The last four or five days have been particularly bad. I can't even sleep with sleeping pills, and I can only sleep for two or three hours a night. My mood is especially low, and I can't be happy, so my smile has become my luxury. I didn't want to do anything, including the things I was interested in before, such as reading and writing, but I just wanted to lie down and swipe my cell phone unconsciously, knowing that my eyes hadn't fully recovered, but I couldn't help it. I knew this could only get worse and worse and had to change.
So I went out to play mahjong, in the process of playing mahjong, the heart is still anxious, can not enjoy the moment, just to improve the attention, to kill time; to find friends to talk about, to seek their help; want to play a job, life is full, so as not to be all day nonsense; but the current x situation, there are jobs have gone home to the house, not to mention that I'm at this age. Then I thought of the volunteer group I used to be a member of, but then I quit and wanted to rejoin. I thought that when I was volunteering, I could help others and enjoy myself, plus I would be happy to stay with a group of volunteers and talk and laugh. But according to my friends, the current situation of the x-affairs, the volunteer activities are also less.
In fact, the time I was sick was very bad, and the x-affect was so serious that I couldn't go anywhere. And I can't stay at home with this disease, I have to go out and spread it.
Auntie Cai is a wise old man, she knows that I'm not in a good mood, I don't sleep well, and she guides me from time to time. Here are a few of her words that I summarized.
1, Being a man is not comfortable, being comfortable is not a man.
2, do not give a hint that the body is not good, always say they are not good, treat yourself as a healthy person.
3, negative information do not always hang on the mouth, the more you say, the more difficult to forget. Do not talk about it, it will pass in a few days.
4, do not be obsessive about things, be open-minded and optimistic.
5, the mood to be cheerful, the mood of a depressed, blood on the silt. A silt body will be out of trouble. The heart wide body fat, contentment.
6, in life and work, do not be afraid of difficulties, dry is.
Another sister, Z, once suffered from major depression and had a brush with death. Before that, when she was sick, she also looked for me to tell me, let me out of the idea, because I am an old insomniac. Now that she has come out of it and is very sunny, this time I was really helpless and approached her. z is really a very nice person and it is soothing to hear her cheerful words. She gave me ideas from her experience and thought of taking me to the third hospital (mental hospital). I can't help that my health X is yellow X at this time and I can't go in and out of these sound centers. Just wait until the yellow X turns green. When I was depressed and wanted to cry (liver depression), she talked with me until midnight. And said that when I get well, I will stay at her house for a while.
After she came out of this serious illness, she became very transparent. She is a very good ballroom dancer, and she dances every night in a place with a good view. She has a small group and lives a colorful life. z said that after staying at her house, she would let me follow her around.
She gave me a few suggestions: 1, don't be afraid of insomnia, when you can't sleep, take a deep breath and let yourself relax, and slowly fall asleep.
2, what is all smoke, the dust to look down.
3, give yourself a good hint. To say to yourself at times: I'm sunny, I'm beautiful, I'm happy. The mood is bad, but also to keep smiling, although this smile is pretending, but pretend a long time, false also become true.
4, in the place where there is landscape shouting, shouting out the depression.
In the days of depression, I am also thinking: 1, I am not open-minded about people and things, love to be entangled, can not let go, which is the reason why I ended up in this field. Of course, there are also reasons for menopause.
2, why I am prone to depression when I have insomnia? People have been suffering from insomnia for years and decades and are in better shape than I am. That's because I fear insomnia from the bottom of my bones. Because insomnia is too painful, and insomnia can lead to aging of the face. I care too much about my health, my appearance, or the obsession runs deep. And insomnia is a disease that I can't control, and I'm afraid of what I can't control. Insomnia makes me panic when it lasts long and I tend to dwell on negative emotions. But when I know how to manage stomach problems and pelvic inflammatory disease, I don't take it seriously. So I have to overcome the fear of insomnia and face it openly. Besides, as we get older, sleep will naturally decrease. To look at this problem scientifically.
The following are a few of my thoughts on this matter. 1, mortals always have obsessions, only the depth is different. 2, the first time I saw this, I was able to see it. 3, the second time I saw it, I was able to see it. The first thing I'd like to say is that I don't know how many people will be able to see through life and death. But time will make you let go of those obsessions. For example, AB, although this time x situation is serious, but I am not as afraid as at first.
2, living is a happy thing, because I am living this day, is many people want to live but not on, to cherish ah! At the same time alive there is hope. Everything will pass.
3, more to do less thinking, a big grin over to live at ease.
4, life is unpredictable, who knows what tomorrow? But I want to live every day to live happy, have quality of life, so to overcome it. And hopefully it will be the last time it bothers me.
5, Facing and accepting is also something I have to learn.
Yesterday afternoon, I was strolling around Rushui Park with my friend, and I shouted at the lake a few times, and I felt that my chest was clogged up with gas, and it came out through my mouth, and my frustration dissipated a bit, and I didn't feel so bad. In the evening, I talked and laughed with my son for a while. When I went to bed, I took sleeping pills and only slept for three hours. After waking up, I tossed and turned in bed for an hour, so I didn't care about it, I didn't force myself to fall asleep, I lay flat on my back and took deep breaths, not to mention the effect, and I slept off and on for another two hours or so. It added up to five hours, and I only slept two hours the night before, so I've made a lot of progress. In fact, I know that I still have psychological insomnia, how can I sleep without relaxing? It's just that it's not easy to overcome this psychological barrier.
The human world is miserable, but the human world has warmth, spring flowers, fall and moon, sunshine and stars, food and beauty ...... so it's still worth a trip. Keep up the good work!