06:52) Feng Ming is walking along the street.
Star: That's not how the ball is kicked. (Make a word horse with braids)
Feng Ming: What are you talking about?
Star: when I say ball, I don't mean kicking D.
Feng Ming: So, how should I kick it?
Star: In short, the waist and the horse are one.
Ming feng; What is the waist-horse combination?
Stars:
What about the combination of waist and horse? That is, the late martial artist Bruce Lee, who will live in my mind forever, explained D.
But if you want to know more, then learn kung fu from me twice.
Feng Ming: What are you studying? You look like you're sweeping the floor.
Stars:
Sweeping the floor is only my superficial work, and my real identity is to study monks.
Ming feng; Study the wind?
Stars;
Engaged in the research work on how to effectively develop Shaolin Wushu. This is my business card.
Feng Ming: Shaolin authentic Omega Supreme Leg?
Star: Yes, it's amazing! !
Feng Ming: Kill you and find someone else. I have a higher education.
Star: Wrong! ! Look at that beautiful girl.
Feng Ming: What about the beautiful girl? I am a scholar. ......
Star: No, no, no, look, look, look. ......
(Pretty girl falls on banana skin)
Two people at the same time: yeah!
Stars:
If he could learn to fly Shaolin D, this would not happen. Look! So, martial arts is really, God! !
Hey, miss, are you interested in learning Kung Fu?
Pretty girl: crazy!
Stars:
Look at that lady over there ... If she knew about Shaolin D iron sand palm, Park Che wouldn't have to worry so much. So, martial arts is really.
Yes, ok! !
Well, madam, are you interested in learning? ....
Madam: Go, go, go there.
Feng Ming: Well, I also have this dime.
Star: Hey, don't be such a wet blanket! ! Look over there again
A worker tried to cut down a tree, but he was driven out because of inefficiency.
Stars:
If that worker knows Shaolin D and Nine Sword D, why bother?
Feng Ming: Nine swords of Dugu, that's Huashan's sword!
Star: Shaolin is the world's martial arts. Haven't you heard of it?
(Feng Ming pretends to be an old monk and flies to write the words authentic Shaolin)
Stars:
Kung fu is really suitable for men, women and children. Killing people is just a misunderstanding of it. Kung fu is an art and an unyielding d essence.
Jesus Christ. So I've been trying to repackage Kung Fu so that you stars can have a better understanding of Kung Fu.
Deeper understanding ......
Feng Ming: OK, OK! !
Star: I'm not finished yet.
Ming Feng:
Almost, almost ... I have a few more guests to see. Let's call it a day.
Star: Hey, will you seize the opportunity? The lame can also practice kung fu, D. ....
Ming Feng:
Crappy. What's wrong with it? Lame your mother, you idiot. What makes you say I'm lame?
Star: Sorry.
Feng Ming: Crappy? Yeah, I'm lame. What's the matter? Are you lame? Crappy!
Lame your mother! ! ! (Thrown out of the beer can, kicked into the sky by the stars and disappeared)
Feng Ming: What? What? Are you kidding? Afraid of you?
Worker: Do you accept this garbage? I won't give it to anyone else.
Star: Roger, Roger.
Worker: Take it quickly.
12:38
Hey, help me move the refrigerator up.
Star: OK, come on! (Kicking the refrigerator on it)
A: Oh! The legs are so strong!
12:55
Scrap station: twenty cents.
Star: Twenty cents? I have cups and plates here. ...
Waste station: good, good, a lot. Hwa, move it there! & lt！ -printpage.asp # # {$ bbslist} loop part->
Stars:
This is my sixth brother, who floats on the water with flying skills. This is the famous football coach, Brother Feng.
Sixth Senior Brother: Hello, Brother Feng.
Feng Ming: What is floating?
Stars: Lightness floats on the water.
Feng Ming: Hello, Mr. Wright.
Sixth Senior Brother: Hey, Senior Brother, are you going to play football?
Stars:
Yes, if you are as light as a swallow floating in the water, we will attack each other in two ways, which can be said to be seamless!
Feng Ming: Are you really so sure?
Star: Yes.
Feng Ming: OK, do you have any special diet pills?
Brother Liu:
It's no use. My brain sagged because of a cold. I have been fat since my master died. Let's not talk about flying technology now.
