We initially drink mainly for social reasons, and the alcohol poured into our bodies helps us to instantly appear cheerful and sociable.
But once the effects of alcohol wear off, what remains is a greater sense of alienation, a feeling of not fitting in, and a feeling of depression. At the same time, if we feel guilty and ashamed of our drunken or drunken behavior, this complex of emotions can easily lead to a feeling of abandonment, banishment - a never-ending darkness, an unspeakable pain in the heart. So we quickly picked up our glasses again.
We also engage with people from time to time when we drink. Yet most of the conversations we considered important were almost always kept deep within ourselves, never easily exported. We were quite sure that we were never understood, and we tended not to care much if we were understood by anyone else.
Years of living with alcoholism have made us suspicious, distrustful, and self-centered. We habitually act parochial, stubborn, and aloof, as if we have always been withdrawn and difficult to get along with.
When we begin to have the opportunity to develop normal interpersonal relationships with others, and even to accept their friendships, the burden of years of fear is often lifted. The burden of years of fear often holds us back, and so we begin to feel lonely and depressed. Stale thinking from the past can easily encourage us to take that first drink again.
How dangerous it is to face the challenge of a drinking problem alone, even if we have great determination and desire, there is hardly any example of how we can overcome alcohol by our own personal strength alone. Thoughts of wanting to drink tend to sneak up and sneak into the mind when we are alone. When we feel lonely and empty, the urge to drink always seems to beat us faster and stronger.
But now that we can set sail with other like-minded friends, our journey to recovery will be safer, more meaningful and more secure. So we are no longer shy about asking for help, it is not a sign of weakness to accept help in recovery, and it is extremely rewarding to work with others **** and together because we all need to help each other.
Of course we all need some time alone to organize our thoughts, to reflect on ourselves, or to take care of some personal matters, to release the stresses of everyday life. But it's dangerous to overindulge in a state of isolation. Especially if we are becoming withdrawn, depressed, or feeling sorry for ourselves, it is better to have friends than to be alone.
For these reasons, our advice to new drinkers is to "avoid getting too lonely".
If you can pause for a moment to talk to someone or go online as soon as the thought of drinking crosses your mind, you can at least begin to move away from the dangers of isolation.
2. Stay away from the first drink
"If you don't have the first drink, you won't get drunk." "One glass is too much, but twenty is not enough."
As we progress from drinking more in general to alcoholism, regular drunkenness seriously interferes with life and work, so we cut back on our drinking, or try to limit it to one or two drinks, or switch from heightened alcohol to beer or wine, so that we don't get too drunk. Maybe we can keep it down for a while, and then when the opportunity arises (some special celebration, personal confusion, or nothing special at all), we start drinking again, and at first we think it's only one drink, and since one drink didn't lead to anything serious, we think it's safe to have another one. But that turns out to be a trap - when we have two or three drinks, we feel good, and then we think that with the amount of alcohol we have another drink or two won't be a problem. As it turned out, we couldn't control how much we drank and went back to our original royally drunken state.
Doctors who specialize in alcohol dependence tell us -- it's that first drink that triggers the underlying desire to drink, which then sends us spiraling out of control. This repetitive experience leads us to conclude that trying to control our drinking and plan how not to get drunk is impossible, and that avoiding that one crucial drink -- "never take the first one" -- is what keeps us sober in the long run.
Alcohol dependence is a type of addictive behavior to alcohol. Alcohol is a soft drug like any other addictive substance, and we can only stay in recovery if we stay away from the first dose of the narcotic that led to our addiction.
3. Use the "24-hour" program
During the days of alcoholism, we often make very serious vows at very difficult times, "Never again. I vow to go a year without drinking." In our heart of hearts, we really don't want to get drunk again. Of course, some people have reservations: they say that this vow is only for "spirits" and not for beer. In fact, beer and wine can get us drunk, but we need to drink more to achieve the same effect as liquor. We can get just as drunk on beer and wine as we can on liquor.
After a while, however, the vows and the painful memories are put behind us. At some point we start drinking again. Our "forever" never lasts.
Of course some of us do keep our promises for a long time, 2 months, 6 months, or a year, until the time comes when we feel we should be able to drink freely and in a controlled manner ...... We go back to drinking, and soon fall back into our old troubles, with new guilt and remorse.
Alcohol dependence is a permanent, irreversible disease, and experience for all of us tells us not to make long-term vows about staying sober. A more practical and effective statement would be, "I'm just not drinking today."
Maybe we drank yesterday, but can decide not to drink today. No matter what temptation or anger we encounter, we do everything I can to try to avoid having our first drink today.
If the desire to drink is too strong, then break the 24 hours into smaller units - at least one hour - and we can tolerate the discomfort caused by this temporary cessation of drinking, then one more hour! One more hour! And on and on again. We succeeded today, and we have reason to believe we can do the same tomorrow.
