Bitter teenager
Poverty at home has taught me how to share my worries for my family and reduce the burden of my parents' life as soon as possible. "The children of poor families have long been in charge." When I was 8 years old, my elder sister and I went to the western hillside to pick and choose the fat, send water and rice, pick soil washers, grind the flour, cut wood and go up the mountain. I did everything I could, no matter how bitter, tired and dirty. I just feel that if I don't do some work every day, it's like something is missing.
One day, my elder sister and I were pulling weeds and turning sweet potato seedlings on the western hillside. Just at noon, I was a little hungry. Sweat flowed down my back like an earthworm, hungry and hot. I don't know when, I felt black in front of my eyes and rolled down the mountain. God has eyes. I was blocked by a pier, and a shoe fell under the cliff of 10 meters. When I woke up, I was at home.
When I was 9 years old, my eldest brother and I went to a nearby mine to collect charcoal. My thin body is carrying overweight cinders, and I can go back and forth two or three times a day, which makes my body dark in the middle of winter. Sometimes it is windy and snowy, and it can't stop me from picking up cinders. From elementary school to junior high school, almost every Sunday is spent on the way to pick up cinders.
The cold wind with flying snowflakes poured straight into my neck. The branches on the roadside were covered with ice cream, and there was a harsh roar in the cold wind. Snow covered the path and left me a trail of footprints. The towering cinder pile is surrounded by thick smoke, and no one can be seen every few steps. Dump trucks carrying cinders shuttle back and forth. Before the dumper is finished, people who pick up cinders look for briquettes, cinders and wooden wedges like hungry tigers. When I looked up to evacuate, a piece of cinder weighing more than 100 kg hit the place where I picked up cinder. It's really close. If I move a little slower, the consequences will be unimaginable, and I will stay.
1 1 year-old, there were nine people in my family, old and young, all of whom depended on their father, big sister and big brother to earn work points to eat, work at sunrise and rest at sunset, and were busy for 360 days. One point is not worth a box of "bumper cigarettes", and the rations are not enough for the whole family to eat for half a year. At that time, my family was in the climbing stage of the old cow with heavy load, and it was cloudy and met with autumn drought. I saw the food in my mouth destroyed by the drought. At that time, autumn corn was planted by people carrying water, and it was very difficult to get tassels to germinate, but it seemed that "man can conquer nature" and it just didn't rain for more than two months. The old people say there is no hope for crops this season. People are looking for ways to make a living. In the evening, grandma and mom burned incense and kowtowed, praying to God to worship Buddha and open their eyes to save the people here. Although my grandmother prayed every day and my mother complained every day, God was indifferent. Every morning, she throws a fireball into the air, scattering plumes of flames. The earth is burning, the fields are burning and people's hearts are burning. Grandma is disappointed, mom is disappointed, and people are disappointed. Drought demons burn crops and people's hearts. Food prices soared, usually more than 20 cents a catty of corn rose to more than 70 cents. God, my family can't afford food. Mother is very calm. She mobilized the whole family to go up the mountain to pick the horn leaves, then cooked them in a large pot, washed them with water for three times, and then they could be eaten. Corn flour and horn leaves are mixed together to make a nest. In this way, it won't be long before cooking. Thanks to the superior leaders, I brought a lot of carrots, boiled, steamed and raw. The last meal was all carrots and we only ate sour water. At this time, my mother told us a story: before liberation, there was an unfilial daughter-in-law who gave carrots to her mother-in-law, and she and her children ate sweet potatoes. Later, when my son came home and saw his mother's face was beautiful, he asked his daughter-in-law what she had eaten for her mother. Carrot. Daughter-in-law said shyly. Husband also praised his daughter-in-law for this. It turns out that carrots are a very nutritious thing. This made us all smile bitterly.
Hard study
1973 In the spring, I entered the campus of Zibo No.2 Middle School with infinite expectation for the future. Quiet learning environment and complete teaching facilities make the children on my farm more confident to study hard. But who would have thought that the newly restored teaching order was disturbed by a "blank hero", and for a time the school was beyond recognition, and teachers and students were at a loss. Teachers can't teach and students can't learn. Even in such an environment, I never lost my desire to read this book. However, contrary to expectations, due to the atmosphere and family difficulties at that time, I was faced with dropping out of school twice.
I remember it was the night before the start of the second school year. My mother told me: "Don't go to school, that is, go home and carry hoes after graduating from high school." And it's hard at home. Tell teacher Zhang tomorrow that I can't go to school. " Looking at my mother's sad face, what can I say? When I arrived at school, I saw the head teacher, Mr. Zhang, crying like a wronged child. I told the reason off and on. Teacher Zhang said, "How can this be done? At your age, it's time to learn knowledge. I'll do your mother's work. "
On Sunday, Teacher Zhang really rode his bike and came to my house in the cold wind of early spring. After some persuasion by teacher Zhang, my mother agreed to let me go to school. At that time, I had unspeakable happiness in my heart. I finished my second year of high school this time.
