The famous ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle said: The secret to humor is surprise. The translation of this sentence is that the secret to humor is surprise.
So if you want to start off on the right foot, it's vital to master this secret, which will help you win and impress.
The secret to humor is surprise
Not all people are comfortable with your silenceOf course, before you encounter humor, you'll probably meet someone who likes to play it cool, who says it's more mysterious and gives people the desire to find out what's going on.
Chiang Fei is one such person.
When Seaside Park opened its first food festival, we met up to take over the entire food court and never went home without taking three laps. Nina brought along a strange friend, Jiang Fei.
In fact, when I defined Jiang Fei as a "friend", I was always confronted with the rebuttal from my other friends: "How can you call him a friend with that ice cube face?" I tried to say that it was for Nina's face, but they were even more dismissive, saying, "There's no such thing as a group of people, and there shouldn't be a high-caliber alternative in the middle of a bunch of jokers.
That day, Nina was late, and by the time she arrived, several of us were sampling some of the food in our hands, more or less, and in the mood for more food.
"The only thing you can't live up to is the food and the view. If I have to give up one thing, I'd rather be based in the food court." Gugu's exclamation caused us to laugh, and when she saw Nina's late arrival from a distance, she teased, "Nana Fairy, it's not easy to wait for you, look at the square dance of the next door's big moms all the way to the 19th verse before you show up ......."
"Sorry!" Nina said this, but her face does not see the slightest guilt, she is famous for "late king", we do not care, but by a serious young man behind her attracted.
"Boyfriend, huh?" I asked curiously, poking Nina with my elbow.
"No, no, no, it's just a friend, the son of one of my mom's little sisters, and my mom had to make me bring him out to play, so I couldn't help it. I actually don't know him very well, just met him a couple times when I was a kid." Nina finished, by the way, help us to introduce with Jiang Fei to know.
Gugu has always been a self acquaintance, despite meeting Jiang Fei for the first time, he did not have the reserve of a stranger at all, but instead enthusiastically greeted him first: "Hello, handsome, we are all Nina's buddies, more guidance haha."
Compared to Gugu's enthusiasm, Jiang Fei appeared to be much more aloof, he just politely nodded to us, and started to look around as if he was ignoring us.
Self-indifference at a gathering
Gugu and I looked at each other in disbelief, Nina also felt embarrassed, and could only smile sarcastically and chase after him.
"Wow, what kind of a man is this, he's so arrogant, would it kill him to say 'hello'?" Gu Gu couldn't hold down her fiery temper and said with a bit of indignation.
"Maybe it's the high-flying 'bully'?" I jokingly tried to defuse Gu Gu.
"'Bossy president' does not take the blame for this, and is not dumb, so glancing at what the hell, look down on people?" Because of the excitement, Gu Gu's venomous tongue also began to flare up, "Does it mean it's playing it cool? Come on, what era is it, underwear or outer pants?"
"Come on, that's pretty much it." If we don't stop it, Gu Gu will get more and more excited as she talks, and the rest of her friends follow suit to appease her, "Let's play with our own, let Nina serve this kind of lordship on her own."
Nina also knows that Jiang Fei's indifference has offended this group of friends, and said to him on the way home, "Those friends of mine are very good to get along with, there is really no need for you to be so silent, but instead, you give people a very distant feeling."
"I didn't mean to be like that, I just don't know how to get along with strangers." Jiang Fei then explained the misunderstanding to Nina, "Maybe a few more contacts, they should be able to understand me, right?"
Nina thought to herself, still expecting others to come to understand first, I'm afraid there won't be many opportunities to make contact in the future.
An unfamiliar relationship with the label "silent" not only fails to be understood, but also creates a first impression of alienation and a sense of distance that cannot be crossed. The relationship that could have progressed to the point where it became a "silent death".
No one should have to adapt to your personality first
Silence can't mobilize a relaxed atmosphere
On the day of the birthday party, Gugu specially booked a KTV box to treat the guests, and she notified Ah Shang to come along. A Shang was too embarrassed to refuse directly, so he politely said, "It's not that I won't come, but in the past two days, my college friend Dakui has been playing over here, so I have to accompany him, and it's not too good to leave him alone at home!"
"It's okay, you bring Dakui together, are young people, afraid of what." Gu Gu has always been enthusiastic, and does not care about one more stranger, "Your friends are not our friends, as long as they get along."
Gu Gu put the words to this point, A Shang also embarrassed to excuse, then agreed. After hanging up the phone, he said to Dakui: "My good friend today birthday, asked you to go together, no problem, right?"
"It's not too good ......" Daikui was a bit hesitant, "You know, I'm not very good at talking."
"My friends are good with each other, don't worry." Shang comforted him, "If you really can't stay, then we'll come back early, okay?"
When it was time for dinner, Ah Shang took Daikui with him to the appointed place. After a brief introduction, Daikyuu wasn't as cheerful as everyone thought and just sat in his seat without speaking.
We were afraid of leaving Daikui out in the cold, so we made a point of picking neutral topics that he could engage in together, and even discussed the game with him when we learned that he was playing King's Honor with Shang.
"Daikyuu, which hero do you usually play?" Gu Gu is also a fan of the game, and although she often pits her teammates, she doesn't care about winning or losing, she just cares that she's having fun.
"I don't play much." Daikyuu's words, like a splash of cold water doused Gugu's enthusiasm for wanting to continue.
