it
Six months have passed and the rabbits are not back, and one of the big ones said that they won't come back, and they will eat it. The other one said, "Wait a little longer. The other big one said wait a little longer ~ ~ ~ ~ a year has passed, the white rabbit has not come back, the two big discussion do not have to wait, we eat it. Just then, the little white rabbit jumps out of the jungle next to them and gets angry and says, "Look, I knew you were going to eat me. I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms
68We call a bear without a tail a tailless bear, but what do we call a bear without a penis? The answer is a female bear, because female bears don't have dicks in the first place.
69In music class, the teacher played a piece by Beethoven
Small Ming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"
Siao Hua: "Yes"
Siao Ming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?"
Siao Hua: "The piano."
70Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid.
The squid begged him, "Let me go, don't roast me for dinner.
The man said, "Okay, then let me ask you a few questions.
The squid was happy and said, "Go ahead, take the test!
Then the man grilled the squid
71Small Ming lost his leg in a car accident,
Small Ming lost his leg in a car accident
Small Ming lost his leg in a car accident
Small Ming lost his leg in a car accident
It was in pain and it was screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming.
In fact, Ming was a dog
72One day, a black poop saw a white poop,
and the black poop asked, "Why are you so white and pretty?
The white poop was very angry when he heard this!
He said, I'm not a poop! I'm ice cream!!!!
73On one occasion when we were playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so we had to buy candles to continue the fight. After half an hour, it was too hot to bear, one person said: "Better turn on the electric fan, hot." Another person interface: "can not open, open will blow out the candle. Halo == "
74 University period, a student of mine just bought a cell phone, do the mobile card, call 1860 artificial desk inquiries, a moment of excitement: "May I ask your ground moving band business ......" from the speakerphone We actually heard the operator lady politely said: "Our ground moving band business ......" the whole dormitory burst into laughter!
75One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountains to pick fruit,
He announced: "Children, after picking the fruit, we united together to wash, wash can be eaten together."
All the children ran off to pick fruit.
When it was time to gather, all the children gathered.
The teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"
Small Hua: "I'm washing apples because I picked apples."
Teacher:
"What about you, Xiaomei?"
Siu Mei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked them."
Teacher: "The children are great! What about you, Ah Ming?"
Ming: "I'm washing my shoes because I stepped in poop."
76 A mentally ill man screamed, "I'm the president and you all have to listen to me!
The attending physician asked him: who said that?
The patient: God said so.
Hearing this, a patient next to him suddenly jumped up: I never said that!
77There was a family that was very lazy. Dad told mom to do the housework, mom didn't want to do it, so she told her sister to do it, and she didn't want to do it, so she told her sister to do it, but her sister didn't want to do it either, so she told her dog to do it. One day a guest came to the house, and he found that the dog was doing the housework, and he was very surprised. Asked the dog said: dog, you will do housework ah? Puppy said: no way, they do not do, are called me to do ah. The guest is even more surprised, you can talk!!!! Puppy: Shh! Keep your voice down or they will know I can talk and ask me to answer the phone again!!!!
78Lele went to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys...and threw peanuts to the monkeys to eat...but one of the monkeys would shove the peanuts up his butt first...and then take them out to eat them...Lele felt disgusted so he went to ask the director of the park. ...why that monkey had such a strange behavior... The director explained that last year, a person threw a big peach to him and he couldn't get the peanut out of his buttocks... He was so hurt... So now, he must shove the food into his buttocks to make sure that it can be eaten.
79 Devil King: "Princess, no one will come to save you if you scream your throat out!"
Princess: "Break your throat!"
Nobody: "Princess! I'm coming to save you!"
Demon King: "Hell no."
Ghost: "Who found me?"
Who: "What's it to me?"
The Demon King is dead!
80Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat, and one day, the white cat fell into the water , and the black cat saved it, and the white cat said something to the black cat
Please tell me what this phrase is? A: Meow
81The white rabbit hopped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many"
"That's so..." The white rabbit hung his head and walked away.
The next day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "I'm sorry, I don't think so."
"That's right." The white rabbit went away again, downcast.
On the third day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
The owner said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!"
The white rabbit pulled out his money, "Great, I'll take two!"
82 Fire Department: where's the fire?
Alarmist: my house.
Fire Brigade: I'm asking where?
Alarmist: in the kitchen.
FIRE DEPARTMENT: I mean how do we get there?
Alarmist: don't you have a fire truck?
83The coffee cup and the water cup crossed the street together, and at this time, a grandfather shouted, "Be careful, it's a red light now." But after a while, the coffee cup successfully crossed the street, but the water cup was hit by a truck and the water flowed into the injection, may I ask why? Because coffee cups have ears and water cups do not.
84Two tomatoes went shopping, the first tomato suddenly walked very fast, the second tomato asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato didn't answer and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato still didn't answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turns his head slowly and says, "Aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk?