I can't walk fast if I want to.
Star: Fat is a little bit, but the problem is that,,,, is not big. ..
Brother Liu:
Forget it. Look at me, okay? You can't understand the feeling that you can't even get a girl since this happened.
Star: I see. Me too?
Sixth Senior Brother: No, newspapers and magazines all say that you have many girlfriends!
Star: No, what newspaper is it?
Brother Liu:
Sorry, I put my foot in my mouth again, so after this illness, I often lose control, so leave me alone and go.
Star: Brother!
Sixth Junior Brother: Huh?
Star: give yourself a little confidence, you can do D.
Sixth Senior Brother: Now everyone calls me Pig Feibiao, only you call me Junior Brother.
Thank you.
Customer:
Hey, pig, help me get that roll of red toilet paper off it! (Toilet paper piles up like a mountain)
It's a red roll. (pointing to the top scroll)
Sixth brother wanted to go enough, jumped hard and threw himself on the pile of paper.
32:36
Second Brother: Playing football?
Stars:
Yes, second brother. If your whirlwind gladiator legs are used for defense, I'm sure,
Feng Ming: No flaws ... (contemptuous)
Star: That's right.
Second brother: Look at my virtue now. I'm still beating my legs like a whirlwind.
Stars:
Well, it doesn't matter if you are a little rusty. As long as there is fighting spirit, martial arts will definitely come back!
Second brother:
But a while ago, I saw you still cleaning the toilet. Why did you wash the dishes again?
Second brother:
Why? I want to ask the same question. I don't understand why my father is not Li Ka-shing. Why am I so handsome, but
Want to lose your hair? You two are so ugly, but you don't lose your hair? Why did everyone else have books to read when they were young?
And when I was a kid, my dad forced me to practice what nonsense martial arts?
Practice until now, wash the toilet! Wash dishes! !
Stars:
Hey, second brother, calm down. In fact, fate is in our own hands.
Second brother:
Calm down? I'm not calm enough? If I don't calm down, I'll kill you two bastards with one knife. (raising a knife to cut) Calm down? Hum! !
34:23 (Roof of Times Square)
Ming Feng:
Wow! It's really good! Sparrows are small and complete! I didn't expect you to be a garbage man at the age of 59.
The roof lives in the sky! What a tasteful life! This kind of unit is very popular now. I looked for it for a long time, but I couldn't find it. Hey, here it is.
A cold air is a little noisy, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Hey! Can I put an extra room in your place? Hey! Hey!
(Sitting next to the star) Forget it. None of your other disciples is decent either. Just don't look for someone else.
Star: It's all my fault. I can't convince them.
Feng Ming: Don't say that. I thank you for trusting me, a cripple!
(Brother Wu Yusen enters the arena)
36:27
Ming Feng:
I will train you to be a football player in the shortest time. So you should unite seriously!
Star: I see, play football! (A big foot, football without a trace)
36:50
Fourth Senior Brother: Hey, the ball dropped! !
Star: Are you finally willing to come down? Let's wait for more than an hour!
Feng Ming: What are you doing?
Star: Kick the ball! ! !
Feng Ming: The ball is over there. (Everyone is chasing) (Blowing the whistle and calling for the stars) You, stand still! You shoot for me here.
.
Star: But the ball is over there.
Feng Ming: You know, the ball is over there. You didn't even touch it. What are you kicking? Alas! In fact, playing football is nothing more than four.
Basic: passing, stopping, intercepting and shooting. ..
Star: I understand! !
Feng Ming: Don't move! You should start with the basics.
Feng Ming: Yours, hey, yours. Control it!
Make a fake action, a little more fake, fake action is fake! More vacation, more vacation! ! !
Star: Coach, why don't you let me practice?
Feng Ming: Hey, your feet are too strong. You can't move back and forth freely. Kick the ball into the sky and get off the plane and you will pay the price.
Up?
Star: I can't afford it.
Feng Ming: Fatty Biao, let me borrow your eggs.
Sixth Junior Brother: Ah!
Feng Ming: You can control the eggs as well as the ball.
Star: All right, come on.
Feng Ming: Come on.
(The egg breaks on the foot)
Ming feng; It's hard!