The "24-hour" program is very casual. We can start over at any time, no matter where we are. At home, at work, in a hospital room, at 4:00 p.m. or 3:00 a.m., we can decide at any time not to drink for the next 24 hours or five minutes.
We just try to have a good day (right now) just to stay sober - and it does work. Once this way of thinking became part of our thinking, we found that living in 24-hour phases was just as effective and satisfying for dealing with some other things.
4. Take Action
The more we try to stay away from alcohol, the more the thought of drinking lingers. So simply staying away from alcohol (or not thinking about it) is not enough.
Once you've stopped drinking, what do you do with all that free time? Most of us have regular jobs to do, but there is still a lot of free time that must be spent. So we have to take up new hobbies and organize varied activities to fill that time, as well as find a proper outlet for the energy that was once spent indulging in alcohol.
There are many things we can do that are appropriate and meaningful to us.
1. In the early stages of sobriety, take a walk or go for a brisk walk. Especially to new places you've never been. Go for a leisurely stroll through a park or country lane, but not an exhausting brisk walk.
2. Read. Although some of us can't settle down to read, we really should read books to broaden our horizons, add to our life experience, and focus our attention.
3. Go to a museum or gallery, and some of us choose photography as well.
4. Swimming, running, biking, yoga, or any other exercise recommended by your doctor.
5. Take care of long-neglected household chores. Organize the closet, the dresser, sort and file papers, or take care of things we've been putting off for a long time. But when we do these things, don't overdo it, do what you can. Instead of cleaning out the entire kitchen or organizing all the papers at once, clean out one drawer or folder at a time and do the rest another day.
6. Try a new hobby. Choose activities that are not too expensive or demanding, that are purely recreational, and that are refreshing and invigorating without the pressure of competition. For example, singing, writing, tropical fish, carpentry, basketball, cooking, bird watching, amateur shows, wood carving, gardening, guitar, movies, dancing, stone carving, potting, collecting, etc.. Many people find that the activities they really enjoy now are surprisingly hobbies they never considered trying in the past.
7. Recapture the joys of the past. A watercolor you haven't touched up in years, pool or chess, reading journal entries, etc., continue these hobbies. But if it no longer suits you, just give it up.
8. Take a class. Studying Japanese or English? Love history or math? Want to learn about archaeology or anthropology? Or cooking or computer operation, then go to a correspondence course, TV university or adult education (just for interest, not necessarily a certificate of credit). There are also many places where you can take classes as little as one day a week, so why not give it a try? Taking classes not only broadens your horizons, but also broadens your life. In case you get bored with the content of the class, don't hesitate to quit. By learning to give up on activities that are not beneficial to us or that do not have a positive, positive, or healthy meaning, we will be able to find the courage to face it again, and we will have the opportunity to see new dimensions of our lives outside of drinking.
9. Volunteer for useful services. Many hospitals, children's services, and social welfare organizations are in great need of volunteers. There are many choices available to us, and when we can contribute to others, even if it is only a small service, we will feel very useful, and even when we talk about the process of participating in these activities and its related information, we will feel very interested and engaged.
10. Dress up. Most of us know many ways in which a new haircut, new clothes, new glasses, or even new teeth can have unexpected and pleasing results.
11. Relax and play! Not everything we do in our daily lives necessarily has to be aggressive and new. We also need to do activities that are purely for pleasure, such as your favorite kite flying, the zoo, comedy movies, soul music, detective novels, etc.; and if you don't like any of them, find something else that's fun and has nothing to do with drinking, and do it purely for the sake of treating yourself.
5. Changing old habits
In our drinking habits, there are fixed times, familiar places, and customary activities. Especially when we are tired, hungry, lonely, angry, or especially happy, these seemingly normal, recurring scenarios are dangerous traps for our sober lives.
When we first begin to stop drinking, it is helpful to look back at our past drinking habits to find ways to overcome our addiction. The place we often used to buy alcohol may have been one of the supermarkets we passed on our way to work, and each of us always had our favorite drinking spots. Whether it's a fun drink with friends or a habitual tipple at a regular time of day, we can look at the trajectory of our past drinking habits to find out when and what days we are used to drinking.
We can tweak all the details of our lives that have everything to do with the drinking problem.
