Relax on New Year's Day, life is rare.
Abandon troubles and pressures and climb up happily step by step.
I sincerely wish you a good mood! thank you
Health A: Good evening, teachers and students!
When the new year comes, I sincerely wish you that in the new year,
Smooth sailing, two dragons take off, three sheep open Thailand, four seasons are safe, five blessings, six or six big shun, seven stars shine high, money comes from all directions, 99 in one, perfect!
Health B: (Pace)
Ah, every flower is in full bloom, every fireworks is lit,
Every second is flowing, every miss is passing,
Every moment of staring represents every blessing I want to give to the audience: Dear students, Happy New Year!
Teacher: Now, the three of us have sent our blessings. How about you two introduce yourselves to the audience?
Hesheng: Good!
Health A: (Step forward) My name is Cui.
Health B: (Step forward) My last name is Jia.
Health A: My name is Hugh.
Health B: My name is Er Silly.
Health A: I am studying in Nankai.
Health B: I study at Hoda University.
Health A: I learned Chinese.
Health B: I have studied Chinese and French.
Student A: No.2 Middle School is my alma mater.
Health B: No.2 Middle School is my real mother.
Health A: My idol is Bruce Lee.
Health B: My idol is Madonna.
Health A: I know all the anecdotes in the world!
Health B: You can't play the boss in front of me!
Health A: I'm not afraid to come and go!
Health B: I'm not afraid of airplanes! (confrontation)
Health A: My ability is unparalleled.
Health B: I will definitely surpass him in IQ!
Health A: I don't need an awl to wear shoes-great!
Health B: I am a dog driving ducks to the shelves!
Teacher: (pulls away) Stop, stop, stop. You two are really good at playing. But we can't play, there are so many spectators watching!
Hesheng: (Back to the original position) Yes, listen to the teacher!
Teacher: Students, our culture in China has a long history and is profound! Since both of you are studying Chinese, and neither of you will admit defeat, I have just prepared some composition questions, and now I want to test you.
Hesheng: OK, teacher, why don't you start?
Hesheng: I understand!
Teacher: OK, let's start now. Trav, listen to the question. Who is the "beer cover" circulating on the Internet today? What is his greatest contribution?
Health A: Bill Gates, who owns hundreds of billions of assets in the United States, founded Microsoft system as his greatest contribution.
Teacher: Simple answer! Continue to listen to the topic, saying that there is a high school dropout whose work won the first prize in the first new concept composition contest. After that, his literary road became wider and wider, and his popularity became higher and higher, and he almost became an idol for young people in China to learn. Who is this man?
Health A: Han Han.
Teacher: Correct. Jia, listen, what did the German philosopher Hegel create? What is his greatest feature?
Student B: He founded dialectics, and its biggest feature is that he never asks about family affairs.
Teacher: Oh, you know a lot-
Health B: I want to tell you a story about him. Once, Hegel's house caught fire accidentally, and the panicked servant broke into the study and shouted at Hegel who was thinking about philosophical issues in the study: "No, no, the house is on fire!" " When Hegel heard this, he said to his servant unhurriedly, "I have told you many times that I have to tell my wife about family affairs and let her solve it herself." Don't you know that I never ask about family affairs? " You said you couldn't be angry?
Teachers and students: exasperating and ridiculous!
Teacher: How else can you be called a philosopher? Xiao Jia continued to listen to the topic, saying that a post-80 s girl began to take care of a paraplegic netizen in the depths of the mountains in 2008. For three years, she has no regrets and quietly "disappeared" from society. What is the last name of this "invisible girl"?
Health B: Here. . .
Health A: Are you stupid? Can't you? Let me help you. This "invisible girl" is called Yang Jiaqun, and her story has already spread all over the country-
Health B: How do you know?
Health A: Online! I also know that the paralyzed netizen's name is Lei Zejun, and his hometown is in laohekou city, Hubei. With the full help of the local government, he is expected to stand up again!
