The first step is to do a good job in everyone's psychological construction. Why do you let him talk to many people? I think there are two reasons: first, you want to talk, deliberately create a topic, and the opportunity to get to know each other better is stressful. Second, usually you want to strike up a conversation with someone who excites you, and facing such an object will make you nervous. But you don't have to be so nervous. Think about it. Do you usually have the experience of talking to others? Asking directions, asking things, that kind of forced question, there must be. Do you get nervous? I won't. In fact, you just think of it as a last resort, so that you have to seek experience. Take a deep breath and you'll be up in three seconds.
Tip 2: Practice more.
I think you should practice talking to people more. Men and women, old and young, China people and foreigners. We often don't cherish the opportunity to talk to people around us. We ride bicycles together for hours without even saying a word, which makes this society indifferent. Take the initiative to care about others and seize many opportunities to talk with people around you. You will find that these strangers can broaden your horizons and lay the foundation for your smooth conversation with others in the future. After practicing so skillfully, you will find how easy it is to "pretend to be familiar" with a stranger and let your guard down.
Tip 3: Learn from foreigners.
Foreigners are experts in chatting up people. After going abroad so many times, every girl in the same group has several records of being accosted by European and American boys. Some are in souvenir shops, and some are on tables beside pubs. At one time, the most exaggerated thing was that several boys in our group were walking on the road, and a foreigner leaned over and said to the girl, "Would you like a cup of coffee? Would you like a cup of coffee? Sure enough, the nationalities are different. Shouldn't we be more open and learn?
Tip 4: Cheeky.
You have to be thick-skinned to strike up a conversation I was taught this. I think it means that you should be proactive, not afraid, not afraid of ugliness, as long as you come to the door with sincerity. Many people shrink back because they are thin-skinned, but why don't you know if girls want to know you? Well, after some pre-departure education, I'm finally ready to start chatting up.
Tip 5: Observe the environment.
What should I say when I go to talk? It depends on your keen observation. I don't think observation should only be observed when you meet your favorite object. Look around carefully at ordinary times. I like sitting in the corner, observing the crowd and practicing observation. A person reveals some information from head to toe. The external part, the feeling of dress and gesture; To the inner part, what she is doing, what she is interested in, whether her expression is happy or sad, or why she is here, and so on. This part is quite important. Why? Because there is usually not much time for you to observe, it is more important for you to judge what to say in a short time. Observation is not achieved overnight, and it needs constant practice. Even if I don't succeed in chatting up people, I think this skill will be of great benefit in the future, who can and can't be trusted, and so on.
Tip 6: Show your face.
The purpose of showing your face is to let the other person have a chance to see you and know your existence. If you can, it is also good to meet your eyes inadvertently and let him feel your existence. But remember, keep smiling and make a good impression on each other. Cool guys and sad kids are out of fashion now. However, this is not necessary. Do I need to show my face before asking for directions?
Tip 7: Show sincerity and talk face to face.
I saw many people sharing their chatting experience on the board before. Because of the fear of this step, I changed to a more indirect way, such as sending a note or telling her what I want to know. I strongly disapprove of this practice, because it can only show one thing, that is, you have no sincerity to make friends. If there is a second thing, it is your cowardice. I want to ask, when you have a question and really need to talk to others, will you pass a note? Of course not. Then why send a note at this time? This is a strange way to "aggravate" things. Besides, a cold note, however vivid the words are, is not as good as the beginning of your own conversation with him. There is a saying that "three minutes of love after a brief encounter" is the truth. Someone sent a note and asked others to add it to MSN. I was bored for a long time because I didn't add it. If one day you receive a note that says MSN, will you add it? So I advocate that we must do it. Take the initiative to be nice and let the other person see you clearly and completely.
Tip 8: Reasons for reasonable conversation.
You don't need to find reasons to speak on every occasion. It is natural to start a conversation in some occasions, such as clubs, parties, dances, etc. (it is really strange not to talk). Of course, salesgirls talk about products, students in class may talk about asking questions or learning, and people on the road generally talk about asking for directions. The reasons we need to talk about here apply to some situations. For example, there are many shop assistants. Why do you want to find her? Or there are many students in the class, why do you want to talk to her? At this time, we need a reasonable reason. Although you and I both know that we talked to her specially because we think she is very exciting to you, I think it is absolutely impossible to show it. If asked, you should say that it is because of some compelling reasons, or praise her for her good inner level. Think of such reasons when you speak. Never say "you are beautiful" and other superficial compliments to a beautiful woman who is often accosted. Maybe I think if you really want to praise, don't praise at all. You can only say "your bag is so cute", which shows her insight and taste.
Tip 9: The content of the conversation.
After figuring out why we want to talk about it, the content is actually roughly settled. The depth and breadth of the conversation depend on your own efforts. Only by reading more books and newspapers can you be in an invincible position in the conversation and let people feel that your kind, lovely and enthusiastic side has been fully displayed at this time. Advice 10: About praise. I have reservations about this part, which means I don't approve of praising others the first time. Usually, the people who will be accosted have quite good external conditions. So they are usually used to compliments from others and don't need your icing on the cake. If you still say "you are so cute" and "you are so beautiful" to her, it means two things, one is that you are superficial, and the other is that if you see something more beautiful one day, you will strike up a conversation with her. If you really have to praise, then say a compliment that can highlight her connotation and character. Remember not to talk too much, so that she will talk less.
Skill 1 1: your external conditions.
This part is realistic. Although we should pay attention to connotation, we should not judge a book by its appearance. But I'm sorry, because whether people will leave you contact information will not only involve the feeling of talking just now, but also your appearance. But then again, if you look like Takeshi Kaneshiro, maybe someone will talk to you today. Therefore, although we are not handsome, we must work hard in this direction. Details are not the focus of this article.
Skill 12: Contact information.
The conversation is drawing to a close, so it's time to leave your contact information. Some opportunities are regular gatherings, and you don't need contact information for the first conversation. As long as you are familiar with it for a long time, you will naturally understand it. But it's tricky In most cases, after meeting today, I don't know when to meet again. This means that you must get her contact information in such a short time. This is the success or failure of this conversation. But don't worry too much. Because as I said just now, whether she will leave it for you has something to do with the feeling you just talked to her, as well as your external conditions and so on. If the previous homework is done well, you don't have to worry about this step. As long as you are sincere, I have little chance to refuse. I've seen that kind of guy who doesn't say much. He's a handsome guy because he has the cheek to ask for a phone number. Of course, the ending is terrible!
Having said so many pickup techniques, what I really want to say is that pickup, or should I say speaking, is an art. After learning to speak, you will get more than just talking.