Performed by: Qizhi Dabing
Okay, here's a new one for you
The name is "Confused Magistrate"
Hong Kong is the magistrate in ancient times
Personally, I am quite obsessed
But once I have the money, he will not be obsessed
Begins
There was a night when someone shouted out a complaint
Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong...
It's a double bill.
The night someone cried foul
Dong dong dong dong dong...
Injustice ...................
Injustice ah Injustice ah Injustice ah
Raising the Hall ......
Mighty ......
Laimi ......
"Duh. Who is harboring injustice?"
"It's me, Zuma."
"Mozi to solve?"
"Cow folded (lost) daiga." That... Why didn't you report yesterday? Why didn't you report yesterday?"
"My lord, you are wrong. My cow was stolen by Li Si next door. Not only did he steal the cow, but he also bit my nose."
"Summon Li Si to the hall. How dare you, Li Si, bite Zhang San's nose?"
"I'm sorry.
"I can't even reach the roof of the house."
"Don't argue. I'll go on the plane tomorrow and try it out myself. If I get my own nose, I'll give you a life sentence.
Now I'm going to announce the censorship news, the plaintiff, Zhang San, invites me to have lunch, and the defendant, Li Si, invites me to have dinner."
"Which one of you wants to have a meal, sir?"
"I have nothing to worry about, but I have to worry about the plaintiff and the defendant, and I have to worry about the waves of the Yangtze River, and the waves of the past are dying on the beach."
"Master, we are both dead in your hands, and I know that you are a rat, and if you want to rule in favor of me, I will give you a gold medal."
"I will give you a gold medal. "
"Master, master, master, I'll give you a gold coin too."
"Duh! How dare you take a bribe? You're guilty of bribery, and you'll forfeit both of your gold coins. I'll tell you the truth. I'm indeed a Hsu, but I'm not a Hsu. I'm the land of the bag of gold, so give me a shot at the gold bag of gold."
2. Qizhi Dabing's comic double act "Haiyan"
Qizhi: It's good to see you all again
Dabing: I have a request for you
Qizhi: What is it
Dabing: I don't want to talk about the comic
Qizhi: What do you want to do without it
Dabing: It's no fun to talk about it
This is the first time that you have to do this.
Qi Zhi: How is the comedy not interesting
Da Bing: I do something else
Qi Zhi: What do you do
Da Bing: I want to get back to hosting like
Qi Zhi: Hosting you have the conditions, you do not have the conditions you.
Dabe: I have conditions, (interrupting)
QiChi: You have conditions, look at the "" beautiful parents...
Dabe: I want to get back to hosting like that.
Soldier: I'm pretty
Qi Zhi: You're pretty
Soldier: You look closely, but also said I look like Tang Guoqiang.
QiChi: I don't think I look like Tang GuoQiang,
DaBing: I look like that one
QiChi: Tang SiLang, the fourth son of the Tang family.
Soldier: What Tang Si Lang, I have good diction
Qi Zhi: Your foundation is good
Soldier: I have a foundation
Qi Zhi: What is your foundation
Soldier: I, I, I can read aloud
Qi Zhi: What
Soldier: Recite
Qi Zhi: You have to say the words, read them aloud
Qi Zhi: You can say them aloud
Qi Zhi: You can say them all. Say the word, recite!
Soldier: recite
QiChi: recite
Soldier: recite
QiChi: , ron, ron
Soldier: ron, ron
QiChi: ron, ron
Soldier: ron, ron
QiChi: ron, then you I can't teach you.
Brother: Recite (softly)
Qi Zhi: Recite this Gorky's Haiyan, let's see how your foundation is
Brother: Mainly the tone is good
Qi Zhi: Look at him, not only is his eye small, but also upside down.
Soldier:Sea>>>Yan
Qi Zhi:What are you shivering about
Soldier:Look at your word, that recognizes, ghost!