(Six senior brothers have come from afar)
4 1:36
Ming Feng:
Well, the game lasted for 30 minutes without a break at half-time. Everything is based on international rules, and I am the referee. Do you mind?
Glasses:
Of course, Brother Feng, who was once called Golden Right Foot, took several young people to play several friendship games with us today. You will be the referee, right?
Our pleasure. Everyone is called Brother Feng.
Everyone: Brother Feng!
Ming Feng:
Hey, okay, okay, okay .. This young man has had some collisions with your players before, so he is going to play a game and learn about his skills.
The past grievances will be written off, very sincere!
Glasses:
From their neat uniforms and friendly eyes, I can feel their sincerity and sportsmanship. Thank you!
(drops a wrench)
Everybody relax. I repair cars myself. This wrench is used by me to twist things. Very reasonable!
Feng Ming: Yes, yes. ...
(Another hammer falls)
Glasses:
As I said just now, as an auto mechanic, it is natural to have a hammer around.
Ming Feng:
Come on, your team's style is very famous in the amateur world. I totally understand.
Glasses: Those are just empty names, just like floating clouds. ....
Feng Ming: OK, OK ... Be careful anyway! ! !
Star: Huh?
Feng Ming: Everybody shake hands!
There are bullets and bodies all over the stadium ... like the Normandy landing.
45:46
Stars:
Call base! Call base! We were attacked by intensive enemy fire! We need immediate reinforcements! We need immediate reinforcements! !
(The helicopter suddenly slams)
Feng Ming: Get up. Get up! ... get up! ! ! What are you doing?
Star: They are shameless, coach! ! Blow the whistle! !
Feng Ming: I am the referee. I don't brag!
Star: Is there a king's law? Is that fair? ! !
Feng Ming: (red card) You, come out! !
Ming Feng:
This is a test. If they can't even pass this level, don't play football in the future! !
Star: Just playing football. Do you think this is a war?
Feng Ming: The real game is fighting ...! ! !
The stars are silent ... the scene is in chaos
Star: Big Brother is back.
Feng Ming: What are you talking about?
Star: I feel it. They're all back.
5 1:4 1
Brother: Thanks to you, we have a chance to play.
Stars: Welcome to your place!
Brother: Thank you.
Ming Feng:
You're welcome. I want to thank you all! I am rich this time, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Glasses:
We give up, please let us join your team. Please, please.
Star: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! !
53:34
Qiangxiong: Who are you talking about? Dead cripple
Feng Ming: Why not?
Staff: I'm really sorry. ...
Ming feng; Little sister, you weren't born when I played football. What are you embarrassed about?
Qiangxiong: Golden right foot! Are you there?
Ming Feng:
Brother bear! Brother Xiong, I want to take my team to the game. Is it open? Does everyone have a chance to participate? ..
Qiangxiong:
Well, not everyone has a chance. I am the chairman of the committee. I said you have the right. Do you understand?
Feng Ming: Yes, yes.
Qiangxiong: What is your team?
Feng Ming: Come, come, call Brother Bear!
Team member: Brother Xiong! !
Qiangxiong:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, these are the best! ! ! I really want to see it. What's the story?
Feng Ming: This team is called Shaolin God. .....
Qiangxiong:
Whatever ... sign up quickly. I really want to see it. Is there a registration fee? I'll give it to you. Are you and I brothers?
, dead lame! Oh, my shoes are a little dirty again.
Ming-feng: White stains easily. ..
Qiangxiong: What should I do?
Feng Ming: I'll wipe it for you. I'll wipe it for you. ..
Star: I am good at cleaning. Let me do it!
People flocked: let me, let me, let me! ! ! (Take the shoes away)
Qiangxiong: This bastard!
55:27 Tian Xin mantou branch
Star: Hi!
May: What are you doing? Who are you?
Where are you taking me? Why don't you talk? I'm going back.
Star: Come on, come on. ....
(entering a shopping mall)
Worker: What took you so long?
Star: Sorry, just one second, ah! Soon!
(Ah Mui is dazzled)
Star: Give it a try.
A-mei: No, no, no, I'm looking at what material it is made of.
Star: Then touch it.
May: No, no, no, it will get dirty. ..
Star: Never mind.
May: No, no, no 。
Star: Come on, touch it. Come on, touch it.
May: No need.
