The doctor said, "You have thyroid cancer and need to have it removed as soon as possible." .
I was stunned by this sentence, and my world was suddenly dark. That year, I was 45 years old and ran an intermediary company alone in Guangzhou.
Busy life makes me very full, so full that I don't have much time to think about my personal feelings. The busyness of the workplace made me forget that there is another way to live in life. I didn't know that the meaning of living was not just making money until my body turned red.
My heart is beating and my lungs are breathing. I can only say that I'm not dead. The meaning of living lies in good health, peace of mind, bright mind and broad spirit.
According to the doctor's arrangement, I had cancer cell resection. The operation was very successful and the rehabilitation effect was good. After half a year's rest, I sold my company. Since then, I have had a lot of leisure time.
I have been to Yunnan, Tibet and Xinjiang. The liveliness, prosperity and busyness of the city and the tranquility, simplicity and leisure of the countryside made me rethink my life.
My time has slowed down. I smell the fragrance of earth and grass, hear the whispers of nature, and taste the sweetness of fruits and vegetables. I fell in love with such an uncontested life.
Back in Guangzhou, I sold my apartment in the city and settled down in a small town. I have a small yard, a table, all kinds of vegetables, reading books and enjoying myself.
In those days, I hardly went out except to buy some necessities. I feel that time is my own and there is no need to share it with others.
My selfishness in time really made me taste the bitter fruit. One day at noon, I was reading a book against stigma in the yard as usual, when the phone suddenly rang and it was my best friend.
I smiled and turned on the phone, but I couldn't speak. Even if there are a thousand words in my heart, I can't make a sound. I lost my voice.
I panicked, I was afraid that it would come like a scourge, and I was afraid that my world would lose its voice and become dumb. I must change my lifestyle and go into the crowd to communicate with everyone.
2
The square dance was in full swing, and I joined them and became an aunt in the square. But after a week of this life, I retreated, and the sound of the raging river in the square made me uncomfortable.
I decided to enter the workplace.
I submitted countless resumes and interviewed 10 companies, all of which ended in failure.
I want to be a boss in the workplace for the first half of my life, and I want to be a grass-roots employee for the second half of my life, looking for a job like filing office documents.
Nine times out of ten, my interviewer told me that I was more suitable to be a manager and I was turned away from paperwork.
Yes! Shop assistants are the privilege of young girls. Who wants to use an old man who is almost 50 years old?
Money is not important to me. I'm not looking for a job to make money. I just want to join a group, so I look at the operators on the assembly line.
A week later, I got my wish and became an operator. On the assembly line, I met Sister Mei, who regarded me as her sister.
The life of ordinary workers is really hard. Get up at 7:40 in the morning to go to work, get off work at 8:30 in the evening, and only have 40 minutes to eat at noon.
In my days as a factory girl, I deeply realized the feeling of watering rice. I'm very busy every day, 10 hours of work makes my back ache.
After working for 20 days, I was finally exhausted and my body warned me again. My left hand is like a terrible pain. I thought I was exhausted.
Mei Jie invited me to a massage parlor and spent hundreds of dollars, but in the end I didn't get any relief. I had to quit my job and leave the assembly line.
Mei Jie often comes to see me. One day, she cooked me a lot of delicious food. The food on the table was tempting, but at that time, my body and soul seemed to be separated.
I obviously feel that I am floating in mid-air, stepping on Xiangyun, and my soul is hovering over my body, eating nothing.
I had to walk into the hospital, where people began to be afraid again. After 1 months of treatment, the body recovered.
three
On the day of discharge, Mei Jie took me to her home, and she cooked chicken soup and other nutrients for me.
It was also on that day that I met Luo Xin.
He is in his fifties, humorous, enthusiastic and careful. We talk about everything, share the same interests and love rural life.
At 8 o'clock in the evening, Mei Jie got up and sent me home. Rosin stood up for the first time. He offered to see me off, and I accepted.
Besides Mei Jie, Luo Xin is my second friend after living in a small town. He often takes me to his farm, which is a very beautiful place. The flowers and plants in the garden make my mood very carefree.
It's another sunny day. Flowers and plants exult, insects and birds sing, the wind blows gently, the trees shake slowly, and the sun smiles gently. Everything is so calm.
I sat among the flowers and enjoyed the rare beauty. Luo Xin is making fragrant green tea on the coffee table.
There was a gurgling sound in the teapot. Tea is ready, Luo Xin poured me a cup, and we enjoyed the wonderful time in this world together.
It was at that time that he talked about our first meeting.
He said, "You are a woman who makes my eyes shine. See you, I feel the world is full of sunshine ... "
It was also on that day that we fell in love, and along the way, I devoted myself wholeheartedly.
Later, I lived on his farm. In the first days, we were really happy, but as time went on, our contradictions increased day by day.
I like calm, but he likes excitement. His farm meets once every three days and once every five days.
The weather in Guangdong is particularly hot. Cleaning up after the party really brought me to the brink of collapse, and our world collapsed in constant cleaning up.
four
I left the first half of my life to the workplace, and I just want to live a quiet life in the second half, but Luo Xin seems to prefer to get together with friends.
The quarrel made me re-examine the man in front of me. I found that I had misunderstood him before, and I didn't know what to do.
One day, I got together with my brothers and sisters in Luoxin, and I told them my doubts and troubles.
Luo Cheng (Luo Xin's younger brother) said: "My brother is a person who cares about his friends. In his mind, friends are better than family, so being his friend is better than being his family. " .
Luo Huizhi (Luo Xin's sister) said, "If my brother didn't care so much about his friends, he wouldn't. He cares more about face than his friends. In fact, he is selfish and only loves himself. "
What the Rossins said made me understand the man's attitude towards life. I am a person who can't afford it.
The next day, I packed my things and decided to bid farewell to my present life.
When I left, I said to Luo Xin, "Let's call it a day! We are not suitable to be lovers, and our lifestyles and pursuits are different. We will only hurt each other if we are tied together. "
I went back to my yard, although I was very lost, but I have no regrets, because I have always been very serious about this relationship and worked hard.
The most important interpersonal relationship in life is not partnership, nor parent-child relationship, but relationship with self.
Marriage or love, if I can't live a better life, then I'd rather live alone.
In my fifties, I chose to start over and live a new life.
The complexity of society makes people impatient. After the age of 30, people will not be calm, their careers will not succeed, marriage will not be possible, and life will be as confused as entering a black hole.
Plum coconut? Marx said in "Life is up to me":
Always be passionate about life and never be afraid of the courage to start from scratch! I am the root of everything in life, and I will fight for the happiness and happiness I want!
May we all live our own wonderful lives!