Sister Sisi good!
I feel like my life is being messed up by myself, and I have a mother-in-law who is very nagging and self-righteous, who fights with my father-in-law all day long, but has never been able to persuade him to do anything in his life! There is also a husband who has been spoiled by my in-laws since he was a child and can't do anything, the only good thing is that he knows that he cares for me, basically we are okay together! Since the marriage, soon had a baby, because he works, often not at home, about seven or eight days a month can be at home, basically the family is me, my father-in-law, mother-in-law and children, the beginning of the life can be, but in recent times, more and more can not tolerate the mother-in-law's endless nagging, listen to her talk, my head aches, and even I will avoid talking to her, probably because before I don't care what she does, she is the only one that I can't do. Because before I no matter what I do, she will mention a little advice, or if not, is the mouth of a "boo", so that I now especially do not want to talk to her.
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Sister, has always been parents educated me to do a sensible good girl, filial piety elders, sympathetic husband, we have a problem, my mother always said I do not do the right thing, but the family, my in-laws may be from a young age special favor him, we just got married, his hands-on ability is basically zero, well he is willing to do for me, for the family to work hard, and has been working hard, but I am not sure how much I will be able to do, but I am not sure how much I will be able to do for you.
I've been listening to my colleagues in the office talking about the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and at first I thought I was quite lucky to meet nice in-laws, married for four years, living together for three years, more and more to find that my tolerance is getting lower and lower, as soon as I heard my mother-in-law speak I had a headache.
Sister, how to do ah? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Rain under the eaves: He saw if he could get a job that would allow him to be at home more often, and then the three of them were alone.
Review of Rain on the Roof :
She said a lot, the solution is actually my reply "he see if you can change a job that can often be at home, and then the three people single. Those 23 words.
The first thing I'd like to do is to move out of the house and have some space to eat, so I can satisfy my own eating habits that I've had since I was a kid. It is also better to clearly understand the advantages and disadvantages of living together and separately. In-laws can have some of their own lives, walks in the park, square dancing, chatting with other people of the same age group, etc., and are not limited to bringing up grandchildren, around the children and grandchildren.
He doesn't come back, you don't move out. Your whole life and my confidences won't make a difference; your mother-in-law will keep nagging and he'll still only be home 7-8 days a month. He's still a mommy's boy; when he does a little housework, his in-laws will still rush to do it ahead of his son. Of course, it could be slightly different, upsetting you, he no longer does the kneeling down to you act which sounds new to me.
So, I've made my opinion clear and understandable in this entire email.
Also, the reason I keep letting people send emails and don't like people chatting with me on WeChat or QQ is because chatting is very, very time-consuming, and the last time I had two baby mamas getting divorced, I chatted with one in the morning on QQ, and another in the afternoon on QQ, and I've done one of those things this day. And I have a lot of other things I should do to do.
To get back to the point, the topic I want to talk about today is: how to reduce nagging.
How to reduce nagging
At any age, when you're unhappy, you have to get rid of it in time
When you're unhappy, you have to get rid of it in time in one way or another: talking to someone, crying it out, writing it out, shopping, eating ice cream, and so on. ...... and so on, I hold back, I endure, I save, I just need others to see me a gorgeous robe, can not see the lice crawling inside. And a lot of times, you don't digest this thing.
The nagging people have a lot of words that start like this, "When I was sitting in the moon, my mother-in-law ....." She's a mother-in-law now, but she's never in her life dissolved the resentment she felt towards her in-laws and husband when she was on her monthly cycle.
"You're sorry for me, you had an affair that year with that woman ....." He had an affair, you forgave him, he has turned the page, but you have not turned the page in your life, it is the fishbone that has been in your throat all your life. He is sick of hearing about it, your son and granddaughter are sick of hearing about it, and any initial sympathy and understanding for you is canceled out by your 360th nagging.
The unpleasantness that is bottled up in your heart goes to: the nagging that you can't quit, some kind of illness in your body, your mental illness, your depression, and so on.
My cousin used to play with me when I was a kid, and she was my mom's own sister's daughter. In junior high school, once at night after school to help her father to do farm work, while working her father counted her, she cried while working, and still cried at night before going to bed, the next day, she went crazy. The next day, she went crazy. After that, she was lost due to mental illness, and her father brought her back, and then lost her again, until she was never found again.
