Why are we no longer in touch?
Article / Lu Xiaomo
I have a very good friend in junior high school Ai Ye, each other through each other's clothes, used each other's toothbrushes, and even the same bed **** pillow.
At that time, junior high school life is very boring, usually not much entertainment, the network is not as popular as now, so we talk together a lot of time.
In addition to the school will eat together, walk together, go to the bathroom together, the two of us will often go to each other's homes to play, and sometimes play to get directly to the night does not go back.
My parents also made fun of us, saying that we are twin flowers, should be sisters in their past lives, this life is reincarnated in different families, hard to be separated.
At the end of the second year of junior high school, the whole school had to be divided into different classes, and when the news came to our ears, both of us were in a terrible mood.
When the news reached us that the whole school was going to be split up at the end of the second year, both of us were in a terrible state of mind, because class separation is so random, and the probability of being able to get into another class is only 1/17.
The thought of being split up made both of us look at each other in dismay. That night I went home and spent the night folding stars in my room and filling up my wishing bottle.
The next day when I went to school, she laughed at me and said that I had done something good last night that made me panda eyes. I took out the wishing bottle from my bag and handed it to her, and she immediately lost her words and took the wishing bottle, but her eyes were wet.
The two of us never thought of separating, and did not expect how to separate later.
As a result, on the first day of school in junior high, the list of new classes appeared on the bulletin board. The two of us weren't in the same class, she was in class 3 and I was in class 11. One on the left side of the third floor, one on the right side of the fourth floor, eight rods can not hit a piece.
Although it is not divided in the same class, but at that time we still feel very good.
Because just to a new class, a lot of people are strangers, the pressure of the junior high school is relatively large, every day free time are used in writing homework, of course, for me there is another thing more important, that is, to sleep.
So, in addition to sleeping and writing homework, the rest simply can not find more time to chat with others to make friends.
In the beginning, the two of us would often get together to discuss our homework and gossip about our new classmates, but gradually the contact became less and less.
Every class has a different time, especially gym class. For girls, gym class is a gossip class, where they can find all sorts of reasons to ask the teacher for time off from exercising, and then gather together in twos and threes to gossip about their friends.
When she was in gym class, our class happened to be a study hall, and I would pretend to go to the bathroom, but actually sneak out to play with her.
In the beginning, I was quite reckless, but, as a result, I was accidentally caught by the homeroom teacher once, and I slowly returned to study.
We agreed that we would go to the same high school and play together. The result was that I was able to get into a major high school in our county, but she had a problem at home and didn't get to play well.
Our county is very large, the city south and north of the car is more than an hour, and I went to the south of the city, she went to the north of the city.
I went to her school once in high school, and the two walked around the school for a whole afternoon, talking a lot, feeling all the alienation before all of a sudden, only to be left with a long-lost familiarity and acquaintance.
But gradually, more and more people appeared around, high school we began to live in the school, the school is also very strict, go home once a week, usually can not bring a cell phone, can only use the public **** phone to contact the family.
We still call each other in the first year of high school, nagging about the people and things around them, and sometimes go out to drink milk tea and visit the bookstore.
She loved small pendants, and the two of us would go to the antique market in the city to look for things. Although I feel that sometimes I can not find the intersection of life, but because I am familiar with each other's preferences, I can still play very happy.
However, the study and life slowly became busy, usually sleep time is difficult to ensure. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and you'll be able to do it all in one place.
I don't know, we haven't contacted each other for a long time.
After the end of the examination, I went to Yunnan, she stayed in Zhejiang. I remember that after graduation we also met one side, each other left the phone, that time we also talked a lot, but are in the memory of the past interesting things, as for what happened now, a lot of want to say but do not know where to start.
Sometimes time makes two people become very much in love, but it is also very easy to make two people who love each other become strangers.
Friendship is also the need to maintain and recharge, especially years of friends, although deep memory is familiar, but if you always rely on memories of life, will slowly become no longer contact.
I've always enjoyed listening to a radio program called "Winter-Wall Relativity," in which Liang Dong and Wu Bofan talked about the topic of longtime friends.
I was particularly struck by one sentence: "As I get older, I know more and more people around me, but I have fewer and fewer friends, and there are only a handful of old friends who have been with me for more than 20 years."
Sometimes I wonder what made us stop talking.
I thought it was because we didn't have the same topic, the same interests, or the same life, but then I thought, it's because we are too lazy to maintain this relationship, let it slowly fade, and gradually change from familiar to strange.
Some time ago, I started to comb through my friends, and realized that I had been good enough to get tired of my girlfriends, but I hadn't contacted them for a long time. The only thing I've noticed is that I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through to my friends or not.
Because a person is always in a strange city, only when you go home can you see an old friend.
Because a person is always in a strange city, the only time to see an old friend is when you go back home.
Maybe it's convenient at work, but it's hard to say the same for friends.
I am now more and more fond of meeting instead of calling, calling instead of texting, and texting instead of WeChat.
This WeChat, which makes communication free, also cheapens communication between people. When the cost of communication between two people is higher, in fact, the efficiency of communication will be greater, and the possibility of spiritual communication will be higher.
Meeting in person is expensive to communicate, but it's also the most efficient way.
Last winter vacation, I met with a high school playmate, and we hadn't seen each other in four years. But we talked a lot that afternoon, and spent the afternoon sharing our respective four years with each other, strangely familiar.
Then the two also laughed to, WeChat has always said that there is time to talk, or meet and talk fast. She also said that if I had not suggested that we meet, it would be really unlikely to have time to talk.
I used to think of "contacting old friends" as an "important but not urgent" thing, and I was always dealing with "important and urgent" things. I've been working on "important and urgent" things, and when I get a break, I still think, "I'll get back to you later.
But I actually know that this opportunity, time, later, are very difficult to realize.
What makes us stop contacting each other?
Not the distance, not the topic, not the intersection, but we can no longer take the young that blood, that leisure, that calm as water, willing to take the time to talk to a person simply talk about life, talk about the future and dreams.
A few days ago, I summoned the courage to make a phone call to Ai Ye, she is now back home to work, there are loving boyfriends around her, although not much to talk about, but not at all strange.
I said on the phone, when I go back for winter vacation this year, we must go to our favorite milk tea store again, and then browse the old bookstore next to it. She smiled and said, "Yes, yes, I'll wait for you to come back.
I always hope that in the future, my life, and your participation.
I always hope that in the future, my life, and the participation of you.
Because you used to be the most important person in my youth.
A relationship maintenance, always need a person initiative, and then there are two sides of the opportunity to work hard.
This is the first time I've ever seen a person with a high level of confidence in the world of work, and I've never seen a person with a high level of confidence in the world of work.
Then, you can still spend a weekend afternoon with a crazy companion.