After 40 years, when you send off your parents and return home, facing empty walls, only a room full of memories of the past, how will you face the bewilderment and emptiness that comes to you alone?
When I think of such a question, I feel like the back of my head, "whoosh" rise up a chill.
A netizen said, I lost both parents at the age of 28, one person, one cat and one dog, the most afraid of the night, afraid to go home at night knocking on the door and no one to open the door, the loneliness does not seem to be all that is abandoned by the world's feeling, right?
If this day is bound to come, then the next life, how in the end we should live, to feel less lonely and fear, relying on what to live in order to feel there is meaning?
1,
Recently, there are many aunts in their fifties around who have encountered problems that make them solid.
Sons and daughters have been reluctant to get married and have children, so they are willing to pursue a more comfortable life, not willing to be bound within the family and bear more pressure.
An aunt's son said to her, "Mom, look, you raised me to be so old, and did not see any obvious benefits, but also for me to worry about a lifetime. I've made do with Dad for the rest of my life, and there's no happiness to speak of, so what's the point of me getting married and having kids?"
Momentarily, Auntie was dumbfounded, feeling as if she had a point, and feeling as if there was something wrong with her. After years of urging her son to get married, who is already in his thirties, Auntie felt that he had his own ideas, and it was useless to say so, so she had to let him go.
There are really a lot of young people like this nowadays, and people don't want to go back to the old ways of their parents' generation, so they are willing to feed themselves and their whole family, and they don't need to grind out a life with another person in love with each other.
But there is still a hidden worry in their hearts that after their parents go away, as only children, how will we live alone in the future between heaven and earth?
A friend said, "I don't want to think about it, and I don't want to think about it. As I watch my parents grow old, I just want to spend more time with them when I have time, and I silently pray that they will live to be 100 years old.
There are also pessimists who say I can only wait to die alone, and when I can't take care of myself, I will choose suicide or euthanasia.
Sounds really sad, indeed, our parents are a barrier between us and death, and the deepest connection between us and the world, losing them, we are orphans between heaven and earth, life has no place to come, only a vast way back.
This emptiness and loneliness, through and through, gnaws at people as if the meaning of existence disappears.
2,
Is it true that you don't have to face this inevitable sadness if you get married and have children?
Maybe yes, maybe not.
Marrying and having children gives us a deep link with two or three other people, replacing the flesh and blood that will be there in the future after our parents are gone, and in a way, it can dispel a certain sense of loneliness and emptiness.
But even for couples who love each other y, there is always one who will leave first, and even the best children will inevitably have their own world, and it is not possible to keep their parents all day long.
This life eternal, inevitably face the emptiness and loneliness, is every person sooner or later have to face and get used to.
Famous philosopher Zhou Guoping said that loneliness is the destiny of human beings, which is based on the fact that each of us is a contingent existence in this world, coming from nothing and going back to nothing, and nothing and no one can change this destiny of ours. Yes, not even love.
Just as we fall in love with someone as if he is the whole world, when one day we lose him, do we lose the whole world? No, we have the world all over again.
What we must learn is that in the process of growing up and maturing, we must slowly strengthen our hearts, forge our ability to be alone, and enjoy dancing with loneliness***.
There is a netizen's statement that I agree with, he said, after my parents left, I will go to do the things that I have not had time to do because of the responsibilities I have been shouldering, to do all the things that I think are meaningful, and to make up for the many regrets that I have in the past by realizing my own unique life journey as I go along.
Because only by myself, I can, as Xu Wei sings, not "dream of walking to the end of the world with a sword to see the world's prosperity." Instead, I can really realize it, without any worries.
I could plant flowers, raise small animals, read books, scrutinize the world, find a fashionable old man to fall in love with, sing and dance.
When we think about it, when we face the fact that we are bound to be alone in the future, although we are a bit afraid, although we are occasionally empty, there are still a lot of things we can do, there are a lot of feelings worth experiencing, we don't have to worry about it, we don't have to be afraid of it, we just have to be open to it.
Einstein once said, be a solitary (lonely) person, it gives you time to marvel, to pursue truth, to enjoy divine curiosity, it makes your life worth living.
Solitude also has the completeness and richness of solitude.
Li Yinhe also once said that when a man faces the world alone materially and spiritually, pleasure and pain are all at his fingertips, pleasure when he wants to pleasure, pain when he wants to pain, and even the feeling of ecstasy is also controllable.
Even if I am the only one left in heaven and earth, I have to actively go through my life, if I wait for death alone, I am failing my hard-won journey.
If the world is always full of binary paradoxes, I will always choose the explanation that is favorable to the meaning of my life, to spend the rest of my life.
When we have lived a full and thorough life, when we have felt the world well, when we have walked through the richness and barrenness of our feelings, our life has been rich enough to have no regrets.
Then, our parents will stand at the end of time and welcome us home with satisfaction.
Don't be afraid to live seriously and live a good time.