Wang, Ou, Tian and Qian
Wang: Some people often say she is fat
Ou: What do you mean? She is not fat at all
Tian: She is more voluptuous
The guest: Thank you for your help
Ou: I've seen much fatter ones
Wang: This is not comforting, but is called pouring salt on the wound
Ou: Really, then put it in another way
Wang: She is not fat, but very fat
One episode of the show is about a man who has been in the same situation.
Ou: really ah then change the expression
Wang: people are not fat is very fat
A certain program invited a number of advertising stars, one of the Taiwan girl's hair looks a little curly burst feeling, it happens to be Ou Di is similar curly hair, he helplessly said: "you look at our hair to know, Taiwan region more thunderstorms! !"
Female guest: "I only like Erkang."
Ou Di: "But I'm not Er Kang, my ears are not healthy at all."
Ou Di with a sword: I see it I get hungry.
Wang Han: Why?
Odie: I was wondering how much meat it could wear!
Wang Han: Dear viewers, hello, you are now tuned in to see your favorite Turbo, cough cough, day ...... day up.
Wang Han: Dear viewers Hello, you are now tuned in to see your favorite Turbo, cough cough, day ...... every day up.
Ou Di: With 20 years of experience in hosting the gold medal host Wang Han actually jammed on his own program, big brother, you're going to be deducted for this episode.
Wang Han: I'll wait and let the director cut this part out.
Wang Han: I'll wait, let the director cut this part out and it will be fine.
Ou Di: cut it out and deducted more, these lights ah, props ah, the stage ah, all have to come back again, how much money will be spent ah.
Qian Feng (picking up the pieces of paper on the ground): Especially this ribbon, look at the top of the spray so much gold dust, very expensive.
Qian Feng: I guess we can't get any money for this issue.
Wang Han: Then don't cut it, let's try a little bit harder this period, add back the money deducted ...... Ou Di, you dance first, add some money.
Ou Di: big brother you said wrong a word on the deduction of five hundred dollars, I dance once only twenty dollars, you just speak wrong so much, is not it want me to die of exhaustion.
Wang Han: You can add as much as you want, and I'll figure out the rest myself.
Ou Di: Then let's all jump together, I'll do the demonstration in the front, and you follow along. Han, your old man will not jump,
If you jump wrong, we will have to stick money to the director for this period. The remaining five people together, just enough to add a hundred dollars.
Wang Han: Miracle ah, Ou Di life for the first time to calculate the right two-digit multiplication. 20 x 5 = 100.
Tian Yuan: Big brother, you're wrong, Ou Di is so counting, the 20 split into 2 and 0, first with 2 multiplied by 5 to get ten, and then add more than a 0. Can not be fully counted two-digit multiplication, do not believe that, you test him one other try.
Wang Han (quickly): 30 times 8 is how much?
Wang Han (quickly): 30 times 8 is what?
Odi: (loudly) 210.
Tian Yuan: 3 times 8 is what?
Ou Di: 21.
Tian Yuan: 3 times 7 equals what?
Ou Di: 21.
Wang Han: Others are "no matter what", but Ou Di is "no matter what".
Qian Feng: To be precise, it should be "Ou Di is 21 regardless of whether it's 37 or 38".
Wang Han: Ou Di, you actually miscalculated on the program, after the program is over, the three seven twenty-one copy fifty times to the director, otherwise, be careful of the director to open you.
Ou Di (scratching his earlobe with one hand): director, I'm wrong, kids, I'm wrong.
Qian Feng: Then Ou Di you dance to apologize to the audience.
Wang Han: What kind of dance are you going to do, Ou Di?
Ou Di: I'll perform a parody.
Wang Han: Imitate who?
Ou Di: Imitate an idol that I admire very much, Chow Yun-Fat, Brother Fat.
Wang Han: You are too far away from him, what can you imitate him?
Ou Di: I sing a song, on that very famous "Shanghai Tang", when I was in high school was very popular an adapted version. Wait a minute, you guys help me with the accompaniment.
Wang Han: Okay, everybody back up a little bit. I'm not going to be able to do that.
Ou Di (wearing a black trench coat and sunglasses, with his fingers in the shape of a gun)
Music.