How can we tell if the people around us in our daily lives are dependent on alcohol? (Medical version of 14 articles) We summarize some common manifestations regarding the drinking pattern: 1. Considering drinking as the most important or very important thing in life, occupying a central place in the mind, and not forgetting it. 2. The amount of alcohol consumed increases gradually from the initial drinking period. 3. Drinking at a faster rate. 4. Often drink alone or secretly behind family members' backs. 5. Using alcohol as medicine to relieve emotional distress. 6. Have the behavior of hiding alcohol. 7. Often have forgetfulness after drinking. 8. Drinking alcohol without a plan, often with the phenomenon of drunkenness. 9. Drinking in the morning, commonly known as "open-eye drinking", and some people even drink after waking up at night. 10. Drinking before going to bed. 11. Drinking on an empty stomach, skipping the main meal and eating few vegetables. 12. Choose the brand of wine when the situation permits. 13. Argues with family members over alcohol consumption, which affects family harmony, or affects work because of alcohol consumption. 14. Once quit drinking, but the old disease returns within a short period of time and cannot be controlled. Generally speaking, if a person's drinking behavior shows more than 3 of the above manifestations, alcohol dependence is highly suspected. It is common to see that some alcohol-dependent people have a lot of adverse effects on their health, family harmony and work because of alcohol consumption, and even some illegal behaviors after drinking. Despite their guilt and regret for causing these consequences, they are still unable to completely stop drinking, and they repeatedly quit drinking and drink again and again. Is it because they have no talent or perseverance? Neither. This is because alcohol dependence is a disease, and a worsening one at that. This disease, like diabetes, high blood pressure and other diseases, cannot be completely eradicated. But it can be contained. The reasons for relapse are related to the body's sensitivity to alcohol, coupled with a psychologically compulsive desire to drink that is difficult to get rid of, and which cannot be overcome by one's own perseverance alone, regardless of the negative consequences of relapse. Just like any other disease, there will be some characteristic clinical manifestations. Once dependence on alcohol is formed, many physical symptoms will occur when drinking suddenly stops or suddenly reduces the amount of alcohol consumed, which is called alcohol withdrawal syndrome. For convenience, some people classify alcohol withdrawal syndrome into three stages according to the time of appearance and severity: Phase I alcohol withdrawal syndrome: it usually appears 6 to 12 hours after drinking, manifested by tremor of both hands, and in severe cases, it can accumulate the whole upper limbs bilaterally, or even the torso, and in severe cases, it can also appear as tremor of the tongue, in addition to the common symptoms of anorexia, insomnia, and irritability, and so on. The second stage of alcohol withdrawal syndrome: the appearance of time for 24 to 72 hours after the withdrawal of alcohol, in addition to the above symptoms, there are often hallucinations, the content is often abusive or persecutory, can be followed by impulsive behavior, excitement is relatively mild. The third stage of alcohol withdrawal syndrome: delirium tremens, often occurring 72 hours after the last drink, at this time the patient is not conscious, tremors are obvious and accompanied by unsteady walking, there can be a variety of vivid hallucinations, such as seeing all kinds of small animals, the patient manifests nervousness, anxiety, fear. The patient's memory is significantly impaired, and some patients may experience epileptic-like convulsions. Even in developed countries, once the occurrence of delirium tremens, the total mortality rate of the treated can still reach 10% to 15%, and the untreated is even higher. This is why long-term drinkers should not stop drinking suddenly. If alcohol dependence is highly suspected, it should be treated in a specialized hospital as soon as possible. Alcohol-dependent people can not control their own drinking behavior, nor can they control the amount of alcohol they drink, so can they drink normally after quitting for a period of time? As far as we know, no one has ever been able to drink "normally" or only socially after months or years of abstinence. Once a person has progressed from heavy drinking to uncontrolled and reckless binge drinking, it is impossible to go back. No one with alcohol dependence drinks on purpose to get into trouble, but uncontrollable drinking is bound to get into trouble. Many alcohol-dependent people think they have no problem drinking a few cans of beer or glasses of light wine after a period of abstinence. Not many people get drunk after one or two beers. So too, they mistakenly believe that they can manage to stop drinking after only two or three beers a day. They do occasionally manage to do so for a few days or weeks. They conclude that they can "get by" even with drinking. However, they will drink more and more beer or wine each time, and it won't be long before they're drinking like they used to. Another misconception is to replace high alcohol with low alcohol. For alcohol-dependent people, alcohol is alcohol, and it doesn't matter if it contains alcohol in the form of martinis, whiskey and soda, champagne, or a small glass of beer; for them, no matter what kind of drink they have, it will lead to overdrinking and lead to relapse. Therefore, it is dangerous for alcohol-dependent people to try to control the amount of alcohol they drink after a period of abstinence, or to drink only at lower strengths. However, in order to ensure complete abstinence from alcohol, the only way is to abstain from alcohol. How can this be done? In addition to completing detoxification treatment under the guidance of a doctor, there is also long-term rehabilitation treatment, which includes treatment for related psychological or mental illnesses, anti-drinking medication, psychotherapy, and membership in a number of self-help rehabilitation organizations. As long as there is a desire to quit drinking and relentless efforts, it will be successful.