Hu Lancheng
I
Then I had nothing to do in Nanking, and I didn't read much of the books and magazines. But on this day, a Feng He Yi sent a monthly magazine of heaven and earth, and I felt that the name of He Yi was good, so I moved a rattan chair on the grass in the courtyard and read the book while lying in the sun. First, I read the release statement, and it turned out that Feng He Yi was also known as Su Qing, and it was difficult for her to write so generously. Turned to a "blockade", the author of Eileen Chang, I just read one or two sections, do not feel the body sit up straight, carefully read it over and over again. See Hu Jin people, I asked him to also see, he read the praise good, I am still in the heart insufficient.
I went to the letter to ask Su Qing, this Zhang Eileen fruit is who?
She replied that she was a woman.
She replied that she was a woman. I realized that whenever there is a sentence or a thing about Eileen Chang in the world, it is all good. The second issue of Tiandi arrived with an article by Eileen Chang, which is true. There was also a photo of Eileen Chang in this issue. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a good person or a good thing, but I seem to want to prove it over and over again, so I'm just happy to have a good time, but I don't want to ask what's going on with me.
Later, I asked Su Qing about Eileen Chang, and she said she didn't see anyone.
The first time I asked her for Eileen Chang's address, she hesitated before writing to me, it was Room 65 on the sixth floor of the 192nd apartment at the intersection of Hed Road, Jing'an Temple Road.
The next day to see Eileen Chang, indeed, I did not see, only from the doorway to hand in a note, because I do not bring a business card. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get a good look at this, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to get a good look at this. My home in Shanghai is in Daxi Road, beautiful garden, not far from her place, she really came immediately.
When I saw Eileen Chang, I realized that she was not what I had expected. She came into the living room, it seems that she is too big, sitting there, and childish and pitiful, to say that she is a schoolgirl, and even the maturity of a schoolgirl is not there. I am even afraid that she is living in poverty, and I think that the wartime culture of the original bitter, but she can not make me think that she is a writer.
Eileen Chang's top of the sky, the world has to be six vibrations, is my living room today became inappropriate. She was extremely concerned about clothes, but she is a newcomer to the world, the world has a variety of status of various prices of clothing, and for her the world of things have not yet pinnacle. She was like a seventeen or eighteen year old growing up, with her body and her clothes rebelling against each other. Her look, is a little girl home from school, walking alone on the road, belly in the thought of what matters, met the small classmates called her, she also ignored, her face of the kind of serious appearance.
Her is also not strong vitality, but also not seductive, but I think in front of her people. I don't even think for her is beautiful, actually does not like her, but also only afraid of hurting her. Beauty is a concept, it must be like this and that, even for the beauty of the favorite also has a stereotyped feelings, must be how how, Zhang Eileen, but my these all overturned. I always thought I knew what it meant to be stunning, but when I encountered the real thing, it was not that kind of stunning, and it was not that kind of stunning.
I actually want to fight with Eileen, criticizing her popular works of the day, and said that her article is good there, but also told me about the things in Nanjing, because in front of her, I was so clear that I have my own. I also asked her about her monthly income from writing, and listened to her very honest answer. The first time we met, people and is a lady, ask to these is rude, but to the good people, cherish the intention can only be concerned about her body and life.
Zhang Eileen also happy to just listen to me, sitting in the living room for five hours, she is also generally confused and ridiculous. My amazement is still before knowing her, so she likes, because I'm really unconditional. And she liked it before she knew her own feelings. This is strange, do not know do not know can also be soulmates.
Later, I sent her to the entrance of the alley, and the two walked side by side, I said: "Your height is so high, how can this be? Only this sound to the two said so close, Zhang Eileen was very surprised, almost revolting, but really very good.
