Seeing the WeChat message reminder appearing at the top of the screen, Li Le, who was originally lying on the bed, climbed up in a single bound and confirmed it again and again on his cell phone. Until it was believed that it was really him.
"Suddenly heard the Peninsula Iron Box, and thought of you."
Just this one sentence. Obviously said to her, but it seems like he doesn't expect her to answer.
Li Le's hand inexplicably does not listen to the command, a line of words typed out and deleted, a few minutes past Li Le still maintains the posture just some overwhelmed.
Li Le knows, no matter how much she does not want to admit, this news is really upset her rhythm, otherwise it is only a week, why the memory of that day only stayed in this matter.
"I heard you're getting married, congratulations."
The two were not happy when they separated, but even if there was resentment after a long time, it was not as strong as it was at the beginning.
In the past few years, the two never said a word between them, even the group sent a New Year's message Li Le deliberately avoided him. At this time and her contact, either to show off or a share of money, in addition to these two Li Le can not think of other reasons.
"How are you doing?"
He didn't pick up on that, and Lile didn't care.
"The usual, mixing it up one day at a time."
"How's work going?"
"Still at the previous company, promoted once."
"Congratulations."
"There is nothing to congratulate, the salary did not grow much, the work is twice as much."
"You don't know what you're talking about, but I think I'll be living in a basement for the rest of my life." Li Le added another sentence without thinking, and regretted a bit after sending it out.
That side of the silence for a long time, the screen bright and clear a few times, Li Le thought he would not reply again, but she still kept that chat interface. It wasn't anticipation, there was no reluctance, she just wanted to linger for a while.
"I shouldn't have said that back then, you're a girl in Beijing don't be too strong, protect yourself."
The screen suddenly lit up again, Li Le stared at the line of words, tears flowed without warning and even unconscious, until she blurred in front of her eyes could not see the words on the phone screen she raised her hand and wiped her eyes.
2
In fact, Li Le has long been living in the basement.
Not long after he left, Li Le turned positive, and then promoted, a colleague of the company resigned to sublet the house to her. Not close to the company, the rent is more than twice as much as before, into the house is the bed, fortunately placed under a cabinet.
But the task is more, the salary is not much more is true. Li Le often spat at the manager of the insidious, give her more than seven or eight hundred per month to let her busy almost feet, the key to her willingness. Even if it doesn't make a big difference to her life in Beijing, she knows that without it, she might have to go back to that basement again.
The basement was the first place they stayed after they graduated from school and came to Beijing. It was small, humid and poorly insulated, and in addition to a bed and a short table for students, there was no room for any other furnishings. There was a queue to shower and a queue to go to the toilet, and the most unbearable thing was that there were no windows, and at night, after the lights were turned off, the darkness was like a net that pressed the people to catch their breath. But even this simple living conditions for the two young people who have just graduated from the probationary period of salary is still not a small burden.
They thought that the basement was just a transitional option, and that they would move out when conditions got a little better, even if it was farther away from the company, and even if they had to eat less.
That year, he lost weight very quickly, was not fat, and now looks even thinner. Li Le looks at him and remembers the time when he was still in school.
They often one person a headset can sit for an afternoon, he likes Eason Chan Li Le likes Jay Chou, his favorite song is "back to the original form", Li Le favorite "Peninsula Steel Box".
At that time, Li Le always will be a good song sung all over the place, his mouth dislike but will smile very happy. Li Le is always bedridden basically get up on the verge of being late, can only rush to run to the classroom, and her breakfast is often long gone. Li Le greedy, every weekend he will take her out to improve a little, the university city around the large and small stores are almost all eaten by them.
A summer night they walked hand in hand, saw a group of square dance aunts, Li Le said, when you are old and can not walk every time I came out to dance in the square to push your wheelchair, so he did not know whether to be happy or angry good.
The happiness of that time can be really simple, even the annoyance can be forgotten as long as you sleep. Whenever this time Li Le feel some trance, the original really graduated ah. The first time I saw this, I was able to see the whole world, and I was able to see the whole world, and I was able to see the whole world.
The first month in Beijing, there was very little money left after paying rent and deposit, and the internship salary of 1,500 dollars had to wait for another month. In order to save money they did not dare to eat in the restaurant, bought a small pot in the basement to do it themselves, many times Li Le himself is not enough to eat she did not dare to ask him if he is also very hungry. The first time I saw this, I had to worry not only about the next meal, but also about the countless repetitions of the embarrassment of the present day.
No new clothes, do not dare to get sick, once even ate half a month of plain boiled noodles with salted vegetables, did not dip half a bit of meat and fish, crowded subway bus even the cab's starting price can not afford to pay, a dollar hate to break into two halves to spend.