Odie: "Run naked ~"
Wang Han, etc.: "Stomp"
Odie: "Run naked ~"
Wang Han, etc.:
The river will never rest
The river has been cleaned out
Mixed into a torrential tide )
The back of the laughter of a large number of people, Wang Han: stop stop stop, Ou Di don't sing, you sing on, we will be the program will be the General Administration of Radio and Television directly cut off.
Qian Feng: Ou Di, you sing this in high school? Taiwan's high school students are just too talented.
Wang Han: What's the name of this song, why haven't I heard it before?
Ou Di: Naked Run on Shanghai Tang
Tian Yuan: What would happen if you go to Shanghai Tang and run naked? Or, what would happen if you sang "Shanghai Tang Naked Run" in Shanghai Tang?
Qian Feng: It will be shot by Fat. (Fingers in the shape of a gun aimed at Odie) Bang~, 'hoo~', (blow on the index and middle fingers).
Wang Han: Why is Odie always pulling down our show? Let's skip this cheap shot ~ next we're going to introduce the guests for this episode.
Qian Feng: They are the talented Kham Kung Ming, the jade tree is like Pan An, a tree of pear blossom pressure begonia, beauty and wisdom, the might is incomparable, the magic power is boundless
Ou Di: They are the embodiment of heroes and chivalry, flirtatious but not nasty, sexy but not offensive, lovely but not lose grace, beautiful but not lose the quiet
Tian Yuan: In order to maintain the peace of the world, in order to prevent the destruction of the Earth, they traveled to the world. the earth from being destroyed, they travel through every corner of the earth, who are they?
Wang Han, they are from ......
Wang Han: When I was a kid, I wanted to be a police officer, raise your hand. （
Wang Han: Tian Yuan, why don't you want to be a policeman?
Tian Yuan: When I was a kid, I was obsessed with martial arts novels, and I wanted to be a warrior in the jianghu, to fight for justice, to rob the rich and help the poor.
Ou Di: robbing the rich to help the poor, that is not to be a thief? No wonder you're so long now.
Wang Han: Qian Feng wants to be that kind of police?
Wang Han: "I want to be a sniper, a top-shooter, a shooter".
Wang Han: Then why didn't you become one?
Tian Yuan: Qian Feng's head is too big, all of a sudden the enemy's head.
汪涵：那欧弟你怎么没有当成呢？
Tian Yuan: Ou Di is not good at math, Ou Di said, report sir, the three teams are all present, each pair of eight people, the total **** is three eight twenty-one people.
Wang Han: Ou Di, what is the real reason?
Ou Di: height is not enough
Qian Feng: when the police height seems to be not so strict, as if almost 1 meter 7 can be.
Ou Di: Yes, but the same results, they according to the height from high to low record, the turn of my just out of the quota.
Tian Yuan: I can testify to this.
Wang Han: and what do you have to do with it, what do you want to do to testify ah?
Ou Di: You did not take the test with me, how do you know?
Tian Yuan: once, I and Odi to participate in a speed dating activities, because there are more people, the organizer said, "everyone to maintain order, do not mess, men according to height from high to low in line, maintain order ah ~ ~ the results of the stage, the girls, from high to low down to pick, the turn of the Odi, when the following has been no one.
Odie: So Tian Yuan married his current wife, and I'm still this way.
Wang Han: What is this look like.
Ou Di: This is what it looks like.
汪涵：（语重心长地）欧弟，你放心，我可以理解，这事包在大哥身上。
Ou Di: Han, what do you want. Although I know you may be interested in me, I don't want to marry a man. Even more so, I don't want to marry an old man.
Wang Han (pointing to a girl on the guest table, the girl wearing a cake dress, holding flowers): cake girl, come up, give you a chance.
(Note: Cake Girl is a professional actress) embraces Odie, then shakes hands with Wang Han.
Wang Han: Introduce yourself.
Cake Girl: Hello everyone, my name is xxx, from xx province xx place
Wang Han: Do you like Odie.
The cake girl: like.
Wang Han: How long have you liked it
Cake Girl: Since the first day of Tian Yuan's broadcast.