Two
The next day I went to see Eileen Chang. Her room was so gorgeous that I was disturbed, the furnishings and furniture was simple, and not very valuable, but it was priceless, a modern fresh and bright almost stimulating. Outside the balcony is the whole Shanghai in the sky cloud shadow day color, under the tram dangdang come and go. Zhang Ailing today wearing blue silk jacket, with a young yellow rimmed glasses, the more it seems like the face of the moon. In the Three Kingdoms when Tokyo was the most prosperous, Liu Bei to Mrs. Sun's room was even timid, Eileen Chang's room is also like such a military atmosphere.
I also sat in her room for a long time, just talk about the theory, a moment and talk about my life, and Eileen Zhang will just listen. Men and women happy, a dance like, a fight like, and China's old-style column carved on the men and women even dance, that brutal and spirited, but also like Xue Rengui and the Princess of the war in the two armies met in front of the battle, the dance is also like a fight. Folk songs and men and women in the difficult, storytelling and love to listen to Su Xiaomei three difficult bridegroom, Wang Anshi and Su Dongpo is a political rival, but the folk said to say that Wang Anshi public chrysanthemums on the Huangzhou and tea in the gorges of the two pieces of knowledge convinced the Su Bachelor, the two people of the fellowship is very lively, better than the political rivals much better. I have always been with people also do not compare, also do not fight, but now see Eileen Zhang to fight.
But I used all my weapons, not as good as her hand. Zhang Eileen's grandfather Zhang Peilun and Li Hongzhang's young lady with marriage, is a famous story, because I said, she copied her grandmother's poem to me to see, but said that her grandmother is not how to do poetry, this one is also her grandfather to change the work. The first thing I did was to ask my grandmother to write a poem for me, and she said that her grandmother did not know how to write a poem.
Zhang Ailing said, she heard that I was imprisoned in Nanjing, but also moved the idea of pity, and Su Qing went to Zhou's house once, want to have any method to save me. I heard only think she is childish and ridiculous, a kind of surprise but also better than gratitude. I did not even compare to compare Zhang Peilun that year, because now a moment worth a thousand pieces of gold, grassy even touched with the comparison are not work.
I went home and wrote my first letter to Eileen Chang, and even wrote a new poem like the May 4th era, generally childish and ridiculous, Eileen Chang was also surprised, I still think I am good. It is Eileen Chang's reason, so that I later think about to feel embarrassed. But I said in the letter that she is modest, but the road to her, she wrote back that I "because I know, so compassionate.
Since then, I must go to see her every other day. Only went to see her three or four times, Zhang Eileen suddenly very troubled, and bleak. A woman who loves someone will have this kind of aggression. She sent a note, told me not to go see her again, but I do not think there will be anything in the world will be offended, that day still go to see her, and she saw me also still happy. I have been able to see her every day since then.
Because I talked about the photo that appeared in "Heaven and Earth", she took it out and gave it to me the next day, with the following words written on the back: "When she saw him, she became very low, very low, low to the dust, but in her heart she was happy, and flowers blossomed out of the dust." She sent this photo, like Wu Jiza gift sword, according to my own example to speculate, that Xu Jun is also but love, but may not have to mean. Eileen Chang is aware of my favorite, you both love, I said to give you, I put the photo to you, I am also happy. And I only accepted it calmly, without being mesmerized. All kinds of feelings and thoughts can be just a good, the realm of this good word is still in the feelings and thoughts of the first, but there is a meaning, not the meaning of what, and even the joy and sadness have not yet been named.
Three
I went to Nanjing, Zhang Eileen letter, I received in the hand like a stone, is such a weight, but not a sense of responsibility. I also do not think much, just become a love song. Every time I go back to Shanghai, not at home, first go to see Eileen, stepped into the door and said, "I'm back."
To the end of dusk, I came out of the Ailing, to the beautiful garden home, before going to bed, but also Qing Yun accompanied me to talk back, Qing Yun think I'm always a good uncle, Ms. Zhang is not more than an ordinary woman. A night I came out from Ailing to Xiong Jiandong home, Jiandong couple and friends in the game of cards, I watched at the card table, only to feel fidgety, full of heart, want to whistle song, want to talk, even the lights are to laugh at me.
