Yesterday on the toilet poo, vaguely remember that I have brought paper towels ...... after pulling, turn the pocket to find that it is a wet paper towel ...... puddle or super strong mint flavor ...... minus 5 degrees of winter. The winter, cool all day.
Talking to my cousin on the phone, I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he replied, "No. I'm not sure if I have a girlfriend, I'm not sure if I have a girlfriend, I'm not sure if I have a girlfriend. I'm not sure if I have a girlfriend yet, but I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone else's girl." I was shocked! This is such an important thing to tell his parents, he is an only child ah. The grumpy uncle immediately went to the school to whack him, just now on the phone he furiously yelled at me: "Sister, I said is the direction to go! I'm not going to be able to do that."
After marriage, I am very frugal, used toothbrush are not thrown, put in a cup, sometimes there are some small stains on the sink directly with a toothbrush brush on the good! Simple and convenient! The bristles of the brush exploded after a long time! Then once my brother came to my house, went back, sent me a large pile of toothbrushes, and call me: Sister, toothbrushes are brushed with fried bristles, not good for the teeth, you threw it ......
A couple sitting in the living room of their own home, the husband said: "I'm going to go to the bar to sit for a while, you put on the coat! on." The wife is surprised and replies, "Why? Are you taking me with you?" The husband replied, "No, I'm going to turn off the air conditioning."
I was born in 89. Today in the unit with a few colleagues in the chat, suddenly a more than 50-year-old colleague emotionally and I said "Wang ah, people live as long as there is no disease and no disaster is blessed, and I used to work with my colleagues are sick no, they are quite young, and how unfortunate." I ...... I ...... whether I want to change a job or not.
Confessed with the goddess, she said: "You are twenty centimeters away from me, do not have to head and hands and feet if you can touch me, I agree to be with you". At that time, I listened to the mood stirred, so I took off my pants, found a little worse. Then I had the bright idea to pee all over her. I just want to ask the giant friends, this situation in the end is not considered to have touched her, I'm afraid that she next time to see me do not recognize the account
I last night on the way from work, suddenly saw a boy wearing a hat in the fight with people, the back is very familiar, and then carefully identify, that is not my son? I rushed over and grabbed him: "Brat, not home from school actually fighting with people on the road!" He read 10 pages the day before yesterday, 5 pages yesterday, and 8 pages today. I was completely baffled ......
morning work, see a buckle whizzing past, behind a row of small letters: see my taillights even if you win. My hot temper, a foot throttle on the chase up, finally after three kilometers managed to catch up with his ass. tmd, taillights are simply bad well, a foot brake, I did not even notice. I don't want to talk about it, but the insurance company is coming to fix the damage.
The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, she was actually reading a book. I asked her why she was so diligent. She said: "to color things, color failure and grace." I asked what it meant, and she explained, "Every day I send selfies, and my friends are tired of seeing them. So I'm going to post paragraphs and be a cultured tart. "
Classic quotes: fried! We all instantly messed upBecause of the single, my friend is quite anxious for me, gave me a trick, at night, go to the square to accompany the aunt to dance, and they are familiar with them, it is very likely that they will be the daughter ah, niece ah, nieces and nephews, ah, introduced to you. I went to try, not to mention really effective, today there are really a few moms asked me, there is no object! Then said a sentence: the! A big man's square dance, deserve not to find a girlfriend!
These two days a little cold, mom and lazy, after dinner is watching TV. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it," he said. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get it right, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get it right. Mom: "That's good, wash the dishes!" I: "......" So, the tragedy of the silent dishwashing. Mom again: "cold?" I: "Cold." I thought that mom really heartache me ah. As a result, the mother: "Good, then wear a glove wash it, by the way, the pot is also washed."
With the roommate occurred a contradiction, noisy a few words. As a result, people's husbands ah brother or whatever came to me and asked me what? What is there to quarrel, said what to hear others say I manage too wide. Originally I did not want to pay attention to him, a little bit of a small thing, heard this sentence to temper, what do you mean listen to others say? I'm not sure what I mean by that, but I'm not sure what I mean by what I'm saying. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it," he said.
In the morning from the toilet out, just met the manager, the manager looked at me: you wear who's uniform? I was shocked, hurriedly said: Lao Liu is not off duty today, my wash did not dry, so wear his. I asked: How did the manager see out? Manager a glare: nonsense, you come out of the toilet, index finger and middle finger rubbing hard on the uniform, their own surely can not spare!
Cousin thirty-something unmarried, home was an 80-year-old uncle forced to ask: others this age are married and have children, how you are still single? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that. Cousin unbearable, directly back to: in your age many people are dead, why do not you go to death? ...... cousin is a daughter of the body, it is estimated that the confinement of ......