Health B: Wow, how touching!
Teacher: There is true love in the world! Listen, Cui, since the normalization of diplomatic relations between China and the United States in the 1970s, which four ambassadors have been there?
Health A: That won't trouble me. And Woodcock, Heng Anshi, Rod and Li Lilai, right?
Teacher: That's right. Please continue to listen to the question. Who is known as "opening the era of personal diplomacy"?
Health A: Yao Ming! Well, when it comes to Yao Ming, I feel a little sad.
Health B: Why?
Health A: Although he is now worth 2 billion yuan, who knows how many hardships he has experienced?
Health B: You know?
Health A: Of course!
Health B: Tell me quickly.
Born in 2003 to 20 1 1, Yao Ming's nine years of incomparable scenery turned out to be a bloody history. From head to toe, * * * has experienced more than 30 injuries or operations. A magazine reported his deeds with the title of "Life with 200 million wealth"!
Teacher: A celebrity's success will be full of hardships, not plain sailing!
Health B: Oh, I see.
Teacher: Xiao Jia, who was once known as "the symbol of spying on China society"?
Health B: Chris Lee.
Teacher: Yes. Now listen to me recite a poem, please answer who is the poet?
"Eighty-one years ago, I was homeless three thousand miles away, and my flesh and blood were lonely. I hope China was in tears. Jin once worshipped Xiang, and Yutang declared hemp ten times, recalling the prosperity of the past and turning it into a dream talk here. " Did you hear that?
Student B: Easy. It was written by Cai Jing, a traitor in the Northern Song Dynasty. Later people called it Cai Jing's book of introspection.
Teacher: OK, give you full marks. It's trav's turn this time. Please listen to the topic. There is a saying in ancient allusions that "great talents" cheat "little beauties". Who do you mean respectively?
Health A: Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun. When Mr Sima is mentioned, Ms Zhuo will gnash her teeth with anger and accuse him of being a "charlatan".
Health B: Why?
Student A: Because Mr. Sima once told a big lie to Ms. Zhuo. He not only concealed his real age and family property, but also concealed his physical defect-stuttering from her. Whenever two people sit opposite each other, he never talks, pretends to be a gentleman, and just plays the piano assiduously to convey his feelings with the sound of the piano-
Student B: So he must play the piano very well?
Health A: Of course! Otherwise, how can we win the hearts of beautiful women and make uncooked rice mature?
Health B: Haha, that's really capable!
Teacher: This place has become an eternal story. After all, the two of them finally got married and became a beautiful talk. Xiao Jia listened to the question and said that there was a coup in ancient times to refuse bribes by honest officials. What is that?
Health B: "Hang things to show sincerity".
Teacher: So who does "hanging silk to show honesty" mean? What's the matter with you?
Student B: Dan Tao, a native of the Western Jin Dynasty, is the minister in charge of the appointment, removal and assessment of officials.
Teacher: What about "hanging fish"?
Student B: Yang Jian of the Eastern Han Dynasty, who was the magistrate of Nanyang.
Teacher: What about "Guagua"?
Student B: Su Qiong in Beiqi, Taishou in Nanqing.
Teacher: "Hanging Goose"
Shengyi: Zhou Xin of the Ming Dynasty was once an imperial adviser.
Teacher: awesome, it's just an answer stream!
Student B: I'm flattered. As your disciple, you should read widely and be familiar with ancient and modern times!
Teacher: Follow your feelings, but don't follow them! What one likes, one should study hard, so that your life will be meaningful.
Hesheng: The teacher is right! We must follow your instructions!
Teacher: Now you can answer first. Speaking of it, Japanese blind date is also funny. Do you know what's new?
Student B: I said, are there any tricks such as bathing blind date, worship blind date, blood type blind date and fishing blind date?
Teacher: Yes, young people really know a lot! Please continue to listen to the question. Who is the China scientist who won the Nobel Prize?
