The popularity of square dancing has allowed many middle-aged and elderly people to find a second spring in their lives, especially many older people after dinner like to dance in groups of about three or five in the neighborhood to dance all kinds of square dancing, not only to spend time, but also to increase their own social circle, which would have been a very meaningful activity, but it seems that now the square dance is becoming a source of disintegration of some families, so that the attitude of the square dance has changed. a different kind of change.
Recently, I saw the downstairs security uncle Lao Wan look depressed, in accordance with the past, to see their own into the neighborhood has long been greeted, until I walked into the security booth he did not notice me, I feel a little bit wrong, and take the initiative and the Lao Wan greetings: "Lao Wan, how is it? Look how like a frosted eggplant ah?"
"Hey, it's hard to say ah, the backyard fire, I have no place to put this old face."
"A fire in the backyard? Lao Wan, you're not talking nonsense, are you? What happened to your wife Xiuying? Hmm?"
"Well, it's my wife, recently she and a neighborhood near us a little close to the man, originally I did not know, or my neighbor reminded me, said that the man is often with my wife and square dance together, I did not believe it at first, I think that my wife and I have lived a few decades, grandchildren have, how can I not believe that she will play on the TV show that set, I did not expect to really play! That set, I did not expect it really staged, I still can not believe it, and do not know why she did it."
"Lao Wan, what exactly is the situation? I feel like I can't react all of a sudden here, kinda blindsided."
"In fact, the words are not long, I'm not in our neighborhood as a security guard, just to earn a little extra money, Xiuying, she's a person all right and her sisters chatting, scurrying, shopping, I did not care, recently, this is the majority of half a year, I do not know who took her, began to obsessed with the square dance, every night after dinner on the dance, I sometimes have to work the night shift, and can not always be at home with her and supervise her, but I also have a lot of time, I do not know who to take her, began to obsess on the square dance, every day after dinner on the dance. I sometimes have to work the night shift, but also can not always be at home with her and supervise her, after all, the thought of her alone at home all right also bored, dancing is also good, people have something to do, the mood is also comfortable, I'm not worried about this, but did not think, recently I went home and found that she is always distracted, and her chatting was not so much as the words of the previous enthusiasm, I did not think much about it, and only every day after dinner, she went to work like a rush to go to dance, after all, and her! Old husband and wife for almost 30 years, who also thought the body is buried in the earth half a cut also out of this gear."
Lao Wan smoked a mouthful of cigarettes, paused and continued: "Neighbors told me about this, I began to really do not believe it, I went home and she confronted, I did not think that she was quick, directly admitted it, but in turn, I was stunned to get me to freeze, I did not have the words to continue to talk about it, and asked her why she wants to be like this, we are an old married man and wife, the son and daughter-in-law outside the good mix, I came as a security guard is to find a way to find a good job, and the security guard is to find a good job.
I listened carefully and asked, "What did your wife Xiuying say?"
"She said the words can be really angry with me, said and I have been living with this wood for 30 years, has always been will be blind through, until the square dance met that man only feel how interesting life is, feel and I am with the waste of 30 years of light time time, to be honest, I am single-minded for this family, when I was young in the outside to make money to support the family, provide for the son to go to college, graduate school, and now, I have to go to college. My son went to college and graduate school, and now my son has become a family man, I also relaxed a little bit, I thought of our community as a security guard to find some work to do, but also by the way to earn a little living expenses, do not give the child to add a burden, and now out of this gear, I face are lost, walking on the road all feel the neighbors neighborhood behind the back of the discussion of this matter, I have not dared to tell my son for fear that he was distracted from his work."
"Hey, Lao Wan you do not think too much, life must go on, go home more and your wife to communicate with communication, to see if there is no turnaround, do not tell your son it, after all, have lived most of his life, encounter this on the shelves of anyone who is not good, I understand you, go home to deal with the backyard, this side of the security work I think you are still pause for a bit better. "
"Yes, I and my colleague Li head accounted for the two days to let him help me cover two days, I go back to deal with this matter, can pass, can not pass I can not help, we do to stand up to their conscience on the line."