I often go back to Shanghai once a month, live on eight or nine days, morning and night only to see Eileen Chang, the two companions in the room, the male abolition of farming, the female abolition of weaving, with the road to go out to play do not want to, and there is no work. The old play Shen Guisheng can be accompanied by years and months in the room of the nun Zhi Zhen, not even think of honeymoon travel, it seems to be true.
When the two of us are together, we just can't stop talking. In front of Eileen, I want to say something like a raw hand playing the huqin, hard work, still do not have the right word, the sound of silk and bamboo also changed to the sound of gold and stone, their own chagrin and annoyance, and every time to say and change, change and regret. But Irene like this kind of stimulation, like listening to the Shanxi Bang Bang's brain marrow to smash out, and listen to me talk, everywhere there are my people, no matter what is said, Irene also feel like "climbing strip picking fragrant flowers, words are happy breath".
Irene all kinds of make me not accustomed to. She never compassionate, not sympathetic to anyone, compassion and charity, she has nothing, her world is not an exaggeration, and there is no one aggrieved. She was very selfish and ruthless. Her selfishness is a person in the festivals on the occasion of a big scene, their own existence is very clear. Her ruthlessness is because she can't take a little bit of aggression. And yet she is very submissive, submissive in that she is willingly joyful. And she has more than the world's sorry, sometimes feel like doing wrong, regret, her regret is as the earth to the spring sun, swallow's soft words of discussion.
My pedantry in the stereotypes of things, Zhang Eileen gave me a fresh surprise but still in the judgment of right and wrong first. Old novels often have people to the fairyland, see the rare birds and exotic flowers, many do not know their names, Ailing's speech and behavior and I like ice and charcoal, every time I do not think, even she showed me her paintings, but also with my expectations are not right at all. But do not have to wait until later to recognize the joy of admiration, is not initially recognized, even the joy of admiration has not yet been formed, the heart is more or less with the kind of rebel surprise, but also very good, and I just rely on such a good feeling of pungency and confusion, for the unrecognized things are also recognized, she asked me to like her paintings, had to answer yes, Ailing was very happy, but also to tell her aunt.
I am a person who has been trained in thinking, and I have to pass all things in theory before I can recognize them. I showed my thesis to Eileen, but she said that this system is strict, not as good as the dissolution, I also really dissolved to drive everything like an army, it is better to let everything return to the field, all the way to have a laugh. I am also banned by the terminology, rich and powerful I am not afraid, but I am timid about the authority of the public academic community. Once I even dared to say that the Dream of the Red Chamber and Journey to the West is better than Tolstoy's War and Peace, or Goethe's Faust, Ai Ling but flatly replied, of course, is the Dream of the Red Chamber and Journey to the West is good. Altair and Vega meet at the magpie bridge, and before the whispering is finished, the sky suddenly dawns, and even the pleasure has become a hasty one. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and then you'll be able to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world.
Ailing and I are the ones who have been talking to each other all night long.
So just focus on men and women love, accompanied by a few days, the two are strained, and then I went to Nanjing, so that she also have the work to write articles. And every little goodbye, but also no sadness, but like a festival of lights, the ordinary day to turn feel a kind of new meaning. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it.
Four
Christ said, "Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God." Nowadays, people are divided into different categories, but Eileen Chang taught me that there are no taboos. The world does not die in the martyrdom of evil, but in the martyrdom of good, how good things if the witch operculum taboos, it is not good.
I heard people often say that the student era is the happiest, but also asked Eileen, Eileen is not like school life. I also think that childhood is necessary to nostalgia, she is not nostalgic. In my opinion, it is the feelings that should be, in her are not such should be. She also told me, with a straight face, that she disliked her parents, that she lived alone, that she had a brother who came to visit her occasionally, and that she was indifferent to all of them. This and I do greatly opposed. But the Chinese civilization is the original people line in the five Confucian five, not people belonging to the five Confucian five, and the place of Confucianism for thousands of years not to be revolutionized, is because with the twenty-four filial piety at the same time can also have peach blossom women and Fan Lihua.