Health A: (Holding each other's arm) I know Yang Zhenyu, Li Zhengdao, Ding Zhaozhong, Li Yuanzhe, Chu, Cui Qi, Qian Yongjian and Gao Kun.
Teacher: Correct answer. How much do you know about the twenty commandments of American life?
Student B: (making a shoving gesture) Teacher, I have studied this problem. Listen to me in detail. First, don't hitchhike, second, don't take the subway at night, third, don't say sorry casually, fourth, same-sex people can't dance together, fifth, don't take off their shoes in front of others, sixth, don't stick out your tongue in front of others, seventh, don't laugh casually, eighth, bend over when passing by your seat, ninth, don't get drunk at the party, and tenth, don't go out before going out. . .
Health A: (Stop) Stop, I know. Americans always greet strangers. Americans believe that modesty is not a virtue. Americans don't forget to greet their children before going out. American women can't drink alone Americans never give gifts at will. Americans never pay for others when they eat in restaurants. Americans pay attention to gestures. When speaking, Americans are more specific. . .
Teacher: OK, OK, stop, stop, I am convinced! And don't call black people "negro". Americans must keep clean after going to the toilet, right?
Hesheng: Yes!
Teacher: Continue to answer first. It is said that there are "six monsters" in Russia. What are they?
Health B: I'll answer it! The six monsters are: the grass is covered with snow, the hat is like a pot cover, the broken car runs fast, the girl's thighs are exposed, the big bed is very narrow, and the old lady does all the work!
Teacher: You're right! How many libraries are there in Harvard University?
Health A: I'll answer that. There are about 65,438+000 seats. These include comprehensive libraries and professional libraries. Every college has a library, and even the dormitory has a library!
Teacher: Good. Continue to answer first: What is "naked marriage"?
Health A: Here. . .
Student B: I'm stumped. Let me tell you something. The so-called "naked marriage" refers to a way for the post-80s generation to enter the latest marriage trend. They use many "no" such as "no house, no car, no diamond ring", "no wedding dress, no savings, no wedding and no honeymoon" to explain the frugal way of getting married. In short, when you get married, you don't need anything but a marriage certificate from Zhang Huali at the registration office.
Speaking of which, I want an episode. My family is not rich. My brother asked his mother for money before he got married and wanted to buy more furniture. I heard my mother say this to my brother: "Son, grandpa only needs half a bucket of rice to marry his daughter-in-law, and dad only needs half a pig to marry his daughter-in-law, but you married your parents with half a life!"
Teacher: Therefore, young people should be self-reliant, create their own wealth, and try their best to reduce the burden of life for their parents! Cui, let me ask you another question: What is the most bitter thing in life? What is the happiest thing?
Student A: Tell the teacher that when you are lovelorn, you are the most bitter, and when you get married, you are the happiest.
Teacher: Xiao Jia also talked about it.
Health B: I think people are the most bitter when they are insomnia, and the happiest when they are reunited with their relatives.
Teacher: None of your answers are correct. I said that the hardest thing in life is to shoulder a future responsibility on my body! I am the happiest when I finish my duty!
Hesheng: Well, the teacher still thinks far!
Teacher: Of course. Please continue to answer, saying that Jin Yong, a famous martial arts novelist and philosopher in Taiwan Province Province, has the reputation that "the Eight Winds can't be blown". What does this "eight winds" mean?
Health B: I'll answer that. Jin Lao's eight styles refer to "profit, decline, ruin, reputation, reputation, irony, bitterness and joy", that is, four shun and four inverse. The sages once taught that we should cultivate ourselves not to be moved by any wind, which is the highest accomplishment.
Teacher: Good point. Now let's talk about the principle of being a man. Listen, Trav, what two kinds of people do you want to make friends with?
Student A: One is a good teacher and the other is a good friend.
Teacher: Correct. So, which two skills should be cultivated?
Health A: Doing things is touching; Talking makes people like it.