Qi Zhi: I'm not good at writing, but you don't have to shiver
Soldier: Gorky is on the sea
Qi Zhi: Alas
Soldier: What's he doing there
Qi Zhi: You're the one who put him there, and he went there
Soldier: The stormy winds have gathered the dark clouds. It's going to rain a da
Ki Chi: There's no such word
Da Bing: Between the dark clouds and the sea, the petrels are flying proudly like black lightning. Funny enough
Qizhi: What a mess, you have to be a program host, you read out that poetry, you have to read out the tone of voice staccato, punctuation to be able to.
Da Bing: I forgot to read the punctuation
Qi Zhi: Again, again
Da Bing: Hai Yan, Gorky on the sea
Qi Zhi: You didn't read the punctuation, so you always read Gorky on the sea.
Soldier: comma
QiChi: Alas
Soldier: the winds rolled the clouds, another comma between the clouds and the sea, a comma
QiChi: Alas
Soldier: the sea oats are like black lightning, you see the annoyance, only to the comma
QiChi: What is only a comma
Soldier: the sea oats fly proudly
Soldier: the sea oats fly proudly
QiChi: the sea oats fly proudly
Soldier. Fly high
QiChi: Don't read it
Soldier: full stop
QiChi: It's a hell of a thing to come across such a one, and to be the host of a program. I'll read it to you, just like I said. Haiyan Gorky, On the vast ocean, the winds rolled in dark clouds. Between the clouds and the sea the petrels were flying proudly like black lightning.
Soldier: It's a bit of a rhyme
Qi Zhi: Come on, perform it again
Soldier: Please enjoy the double act, Gorky's Petrels
Soldier: The Petrels Gorky, On the vast sea, the winds rolled in the dark clouds. Between the clouds and the sea, the petrels, like black lightning, were flying proudly. One moment its wings touch the waves, the next it arrows at the clouds, and it cries out, the cry of the prophet of victory. Let the applause come thick and fast. Look at this stupid duck, he's not dancing, he's just reading, taking a sauna and getting a massage.
Keith: Come on out, you're a crooked-lipped monk.
Thank you.
3. Double Reed "Radio"
Introduction: Today we two perform a double reed, talking about this double reed ah can be interesting, it requires one in the front of the performance while doing the action, the other in the back of the line, from a distance ah, with a person, which requires the two performances to be very good understanding, very cooperative, or else the double reed would not be called a double reed. Hurry up, hurry up, make up, as the saying goes, people with clothes and horses with saddles, people are not beautiful until they become, after this person arrives, we look at it, it's not as good as not to become it! Next, we'll bring you a new piece called "Radio Station", I hope you'll like it! Then the two of us will begin to perform!
Du Du Du Du Du Du Du just now the last ring is Beijing time - can not see clearly! Nanning City Hali oil radio station, anchor two hundred and fifty-five, in the broadcast regardless of the three sevens and twenty-five, drop the flavor stereo has now begun to broadcast. Hello listeners, I am the radio host, my name is boring, although I and the famous host ignorant name is very similar, but in addition to the appearance are very outstanding, there is nothing the same place. Good! Now please enjoy Song of the Week, why is it called Song of the Week! Why is it called "Song of the Week"? It means that there is a girl who switches to a guy every week! Please enjoy the Chinese ballad sung by Zhao Zhixiang, a famous singer in Nanning. Hey ！！！！ （I'm stuck on you, what are you singing? You're Chinese ballad ah!) This is a Nanning ballad! Who taught you that? It's my coy! It's not hygienic for you to learn this song! Right? You say that some songs on the radio and TV are ridiculous! Why don't you sing something healthy?) Nanning City, Ha Li oil radio station, the following is the advertising time, the happy brand insoles series of advertisements: my child since the foot odor, there is anorexia, picky eaters, do not grow, but also easy to catch a cold phenomenon, how to do, with the happy brand insoles all good, not anorexia, picky eaters, grow taller, resistance to enhance the happy brand insoles, ah! It is really practical and convenient! My friend, you want to eat baked sweet potatoes? Do you want to eat baked sweet potatoes? Baked sweet potatoes are fragrant, cheap, and rich in vitamins A.B.C.D.E.F.G. wholesale location, sunrise plaza corner nooks and crannies! Friends do you need toilet paper! Please use our field production of scratch pain brand sand! Do you want to lose weight? I'd like to introduce you to a set of the most innovative weight-loss exercises! Stretch out your hands, take them down, take out your tongue, and stretch them a bit! Prepare to rise! As the saying goes, a hundred steps after a meal can live ninety-nine, a cigarette after a meal is a god! I'm an immortal! I'm going to heaven! I'm going to die! You come out!