Folk watching theater, love to see with the eunuch fighting the peach blossom woman. I also like Fan Lihua, who killed her husband and father, but the world of the Tang Dynasty still wants her to be so beautiful and capable. Nezha was a little boy who made a big mess by turning over a river, and his father, fearing that he would be implicated, tried to punish him for being born, but Nezha was so angry that he returned his mother's flesh and father's bones, and then the Bodhisattva Guanyin made his limbs out of lotus leaves and lotus roots. The first time I saw this was when I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley, and I was a student at the University of California, Berkeley.
Eileen is her people new, like wearing new clothes for unclean especially eye-catching, there is a little bit of fog or obscenity she immediately felt. Liaozhai Xiangyu, the man said to Jiangxue: "Xiangyu my favorite wife, Jiangxue my greasy friend." Ai Ling is very displeased. And I gossiped with Ailing about the few cultured people I knew, and Ailing could see that the man was unclean and unintelligent as soon as she shone her eyes. I listen to her every time, I can not help but people than their own, more or less to be alarmed, but there is no way to check up.
I praised Ai Ling's room, she said it is still her mother's layout before going abroad, if she herself to decorate, she loves the exciting colors. Zhao Kuangyin described the rising sun: "want to come out of the light hot tart, thousands of mountains such as fire hair." Ai Ling said the stimulation is like this hot tart glorious color. She read the Golden Lotus and Mei, Song Huilian's clothing group she paid attention to, I asked her to see the obscenity of the place whether she felt stimulated, but she did not. She loved to read the tabloids, many of the evil and foul pretentious sentences she laughed and scolded, while still reading; there are wonderful words, the wonderful words on the tabloids are often also poor language, a little bit of Ai Ling's sympathy, but she relayed to me to listen to, she is also such a happy and funny. No matter what she is reading, she is still just herself, not with the people in the book with the sadness and happiness, clean as if not stained with red dust.
Even for the good things, Irene also do not get involved. She wrote the article, many new school women read, deliberately want to learn her characters and can not, but Irene herself actually do not like such characters. Irene can and Jin Ping Mei in the Pan Jinlian Li bottle, but never sympathize with them, and the Dream of Red Mansions Lin Daiyu Xue Baochai Phoenix Qingwen attacker, and even Aunt Zhao and so on, but never want to take any of them to compare themselves. She is also so to the book or the current men. She is a stranger to the spring flowers, but also do not fall in love with a person.
I thought I could look down on the kings and lords, but there is still too much gratitude, Eileen is not once so, even if the other side is the god of the day, she can also see him clearly in a small place. Common people's feelings, even me, often condone the gentleman, do not condone the little man, on things also, but never the tragedy is made by the good people, and many good things also only see its destruction, because that good original limited, is with disease, in fact, unforgivable or should not be forgiven. Eileen is very harsh to good people and good things, and to the little man and ordinary things, but also this strict, she is really equal. Irene is like a child, so she does not like children, puppies and kittens, she is not close, and even to the little angels, she also has no good feelings. Once she moved the book printing white paper back, to the apartment door to pay the car driver a small bill, she felt very shameful and afraid, rather than more, the money to the car driver's hands, hurriedly fled up the stairs, not even dare to look at the face of the car driver. Chinese people also say that the eyes of a child are the most pure, and that if he smiles in his sleep, it is the Bodhisattva who is teaching him, while if he is sometimes frightened for no reason, it is because he has seen something ominous and unclean. Eileen Chang did not study current affairs at all, but she and I said that the Japanese pop song is very sad, that is to say that Japan is going to die, at that time I did not even dare to tell Ikeda, if he knew, he should be very shocked and cry bitterly.
Five
Eileen Chang liked to smell, and she liked to smell the smell of paint and gasoline. She drank strong tea and ate greasy, cooked and rotten things. She rarely buy things, but the head of the meal is not stingy carve, and every day must eat snacks, she adjusted herself like a red-billed green warbler brother. She had money to buy clothes and rouge and powder. When she was a little girl, she had a text published in the newspaper, got five dollars, the adults said this is the first fee, should buy a dictionary as a souvenir, but she immediately took the money to buy lipstick.