(Hands pressed by stars on clothes)
Star: How about it?
May: It's slippery.
Star: I will give it to you.
May: Feel it.
Star: Hey, I tell you, I'm going to play football tomorrow.
May: Really?
Stars:
I'm going to hold up half the sky, d! ! ! But if you hadn't helped me fix these shoes, I wouldn't have played football.
Do you know how important you are to me?
Tell me everything you like! ! I'll send it to you soon.
May: If you are popular, give me a pair of sports shoes.
Star: This is no problem! ! !
But I think you should also be a little confident!
In fact, you are very beautiful, D, and you have high martial arts. It's perfect! ! But don't you always cover your hair ... Come on, come on, come on ... Look.
Look at me. Look at me. Look at me, look, how beautiful! !
(Attract a swarm of flies)
May: Really?
Star: Yes.
May: Oh.
The star slapped me.
May: Is it a fly?
Star: Yes, but not yet. (Another slap in the face)
May: Did you get it?
Star: I see.
May: I'm sorry for getting your hands dirty.
Star: Nothing! ! You are the most beautiful D, you know that?
May: Hmm. ....
Star: Do you really know?
May: I know.
Star: Thank you very much! ! Do you know that?/You know what?
Staff: Hello! Where have you been? You promised to help me wash the floor before I let you kill that girl down a peg or two. Don't look so long, I'll take the fall. Let's go
Live! !
Star: Hey, you go first, and I'll catch up with you later. (starts washing the floor)
Be confident! You are the best doctor, you know that?
58:4 1 stadium
Star: I like this dress very much. ..
Fourth brother: I like this sock very much. ...
Ming Feng:
Stop playing, son of a bitch. Haven't you seen a big scene? Relax and practice as usual. There will be a lot of audiences in the future.
Journalists, smile for the camera! They take pictures of us, and we should greet them warmly.
Team member: Thank you.
Star: Thank you! ! ! Thank you for your support! ! Thank you very much ! !
Big Brother: Hey, it seems to be mowing the grass!
Star (a slap in the face): Isn't the audience mowing the grass? Thank you! !
Worker: No-no-don't make any noise! ! !
Second brother: gnome male-". The venue is so small and empty, didn't you say so? ....
Feng Ming: Is it the same in the qualifiers? So we must work hard and play the final! !
Everyone: ok! ! Kick into the finals ! Kick into the finals ....
Worker: No-no-don't make any noise! ! !
Everybody: (whispering) Kick into the final! Kick into the finals
The broom fell from the sky and hit them on the head.
59:3 1
Fat man: Hum! Shaolin soccer team? Look at this, look at this, haha.
Look at that, look at that, hahaha! !
Second brother: Why? No smoking?
Fat man: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Start the game ... the star shoots and the ball goes into the net.
Star: Ah ah ah ah! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Fat man: Why? .. (to himself) No problem, it's an illusion.
The star shot angrily and the ball went into the net again.
Fatty: What are you doing?
Don't be afraid, it's all an illusion. It seems that our Tofu King Kong team will go all out this time.
The stars rushed up and they looked at each other.
Fatty: What are you doing?
Another goal ............................
Fatty: What are you doing? I want to play football.
0 1:00:52
Hello: Brother Xiong, telephone.
Qiangxiong: What? Forty to zero?
0 1:03: 17 Sweetheart Steamed Bread Shop
Star: Dear other disciples, from today on, we will say goodbye to this pile of rotten shoes! !
Attendant: Hey, can you stop littering?
Everybody: Sorry, sorry ...
Ah mui with heavy makeup
May: Hi! !
Star: ah mui?
May: Why?
Star: Wow! I can't believe you're doing this, d.
May: What?
Star: You think I don't know what you think?
May: Say what? Do you hate it? You ... (sitting)
Star: You can't scare me, D, I'm afraid of everything, so I'm not afraid of ghosts! ! ! !
May: What do you mean?
Star: Ah, ah, here you are. ..
A-mei: I think I am very different from my previous A-mei today.
Star: Yes, Ah Mui is a very confident girl now!
May: Well, I want to tell you something.
Star: What is it?
May: I like you.
Star: I like you too!
May: Is it love between us?
Star (one leng): You, are you kidding?
May: Really, I'm serious.