A: (put down the cell phone)
B: The transportation is convenient, the car is fast, the old companion will soon come home, the glutinous rice flour I am ready, just waiting for you to come to the pot. The fire is burning, the oil is boiling, and the aroma of the happy lumps is floating inside and outside the house.
A: (take eat)
B: Ouch, so hot! ...... really delicious. Also eat a ...... oops, ...... also eat a, oops, also eat a, oops, also eat a ......
A: (hot can not stand) stop stop stop, you want to burn me!
B: Didn't you say that Huanxiuotuo is delicious? I want you to eat more.
A: It's just been fried, and it's burning my mouth!
B: Well, I'll take care of it.
A: Again, pay attention. (Clapping)
B: After eating the happy pile, I also want to drink wine, Jingshan Huifeng wine, taste really good. There is no one to accompany? I'll make a call to my son.
A: (cell phone)
B: Hey! Son, can you come back to drink with me? An? Your mobile company in the creation of provincial civilization unit, busy that? Then forget it, I drink to the bucket mirror!
A: (put down the phone)
B: I first wipe the mirror clean. Ha, ha.
A: (ha breath, wipe the mirror)
B: feelings shallow, add a tim, feelings thin, drink Coke, feelings there, drink white wine, feelings thick, drink height, feelings good, awkward bowl to engage, feelings deep, a mouthful of clear!
A: (appearing drunk)
B: Drinking bowl after bowl, drinking bowl after bowl. Uh, this tongue is ...... is Lang disobedient? The earth is really ...... really spinning! The sky ...... is still ...... full of stars! Alas, to ...... be relieved!
A: (clip urine shape, get up and go)
B: a catty of wine, as usual, go, crooked to the door, pull open the door on the hands. The first time I saw this, I was able to get a good deal of money out of my pocket.
A: (back to the original seat)
B: Come on, keep drinking! Drink white wine and drink beer, a cup of a cup down to the belly ...... only to hear his wife roar: it is the one who defecate urine into the refrigerator! Oops! I just went to relieve myself, open the door, is to see the door there is a sensor light in the head of the grin ......
A: (pulled out of the B) uh uh uh, may not be my drunken how a ghost!
B: It's not human to drink too much and urinate into your pants!
A: You say this, seriously affect the image of modern farmers!
B: I'll pay more attention.
A: Again. (Clapping)
B: It's a very lively New Year's Eve, with couplets posted in every house and firecrackers set off by young and old. Now the city is not allowed to firecrackers, our township is still open. I told the son to play with the Sun Wazi that Xiongcannon, with me to bring quite some son back, I took out to play with Luo!
A: (took out a lighter)
B: you Langs eliminated the side of Ka, this whip is very loud!
A: (point whip, throw whip)
B: hiss ......
A: (cover ears)
B: Ba! Interesting, one more.
A: (points whip, throws whip, repeats twice)
B: hiss ......, hiss ......, hiss ......
A: (after there is no hissing, puts the whip check up and look)
B: Baa!
A: (fell to the ground)
B: abducted! (took out his cell phone and dialed) 120? Please hurry to Yuanyang Creek in Green Forest Town, an old codger was injured! (Will A back up) you since the heart is not enough, why drink and set off firecrackers ah! (back a under)