Her mother is the end of the Qing Dynasty, Huang Junmen Miss, Westernized beautiful woman, from childhood to train Ailing to be a lady, in the end, gray heart. Her mother taught her how to smile, Ai Ling is not smiling, a smile is open mouth laughing, or a single happy smile, even she forgot to smile, a little silly. Irene described herself to me as being very happy with this kind of hopelessness. And said: "My mother taught me the posture of a lady walking, but I always walk in a rush, in the room will be three days or two days bumped into the corner of the table and chairs, the skin on the legs is bruises, I use red potion to rub a big hitch, aunt every time to see a shock, thought the injury is bleeding to so." She said and felt very happy.
Ailing showed me her mother brought her two strings of glass beads from Egypt, a string of blue, a string of iridescent, I immediately felt that I was a boy, look down on this kind of girls' things. She also showed me her childhood compositions. At the age of fourteen, she wrote a "Modern Dream of Red Mansions," which was bound into two manuscript volumes, beginning with the story of Qin Zhong and Zhi Er, who eloped to Hangzhou by train, fell in love and got married, but had financial difficulties, and were angry and sad, and later on the story of Jia Mu, who brought Bao Yu and his sisters to the West Lake to watch the water games and eat ice cream. I was shocked when I first read it, how can it be such a scene-stealer, but she wrote it with a real rational clean.
Eileen Chang is a person who makes people look at her all sorts of bad, she will never cater to you, you have to cater to her more than ever. You use all the stereotypes of beauty and evil to see her always see her impervious, like the Buddhist scriptures say can not be thirty-two phases to see Ru Lai, her people that is such a God light clutch. Occasionally, some cultured people come to her here barely sit back, only to feel that she can not be forced to see, can not stay long. The good thing is not to call people all safe, but to call people a little uneasy.
She did anything, as if in a major undertaking, look at her walking look is not trivial, she is even flick a needle, or open a can, but also a face of justified serious. People are accustomed to do things, although absent-minded can also be done properly, in her are very hard, and refused to have a little accommodation. But she also actually contacted the writing two not to lose, with money also budgeted properly. She handled things in her own way and was not bullied. A road encounter with yakuza rob her handbag, scramble for a good time was not taken, and once yakuza rob her hand of small steamed buns, half of the ground, half of which she still took back.
I am in favor on the silver money, always people owe people, Ailing is the two finished, everything is like a knife cut off clearly, always without delay. She lived with her aunt in a separate room, and the two of them are not worth every penny. But she also know herself, but also have the nerve to say to me: "My aunt said I'm a money grubber." Said laughing, very happy. She and Yan Cherry rare street together to go to the coffee shop to eat snacks, but also must first say who pays the bill. Yan Cherry is an Indian woman, very playful, she has the ability to say that the coffee shop owner Jews also soften the heart, less count her money, Ai Ling told me about it and very happy.
Ailing's money for life, reminding me of the first day of the first month of the hour with a red head rope braided up a string of money, are Kangxi Daoguang white shiny copper, but also have this joy. I laughed at Eileen: "Some fathers give their children tuition fees, complaining that my money is all blood, or that it is blood and sweat." Ai Ling heard very helpless, laughed: "My money blood is not, is the sweat of the money only makes it difficult to make a person's heart, it is not so delightful."
Ailing every money, there is a kind of justification, is generous and thrifty, are not the slightest exaggeration. Once talking about a friend's house, she said, so many valuable things are not good, no joy, I have seen, I just feel that I would rather not be rich. Eileen lived in the apartment, the neighboring room is a German, stingy call even bad joke, Eileen said: "Westerners are stingy, although they will invest in the construction of large projects, but also willing to pay for charity, in the end, also do not know there is a virtue called generosity."