My mom's a female colleague, one night and her husband argued, after the fight, crying, the next day at work, she has been hahaha laugh. My mom said: what's wrong with you? She said: I can't help it. She ha ha ha ha for a day, the next day is always good.
These two things may be an example, but it made me never dare to cry at night before going to sleep again in my life.
A friend's daughter broke up after a relationship, she didn't talk to anyone about her sadness, she was depressed and her parents had to tie her to a chair because she was ready to jump at any moment.
It is essential to relieve your emotions in time.
And the other half of the inability to communicate smoothly so that you become nagging
A friend's husband is particularly responsible for the family, to provide for their parents, brothers, once and she said: I intend to let my brother's family of 4 to move to our home, 8 people live together.
She disagreed.
The couple argued about this every day.
There are 358 interpreters between her and him all the time.
If you meet someone when you're in love and realize that it's been a chicken-and-egg relationship that's been grinding on for years, and it's also been a case of him not being able to persuade you and you not being able to persuade him, then I don't think there's anything to be sorry for, even if it's a breakup. In marriage, love alone is not enough, material alone is not enough, harmonious sex life alone is not enough, but also between husband and wife *** with the same values, interests, etc., of course, also includes smooth communication. Sometimes you marry that person, not he screwed, he chauvinistic, he stubborn and not worldly, there is a possibility that he is actually an unintelligent asshole. This comes from his own personality traits, the upbringing and education he received from his family of origin, his lack of learning later in life, and so on.
Every sentence can be said once the thing, you have to cry, shouting, yelling, noisy and he said 10 times, he may not be able to understand, willing to listen to understand, this is really very happy? This really makes you happy?
Children make you a nag
So I often organize book giveaways, and my own hobby history is like this: I was a passionate bridegroom before, and after introducing more than 30 pairs of people to get married, I took a break, and realized that solving the problem of singleness may not necessarily make for a happy marriage. Then began to reply to the letter, reply to the letter in the process found that happy marriage are similar, unhappy marriage factors are many, need too much learning and management, then read more. So began to send books.
The benefits of reading are more than just being able to make your family always in the state of like a million horses, always shouting mom, mom, mom to make you brain pain in the child to stop for a while. The main thing is to let the children and you know some more sense, more knowledge, have a better life. (A certain mom bought some fruits and her mother-in-law ate them. A certain mom posted a friend circle: My mother-in-law always steals my fruits. My feeling after reading this is that you and your husband try to work harder. (Earn more money, buy more fruits, and why should you be afraid of who will eat them?) You can learn some strategies and methods that are more practical and useful to you in running your marriage and life, and in raising your children, so that you can think more clearly and speak in a coherent way, instead of relying on nagging alone.
The last thing I want to say is that educating children and tutoring homework must be done together with your significant other. I used to have a father-in-law who wrote to me: My daughter-in-law always says it's hard to take care of the kids, but I took care of them for a day yesterday, and the kids and I had a great time. Well, don't just play one day, tell me how you feel after 365 days.
Many dads always feel that their wives counseling children's homework is very annoying and incompetent, yelling and nagging. In fact, switching dads on is sometimes 50 paces of laughter. Last time a dad tutored his first-grade son's homework, after yelling his face off, he gave a mom's rationalization is: too angry, must be beaten up.
Read a survey, men do not like women do the most things, ranked first is nagging. Physiological characteristics of a speech by Dr. Psychology, Professor Hong Lan of Taiwan, mentioned that "men speak 7,000 words a day, women speak 20,000 words a day, and some of the men in the office to speak 7,000 words." (If conditions allow, try to go out to work, there are a lot of work things can be exchanged with colleagues, so as not to always wait and he alone to say that nowhere to digest the words.)
So often a portion of husbands will seem reluctant to communicate with their wives after work, which makes the wife nag even more: why don't you communicate with me, why don't you communicate with me, why don't you communicate with me ..... Wives should try to find the right way of communication, effective communication, try to talk about things, clear thinking.
People who nag are said to be partly because of anxiety, then reduce anxiety from themselves. If your loved ones are nagging, then help them reduce their anxiety.
After reading this article, come tell me tomorrow, March 1, 2018, did you nag?
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