2. Why do some people ask for dozens of items when looking for someone? My mate selection criteria are three words: please.
I don't know if I am awesome, but when someone tells me that "the earth will turn after you die", I feel that the earth is persisting.
I tell you, the society is different now, and I am getting worse every day.
5. "As long as you give me a bed, I can sleep until the end of the world!" "How about the coffin!"
6. The collapse of young people begins with employment, the collapse of middle-aged people begins with borrowing money, and the collapse of old people begins with learning to dance square dance.
7. It's agreed that I won't be wronged a little, but more than a little.
8. Remember, dear, the good-looking one is coquetry, and the ugly one is called wild!
9. The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: sleepy in spring, sleepy in summer and sleepy in autumn!
10. My wife suspects that I have a mistress outside. I was so angry that I wanted to yell at her, "You are so suspicious!" As a result, I accidentally said, "You are so redundant!"
1 1. In fact, real rich people are very low-key, and their appearance is invisible. Take me for example. Although I often ride a broken bike to the streets, who would know that there is an electric car at home?
12. There is a thin girl and a fat girl. The fat girl asked the thin girl, "Where are your eyes skinned?" The thin girl said, "Born." Next, the thin man asked in surprise, "Where is your double chin made?" How beautiful! The fat girl said calmly, "It's made of meat."
13. It is said that girls are made of water, and they are gentle and won't lose their temper. Me too, but I'm Sprite, so I have to hold it. I can't shake it or drop it, or it will explode easily.
14. "When someone praises you for your good looks, how do you keep a low profile?" "What? Speak louder, I can't hear you! "
15. I wanted to buy a down jacket, but I spent more than 3000 yuan. Later, I weighed it carefully, and the cold medicine was only a few tens of dollars. It's still cost-effective to buy cold medicine.
16. The teacher visited the home and asked the students: Is your family happy? The student proudly replied: happiness! Father came and slapped him. "Boy, who told you to change your surname!"
17. Give seats to beautiful mothers and little girls on the subway. Mother said: Daughter, thank uncle quickly. I said to the little girl, don't listen to your mother's nonsense. I'm still young. Come and call my father.
18. I asked my son why he smoked secretly. The son said meaningfully: Because I grow up, I want to find a woman who is worth quitting smoking. I haven't recovered from this obsessive-compulsive disorder for a long time Fortunately, my wife appeared in time and said to her son in slippers, don't look, in fact, I have been with you.
19. Someone just said that he liked me, so I deleted him. God, he said that he liked me in September. He must be trying to trick me into going to his hometown to break corn and cut beans.
20. I asked my wife why she is a wife. Second-rate wife replied: you are a bitch, I am your wife, referred to as wife! Is that how it is explained?
2 1. Blame others for judging people by their appearances. After all, the heart is too far away and the face is in front of us.
22. I envy you ugly people. If you are lovelorn, you can at least say "Who made me ugly" to comfort yourself.
23. Don't hate being fat. You eat every fat on your body. Come on, what do you have to complain about?
24. Don't be lonely and miserable because of life's failure. Look at the friends around you. Isn't it because they are all the same that we get together?