Six
Ai Ling never worry about hate, to cry a lot of times she told me that there have been two times, one time is around the age of ten, for a man, but I can not remember is that Ai Ling hated him or like him and lost, and then cried. Another time was when she was studying at the University of Hong Kong, a year of summer vacation, as if because of Yan Cherry did not wait for her to go back home to Shanghai, she usually did not want to go home, but this time she fell on the bed and cried and shouted. She is accustomed to depicting her article in the sorrow and light complaints, the pulse of love, quiet tears, she would rather be like a sunny day falling white rain.
She said: "You said there is no sadness, I think I am, but last time you went to Nanjing, I actually want to be sentimental." But in the end she is not a person who will be lingering and sentimental. Another time she wrote to say: "I thought, you will just come and go here in the future can also be." She was thinking of marriage on the head, do not know what to do, but also no longer to think about it.
I asked Eileen about her thoughts on marriage, and she said she didn't imagine it. She also did not want to fall in love with anyone, and even the pursuit of her people seem to have not, if so, about her also do not like. Anyway, it's still early, and when it's time to get married, we'll do it, and we won't be picky. A man with ambition can be generous about getting married or not getting married, and she is a woman, but she can also do the same.
But she never expected to meet me. I have a wife and family, she did not care. She was not jealous of the fact that I had many girlfriends, and that I even had prostitutes for fun. The first time I saw a woman in the world, she was willing to be like me. And even if she and I were not always together, the only thing that separated us was that I was alone in the room, and she went to the kitchen to get tea. The two of us in the place, others only half to get to go, and half to not go.
I and Ai Ling is also just a man and a woman in love, the song of the night, called "happy", really better than to say love. Two people sitting in the room to talk, she will only focus on looking at me, not winning the joy, said: "How are you so smart, the Shanghai dialect is knocking on the top of the head, the soles of the feet will also ring." Later, I read an ancient saying when I was killed in Yantang Mountain: "A gentleman is like a sound", I could not help but laugh. She is so happy to be surprised up, will just ask: "your people are real? You and I so together is true?" But also must be my answer, but made me very stiff. Once I heard Ailing said that the old novels in the "lust for death" sentence, I was shocked, and praised a good sentence, asked her in which old novels, she was also strange, said: "This is a common ah." The fact is that she was so happy that she was so confused that she actually thought that there was such a ready-made phrase.
But I've never seen anyone like me like her. I've never seen anything like it. Whoever met with Eileen Chang and talked to her, I thought she was a big deal, and I wanted to hear what they had to say about how beautiful she was, but they weren't even used to commenting on it. Her articles are loved by everyone, like watching the light market, which can not be regarded as a kind of vast to forget the soulmates, but I think they can not be energized. I'm facing the same beauty of the world with them, but only I am alarmed, to hear the chicken dance.
In July, the Japanese Yu Heng Jun came to Shanghai, I talked about Eileen Chang, he wanted to know the face, I replied that I can not be invited to see also have to ask her first; Xiong Jiandong several times to say that the banquet invited Eileen Chang, I have to accompany to see her, I have to give her refused. I only introduced Ikeda, and every time he met with Eileen, I was there, as if I had undertaken a major event. Ikeda said that he regarded Yanzakura as his sister and Ms. Chang as his sister, and that she was more of an adult than he was. I think it's a good thing that I'm not a big fan of the idea.
I'm just like this with Eileen, but also in the world there is like the mountains are not tired of high, the sea is not tired of deep, mountains and the sea almost can not be a child's love. Both of us have rarely thought of getting married. But Ying Di divorced me, and we got married. I was thirty-eight years old and she was twenty-three. I for the sake of the future changes in the current situation will not involve her, did not hold a ceremony, only to write a wedding book for the final, the text said: Hulan Cheng Zhang Eileen signed for life, married, I wish to make the years quiet, the world is safe and sound.
The first two sentences are written by Eileen, the last two sentences I wrote, written next to Yan Cherry for the matchmaker.