However, the good times did not last long. Due to the shortage of labor in the family, the food received at the end of the year was less, and my father was seriously ill. Mother was in a hurry and didn't say anything to stop me from studying. My mother only gave in when I said yes, and promised me to go to class three days a week and work in the fields for the rest of the time to earn work points. I told Mr. Zhang about it and he made an exception and agreed. I was able to do it according to the agreed time a few weeks ago, but then I simply didn't go, and I earned more than 100 copies in three months. Teacher Zhang asked her classmates to send me messages to urge me to go to school. I won't come today, nor will I go tomorrow. Teacher Zhang was anxious and came to my house to do mother's ideological work again. So I went back to the classroom and finished my high school studies.
Now whenever I think about it, I always feel sour, and I can't tell what it tastes like. But for me, this is a fortune, which makes me realize that life is to struggle, to temper and to suffer. It's not a bad thing to suffer when you are young. "How can you see a rainbow without experiencing wind and rain?" . Opportunities are created and won, not waiting. Just like going to school, there is no shop after this village. I often use this experience to educate my children, cherish today's wonderful time and study hard. At the same time, I am also very grateful to Teacher Zhang. Without his help, I wouldn't have finished high school.
The turning point in life
1June 7, 975, I graduated from high school in a fog. I looked at my diploma and couldn't tell what I felt. 10' s cold window life is spent in depression, confusion, melancholy and hesitation. Graduation, going to the society, the crossroads of life, where to go. At that time, I often thought that my father was a worker and my son was also a worker. It is precisely because "dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and mice are born to make holes" that it is only natural for farmers' children to be farmers, facing the loess and facing the sky, and to be farmers' grandchildren all their lives. Faced with such a fixed situation, I didn't accept my fate. At that time, peasant children had two ways: to be soldiers or to go to college. At that time, the college entrance examination had not been resumed, and there was only one way before us-being a soldier.
Life coordinates are determined, and after the conscription task is issued, I will either find the secretary of the brigade or go to the commune every day to find the minister of armed forces, and I must be a soldier. After many efforts,1February 2, 976, I finally joined the army with honor and realized my long-cherished wish for many years. From then on, I really embarked on the journey of life.
After arriving in the army, intense and orderly training, strict and orderly discipline, and mutual care among comrades-in-arms, like sunshine and rain, moistened my withered heart and deeply infected me. After living in Xinbinglian for one month, I was assigned to the command class of 100mm antiaircraft gun company 3 as the direction sight (hereinafter referred to as the second survey hand). After the camping shooting every year, he was sent to the regiment teaching team for training for two months, mainly studying the organization and command, queue and military sports of the squad leader.
March 6 1977, new and old. Due to the need of work, he was transferred from the commander class to the artillery class as the monitor. Joined the party organization on May 8 of the same year. On the 25th of that month, he was sent to the teacher's teaching team for training for 4 months, mainly studying the operation and weapons of artillery.
On March 29th, 1978, as the backbone, was transferred to monitor of the No.1 artillery command class and was re-elected. Transferring from the third company to the first company has brought many difficulties to the work. The former monitor was hospitalized due to illness, and the vice monitor and I were soldiers together for one year. He thought the monitor was naturally his. After I went, he felt very meaningless. He dragged his feet and made the work in the class very passive. I was not familiar with the situation when I first arrived in this company, so I started from scratch. In June of the same year 165438+ 10, the regiment organized radar, command instrument and command platoon personnel to train at Leiyang Airport in Hunan Province, and the company commander led the team. One thing happened in training, which shattered my idea of making progress in the army.
One day, I was on duty. The company commander sounded an alarm at the command post, saying that the plane had taken off from the airport and should immediately organize relevant personnel to arrive at the position quickly, but I didn't do so. I was just about to give the order to escape when a fellow villager in Tonglian said in his hometown, "Whoever runs away is a thief." But it was very strange at that time, and I stopped running after listening to this sentence. At that time, I thought I would rather not run than earn this stigma. The company commander was in a hurry and scolded me with my name: "You bastard, run for me!" " "Now that I think about it, the company commander scolded me deafening. The company commander was as angry as an angry lion, his face flushed and his beard bristled. Seeing that posture, he wanted to eat me. Scold me in front of more than 30 people.