85Small Ming and his classmates played heart to heart guessing "Andy Lau."
Small Ming shouted loudly, "It's one of the Four Heavenly Kings!"
A classmate said confidently without hesitation: I know it's "The Monkey King!"
86The little penguin asked his grandmother one day, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin then asked his dad, "Daddy daddy, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong?" "But, but why do I feel so cold?"
87 Three college students were kidnapped. The bad guys tied him to a pole and asked him: say, where are you from? If you don't say, you'll be electrocuted! College student A: I'm from Jiaotong University, college student B: I'm from Peking University, and college student C: I'm from the Electricity University (Power University)! The result was electrocuted cold~~~
88 Once upon a time there was a horse, into a bar, sat down at the bar to find the barman to ask for a drink, the waiter said: your face is so long ah ......
89 prisoners were executed by firing squad, due to the poor quality of bullets, the first shot did not ring, and then fired a second shot. The third shot. At this point the prisoner cried, hugged the bailiff's thighs and said: big brother you strangled me! Too fucking scary
90Three people, in a competition of marksmanship, by a black man on top of something as a target.
The first guy puts an apple on the black guy's head and then, from a distance of 10 meters, raises his hand and smashes the apple with a single shot, he blows the muzzle of the gun and says: I'm Zorro!
The second man put a cherry on the black man's head, then at a distance of 50 meters, raised his hand and with a single shot broke the cherry, he blew out his muzzle and said, I'm007
The third man put a sesame seed on the black man's head, then at a distance of 100 meters, raised his hand and with a single shot broke the black man's head, he also blew out his muzzle and said, I' m sorry
The third man put an apple on the black man's head, then at a distance of 100 meters, raised his hand and with a single shot broke the black man's head, he also blew out his muzzle and said, I' m sorry
91 Xiao Wang worked in the personnel department on the 10th floor, a month ago, was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor to go Today, Xiao Wang's classmates phone to the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang in?"
The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in personnel."
Small Wang students: "ah ah! , when was it ah, how do I not know ah, have not had time to send him?"
" It's okay, you can go down there to find him"
92 Wife spent a huge amount of money to do plastic surgery, a few days later turned into a beautiful woman to go home! When she entered, she said to her husband, who looked puzzled, "What? Don't recognize me?" The husband froze for a moment, then said in surprise, "Come on in, my wife is not at home."
93 A woman walking at night, suddenly saw a man walking toward her with open arms, do embrace, go forward is a foot man fell to the ground and cried, said: are the third piece, who am I inviting who, bring a piece of glass home is so difficult?
94 This afternoon and a group of female coworkers chat, suddenly someone said I'm not a man , I'm on fire, I said, you say I'm not, I pulled out to show you , the girls laughed, one of the most cattle, said, you pull out ah I pulled out my ID card.
95A young boy went to the countryside to spend the holidays with his relatives. His relatives lived on a farm, and the boy played and saw things he had never seen before. When he returned home, he told his mother everything. He said that the one thing that impressed him was a sow with her piglets.
What did the sow do? The child said, "The piglets chased the sow then they turned her over and started ripping the buttons off her belly."
96Mom: "Son, son! Come on! 'It is too easy!' What is it?"
Son: "'It is too easy'."
Mom: "Easy or not?"
Son: "Ah just 'it's too simple' yeah!"
Mom: "You don't think I'm going to hit you do you?"
After the words, she taught her son a lesson.
Then the mom asked,
"What is the meaning of the word 'what'?"
Son: "'What'."
Mom: "I said, 'what' means?"
Son: "'What'!"
After that, the mom taught her son another lesson ......
After the punishment, the mom asked again:
"OK, ask you again, and be good enough to tell mom that it's OK."
Son: "Uhm U_U~."
Mom: "What do you often hear people say 'fuck' for?"
Son: "(Woo)"
97Ronin says, "People call me a ronin, it's nice!"
The samurai said, "People call me the martial artist, and that's nice too!"
The Master said, "People call me the High Man, and that's nice too!"
The swordsman said: "You guys talk, I'll go first
98The students of Teachers College said: I'm from "Teachers College"
The students of Railway College said: I'm from "Railway College"
The students of Vocational College said: I'm from "Railway College"
The students of Vocational College said: I'm from "Railway College". p>
The student from the vocational college said: I'm from the "vocational college"
The student from the technical college said: you guys talk, I'll go first!
99 White Jade says: My name is White Jade.
The turquoise jade says: My name is Jasper.
The red jade says: My name is Red Jade.
The apricot-colored Jade says: You guys talk, I'll go first
100 Zhang Liangying says: "Fans who worship me say: my idol is called Ying"
He Jie says: "Fans who worship me say: my idol is called Jie"
What's more, I'm not sure if you're a big fan of Jade.
Zhou Penchang said: "My idol is called Chang"
Li Yuchun said: "You guys talk, I'm leaving first.