Although we are married, it is still like we have never been married. I refused to make her life a little changed because of me. The two of us are not like husband and wife in any way, but still a golden boy and a jade girl.
Seven
The world knows that evil things often have great power, such as clouds of evil, will be shocked to separate the top of the door bone, blasted away the soul, do not know that the good things can also have great power, which makes a person straight to see the life, but also have such a shock. In the Buddhist scriptures, it is described that when the Buddha appeared, the world was shaken by six kinds of 18 phases, just like the vibration of a thermonuclear bomb being dropped. However, the power of evil is to frighten, to be surprised is to be terrified, and to make people small, whereas the power of good things is like the power of auspicious forests and phoenixes, and the power of surprise is to be amazed, and to make people soar. Only when good things also exert great power can the great power of the evil spirits be turned into good. But Westerners only found God, their people are still burnt offerings of sacrifices, less than the Chinese can see straight life, who blocked the front, although Sakya can also be a stick to kill, such as Han Gaozu's Chopping Snake to open the path.
When I was a child, I was a flower, water is water, see the moon on the gable end of the thought, and people and things are clean to the sentiment is also rational. Big up by the Western spirit of the impact of Chinese civilization, because I insisted on the mind, want to learn good upward, listen to the theory, and fabricate feelings in order to be in line with it, and in turn got a glass in the Dream of the Red Chamber Jia Baoyu is seriously ill, the monk came to say that will be medical, the attacker, etc., to bring him down with the psychic gemstone to hand it out, that the monk took the jade in the hands of darkness and indifference to the cloudy, do not feel a long sigh said, under the green terrier peaks, don't come for fifteen years, but even So for the greed, anger, love and obsession trapped, you that the nature of the light where also! I read this section, looking back, really want to cover the tears.
I'm here in Eileen, is to re-see myself and all things in heaven and earth, modern China and the West can be just a sea feast and river clear. Journey to the West in the Tang Monk to get the scriptures, to the Lei Yin, crossing the river on the boat when a little public put him a push, almost fell into the water, qualitative look, the head of the upper reaches of the flow down a corpse, he was surprised to say, how to Buddha land also has a dead person, the walker replied to the master, that's your karma, congratulations on the liberation. I was also surprised to see my own corpse here in Irene. If I didn't have her, I wouldn't have been able to write "The Years of Mountains and Rivers".
The two of us in the room, like "mirror before and after the flowers, flower face to face", I live with her and the same training, the same fate with the same phase, the same see the same knowledge. Irene is extremely colorful. But she is also magnificent, often there is a stone breakthrough. She is completely rational, rational to the same as mathematics, it is just like this, not with the theory of logic, her stunning the four seas, like the mathematical straight, and her colorful also like the mathematical infinite. I'm not accurate where it is exaggerated, accurate where it is poor and insufficient, so every corrections from her. The former said that couples are like tuning the piano, I am from Eileen to adjust the strings of the correct column. When I was in Hong Kong, I bought Beethoven's recordings and did not like it, but Beethoven is called the saint of music, so I must not be able to do it, so I listened to it diligently every day, trying to make myself understand it. And I learned that Eileen was nine years old from the age of piano to the age of fifteen, I was about to be pleased, but unexpectedly she said that she did not like the piano, this statement made me feel lost. And since I studied in middle school, I disdained Beijing opera, Shaoxing opera, pop songs, etc. It was only after Irene pointed it out that I realized how good it was, and that I originally liked it. University" said: "the so-called sincerity of their intentions, do not deceive themselves, such as evil odor, such as good color." I am only now having myself.