Li Le also remembers that once back early, she was cooking in her house, next door to the children to play. His mom talked to her when she came to take him back, and they had been here for six years. The child's father was doing odd jobs with a renovation team, and she came with him. The child is four years old, and she brought him with her because she didn't want to stay in her hometown. The kids have been living in the basement since they were born, but when they are old enough to go to school, they may still have to be sent back home.
Li Le knows that there are more opportunities in this city than anywhere else, so people flock here and then live in the corner, temporarily or permanently. But even so, it still has endless attraction, making countless people crazy about it.
Li Le still remembers her first day here, even the feeling of the hot air on her face as she walked out of Beijing's West Railway Station that day. She stood there, looking at the people hurrying to and fro, and silently said Beijing is so big, she didn't even know that her sense of direction was so poor before she came here. But she wasn't afraid, she felt her dream was worthy of this place. Now that I think about it, it was all a loud slap in the face later.
3
The first time he suggested that he wanted to go back, Li Le did not take it to heart, she thought it might be the days were too bitter he whined.
He was reluctant to come, he wanted to stay in the place where he grew up, have a stable job and a stable life, but in order to be with her he defied his parents and came to Beijing.
At the beginning, Li Le could comfort himself and comfort him, there is no such thing as an uneatable pain, the pain is over, the sweetness will come.
In the beginning, Li Le could comfort himself and comfort him that there is no such thing as a hard day's work.
Gradually, he began to more and more frequently proposed to go back to his hometown, at first Li Le felt afraid, but when the two words were repeated too many times after Li Le only feel bored. After that, it is an endless quarrel, more hysterical than once, noisy heart is cold.
Until one day Li Le heard him and his parents on the phone mentioned to go back, mentioned the work of the family, she realized that his parents had already found a good job for him in the hometown.
The two men argued a lot on that occasion, and said all the harsh words of the past few years. He said, "Li Le, you don't dream anymore, you can't afford to buy a bathroom in your lifetime by relying on it here, and you're just living in the basement of the life."
It turns out that the people who were once the closest can be so unfamiliar and unfeeling.
He left a couple of days after that.
The night before he left, the two of them were crammed back to back on that narrow bed, and she stayed awake for half the night but didn't dare to turn over, and even breathed carefully, and the next morning she got up before the alarm went off and went to work. Even though she knew full well that there was no possibility of them ever being together again after this, she hadn't dared to stay in this small space for one more second, let alone watch him pack his bags and send him away.
When Li Le went back in the evening, for the first time she felt that the small basement was actually a bit empty. Under the dim light, Li Le saw the money pressed under the bowl on the table, and she took it out and held it in her hand to hold back her tears. She said to herself, she is not afraid, just the heart of the empty, this city, in the end, or left her alone.
In the past few years, Li Le's parents and friends did not persuade her that a girl should not be so hard to fight, and she did not waver, but she is not willing.
A person in an unfamiliar city crawling around, simply do not dare to see themselves as a woman. Whenever you are afraid of despair, the words "you are the life of the basement" will ring in your ears, and she has made her life a competition with him.
She's not a smart girl, she's been around a long way and lost her way, and sometimes she feels like she can only go so far, but she's been able to get through all the hurdles, big and small, with the strength of that denial. She is also often afraid, afraid that it is a fluke, afraid of no longer have that kind of luck, but the road is still long.
He just left the time, Li Le sleepless nights. She does not know stubbornly stay here is right or wrong, she is afraid that even if she relies on here ten or twenty years still have to live in the basement also still do not want to take a taxi also still ate this meal worry about the next meal landing. And he has long been married with children and happy, said to her, you see what I said.
But now it seems that the opponents simply do not know the existence of this game, Li Le also do not know who he is in the end over the years and who is fighting for your life. Has always been Li Le feel that he left her behind, in fact, quietly think about what he did nothing wrong, she has what reason to let him accompany himself to live this kind of life, he should have a better choice.
She is also.
4
Li Le moved numb legs, and do not know how long to maintain this position, she stretched a lazy long breath.
Every day after growing up is like being pushed forward by time, and no one asked her if she would be tired or scared. At first felt that they are difficult to swallow the past is actually long forgotten, the original feel that they can not pass in fact has gone a long way. This is the price.
Now Li Le is still afraid to get sick, can eat overtime meals do not order takeout, or even cab starting price are not willing to pay. The dream, not to mention a little bit, often tired to cry and want to die and want to retaliate against society. But when she caught the last bus, she was late for the subway, and when she got her bonus at the end of the year, she still wanted to love the city.
As for how many more years of hard work it takes to afford a toilet, let it all go. What to eat for breakfast tomorrow, whether she can squeeze on the subway, whether the program sent to the boss can pass, this is what Li Le needs to worry about.
Li Le opened his cell phone and looked at the time, there are less than five hours the alarm clock will go off. Li Le pulled the quilt over her head and pulled it down again, as if she had made up her mind to set the alarm clock back half an hour, and mumbled, "If I can't squeeze into the subway, I'll take a taxi."
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