Chat with colleagues if you will be invisible, what will you do? There are bank robbers, there are kissing goddesses, there are peeping tom's, there are into the bath hall 。。。。。 A 2B coworker: I'll put a hundred dollars in the square, whoever picks it up, I'll step on whoever's hand!
My home next to a kindergarten, go back to late no land can only park in front of the door, parked a few times really no way to look at the door within the big brother will call at about 7:00 in the morning to let move the car. The previous said, "Hello, almost open the hospital, the children will soon come, please move off", on the day before yesterday morning brother called "Hello, the wake up" ha ha with the alarm is
Girlfriends to the introduction of boyfriends, that is extensive marketing me ah, at present, I have received plus VX quite a lot. The first thing I'd like to do is to get the best out of you, and I'm sure you'll be able to do it! Until today, I realized that she was using my swimsuit photo to introduce me to the boyfriend! Bullying small children ......" Dou Ding choked and said: I just want a gift, mom did not give me ...... "Ouch, bad mother, you say what you want, aunt aunt must give you! ...... "Cousin said sadly: he wants a brother, you give him birth to it ...... birth to it ......
When a man encounters difficulties Disappointment, Chinese women usually say: "You really useless, you see other men, where like you, you really have no talent." European and American women usually say, "Oh, dear, in fact you're doing well." Japanese women usually say, "So-and-so-kun, please go for it."
I play mahjong with my friends at home, there is a person in the middle of something, my brother-in-law happened to come to play, called him top, he said he would not play, my friend said that this year, which there will not play, hard to pull him on the table, to the goods, he took 4 east together thrown to the middle of the table, said: fried! We all instantly messed up 。。。。 If you sleep, both can be thrown
2, the world's farthest distance is someone else in the review, but you are in the preview
3, learning I'm crazy, the teacher quickly sent me to the mental hospital
4, my biggest shortcoming is: the lack of money
5, like a girl is someone else, do not like a girl is also a fucking someone else
6, a kind of injury is called winter vacation homework, but also a kind of injury is called winter vacation homework. A kind of injury is called winter vacation homework, a kind of pain is called writing to the hand waste
7, now more and more billionaires, and I have only one billion, or memories
8, my advantages: the courage to admit mistakes; shortcomings: resolutely do not change
9, intends to get a haircut, fling bangs flinging my neck are wrenched
10, the eight ring, don't think that you are standing in the street lamp is the
11, I'm so good a girl, you can not see, teenagers, could it be that you like men
12, the vacation time do not like to write homework, wait until the beginning of the school year only to find that the homework so much
13, a report card, how much destruction of the harmony of the family
14, each alarm clock next to the big sloth
15, bought a computer not on the broadband, as if the meat and wine are ready to eat before becoming a monk
16, you weak smile, pigs and dogs are hanging, you say you bullfork not bullfork
17, "What do Taoist priests generally call themselves?" "Poor Tao." "What about Taoist priests who love to watch movies?"" "Electricity ... movie poor Taoist?"
18, parents fooling children called education; children fooling parents called deception; fooling each other called generation gap
19, I want to build my happiness on the pain of others
20, my advantages: the courage to admit fault; shortcomings: resolutely do not change
21, the world is too dark, the hearts of people are too black, we are too false, love is too stupid
22, Since you pulled into the blacklist, the waist is not sore, legs do not hurt
23, do not cry in front of me, I'm afraid I can not help but let you cry louder
24, time to tell you what is called aging, memories tell you what is called childish
25, do not have to praise the beauty of the sister, sister can not believe that you that mouth
26, I know that you have a brother (breasts), who can see that this
27, I'm Ultraman, you're a little monster, so you only get beat up
28, when the time is ripe, let's hold hands openly
29, your future since I'm not there, then I'll back up the big gift to you as a surprise
30, gold will always shine, let alone I'm a diamond
31, so that the I will make sure that the person who fell down, I will let him never stand up again
32, pay equal to harvest, that is only your self-righteousness
33, bitch is bitch, bitch is pretentious
34, your acting is really good, if you are willing to act, I can continue to be the audience
35, love this painful things, please do not let me
36, even if there is no one to love, I can still live a very dashing life alone
37, since God chose to let me fall in love with you, you do not have the reason to refuse
38, the heart put in your place, I have the right to come back at any time
39, not that I don't love you, but I can no longer afford to lose
40, in fact, in this In this world, not many people are good to you, I have a good
41, the girl I was born proud of non-good people
42, your world from now on there is me, beware of will not be at peace
43, if I do not love you, I'm not free nothing will not go to care about you
44, is that I wrongly believe that you are the scum of the earth, but also really is very good
45, is that I do not love you, I'm not going to go to the police, I'm not going to go to the police, I'll go to the police.