Teacher: OK! What two things can a person eat in his life?
Health A: One is bitter, and the other is bitter.
Teacher: Oh, great! Now answer first: which two habits should a person consciously cultivate?
Student B: Read books and listen to speeches.
Teacher: Correct. Please continue to answer: which two principles should one always grasp?
Health B: You should have a clear conscience at home and abide by the law abroad.
Teacher: Good point! Now it is Xiao Jia's turn to answer. Listen, what two hurdles must a person cross in his life?
Health B: One hurdle is love, and the other hurdle is money.
Teacher: So, what two things do you need to do in your life?
Health B: First, we should be grateful, and second, we should become attached.
Teacher: I ask you again, what two kinds of breath do you need in life?
Health B: First, the spirit of life, and second, the spirit.
Teacher: OK, give a simple answer! Cui, listen and say, what two things must you learn in your life?
Student A: Teacher, didn't you just ask Xiaojia?
Teacher: I did it last time, but I learned it this time.
Health A: Oh, I see. One is to learn to earn money, and the other is to learn to think. Is that so?
Teacher: Exactly! What about the two basic points of life?
Health A: Personally, I think one is confused and the other is smart.
Teacher: You are absolutely right! Now we're going to change the subject and discuss the problem of western men.
Hesheng: (puzzled) The problem of western men?
Teacher: That is to say, what are the characteristics of western men in appearance and life interest?
Hesheng: Oh, I see. Please ask questions, teacher!
Teacher: Please listen carefully. What are the characteristics of English men?
Health B: I said that English men are gentlemen, but they don't like brushing their teeth and love fighting, especially football fans. Right?
Teacher; Yes! What about French men?
Health A: I say French men are romantic, but they are notoriously narcissistic.
Teacher: What about Spanish men?
Health B: Spanish men are not only romantic, but also handsome. There are many world-class handsome guys.
Teacher: What about German men?
Health A: (Grabbing his mouth) German men work hard and are more like robots. Everyone is serious and unsmiling.
Health B: Here's the thing. Looks like you've done your research.
Teacher: Well, Xiao Jia went on to answer. What do you think are the characteristics of American men?
Health B: When it comes to American men, their biggest feature is their height. They have many advantages worth learning, such as respect for women, kindness and justice, strong patriotism and so on.
Teacher: Good point! What about Australian men?
Health B: The men in this country are almost as tall as Americans, but they all have some old fashion things.
Teacher: Hmm. What about Norwegian men?
Health A: (Competition) I know that too.
Teacher: Look, I can't wait! Tell me.
Health A: Speaking of men in this country, they are depressed and have good figure and looks. There are few fat people. They don't like talking, they just like reading and thinking.
Teacher: That's right. What about Italian men?
Health B: Italian men are very special-
Teacher: What special method?
Health B: Italian men dance when they talk, sing and dance when they are excited, and they can cry and laugh without scruple on any occasion. They love life and care about their children, but their lives are disorganized.
Teacher: I am very touched by your answers. I want to sum up with an idiom, that is: hanging a kettle on my ass-
Hesheng: What do you mean?
Teacher: (You) all have a certain level!
Hesheng: I'm flattered!
Teacher: Through today's competition, we can know that you have all kinds of knowledge. The teacher really convinced you! However, two monks, you should also remember the teacher's last sentence: the heart turns with the environment, as an ordinary person, the environment turns with your heart, as a saint! Teachers sincerely wish you, in the future journey of life, Lu Ge all the way, don't let the years go by!
Hesheng: Yes, sir! We must follow your instructions, study hard now, learn our skills well and do something great in the future!
Teacher: OK, OK! (shaking hands) Then I'll see you on New Year's Day next year-
Hesheng: Goodbye, teachers! Goodbye, brothers and sisters! See you at your alma mater! (Teachers and students * * * salute the audience present)
Teacher-student combination: Thank you! Happy new year! Goodbye!