Stars:
Of course not love. We-forever good friends! Wouldn't that be better?
Ah mui:
Then you can come to me often in the future! If your shoes are broken, I can mend them for you.
Stars:
No, my shoes were broken, so I threw them away. Should we all move on? I will never wear out my shoes again.
Don't you do this? What, are you crying? Don't do this!
Ah mui:
I see, thank you. (running back) Come on, let's drink together! ! Come on, cheers!
0 1:06:3 1
Jade-faced Ssangyong: Our jade-faced Ssangyong is not the name of the waves! If you want to enter the finals, ask us first! (flying by)
Sixth Senior Brother: So soon?
Star: How about hanging the wire?
0 1:08:07
Feng Ming: Hello, Brother Bear!
Qiangxiong:
Come and sit down. Hey, you're lucky, you son of a bitch. I can't believe you found such a unique team. In fact, what are your iron achievements?
Breaking a big stone in the chest is the kung fu of a three-legged cat. It can actually break into the stadium. It's good! Cut the crap. On the day of the final, don't
Kicked! Come on, team!
Hey, this is not a bad check. You can sign the contract after receiving the cash.
Feng Ming: That's a lot of money. You can't spend it if you break your leg.
Qiangxiong: Of course! Are you and I brothers?
Feng Ming: Thanks Brother Bear, but I'm afraid I can't stand it.
Qiangxiong:
What do you mean, you think I'm afraid of you? Hey, I think that team is very interesting. Do you want to grow up together? Be an open-minded person and go forward bravely.
Listen, don't hold grudges, okay?
Ming Feng:
Brother Xiong, I really don't hold grudges. When I was young, I didn't understand. Everything has its consequences.
Qiangxiong: Don't play dumb with me. I've seen through you. Hey, are you greedy?
Ming Feng:
Really let you see through, not only me, but my whole team is greedy, but it's not this check, it's the national champion, see you at the stadium! ! & lt！ -printpage.asp # # {$ bbslist} loop part->
Tianzaixin mantou pu
Star: ah mui! ! !
Boss: Dead! !
Star: How did she die?
Boss: I killed him! ! !
Stars:
I don't believe it. Ah Mui is so good at martial arts that you killed her? ! She must be dead. D injustice! ! !
Wife of shop-owner: Then what do you want?
Star: I want to help her-revenge! ! ! ! (Break the door panel with one punch)
Wife of shop-owner:
Stupid! I'm just kidding you. She's not dead, but she doesn't work here anymore.
Star: Why?
Wife of shop-owner:
Alas, we clearly call this sweet steamed bread! I don't know why the steamed bread made by that silly girl is bitter and salty, and the guests don't come.
I was forced to fire her, too
Star: Bitter and salty?
Wife of shop-owner: Yes, ah, what's your name? What happened to her?
Star: Ah, never mind.
Boss: (whispering) Crazy! ! !
0 1: 18:55
Ming Feng:
A foul ball? Kicking the head is intentionally hurting others. How to make a ball certificate for a foul ball? Qiangxiong, are you playing football or hitting people?
Qiangxiong:
I'm hitting someone. How's it going? I'm going to beat your whole team just like you, crippled, crippled! Disable! ! !
Fight me!
Fourth Senior Brother: Sorry, everyone, I'm going to have a rest.
Star: Never mind D, just go, the spirit is always there!
Senior four put on sunglasses.
0 1:28:0 1
Referee:
Shaolin team, there are only seven players left. If there are no substitutes, I will stop the game and declare that your Shaolin team has lost.
.
Is there backup?
A-mei: Hey, that's me. I'm a substitute for Shaolin team, and I'll be the goalkeeper.
Star: How to make D look like an alien?
May: I can't cut my hair. Shave it off faster.
Star: What are you doing here?
May: I will help you play games!
Star: What can you do to help? Hurry back to Mars! The earth is dangerous, d.
May: I really want to help you. Trust me, let me try.
Star: No!
May: Really? Look, your shoes are all broken. Put this on.
A pair of colorful old sneakers.
Finally, Ah Mui used Tai Chi Kung Fu to help the Shaolin team win the game.
Shaolin kungfu can be seen everywhere on the street.
Building a huge billboard "Wulin lovers, set off a kung fu craze"