Tian Yuan: love at first sight Oh, dear viewers, this is the Tian Tian Zhan marriage agency, you are watching the wonderful program prepared by Wang Han, China's first matchmaker.
Wang Han: What do you want to say to Ou Di?
Cake girl kneeling on one knee, offering flowers: Ou Di, you marry me ......
Ou Di kneeling on both knees: such a big gift do not dare to be, do not dare to be ~ (Cake girl also kneeling on both knees)
Wang Han: two people listen to the command, a worship of heaven and earth ... ...
Ou Di (pointing to the flowers): What is this?
Cake girl: a bunch of greens surrounded by a rose.
Wang Han: Any special meaning?
Cake girl: was only going to send a rose, but then in front of the TV station just happened to buy vegetables, so I bought to decorate.
Wang Han: Ou Di, big brother to say a fair word, to marry a wife should be married so handy, and so virtuous.
Ou Di: This green vegetable seems to be a little bit not fresh.
Wang Han: The studio air conditioning is too cold, it shrinks.
Ou Di: This is a very special flower, thank you, I'll take it first. The first to get up (two people stood up) (assistant on the scene took the flowers)
Wang Han: Assistant, send the flowers to the kitchen, tonight, additional dishes. Han:Next, we want to have some passion~~
Audience:Oh~~~(up tone)
Han:It's just a quarrel~~
Audience:Oh~~~(down tone)
Han:I find your mentality so interesting .... (-_-! It's not even you who brought it out...)
Ou Di:You are a brutal, no principles, you .... You have no thought,no feeling woman!
Ke Qun: you roll ~ ~ (continued orchid finger)
Ou Di rolled back after, said: I rolled. The first thing you need to do is to get a good look at the movie, and you'll be able to see what's happening.
Kegun: I ....
Ou Di rolled back for the second time: I rolled again. The first time I've seen this, I've seen it.
KQ: It says (staring at the board) I don't want to talk to you anymore! But you're rolling pretty well, and I kind of want to talk to you. ......
涵哥:其实他们学校也很厉害的，出了四个名人..... Piggy! Luo Zhixiang! Ou Di! Ou Han-sheng! (涵哥真厉害,两人能整成四人!)
Another installment of the program: Ou Di: our school really out of a lot of celebrities ah! The first, Ou Hansheng; the second, Ou Di; the third, Ou Xiaodi; the fourth, I myself .....
The first one, Ou Hansheng; the second one, Ou Di; the third one, Ou Xiaodi; the fourth one, I myself (more powerful, can be one person into four people)
涵哥对上台跳太空步的观众说:你这也叫太空步?
Tian Yuan: This is called "too horrible" right? Space step is too wrong ....
$ Han: our daily brothers can not lose! Happily ...... We are bound to lose today .... (Laughs...)
$Guest:Sheep diet must be good.
涵哥:那你那里的羊是吃是中草药,喝的是纯净水,拉出的是六味地黄丸! The sheep are directly into the medicine...
涵哥:你那里能产多少头羊啊？
Guest: more than 30,000 head.
田源:那是不是有吃不完的羊肉串啦! (exclaims)
涵哥:田源我们要把眼光放远一点.
Ou Di: Yes, listen to Han!
Ou Di: Yes, listen to Han!
涵哥:烤全羊！！！！
Ou Di: then we have to shave down the wool first, make it into sweaters and sell it, then roast ..... The first thing you need to do is to get the money to pay for it!
$The insistence of the Tian Tian Brothers is: never Qi! Tian Tian Brothers after a very messy dance .... Han: dozens of people can make a dance feel like one person dancing again, that is great! But a few people can make a dance feel like dozens of people dancing again, and that's even more awesome!
$ Han curiously asked the foreign guest (female): Why is your country called ~~~?
Guest ((((((()))))))) translation: she said she is not sure, she asked: then why China is called China?
涵哥很郑重的回答:Because in the past, our ancestors wrongly believed that our country was the center of the world, so we called it China. But! We now also know that in the future our country will definitely be the center of the world, so we are still called China! (At that time when I heard Han say this I really wanted to shout: great!)
Ou Di to the beautiful MM: that you mind a long not too tall and also a little black boy to do your boyfriend? (Alas! The most said is this.... It's obvious that they are talking about themselves!)