Junior couples old to accompany, will be on the marriage hidden crisis
Said that young couples old to accompany, derailment, cleave these words seem to be more should appear in the young people's emotions, did not think now the emotional crisis of the elderly is not uncommon, just out of their concerns, personal influence and unwilling to tell the children and other factors, so we see the real case is not uncommon, but not uncommon means no, these dark secret, but not uncommon. The fact that we don't see a lot of them doesn't mean there aren't any. These hidden emotional crises have always existed, but they're just more y hidden.
Can walk through most of his life, not that survived the so-called seven-year itch, marriage is like a safety lock as foolproof, the fact is not so, many marriages are zombie marriages, the same bed, it seems that two people in the name of husband and wife to maintain a few decades, but in fact the name of the real death, and there is not much emotional foundation between each other, purely a partner in the life of the day, will be over, the marriage in fact, the dark currents, hidden, the marriage is not a good idea. The dark current surging, hidden unknown crisis, once encountered outside certain temptations, this zombie marriage is very easy to disintegrate, and will not be because of old age and compromise with each other, if you can always maintain this zombie marriage, the reason may be just a party has not encountered temptation, or the outside world is not big enough temptation only!
Elderly marriage is not static, but also to pay attention to each other's psychological activities and emotional needs
Many middle-aged and elderly couples believe that the two have been hand in hand for most of their lives, each other are aware of each other, are living into each other, and therefore it is often easy to ignore each other's psychological activities and emotional needs, and think that I belong to the young people in love with the category of the Secretary of State, middle-aged and elderly couples are not just trying to get through a The fact is that many people do not think that this is the case.
Particularly for women, twenty-year-old women need emotional nourishment, fifty-year-old also need emotional nourishment, women's desire for emotion will only increase with the increase in age, and will not be reduced, not that they do not need, but with the increase in experience and accumulation of years, they learn to be more introspective, and become more inept at expression.
So as a husband, marriage is a lifelong career, but also live to old, learn to old, run to the old work, there is no one layer of invariable, to the old and middle-aged, or need to pay attention to their wives' psychological and emotional state, they still need to be concerned about and care for them, in front of the outsiders, they may be a strong mom, but in front of her husband, she will always be the same husband needs to take care of the woman. The first is to be a woman who needs to be taken care of by her husband.
Loyalty is a mandatory obligation between husband and wife, can not love, but should not betray
In fact, compared to the feelings of young people, young people do not love, you can say it out loud, and even choose to let go, let go of each other will get relief, but for the middle-aged and old age marriages, they are missing the basic communication, either the marriage is calm and quiet do not have any problems, and once the problem is very sudden! The fact that it is hard to imagine that usually so a pair of exemplary loving couples feelings are so unbearable, instantly towards disintegration.
In fact, for the breakup of this, at least one-sided personal thought young people to do more cutting-edge and in place, if the current state of the relationship is not what they want, then you must come up with the courage to make a decision to say no to dissatisfaction, rather than will be and make do, after all, in the process of will be and make do, you are a legitimate husband and wife, if the center of the feelings born of other love, that is, the feelings of betrayal. The betrayal of their own completely does not account for any reason, even if you pour out a bunch of bitter water, public opinion and morality will not be betrayal table to sympathize.
Marriage is maintained during the loyalty is still mandatory for each other's due diligence obligations, you can choose to let go of the pursuit of their own happiness, but should not be riding a horse and then looking for a horse, even if there is no feelings of marriage, long-term relationship with each other has formed the inertia of marriage, at least in the form of the two sides is still a husband and wife, the emergence of the betrayal of the other side will still be a shock to the other party to make the other side is difficult to accept, which may be The first thing you need to do is to get a good understanding of the situation and how it will affect you.