Now that I think about it, it's really my fault. If you are a company commander, your soldiers will not obey orders at this time, and you will do the same. Every time I think about it, I feel sorry for the company commander and feel that I was too stupid at that time. Even playing with a child's temper is an occasion, let alone in the training ground. All soldiers know that the training ground is the battlefield, and the password is the command. In addition, a fellow villager said that if you don't run, you won't run. In fact, he is fooling you. Later, I went to see him, half joking and half serious, and said I would come to you if I couldn't lift it. He said if I asked you to jump into the well, would you jump? Think about it, too. If you don't complain, you blame yourself for being too simple and stupid. Another reason is that I think I have nothing to look forward to in the army. When I joined the party, my chances of promotion were very slim. The villagers often talk about this matter together, and at the end of the year, they closed the stall and had the idea of breaking the jar. These two reasons made mistakes in those years and set obstacles for my later development. So we should look at the problem from a long-term perspective, not blindly, but from a developmental perspective. Since this incident, I have been disheartened about my own development, waiting for my own demobilization at the end of the year. Although there was such an idea at that time, although the company commander had an opinion on me, although the work in the class was not smooth. However, I am not passive and decadent. I have never given up. I have not been overwhelmed and yielded by these difficulties, but I have tried my best to do my job well.
Many things happen, and the opportunity has finally come. 1978 12 was ordered to go to the war zone immediately after shooting at Suixi shooting range in Guangdong. At the end of the same year, he entered Pingxiang, Guangxi, and his task was to guard Ningming Airport. Dig a bunker, dig a hole in a cat's ear, and make a disguise. Walls made of mud and houses made of bamboo and thatch are our houses. After getting up every day, pack the quilt and transfer it at any time. On duty 24 hours a day, unable to communicate for more than two months. 1979 February 18 At 5: 00 a.m., the self-defense counterattack against Vietnam officially started, and heavy artillery fire reflected half the sky. As an anti-aircraft gun unit, we are always ready to destroy the invading enemy. From the beginning to the end of the self-defense counterattack, Vietnam did not dare to take off. On the one hand, we have strong air superiority, and the enemy dare not take off rashly; On the one hand, Vietnam is militaristic and cannot afford air combat. This is how we held our ground until the victory of self-defense counterattack ended.
1May 29, 979, quit the war zone, return to the barracks, rest and wait for orders. Your company arranges for veterans to visit relatives. When I left, the platoon leader told me that there are two possibilities, one is promotion and the other is demobilization at the end of the year. You should be mentally prepared. After returning to the team on July 3, he was informed to go to the division hospital for physical examination on July 4, and was ordered to be the platoon leader of the third artillery company on July 13. Afterwards, I learned that there were some twists and turns around my promotion, thanks to Ma Changyi, the instructor in the camp at that time. Speaking of instructor Ma, I want to say a few more words here. At that time, he was a political instructor of a gun company. He entrusted Guo, who was transferred from the battery company to the battery company and served as the platoon leader for three consecutive terms, to find a commander squad leader to serve in the battery company. Captain Guo recommended me. When I was transferred from Company Three to Company One, the instructor Ma Changyi received me and gave me some requirements. A few days later, he went to Guilin Step School to study. From June 65438 to June 0979, he worked as an instructor in our camp. He only knows about me once, but he pays more attention to me. He went to my company to find out the situation and gave me mixed comments. Instructor Ma pushed his way through the crowd and recommended me as the platoon leader of a division commander of the Third Artillery Corps. Finally, the storm caused by me finally subsided and the dust settled.
Looking back on the past few years in the army, I am filled with emotion. Facing the cold wind and rain, walking on the rugged and muddy road, accompanied by painful tears, ushered in the joy of happiness. This is exactly:
The haze is heavy, the evil wind rises, and ghosts sing.
Ghost crying wolf howling, black and white upside down.
The evil wind rises and the cold current rolls.
Ghosts sing, I cry and jackals laugh.
If something goes wrong, resentment is hard to dissipate.
There are many right and wrong, who knows right and wrong?
After the rainstorm, the towering green hills are still there.
The wind and the clouds are surging, and the clouds will open up.
Ask heaven, can heaven and earth be clearly separated?
Ask the earth, who is who? The earth doesn't know!
It's very low, the wind is cool, it's raining, the wind is humming and the dead leaves are falling. This is my mentality at that time. I looked up at the sky and couldn't help laughing. Instead of doing business, you become a "hero". Loyalty degenerates into lack of courage and ability. In these days when the devil danced wildly and the shemale turned upside down, I was not conquered by evil, nor was I confused by those strange things, but persisted in the face of wind and rain.
I firmly believe that "only the truth will last forever, and everything will pass". "If winter comes, can spring be far behind?"
A snow adorns the mountains and fields with charm, just like a white world, giving people a fresh and white feeling. Snow is filled with spring fog. Ah, spring. Spring breeze slowly, kiss everything, sprout and reproduce. Warm sunshine will melt the ice and snow, and clear snow water will wash away the dust accumulated on the mountain, so that everything covered on the hillside will wake up and restore its grand occasion. I vaguely see that the sowthistle flower hiding in the grass is dreaming of sucking the clear milk and breathing the moist air. Although the severe winter left a scar on it, when the spring breeze blew and the sun shone, it grew like a mushroom after the rain. She is so unpretentious, she is not as tall and straight as pine and cypress, nor as elegant as Kao Peony, but the flowers she blooms have the earthy flavor of her hometown and are refreshing. ......
I often think: shouldn't we have this kind of self-restraint