A good friendship is comforting at all times
"Dakui is preparing for the civil service exam, and he doesn't have enough time to study, so he doesn't play too much these days." Shang hurriedly added, and the crowd drifted off without looking deeper.
"That's awesome, still determined to take the civil service exam, I gave up a long time ago." I also participated in the public examination, it is well known that the public examination of the competitive pressure.
Hearing my words, Dakui looked at me and said softly, "It's okay."
Dakui's voice is not loud, but the friends here heard, but do not know how to pick up his words, and the idea of trying to get him to fit into this environment has faded a lot, so they began to talk about their own topics.
The "conversation starter" has always been a little less friendly.
Singing, drinking, around the friends are having a good time, Gu Gu is in a good mood, said to Daikui: "This student, you also come to a song, right? Let's all have fun together!" Her intention was to take advantage of the lively atmosphere to try and familiarize Dakui with everyone.
"I'm not much of a singer, just listen to you guys sing." Daikui refused Gu Gu's offer without a second thought, and Shang on the side could only sit with him and occasionally talk to us for a few moments.
"Let's go first, we have to get up early tomorrow to go to Putuo Mountain." Ah Shang found an excuse to take Dakui to leave early, Gu Gu did not retain, waving his hand as a goodbye.
A Shang and Dakui front feet just left, Gu Gu said impatiently: "These days are not like to pretend to be a 'domineering president' ah? You've read too many romance novels, haven't you?"
The people who will chat know that silence can not mobilize a relaxed atmosphere, quiet and can not deepen the first impression of strangers, not only will produce a disconnect, it is easier for people to hit the "hard to contact" label.
However, this is a truth that not everyone understands, as with Jiang Fei and Dakui.
Basic courtesy you must know
A good opening can facilitate the development of friendship afterwardThinking back to when I first met Mu, it was in a northeastern restaurant.
A while ago, that northeastern food restaurant in the island official food public launched a promotional activities, concessions are very strong, the original four-person set meal discounted to close to 30% off, the dishes include the northeast is very classic some of the "hard food".
While the offer was on sale, our close circle of friends launched a group "through the black, Kyrgyzstan and Liao" action, and A-Mu joined our circle in this activity.
Originally, I didn't have a particular impression of Mu, who was silent in the corner, just listening to a few of our friends chatting, and it was only after the set meal was served that I had an impression of him.
For our group of foodies, the four-person set meal was a bit small, but in the spirit of "you can't be picky when you eat for free," none of us spoke up first.
"They say that Northeastern cuisine is very large, is this for one person?" Ah Mu coldly out of the blue, immediately brightened up the eyes, simply our heart ah!
The waiter's face was obviously a bit unnatural, but still had the spirit of service to patiently explain to us, "Hello, this is a set menu for four people."
Because it's a new store, the owner also attaches great importance to the experience of each customer, and seeing that our side is quite busy, he came to us and asked with a smile, "How can I help you?"
Originally, it was just a group of friends playing around, because the store owner's involvement would have turned into a verbal confrontation, and we were afraid the scene would get out of hand, so we hurriedly explained to the store owner: "We're just kidding, look at the molds of the group of people we thought it was a one-person portion."
The owner of the store quietly surveyed the circle of friends present, stifled laughter, emotionally relaxed, also seemed to be joking with the waiter said: "This table has not been on the dishes with the kitchen to say a little, add some amount."
The shopkeeper's words moderated the originally awkward atmosphere, and Aki also helped out by saying, "Don't underestimate the appetite of our island people, it's a big one."
"That's right, the people of the island are the sea volume." The shopkeeper laughed along with us.
Your humor can infect everyone in the room
After the shopkeeper left, we resumed our conversation, and Aki suddenly became the center of attention among his friends.
"You talk with such humor, like me I can't, especially in unfamiliar surroundings, I blush when I talk." Ajay blushed again in embarrassment.
"This humor of Aki is comparable to Gu Gu." Hua Yu said.
"Nonsense, Gugu is clearly toxic." I chimed in from the sidelines.
"Ahem, big sister, are you talking about me? I'm still sitting here, so please treat me like a human being, okay?" Gu Gu was reluctant.
Aki looked at us as we spoke to each other, and the detachment he felt when we first made contact had long since vanished. Since then, he often attends our parties, and has become a part of our close circle of friends.
A good opening statement can promote the development of friendship - with rude and humorous words, not only can instantly resolve the conflict and embarrassment, but also eliminate the gap in the invisible, closer to each other.
Happiness is so simple
"Oddball" strong production of "good talk: fresh and interesting words refined skills" mentioned in the sense of humor is the ability to create an atmosphere, not just tell jokes, to avoid misunderstanding is important, skills to skills, the mind has to relax.
So, if you want to have a good opening, relax your mind, let your humor out, and be the center of attention in the crowd.
A good book to read is "High Emotional Intelligence Expressions"
Chatting tips:Atmosphere baking principle 1: Humorous way of speaking can give people a bright surprise, will be unfamiliar with the environment baked into the mature exchange, dissolve the embarrassment, and enhance the feelings of each other.
Atmosphere baking principle 2: Distinguish between the gap between humor and funny, humor is able to let people feel the wisdom of the speaker and the existence of the ability to guide, and funny is superficial a little.
Authorized | Zi Language Culture
Typography | Red Fruit
Audit | Li Zi Language
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