涵哥:亲爱的观众朋友! You are now watching is still your favorite: large etiquette public morality entertainment talk show (recently seems to be the whole of the prefix of fifty words) (said together): Turbo Tian Tian Xiang Shang!
Qian Feng: Huh? He has bang in his name, so he is called bang bang! Then Ou Di called Ou Zi, Han brother called Han Zi, Hao Ming called Ming Zi, Tian Yuan called Yuan Zi ......
田源:那你就叫疯(枫)子!
Qian Feng: I just seemed to have moved a stone and smashed my own feet ....
Haoji:Happy! Happy! I'm so happy! (Said while also doing that classic action.)
Koji: I like to drink water, and pure water; I like to drink milk, and pure milk; so ....... I am very pure oh!
MM:Suppose he is handsome!
涵哥:什么是假如 ah? It's a very hurtful thing to say. He would have been very handsome!
MM:Oh! What if he was handsome?
Tian Tian Brothers: No way! You have to praise him a little!
MM:Uh~~~~~if..... If ..... Suppose .... Let's assume .......
Tian Tian Brothers:Forget it! Don't give her a hard time...
Ou Di:I'm not good at math because I don't think it's useful! What are some of the things you can use math for?
涵哥:数学用了很广了. For example, nowadays high technology: Shenzhou spacecraft launching, rocket launching, and TV ah .....
Ou Di: huh?
涵哥:你看到那电视的遥控器上的数字了吗？ Doesn't that use math?
Odie:Oh!
Ou Di:Oh! What about the rocket launch?
涵哥:你没看那电视直播时有一個声音在喊:5.4.3.2.1发射吗? That's where the math comes in!
Ou Di:I am very serious to warn you oh! My height is one meter seven two ah .
When I'm in a bad mood, I go to see Tian Tian Xiang Shang, really like it, if you also like Tian Tian, that means you have a vision,; if you do not understand Tian Tian, then hurry to see thi! I believe that you will like it... Oh... See this line to know! I think Ou Di is too talented, and so humorous, hehehehehehe ...... Take a picture of him in style!
Han: I am the limit of human beings, you are the bottom line of human beings!
Ou Di broadcast: audience friends! Here is the commercial time, go away right now, don't come back! (The original version is: come back right away, don't go away!) (Talking about Han's beard) Han: I am the brother of Tarzan of the Apes ..... People are too good!
Ou Di:Wow! Qian Feng, are you sick in the head?
Tian Yuan:Don't say that, the prerequisite for a sick brain is a brain.
Ou Di: Then he has no brain!
(Play rock-paper-scissors, Han explained to come out of the cloth, only Ou Di Han out of the scissors) Ou Di: how only I obedient ah? The first time I saw him, I was so happy to see him, but I didn't want to see him!
Han: Where is it? I'm also a cloth, but I'm two feet, you're five feet...
Ou Di:Huh? Five feet! You're the one who's shameless. .....
Han:You can even hear this!
(Han is going to lower his waist) Group up:Ah! Han don't... You are old bones! Han insists on getting down... Odie: Han. Han. Don't do it! Don't you ........ Don't don't do it ah!
Of course, Han went down to his waist, and it was down to his front.... Ou Di said it was down to the stomach
To act out that couple's scene, selecting actors from the audience, Han pointed to a male audience member and said: ugh! That boy in the red vest!
The boy is very Happy to stand up, Han came to a: that wear red vest boys you do not come up ..... (Then Han's head turned to the other side to call a girl) Han: do not look at her youngest, but she is the highest taste in their group! Because...the host she looks up to the most is me!
Ou Di: But, Han, what's the connection?
Han:It's just that she said it's a bit old. -_-! That's why she'll choose to marry Odie when she marries.
Han:So guess what model they are?
A certain viewer:Demon (waist model)! Han:Wow! You are the Monkey King reincarnated right? Fire-eyed golden spirit ah .
Han:She is a lip model, we applaud her to perform different lips. First, the stubborn lips...the cute lips (female model is performing), the angry lips...
Ou Di: Another rabbit lips ~ (hard enough!)
Ou Di:Wow! Qian Feng learns ostrich so wonderfully! It's such a shame to let him be a human being...