45, you are my hands of money, never want to escape from the palm of my hand
46, do not love even if, why then look for so bad excuses
47, in the evaluation of others, it is best to weigh their own weight in the hearts of others
48, there is about your love, I will be like reading a novel to read the end of the
49, obsessed with the sister's dog
50, your promise like a floating cloud, I see that there is no need to promise me
Gripping inspirational sayings mood phrases
1, the most powerful people are those who carry a thousand pounds in the heart, the surface is very calm.
2, forget about failure, but keep in mind the lessons learned from failure.
3. All goals are dark, only action is accompanied by light!
4, the world of knowledge are learned, and the human condition that article.
5, memories, is the way of the weak; look ahead to go, will win.
6, believe that the rainbow always follows the mist, will bring happiness.
7. Memories of the past, how can I live on memories.
8. Life is a bout of pain, pain for a while, will grow a little
9. People must believe in themselves, this is the secret of success.
10. Although I have not reached the finish line, I am at least closer to the finish line than I was yesterday.
11, look up, how white clouds; fool, try to smile
12, from now on, I have to be tough tough tough life.
13. Everything will be good in the end. If it's not good, it's not the end.
14, there will be a day, the sunflower will be touched by the little sun because of the unrelenting
15, after the flowers thank the wind and rain, flowers bloom sunshine is still
16, even if the dream is unattainable, but as long as you insist on it, there will be a day of realization.
17, no one in this world will not be able to live without anyone, because we are all strong children,
18, forget the promise you once had, a person strong finish the rest of his life.
19, no one can go back to the past to start again, but who can start from now, write a completely different ending.
20, and back to the original point, from now on to start my new life.
21, open-minded, optimistic and positive; as things go, self-improvement!
22, the world only can not think of people, no road.
23, I believe that as long as the down-to-earth walk, will always come out of my day
24, stop to rest, do not forget that others are still running.
25, the relationship is to run out, feelings are drinking out, friends are out of the place, but the cause is dry out, never blow out.
26, everything is finally over, everything has just begun
27, try to let themselves not drown in the crowd, so try to live in abundance
28, to learn to get rid of the scoundrels, have their own wonderful.
29, smile what's the big deal, tomorrow will be better.
30, forget the past, live well is the most important.
31, give up to love you to continue to look for people who can discover my good
32, I'm this Hong Francolin, do not know you bird's will.
33, happy is a day, unhappy is also a day, I have to seize the time, happy to live a good day,
34, crying tears is the catharsis of cowardice laughing tears is a declaration of bravery
35, the brave pursuit of happiness, this is the sunflower language.
36, even if there is no "flowery" beauty, life should also be as beautiful as flowers bloom.
37, I pour love into the sea water, until one day dry, printed on the shore is my determination
38, understand the past, live in the present, ready for the future!
39, no matter how much pain in the heart. I will smile and say to the world that I am fine!
40, lost love is not necessarily a bad thing, may be the next happy start.
41, sighing is the most waste of time, crying is the most wasteful behavior.
42, don't be in a hurry, the best will always appear in the most unconscious time.
43, I continue to hold on, even if the tears are flowing.
44, - stubborn sunflower, still follow the sun never give up, even if the sun burns ...
45, I have to smile with a smile to bring everything to persuade tomorrow
46, time can not be retrogressed, we have to move forward,
47, do not be because of a period of feelings, on the complete loss of possessiveness of love
48, even if the life of the chicken and egg I have to do 1 can not be killed
49, as long as the belief that there is a possibility
50, the reality is very hurt, and now the girl would rather cry in the BMW is not willing to laugh on the bike, if you can not get you, then wait for me to make enough money to find your daughter!
51, the most wonderful life is not to realize the dream of the moment, but to adhere to the dream process.
52, can fail. Can cry. But can not lose the courage and confidence in themselves.
53, life's most regrettable, no more than young is not studying hard
54, strong women will cry, but will not admit defeat
55, no wings of the angels, the heart is still flying
56, no matter how much helplessness when the smile is the best way to cheer up
57, the rest, in order to let the future take a longer way.
58, suffered a big blow, as long as life is still there, please believe that every day the sun is new.
59, stumbled to understand a lot, understand the Russian people on you one.
60, if the rigidity is in the crying exercise out, which then let me cry a dark sky.