Ailing read the most modern Western literature, the two in the room, she told me every time, like "eighteen drawers", Zhi Zhen nuns move out of the food to invite the lover. She told me to listen to George Bernard Shaw, Huxley, Sanmao Themang, and Lawrence's works. She always said, "But there are limits to their benefits," as if she had blasphemed me into listening. She didn't think I was deficient in English at all, but rather she was more careful to apologize to me. But she was not interested in the Western classics; Shakespeare, Goethe, the Russians (or was it the Soviets?), the Russians, the Russians, the Russians, the Russians, the Russians. --Shakespeare, Goethe, Russia (or Soviet Russia?), she also does not love. Anything grand in the West, such as their murals, symphonies, revolutions, or world wars, is overwhelming, and in fact not good. Ai Lingning was only fond of a little bit of modern civilian spirit. Tolstoy's "War and Peace", I read the moving place she was not moved, she was in the absence of a story to see that there are a few sections of good description. She will not be coaxed to accompany people to sing and cry, because her feelings clear to that is rational. Even Ying Di and I divorced the day, I went to Eileen with tears, Eileen did not sympathize.
I never saw Eileen buy books, her room is not a pile of books. I have never seen Eileen buy a book, and there are no books in her room. I brought the Book of Songs, the Poetry of Lefu, and the Poetry of Li Yishan, and she returned them immediately after reading them. I borrowed from Ikeda Japanese panel paintings, ukiyo-e, and Saichon's albums, which she liked, and Ikeda said to give them to her, but she didn't want them. When I asked her about the pieces of clothing she described in her article, she looked at them in the store and did not buy them. I felt sorry for her, but she had no regrets at all. Ailing is like a stranger in the Qin Luoshi, Yu Linlang Hu Ji, no matter how the other side of the moving, she is only good intentions, and do not have to love.
She was so obedient to me, and did not change her mind for my sake. I often sent a burst of discussion, and then think about it is not right, and she said: "according to your own look is good, please do not be affected by me." She laughed and said, "Don't worry, I don't follow or don't follow, although I don't follow, but I still love to listen." She this everyone ah, really like the heavenly way no relatives.
A person sincere intention may not be able to smart, but "want to be sincere, the first to its knowledge, to know in the material", to be smart and then can be sincere intention, knowledge is still in the first. And can not be to knowledge to the material, but the material is still in the knowledge of the first. Gratitude is completely a heavenly opportunity. Ai Ling is a person like heaven, so her materialism and knowledge is hard for me to reach. Ai Ling's intelligence is like a crystal heart and a glass person. I thought I could show off to her in Chinese ancient books, but I didn't realize that she was also stronger. The two of us sat side by side and read a book together, and the sentences in the book were like pedestrians on the street who only greeted her, but I was really happy that I was with her. Read poetry, I think she may not like the great elegance, do not want to poetry is also serving her, there is a read only the first two lines: "noticeable clouds and Han, show back in the sky", Ailing a shock, said: "ah! It is really a drought year." And nineteen ancient poems read: "Yan Zhao has a good man, the beauty of the face like jade, was dressed in Luo clothes, when the household to clear the song." She was surprised and said, "How chaste, that's a prostitute!" And with the same look at the son of the night song: "Where does the joy come from, the end of the color of worry." She sighed: "This Duanran is so nice, and she really loves him!" I realized that I usually read things that I thought I understood, but in fact, I did not understand.
Irene does not read theoretical books, and even dislikes history. But I still read one of her essays on clothing, and only since the early years of the Republic of China, many of the major events see face to face to know, and she wrote this article also write clothing just write clothing, do not use the environment to illustrate the times. Ai Ling is where her knowledge that is with the world of all things in the light of the heart.
Eight
Eileen Chang is the Republic of China world of water and flowers. Read her article, just think she knows everything, in fact, she has experienced very little of the world, but everything in this era will come to negotiate with her, as if the "flowers to the shirt, the shadow falls in the pool". Early one morning, I walked with her to the beautiful garden, on the west side of the road, trees, cars, stores, pedestrians, Ailing heart joy, and I said: "Even if there are a thousand modern things are not, in the end, it is ours, and our pro."
Ailing's mother is still in Nanyang, aunt has returned from Europe first, working in Jardine Matheson, one day she talked about Berlin during the war, I do not know how to destroy, because of the streets of Berlin, I asked Ailing, Ailing replied